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When I was little I bullied someone and I can’t seem to find the person I bullied so I asked my old baby sitter to see if she knows her mother or her name still haven’t recieved a response. But I’m just feeling bad because what if she committed suicide because I bullied her I know they’re just what ifs but thinking about it just scares me so much I’ve had about two panic attacks over this.
my biggest fear is what if i don't actually have ocd and get exposed as a fraud. im afraid i might have been living a lie the whole time. i keep thinking that im not as ill as others here. i feel like i don't deserve attention, it's like im unconsciously invalidating myself all the time and j can't help but think that im an impostor in disguise. that im just doing this for attention. that i just want to be mentally ill to feel like i fit in somewhere. when i show a new ocd symptom im afraid that oh im probably just copying something that i saw off this app here because i want to feel like i truly do have ocd. i know i most likely have it but im so stuck in this loop of doubt. my ocd isn't as severe as it was in the beginning so that makes me feel even more invalid and i have developed impostor syndrome over the years.
After months upon months of suffering, confusion and deep distress, I can finally say that I am coming to the end of my battle. I avoided ERP for a long while in the fears that it would prove my my obsessions to be true and that I would come out worse off than I was prior. Accepting that I was only going to end the suffering by facing the fear was the first step to recovery. I did in fact feel worse before I felt better. I had to face things that I had spent so much time avoiding. Once you open your eyes to your fears and force yourself to confront them in the most aggressive way you probably ever have up until that point, you finally can loosen your grip and set yourself free. I felt so comfortable with my compulsions that I had practically adapted to them. It was a reflex to my anxiety by the time I entered ERP. To resist that reflex felt like standing rigid with your eyes open when there’s an object flying towards your face - in other words, it felt impossible (at first at least!). There’s various hurdles that you get over. The first one being the biggest and most challenging one, but they gradually get smaller and smaller. You start off with something that isn’t going to cause you mass amounts of anxiety, but is still going to elicit an anxiety response - you then work your way up through developmental progression until you reach the metaphorical ‘boss level’ - you’ve built up a tool kit and the fear response swiftly gets smaller and smaller and smaller. I strongly encourage all of you to access an ERP therapist and start your ERP journey now. Surviving is not living. Living (you’ll soon find out) is not surviving.
Is getting sexually aroused by certain sounds an OCD thing? Like after I had intrusive thoughts abt a family member, whoever they breathe I have to leave the room bc I have a groinal response. And with another family member i always feel the need to pull their shirt down when their stomach is exposed.
Does anyone have any advice for what to do when OCD symptoms are not prevalent? I am coming out of a week of pretty intense ROCD/HOCD thoughts coupled with some severe depression just yesterday morning. I persisted through it all and now I finally feel at ease and clear minded. These reprieves usually come after a strong OCD cycle. I feel almost completely normal and when I think about how much time I spent anxious and ruminating it finally feels foreign. I truly cherish these periods and typically just enjoy them while attempting to not think about my OCD for as long as possible. Is there anything I should be doing during this time to prepare/educate myself in anticipation for the next inevitable cycle of OCD? Does anyone have any tips they can share of what they do to make the most of their limited time free of symptoms? I appreciate anyone taking the time to read this post and respond.
Please help So I recently started having sex with this guy and I am like really into it but I am not feeling super turned on physically and I am freaking out that this means I am not attracted to him and in denial. Is this normal?
