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the NOCD Community

ROCD is the worst. whenever my boyfriend and i try to make plans even just like a week out, my thoughts say “well what if you’re not even together then” and it’s so awful cause i know we will be but my thoughts just scare me so bad.

I think I’ve been misdiagnosed. I went to go and get an assessment done with a therapist because I’ve been stuffering from sexual intrusive thoughts and anxiety for about 10 months now. He gave me a few questionnaires to answer and then he said he doesn’t think I have ocd but he thinks I may have clinical depression. I’ve told him that I have these thoughts all day everyday and they make me anxious and miserable but he still doesn’t think I have ocd. Maybe it’s because I don’t have any physical compulsions and I don’t want to argue or doubt a professional but I really think this is more than just depression. I’m not sure what to do now and it’s scaring me because a if a professional says I don’t have ocd then maybe this really isn’t ocd and I am acually the monster the thoughts make me feel I am.

Anyone with HOCD that can give advice on what phrases you tell yourself when you’re having the thoughts?

can someone with rocd talk please?

What do I do with a fear of being in a denial and not having OCD? Anyone has similar experience, maybe you know how to cope?

Does anyone have any advice on getting over a groinal response to a disgusting picture of porn in the past. It happened a couple of months ago and I cannot forgive myself AT ALL, but I would like for me to sort of forget about it. Or not let it bother me as much, without forgiving myself. Because I don’t feel like I deserve to forgive myself but I would like for it to not bother me so much.

16+ (I think) I worry constantly that I don’t feel the same levels of arousal as other people, I see on tiktok all the time girls describing they’re vagina feeling like a heart is beating down their when they’re aroused, however I don’t think I’ve ever really felt that?? I then of course start to worry I’m gay/ asexual :( i never know if people over exaggerate when describing arousal and crushes online and it freaks me out

Hey another day, another crisis😏. The story is a bit complicated, so I’ll try to keep it short and simple. Basically my best friend has been hooking up/ hanging out with this guy who is a manager at our job. We are all around the same age, he’s just a young manager. Anyways once she told me they started to have a fling again, (because this has happened a couple months ago in the past), I got extremely upset. She told me and I was just really disappointed in her because this guy isn’t a good person, plus he’s our manager which makes it worse. When I tried to discuss it with her she just kept saying “it’s okay, we don’t know what the future holds, we’ll see what happens”, although this is extremely unlike her because she also has ocd and is always extremely precise and overthinking about everything. Anyways it’s been a few days, and I’m still really distraught. I want to just not care, but something isn’t allowing me to just move on. Keep in mind about a year ago I had an ex best friend who got a boyfriend and completely pushed me out of her life. I’ve been through this before, and I think internally I’m scared of getting hurt again. Not to mention my best friend is literally my support system. I realized I depend on her for most things in my life, since I have a not good relationship with my family. Her getting a boyfriend feels like she’s cheating on me in a way, which sounds absolutely ridiculous, but in reality she is my person. I wouldn’t be able to like survive without her. So I’ve been feeling this feeling of dread mixed with anger and just like crying a lot. I hate feeling like this and I want to get myself together, I just don’t know how. My ocd makes me obsess over it, and now I’m getting intrusive thoughts. What if I get so angry I go on a rampage and hurt the guy? That also sounds completely and absolutely ridiculous but Im scared I’ll want to hurt someone. I’m usually not an angry person, but now I’m convinced I’m turning crazy or something. Not to mention I started worrying about my future. To be honest I don’t think of having a boyfriend right now or really like anyone in general. I’m confused about my sexuality, because most men give me the ick. So I’m thinking about the future and imagining all my friends getting boyfriends and them caring about them more than they do me, and making me their 2nd choice for when they aren’t busy with their boyfriends. Again I realize this sounds really dumb, but I keep imagining it in my head and It’s not very fun. It makes me think I’m some crazy person who depends on my friends caring about me enough or else I’ll have a whole breakdown. Anyways it felt good to write that out. I think like any other ocd “episode” I’ve had, it’ll get better eventually, and for now I need to work on being more self dependent, and work on my self esteem.

Any tips to know when you should bring a problem up to your partner vs when to leave it because it’s an ROCD thought, I’ve been feeling last couple days like my partner isn’t giving me attention/being off and not making as much effort but I don’t want to bring it up if it’s just ROCD

Confession Compulsion? Saw my boyfriend liked a skimpy bikini photo of an (assumed) ex-match on IG a few weeks ago and a lot of people have been telling me it's nothing and it's just a like and I actually believe that too. Aside from that, my boyfriend has been nothing but good to me and understanding. Has also helped me contain my confession compulsion in a way. But lately it's like this girl has been an obsessive thought and it's like I NEED to tell my boyfriend what I saw??? even though I don't want to cause it might risk our relationship over something small and I sound crazy + to get reassurance??? but he gives me reassurance everyday too. I just need to know if its something I gotta address (but I really don't want to tell him like even my mom told me it's not worth it. it's such a small thing. It probably passed his feed and he tapped liked and moved on) but my brain is like but gotta! u have to!! he deserves to know whats bothering u!!! but if i do it'll probably move on to another obsessive thought, possibly another girl. (I was obsessing over his ex fling before this girl til he cleared it up to me multiple times and I got the reassurance I needed)

