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i’ve been feeling so anxious lately. i think my rocd is back but this time it’s worse because since my boyfriend cheated, it’s given my ocd an excuse to be like “see he’s a horrible boyfriend u need to leave him” and it’s just been eating me up alive. i don’t want to leave him, i know i made the right decision by staying. i can’t imagine my life without him and i never want to share this love with anyone else. but my ocd keeps telling me i can’t let things go back to normal bc he cheated. me and him are also moving in together in a couple months so, everytime i get excited about that and try to picture our lives together, it’s like my ocd literally puts a mind block on me and i can’t enjoy even day dreaming about him like i used to. i was fine like a week ago, but the absence of feelings towards him is scaring me so badly. this isn’t the first time it’s happened, this is pretty standard for me. the only thing that’s different is that he cheated and again, my ocd is having a wonderful time using that as a reason for me not to love him. bc ive had rocd for so long, my physical anxiety is so low and so im always falling for the back door spike. i keep thinking me not being anxious is a sign that i don’t love him. so i keep trying to make my self anxious. i can’t even let my self cry bc i’m scared it’s gonna lead me to want to break up with him. everytime he sends me a sweet text, the only thing i feel is anxious bc my ocd keeps wanting me to “feel love” towards him but all i feel is anxious. i’m so so miserable and i keep checking to see if this is even ocd. i think it is because it’s so distressing to me but i’m also doing compulsions like checking my feelings, replaying all the time in my head where i did feel love towards him to reassure my self, avoiding crying bc im afraid it’s gonna make me want to leave him, trying to induce anxiety so i know this is egodystonic, repeating to my self over and over that if others can get over their partner cheating then i can too, trying to calm my self down by reminding my self that i’ve done some stupid stuff too, trying to feel love towards him when we’re on the phone, etc. and even though i can list all of these compulsions, my ocd still thinks it’s not enough and that’s it’s not ocd. i don’t know what to do i’m literally so miserable i feel so anxious all the time. and usually, for some reason i’ll reassure my self in the evening and i’ll be good for the rest of the night but today that didn’t happen and now i’m freaking out about that too. i don’t want to leave my boyfriend i love him so damn much (typing this out rn, my ocd is telling me i’m lying) and i want to heal past this thing that happened between us bc others have so why can’t i? but my ocd is making this so hard. i’m hoping it’s just because my period is about to come and my ocd usually spikes really bad when that happens because like i said, i was completely and utterly fine a couple days ago. i’m so so scared

I feel I've become numb to everything. My anxiety fluctuates but the thoughts, the ERP, the loss of attraction. I feel very numb. Why do I have to go through this fucking shit? I just wanna get back to chasing women and chilling out. I do neither because of this bullshit. That's what it all is. Its bullshit. Fuck OCD, Pure O, HOCD, ROCD, SO-OCD!!! Fuck this bullshit!!!

Has anyone taken Zoloft and had it not work or make things worse? I also suffer from anxiety and depression before getting diagnosed with OCD. I am currently on 50mg and feel terrible almost 30 days on it with no good change but it feels like it's making everything worse?! Going to switch I can't do it anymore and the nonstop sweating!

Annoyed, numb and extremely depressed.

If I live with uncertainty will the true answer reveal itself in the end?

If i sit a certain way-Am I gay If I stand a certain way-Am I gay If I lay a certain way-Am I gay If I dress a certain way-Am I gay Note: In not asking for reassurance nor am I asking if im gay. Just stating the things I go through every day.

I’m in scary spot right now I made an appointment for a physciatriat because my therapist said itd be best Idk what to do anymore I don’t wanna go to work anymore no reassurance is working anymore I feel hopeless like there’s no way out I know I’m not what pocd says and what hocd says but I just feel trapped and like stuck in this muddy hole I feel like the only way out is death and that scares me so bad I keep imagining someone finding me dead and that scared me even more I’m afraid of all that suicide stuff I just wanna know if anyone out there can relate I’m so depressed and feel hopeless

is anyone in the same position as me?? I’ve 100% felt sexual attraction to both men and women but there’s just a part of me that’s so convinced I’m gay even though I’ve felt attracted to men so many times. I always hear people talk about being exclusively straight or gay with HOCD, but does anyone else exist on the bi spectrum who also has HOCD?

What is y’all’s relationship with alcohol and ocd? I’m finding it difficult because I’m at university so I love to drink socially but I always feel so anxious the next day. Any tips?

Hello. I just wanted to know of this can happend. Days before I had an intrusive scene in my mind, but I didn't have anxiety in the moment, and the scene was too detail and I even put it sound, and I had a very strong grional reacton. After that I feel bad for thinking the image, but I tell myself that it was the ocd, but I'm afraid that this is not ocd anymore and that I'm starting to like this. Everytime I review the scene I got a grional reacton, like I am turn on. I don't want to think that my ocd is helping me develop the p3d0 disorder. And I don't know why I let the scene happend, and why I give it too much detail if I didn't have anxiety. I want to move on and forget this, but I'm afraid that I actually take pleasure on this. I want to tell myself that the image was too sexual, and because of that I had a really strong grional reaction, and I put it sound because I was thinking about putting sound, and I allowed it to happend. This scene involve a family member, and I'm afraid that I'm the type of p3d0 that likes incest. This just happend one time, but I'm really afraid. Yesterday I convince myself for a long period of time that I was a p3d0, I even imagine me seeking help for that, but then I read in Wikipedia about the p3d0 disorder, and I freak out. I feel like I neve going to be cure of this, and then I thinked better, and realize that it would it mean that I imagined the images and scenes on purpose and I don't want to think that. Now I'm thinking that I'm coming back into thinking that I have ocd just to not make myself responsible for the images that I imagined. I really want to get better and never think of this images again, but this is making me believe that I am what I fear. I don't want to think of possibility that I like this scene. I don't know if some of you had ever experience this. I would like to know If is possible to thinking this without anxiety.