I have been scared of one of my friend what if I like her, this thought has been there from October and I have avoided her so much that my fear has just peaked next level. When I open Instagram my mind goes like oh u are excited to see her stories aren't u but it the most difficult task to do but I try not to compulse. If she hasn't posted I am filled with relief but then my mind say of aren't you disappointed. I don't even know if these are intrusive thoughts anymore, when I want to post something my mind goes like she is gonna see it and then I don't want to post it. Just now I posted a reel on my story even though mind was screaming horrible things and I looked at it after sometime I realised the audio wasn't available so I was like that sucks people must have seen it without any audio and I was like let's delete this not of any use and then my mind was like (I don't clearly remember what my mind said cuz it was sour of the moment) but it was something about her and then the next story slide came and i saw this seen Icon and her picture popped up and like in that 3second moment my anxiety raised so much I could feel the pins the on my back and hot and cold flash and heart rare went blasting the roof and all this time my mind was aren't you embarrassedd i think the anxiety rose because I had the thought and then suddenly her picture popped up. We used to be bestfriends but cuz of my thoughts I started to avoid her and at this point I don't even want her in my life, for dear life of God I can avoid her forever but I know that will only make the thoughts worse like it has now, I have been trying to avoid doing compuslions, i try post on story in form of doing ERP as my thoughts go like and oh she's gonna see it u are putting this for her , so I have been putting on stories while the thoughts keep popping up. But like u know I have started to hate her because she kind of took my close friends away maybe not intentionally but she did and I became anti social because of my ocd and that just makes me not want to talk to her and plus talking to her gives me anxiety. I at this point don't even know if these are intrusive thoughts like who has these type of intrusive thoughts but I just so hope that they are intrusive thoughts cuz I don't want to like her in a romantic way ever. I may have started hating her because of my thoughts too because like u know as having damaged thinking might have led my brain to only know the opposite of like that is hate, but like she scares the shit out of me. I swore that no matter how many stupid thoughts my mind produces for any other friend of mine like this I will not avoid them like I did her because that will only lead me into a shit hole. But these thoughts they give me anxiety like the ones when I open instagram are these intrusive thoughts.And my mind uses this against me what if u aren't afraid of ur other friends and u are of her means somethingut it's not like I don't have intrusive thoughts about my other friends, I have but I keep in mind not to make the same mistake as I dod in her case because back when he thoughts started to pop up I didn't even know there was something known as HOCDAnd she scares the shit out of me
I’m straight but get turned on by lesbian porn and sexual orientation ocd is going off the chart. I used it as a form of compulsion to see if I’d get turned on by it and it has just led me to serious confusion and it’s just uncomfortable
It’s been 5 minutes since I’ve been forcing myself to not look up pregnancy symptoms. It’s hard. I don’t understand why I can’t just trust my iud, condoms and myself for being careful.
Can someone please help me! It's been more than a month or so but for some reason I'm extremely triggered by the words "IN DENIAL" "DENYING" "DENY" etc. And since the time that I've been triggered by them...it seems like I'm coming across them more often than ever . I can't help but think that it says something about me . That it is some sort of message or signal from the universe or God that I'm in denial and I should just accept that I'm a lesbian. Does anyone feel like this too?
I'm always afraid and nervous to go to sleep because I'm scared of ocd nightmares. At least in waking hours I can choose what I'm exposed to and can avoid triggers if I please. I can't do that in my sleep. Anybody have ideas to feel less afraid?
CAN SOMEONE HELP ME I’m having a very very tough night. A movie I’m watching has a lot of sexual scenes. And this one I’m watching had a porno movie where a man was slowly removing a woman’s underwear and I got super turned on and for some reason in that moment I thought oh I want to see her vagina and now I’m freaking out that that’s why I was so aroused like I wouldn’t feel that way with a man. I’m so afraid.
Sigh ever feel like yup im straight and u know deep down u are but then all of a sudden you get this doubt of but what if you arent or what if. But then you remember its just thoughts but then more doubt.
success stories welcome, please i’m so hopeless about the future. i’m going to be seeing an ERP therapist soon, I have a hypnotherapist right now, and i’m starting medication today, but i’m so terrified none of it will work. i can’t keep living like this where every day is so impossibly hard. please, any encouragement or success stories very welcome
ive always wanted to become a psychologist or work in the mental health field because im passionate about learning how humans work, psychoanalysis and i have a fair share of savior complex but... ocd hit me in the face. im too weak and vulnerable to have a job of such status im literally mentally ill and hypersensitive. who would want advice and mental help from a messy bitch with mental illness. ive always enjoyed reading about mental conditions and human behaviors, but now it's just triggering because i start thinking "oh what if i develop this severe disorder" or my biggest one "im afraid im a narcissist". this was my only dream and passion i had faith in and now im losing it. im not capable of achieving my only dream because of circumstances.
Does anyone know if there are any ocd specialist who work with clients worldwide? I‘m from Germany and I‘ve been in therapy for about a year now. It is does help to some degree however I don’t feel like making significant progress. My therapist also doesn’t use erp and tells me „thoughts are just thoughts“ which doesn’t really help me when I‘m in a bad place. It is hard to find help for this subtype where I live and I‘m honestly sick of living like this and falling back into dark holes everytime I get triggered.
if i imagine a family member dying and feel like the pain would be unimaginable that means i really care about them right??
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OCD doesn't have to
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