Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I started taking Prozac and it has helped me A LOT. A year ago I was a complete mess but I still have bad days. I can relate to a lot of your experiences but haven’t read anything quite like mine. Idk if it’s ocd or if I’m just crazy. I start thinking about how we don’t have a lot of control over our minds. Then start thinking about how I could develop schizophrenia. Then I start panicking whether I already do have schizophrenia and I just don’t know it. Then I start questioning whether anything that I’m thinking is real or normal. I don’t really know how to explain it. Like I’m able to function in life, I go to school, I work, I have a social life, so I know that if I actually had schizophrenia, I probably wouldn’t be able to have all this stuff going on in my life, but it’s like, how can I ever actually know? And then when I have a panic attack, it makes me feel so out of control and I experience almost like derealization and that makes me question if I have schizophrenia even more. Does this make sense?

OCD is making it hard for me to show affection. I have harm OCD and am disturbed by thoughts of hurting the ones closest to me. Recently it has been very hard for me to be affectionate with my significant other, or even contact my family or close friends back home. What’s even worse is I recently moved to a new area and now I really am having a hard time making friends. This thing blows.

Having Social Anxiety with OCD is so annoyingly hard. I have Real Event OCD themed around hurting my partner. So for example every time time I drink I obsess over the thought that I may have flirted or tried to hook up with another girl even though I would never do that, but since alcohol is involved I start freaking out because I ask myself “what if you got a too drunk and you just don’t remember?” and then my social anxiety comes in to double team my ass and says “hell yeah you did that and everyone saw you or she told all your friends about it and now everyone is gossiping and judging you.” Then OCD comes back with compulsions and says “yup you gotta confess before someone else tells her” or “you better fucking think about every second of that moment and make sure you didn’t do it” but since I can’t remember how I spent every single second I was there, my depression makes it’s grand entrance and makes me cry and stay in my bed without eating or drinking water for the rest of the day. I end up sleeping like 13 consecutive hours and then the cycle repeats the next day :) I love it here. It’s kind of impressive that my mind can do all this to me honestly.

I'm 15.I have sexual orientation and hocd.My life is going badly right now. I wonder what will happen in the future if my life goes on like this now.i am scared . Please tell me what to do.

So it's been 7 days since my last post and I'm back. I've been feeling mostly good, little more relaxed compared to before and it felt decent giving myself a break from the usual things my mind ruminates about or any compulsions I might have urges on. There were days where I felt completely okay with my mistake and other days where I kept saying myself for it. Days where I felt I was allowed to make mistakes in order to get better, but other days that make it seem like because I made these mistakes I'm an idiot or an awful person because no one else would possibly make the same mistake I made. Tonight was one of the more bad days. I know you need bad days to have good days to balance out of course, but I'm getting all confused again. It's hard to talk to people about this because they'll quickly realize that I'm repeating myself over my mistakes in the same way my mind thinks of the same think over and over and over and over again. Though I don't blame them. I guess that's the one thing I'm stuck on much like before: The quest for certainty. To be honest, it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't think about it so much because deep down I do feel that my mistakes were mistakes and they aren't things I want to go through again or see someone else go through. I don't wish that kind of thing on anyone at all. Every single time my mind goes back to the mistakes however, I can't help but feel I'm in the wrong and I don't deserve any grace for the things that happened, even though I didn't plan any of the mistakes. I just want to let go of these thoughts and accept that I messed up and made the mistakes I made and move on back to how I used to be before the pandemic.

Feeling especially triggered today. I feel like no matter what I want, I always automatically sexualize women. It feels like an automatic compulsion but I know that before this theme of OCD, I never used to do that (or at least recognize that I was doing it?) I know a back door spike is a sign you’re getting better, but I feel so defeated and can’t see myself being able to move on and pursue a relationship with a man (or even a woman if I’ve been in denial this whole time). I don’t want to end up alone but I feel that’s the direction I’m headed

Ok.. ok made the mistake of looking up soocd on twitter to see if anyone else I follow suffers from it and all I got were people saying it's fake and just homophobia... I am so anxious right now. I know it's not true because even lgbt experience soocd.. but god.. that triggered the hell out of me.

This isn’t ocd related but I would really like some help. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about two and a half years and I have some problems. -She never texts back and says it’s cause of her ADHD (I do believe her) but this is a problem because I need to just talk to someone through the day -I am always the one who has to make plans -I always compliment her always call her a beautiful angel all that stuff but she rarely compliments me -I just don’t think I am getting the appreciation I deserve -I know she loves me but I feel like I love her a lot more Overall I love her and I want to marry her but I just don’t know what to do. It’s depressing to stay in a relationship where it feels so one sided. Idk if we should take a break or what but it’s just hard. If anyone has any advice about relationships at all please tell me.

