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ive been having a hard week or two ive been triggered a lot lately i also let my erps slip my pocd has been getting really bad i thought i was getting better to the point where i even was like maybe im making this up and was wishing for bad thoughts just to make me at ease that i have ocd and the ocd is real but now im having them and i regret that wish... this sucks whats worse is sometimes it feels so real i was watching a show and didnt realize one of the people in it is a p*** and one of my biggest triggers i guess is that ive been alone my whole life no relationship history and this person hadnt either and the similarities are what make me feel that i am i turned it off once he was saying these things about liking who he is god god god i just i really dont want to be that i hope im not that i want reassurance and i know i wont get it my current erp is to listen to a recording of me saying maybe im a p*** and i should be listening to it 4 times a week but ive been slipping to once a week that is only my 9 on my hierarchy when i get to my 10 i have to read articles about people who are p***s next and i dont want to do that i think for me the biggest triggers arent really even young people its people who are definitely p***s and then if i find any similarities in us i freak the fuck out and i guess i do that with anyone psychopaths, lesbians, anything i dont want to be but could be if i find enough similarities if there are similarities and i guess also im constantly looking for explenation to being 28 years old and alone with no relationship history my brain is constantly looking for answers but the answers are always scary and freak me out is anyone else this way or ever feel this way i feel like a freak if anyone knew what was in my head id be locked up my therapist knows whats in my head but we never really go into detail like sometimes im worried like if she knew this thought she wouldnt help me anymore sometimes i think i make up that its ocd to relieve me of guilt i was getting so good at accepting uncertainty too and my exercises were becoming easier but its just i mean i feel like thats a normal thing no one wants to listen to a tape of them saying to themselves maybe they are a p*** like since my intrusive thoughts had lessened and my mood was better i thought okay yeah i feel better i dont need to do these much anymore i just feel like a failure and a fraud and scared ... its not the worst ive ever felt but its definitely reminding me of bad times where ive been at my worst ... also im pretty good at didtracting myself from things and so if i stay busy im better and if im not im worse i feel the need to want to confess on here and to my therapist but i know i shouldnt but i just feel like an evil person i feel evil and i want reassurance i want relief

Just read about the different types of empathy and I feel so anxious. I’m worried that I only ever use cognitive empathy (when you simply imagine how they feel - this is quite easy to do). Like I’m good at understanding emotions but now I’m scared I don’t FEEL those other emotions. Even though I think I do. It’s so distressing. I know I have emotional and compassionate empathy too as I often feel sorry for people and often cry in movies. If someone was being bullied, I would feel for them and try to help. I’ve always supported the underdog. And in films I tend to cry more when someone else is also crying. But my OCD won’t buy it. Like sometimes when I help people, I’m just using cognitive empathy and I’m scared that’s really bad of me for not feeling what they feel. This could be because I often help people online and not irl so it’s harder to see their facial expressions. But still. I’m just really scared that I don’t have emotional empathy but I think I do. I worry that’s not true though.

nsfw: my hocd is telling me that because i watched lesbian porn and liked it that it means i’m bi and because i said i wouldn’t mind trying it out with a woman for fun it also means i’m bi. i feel so alone and this genuinely sucks.

I just put my hand round my wrist and the coolness felt really nice and my wrist felt nice in my hand....then my mind goes puts the image of a little kids wrist into my mind because my wrists are very thin. I hate this. Anyone else get this ? I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance but this really freaked me out

Hello! Lately I've been experiencing weird about myself. I think I switch to another theme but I am not really sure. Whenever I talked to someone. I started to observed how I talked and wonder how can I automatically reply and give a speech to the person who I am talking with without using my comprehension. Sometimes everytime I noticed that I tend to stop in the middle of my speech because I feel like my head is empty and wonder how can I talk like that without using my brain. Sometimes It feels like I am just watching my own self talking to people and wonder how can I possibly create those words that come out to my mouth without comprehending it first. I dont know if it is nonsense to others but it bothers me. It is what you call somatic ocd?. (sorry for my grammar I am not english speaker) I hope you can still understand. Please help me how to deal with this.

Hey guys, I've been staying with my parents since March (I'm in my mid 20s) because the virus derailed and paused my grad school plans. I used to struggle with severe contamination ocd, which had eased significantly for a while with medication and therapy, but it has come back full force because of COVID. I think COVID has helped me justify my ocd to myself and left me unable to tell what is considered taking normal precautions and what is excessive and unhealthy. My biggest fear is getting my parents sick. I have not seen anyone besides my parents and doctors (for separate medical reasons) in person since March, and this has deeply impacted my mental health. I want to meet with friends outdoors with masks, but I fear it will cause unbearable anxiety and I won't want to come home, or I'll sit in my room for two weeks wearing a mask and avoiding my parents. I don't know how to stop this feeling, and I see no end in sight until I'm able to move out of my parents' house. Anyone have any solidarity or advice?

What if I’m just questioning my sexuality and dont have hocd?

hi, i’m a hocd sufferer and today i have just given in, and said i am bi. and however much i want to say it has helped it hasn’t. it doesn’t feel correct, i don’t feel comfortable with it and it just doesn’t feel natural. and i feel more upset about it now i have given myself this label. me being straight feels correct but i can’t get these thoughts out of my head and it brings me so much pain and discomfort. i don’t know what to do with myself, i thought just going along with it and saying i’m bi would make it feel better but it hasn’t.