tw: racist intrusive themes This is particularly long so thank you in advance for reading. I just want to preface this with a few things. Firstly, I am a black girl so my perspective on the matter is personal. Secondly, the person under fire is a non-black person. These two facts are very important. So I was scrolling through instagram when a post from a page I know well appeared on my timeline. This page tends to talk about several pressing social issues and often show cases other people’s tik toks/posts and while providing their opinion about the subject at hand. Typically I agree with a lot of their views but something about this particular post of theirs did not sit right with me. The person they decided to show case on their page today was a non-black girl who was sharing one of her intrusive thoughts. The thought in question was “shout the N word”. I’m assuming the girls intention behind sharing this intrusive thought was to make other people who suffer with similar themes feel seen. However it seems like the overwhelming majority, including the page, agreed that this particular intrusive thought was inappropriate to share because of its racist nature and that the girl should’ve “ kept it to herself” ( a phrase ive seen used many times through out the comment section). Some going as far as to say that this was not an intrusive thought but rather a justification for racist ideation. Essentially accusing her of “normalizing” the racist nature of her theme. I believe these statements are really damaging and cruel. People were confirming her inner most insecurities. They literally validated her intrusive thoughts by saying that they do indeed prove that she is racist. I couldn’t help but feel sad. What made it worse is that others were saying things along the lines of “my intrusive thought is * insert violent act here*....not racism” As if violent thoughts about hurting others are somehow more acceptable to share than thoughts about shouting offensive things. Intrusive thoughts are any thoughts that you have that you do not want or can’t control. Most intrusive thoughts are awful, that’s what makes it intrusive. I just couldn’t see why this particular awful thing was somehow more damning than the others. I just wanted to see what people think about this. Am I being tone deaf in this situation? I can’t tell if I’m missing something here.

Today was a horrible day... I got falsely accused of racism by a random stranger the first thing in the morning. I got yelled at by people on the discord community for it. I didn’t win the draw for the shoes I wanted to make money for. The girl I like hasn’t been responding to my DM’s, and my HOCD and POCD feel so real and it makes me feel like I’m in denial constantly with the intrusive thoughts... it feels so tempting to just give up and die...

At this point, I'm fairly confident in my ability to overcome most of my triggers but the loss of attraction has done permanent damage that I seriously doubt can be fixed at this point. And its its currently the biggest source of my ruminating.

I did my erp today and I felt pretty good about it! Afterwords I was scrolling through social media and a video of a male working out pops up, I don’t feel attracted to their bodies or I’m not like in awe of it. This caused me major anxiety and thoughts of how I think women’s bodies are better than men’s and part of me even agrees that they are more aesthetically pleasing so this is where it’s really attacking me.. then it throws in how I’m more physically and sexually attracted to woman, etc etc. It just tries to come at me with thoughts to get me down again, making me believe I’m actually a lesbian like others who realized they were and harder to believe it’s ocd :/ At least I can work on this fear too and keep trying with erp and stopping my mental compulsions

Tw: Anyone out there go through Suicidal ocd ERP? Mind mentioning some of your erp that you did with an ocd therapist ?! Anyone out there who has suicidal ocd have tips for dealing with intrusive thoughts ?

Can I ask for prayer? I had a real event OCD and I am not getting completely over it.....I don't know if I am being a perfectionist or what......what I did is hard to explain....with all of what's going on I am on the suicidal side. I feel like I need to talk to a therapist soon....even my old one that is not completely trained in OCD(but not sure if it's a good idea).....I have an appointment the 15th of April...it is hard to wait that long....I am so confused on what I did...what it means....how bad it is, etc....I don't want to trigger others but I am sure some would think what I did was shameful but one person said it wasn't really bad at all.....I have talked about it so much...I can't stand that it happened--I need Gods help.....I am scared God is mad at me.....I have had a ridiculous time w/OCD this last year----

Hello. I’m new to this app, and I just wanted to put my story out there so maybe someone can relate. I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 8. It always has changed throughout the years, but most recently it is kind of revolving around praying. I have never been super religious, but about 7 years ago I started a prayer that I started saying daily and if I messed up or said something wrong or “didn’t feel right” then I would have to start over. I feel like now, if I don’t do it, then something bad will happen and I just don’t feel right. I feel like since it’s been a daily ritual for almost a decade, I can’t not do it without getting anxious. I have lots of other obsessions and compulsions but this one is causing me the most distress. Can anyone else relate?

Anyone with existential OCD suddenly get derealization/dissociation when they’re thoughts start racing and their brain keeps telling them nothing is real and it gets so bad that they’re afraid they’re starting to believe it? When the episodes hit I can’t find anything that keeps me grounded and all I can think is what if nothing around me is real? And then I freak out.

My thoughts keep telling me “I’m unhappy in my relationship” and it’s so hard because I am unhappy in general but only since the OCD flare up so how do I know if I’m unhappy in the relationship or if I’m unhappy because my OCD is making me depressed??? Then me n my partner had an argument which has triggered my intrusive thoughts even more making me think they’re true

You guys got this! You are not your thoughts! Something helpful I got from “Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts” was that when an intrusive thought pops into your head, label it. Say “this is an intrusive thought.” It helps to separate you from the thoughts. Good luck guys! I can post more tips from the book below if you’re interested