This doesnt feel like hocd anymore. Can anyone give advice 😞

Just had an erp therapy session. I didn’t feel very triggered at all to the exposures, granted they were low exposures for me anyway (haven’t got to high ones yet), however now I’m panicking a bit about why I’m not being really triggered. Is it because I’m getting better and little triggers don’t bother me anymore? I’m worried my therapist doesn’t think I have ocd :((

Is anyone available to talk who got pocd because of their past like childhood experimentation

Hocd sufferers out there ?

I hate this, I hate to feel like I’m turning evil. Like when I’m with my family I feel like I could go and hurt them, I don’t want to but I feel like I did. Or like it’s gonna take over me. I feel like I could go and do it, or sometimes I question myself: are u gonna do it or not? I feel like I’m really turning into a serial killer. I feel like this monster inside my mind is trying to make me act on my thoughts. I hate this I can’t handle it. I feel like in any second this will completely change me and make me m*rder someone and will take over me. It seems like it doesn’t matter if I don’t want to, I feel like it could still happen any second, I feel like I have a monster inside me, that’s convincing me to act on my thoughts and that’s taking over me. I feel so overwhelmed, because I feel like I don’t want it to happen but it’s gonna happen anyway. This monster inside me wants it to happen and could make it happen no matter if I don’t want to. Can’t even tell if this is harm OCD anymore, doesn’t feel like it.

Anyone on here pregnant and do ERP?

I'm sorry for eveything I did. I swear to never hurt anyone and that I didn't hurt anyone in the past. I swear to try to do the good thing. I don't want to be a monster, but I almost sure everything is me, and I hate it. I just want god to forgive me, and take care of my parents. I hate myself so much. The guilt is overwhelming, but is a price I going to pay. I know for sure I'm going to hell and I deserve it. I'm not afraid of hell or going to jail. I just don't want my parents to ever know what I imagine. I'm going to continue living for them, but I don't want to. I'm going to do everything in my willpower to stop having this images, and scenes. I'm sorry for eveything I did. I just want to pretend that this month never happen, but I can't. I'm sorry to my family for making myself this after everything they do for me. And I'm sorry to the people here for looking to an excuse for imagine the things that I imagine. I still hoping that this is just ocd, but honestly I don't believe it anymore. I will look for therapy when I had the money and make this sensations go away, and I hope that the images/scenes can also go away. I swear to never have children, and never look to them on purpose. I never wanted this to happen. Sorry again for eveything. I hope the people here can be cure and be happy. You all deserve it because you don't do anything wrong. Everything you think you do was in your head. You are not your thoughts. I think I'm just writing this to make me feel better, and that is selfish because I don't deserve it. I'm sorry for that too. I'm going to make myself accountable for eveything I did and imagine. I still feel bad because my family believe in me. And I made myself this. I hope that one day I can be normal. I'm so sorry again, I really do. I just want to take this out of my chest. If it were up to me I would kill myself, but I can do that to my family, and I don't know if I would have the guts to kill me. I never meant to this to happen. I don't deserve the things that I have and I know. And sorry for making myself look like the victim, when the reality is that I'm not. Everything that happend was my fault, and I make the decisions myself when I knew that was bad. I'm still hoping that this is just ocd, but I know tha it is not. I'm not a victim, I'm a bad person and I'm going to live with the guilt. Thats my punishment for the things that I did. For the people with ocd, you are not like me. You don't want that images and scenes. You are afraid of this, you don't feel pleasure for that, you are good. You would never hurt anyone, that is not your true self. You don't deserve what is happening to you. You don't deserve to make yourself accountable. You don't deserve to die. I'm just trying to make myself better for saying this to you and don't feel like a total monster. But it's true, you are a good person. I'm not. You don't deserve to suffer. I do. You are a victim of your own thoughts. I don't. I still want to believe that the thoughts I imagine were not mine, but in my heart I know that is not true. Every time I imagine a image like that i would try to not to think about it. I'm sorry for eveything. I really do. I regret this, and I hate myself. But you don't have to. You are good, and you don't deserve this.

Does anyone have any good experiences with SSRIs for OCD?

i just feel like being bi at this point is inevitable. it feels like i have to come out to feel complete? idk if that makes sense. also a lot of my friends are bi so it just feels like something that i will just eventually be. it’s so freaky. i feel so happy being only attracted to boys, but for some reason it feels wrong to say in straight, even though that’s what being only attracted to boys literally means. ahh

I wish my ROCD and doubts would just go away ): I hate it so much. I just want to be happy with my partner because I do love him so much. Does anyone have any advice? I could really use the help on this one. This theme has been especially hard for me to handle.