Your dreams are the biggest ERP ever . How you respond to it determines everything. 😁

How to deal with anxiety over future? I wanna stay in present but Idk how. I keep worrying about not having a job or not making money and this stops me from living in the present and trying to do something. I am scared and hopeless. I have posted this many times, sorry for bothering.

Today has been horrendous and I just need help

CAN SOMEONE RESPOND THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT: has any other straight girl experimented or touched the same sex before hocd? i did and regret it. i did enjoy it and i read texts where i asked my friend after i did that like the class period after i had touched her i was like “i think i have sexual attraction to girls but i think i’m straight but just like messing around with girls” and it freaked me out reading that after a whole year has passed. if i was bi because i was questioning before i think that moment would’ve been like an “a-ha!” moment and would’ve been conclusive to me but i just questioned it and never touched her again.

Does anyone fear someone will make fun of their religion or values and that will cause them to go the opposite direction because that is what I fear most rn

Maybe obsessing has taken over my life... 😞 I’m losing my job soon and feel like I am gonna lose my partner too... 😞 every day I feel like a lier... I’ve obsessed about being sexually attracted to other men and if I am still sexually attracted to my partner still.. then I remembered I obsessed about this before but I was still able to have sex with him... 😞 I obsess saying I need to tell him the truth... when I am... but then I obsess if I am forcing myself to love him... I know I love him a lot. But why can’t my relationship go back to normal again... I am so depressed I can’t take it.. right now I feel like I wanna die... my life is turning into crap! 😞 tried of hearing Everything happens for a reason... or do what you know... I’ve imagined cutting my wrist before... or my rocking back and fourth with my hands on my head seeing my thoughts attack me... my partner is perfect for me. Even typing that I feel like I am in denial... 😞 I just wanna die right now... I hate my life.. I have such a caring partner and yet I feel this way...

i read an article earlier on and it said you should definitely not try erp by yourself and you need an ocd specialist to do erp. i don’t have access to one, so should i not do it?

This is so mentally exhausting and feels so real 🤦🏽‍♂️

My daughter does weird stuff to prove to herself in her head that she is gay. She pretends like when she grows up she will wear a tuxedo at the wedding, and then winks in the mirror pretending like She is talking to another girl. I don’t Know- If I keep Letting her do these things. She said today she saw a movie poster on netflix and it had two girls kissing . She said she “wanted to be in that situation” and then that gave her anxiety. Is this all NormaL HOCD?

is there some thing wrong with me? i’m a straight girl with hocd. and i don’t know if this is normal: every since i got it i literally haven’t been able to watch any sort of porn without ruminating about what i watch after. but i can’t watch straight porn anymore because i get all theses intrusive thoughts that are based off of what complaining women who can’t tell their partners that they aren’t satirised with their sex life so they instead bitch about it online...and it’s really fucked with me. when i watch it i think “he’s not pleasing her” “he’s hurting her” “she’s just faking it” but then if i imagine the couple being two guys i’m able to get off to it better. or just gay porn in general. i guess i just assume that they understand each other psychologically i dunno, that must be a reason why i was les porn sometimes but i do have a liking towards gay porn. what i’m getting at is, before hocd i never analysed my poem habits. like it didn’t matter i’d watch what i wanted and it meant nothing, it was just something that helped me sleep better. but now, since hocd has made me question everything about men and how they can’t please women, according to women on twitter, it’s really messed with me psychologically. im so scared that i’ll never be able to be aroused properly by men in the future. i’m scared that i’ll have a horrible sex life. i’m scared that i won’t feel pleasure because a lot of girls talk about how they don’t feel anything and a lot of guys talk about how complicated it is to please a woman. i just feel like a robot. like what’s complicated about my pleasure and why do girls always bitch about their boyfriends not pleasing them when they can just tell him straight up. it’s really messing with me. it’s like ever tweet i’ve read on twitter has turned into an intrusive thought and i now i can’t feel fully satisfied with porn unless it’s gay porn or maybe les porn but not preferably. i feel like this made no sense but someone please help me to understand my mind. i’m not asking for reassurance or anything. i’m just a teen girl who wants some advice and answers and understanding on my psychology. thanks you :)

Who else with hocd is obsessed with relationships and “proving” to the world that they are straight? Since my hocd started , my all consuming focus was on relationships, as a means to get rid of my hocd. But then, ROCD kicked in and I ended up hopeless. Will it ever end?

I really don’t know if this is common or not but I’m too scared to google it. Basically I’m quite introverted and scared of judgement etc. Being the centre of attention is scary. But at the same time, I crave attention and validation a lot. Like in class, for example, I WANT to be picked on when I have a good answer because I will feel validated. But it’s also very scary having everyone look at me. And I just don’t know. Like I’m shy and awkward but also I like it when people notice and perceive me (if it’s not in a terrible way). It makes me so anxious though and makes me feel vain. It’s easy to tell myself to stop caring about what people think, but it’s hard to practise that without still ‘craving validation’ as such.