Has anyone else had racism themed ocd

Someone please help me 😢 I’m having what I think is a false memory of me cheating on my boyfriend by kissing someone else On a night out a few days ago. This sprung out of no where and I kind of could’ve guessed it would happen as I have had a lot of false memories in the past month and I fear them. Now, this is something I would never do because my boyfriend is my entire world I can’t explain how much I love him. It is breaking my heart having these what if thoughts, and it’s breaking my heart to picture him heartbroken over this. I wish I could figure out how false memories happen. I wish this horrible mental disease never existed. I feel like I have completely ruined my life

Me yesterday: having intrusive thoughts and getting anxiety Me today: not freaking out about my thoughts for five minutes My brain: YOU DONT HAVE OCD ITS ALL REAL YOU HAVEN’T HAD AN INTRUSIVE THOUGHT IN DAYS Me twenty minutes ago: oh no, I haven’t had an intrusive thought in a while, maybe it is true :((( Me now: wtf 😂 It’s so weird how ocd works. I need to get some humor out of it 💀

I'm a Christian and I'm struggling with OCD today. Ugh. Its attacking my morals, my beliefs, my hobbies, everything.

hi friends, i was diagnosed with ocd within the past month, and it was completely unexpected despite me always having a lot of intrusive thoughts, obsessive thoughts, and some compulsions. my ocd doesn’t manifest in the stereotypical way we see on tv, with all of the physical compulsions, and i had no clue that ocd could exist without those types of compulsions, so it took a while for me to really start understanding myself. i know that exposure therapy is the best thing for ocd but i’m legitimately terrified about some of things i would need to do. like there’s some stuff that i don’t think will bother me too much and would be helpful, but some of my thoughts make me feel so anxious that the idea of sitting with those feelings makes me not want to even try. the fact that i also have adhd makes it even harder to be motivated to do something i know will feel awful. i’m in therapy currently and just started medication and i’m really excited to be working on this because even though i’m terrified, i feel like it’s the first real step i’ll be taking towards helping my brain. i’d love to hear some reassurance from people who are doing exposure therapy, or even just tips people have for dealing with obsessive thoughts. this is all really new to me and i’m already noticing a bit of a difference because i’m able to remind myself “this is ocd, this isn’t a realistic thought”, but i would really appreciate any other advice!!! i also keep having this thought that since i don’t have all of those compulsions and that my intrusive thoughts don’t (generally) cause me any long term distress that i can’t have ocd, but i know that’s not true. i’d love to hear from other people who have more pure obsessional ocd or people who’s ocd doesn’t follow the usual pattern. i’m really excited to have this app now and to start working on my ocd because i really feel like with the combination of my meds and my therapist and this app i’ll be able to feel better. thank you for reading!!!

I’m genuinely starting to wonder if I have ocd at all . It seems like I have such intense desire for the things I don’t want and no desire for men at all. Men don’t turn me on and I haven’t enjoyed being with them for a very long time. I’m genuinely starting to wonder if this whole time I’ve just been suppressing my genuine sexuality and pretending it’s ocd.

Hello I am new here, and I have been dealing with I believe postpartum OCD/anxiety. It’s been awful & exhausting to live with day by day... I’m excited to hopefully get the help I need with this community. The thoughts of “what if’s” “this could happen” (etc) triggers me so much. Does anyone feel like they have something worse then OCD and feel like they are going completely insane and deserved to be locked up? Tonight’s been rough for me.

Are there any Christians in this community that have HOCD? If so please pray for me. I’m so disillusioned and feel so alone without god and Jesus’ presence. It feels like I’ve been abandoned and alone. I’m so scared

Any Christians on here that struggle with POCD?

Thinking about relationships makes me feel so bad. At this point both men and women trigger this obsession with trying to figure out what my sexuality is. I don’t really want to date anyone, I’ve been okay with this for over a year, and it’s not like I’ve been completely detached from the lgtbqia community. Like, I know lesbians and other wlw and for a long time I thought I was like bi (I think I’m honestly more aro than I realized), and I haven’t thought much, but ever since I realized I don’t want to share my future with anyone it’s like my brain is screeeeaming that this just means I’m a lesbian, when that’s never been a thought that crossed my mind. It’s definitely been better for me lately when I started cutting out compulsions and all that, but I’m still undiagnosed and I don’t know for sure what exactly is happening to me. If I was a lesbian I’d accept myself, but it’s the fact that it feels SO BAD when I think about it that makes me feel like I need to figure it out even more. Like is it anxiety because I don’t like it or anxiety because it’s like internalized homophobia? And it’s like omg I need to figure it out otherwise I’m just living a lie and I won’t ever be happy. I’ll get flashes of anxiety when I’m just watching a movie or a YouTube video about a boy band I like... and it throws things from the lesbian masterdoc in my face about how I had crushes on fictional characters and celebrities and how that’s something that lesbians do because it’s ‘safer’ to crush on unobtainable men. And it just feels bad bc I know I’ve had crushes on guys that were my friends too but I also have a lot of trauma and I wasn’t allowed to date growing up so that’s what I did to actually explore romance. When the anxiety spikes it makes me feel as if it was all a sign. What’s worse is that I started looking to aromanticism before I read the doc and there’s this bit about how some lesbians think they’re aro bc they don’t like men but never explore their attraction to women either and it’s like ahhhh what’s the truth. I don’t know anymore. Not thinking about it makes me antsy, & the second my anxiety spikes it’s hard to do anything during the rest of the day. I don’t want to think about falling in love and having relationships, I miss when I was just living life in the moment. I miss not thinking twice about when I found a guy attractive, or even a girl. Like it just makes my brain hurt so bad.

i feel like the worst person in the world. im not asking for reassurance, but im sure people can relate. this shit is so hard.

Can someone give me advice on how to discern whether I find children attractive or not?