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the NOCD Community

Getting all the “what if I recover from this and then realise I did have ocd but I’m also bi/ gay” thoughts right now. Just feel like I’m in denial, I hate this. Doesn’t help I keep seeing videos/ stories of women realising they were gay/ bi and they didn’t see all the signs before :( now I’m just constantly analysing myself and my life looking for “signs”

Its hard when you see people are normal with their thoughts and i feel like i have no chance to become like normal again 😢

I’ve always been terrified to ask for help. I’m been dealing with mental health stuff of years and haven’t been able to tell my parents. I really want to but I don’t want to ruin what we already have, I don’t want them to view me differently if I get diagnosed. I know they’ll still love me but they are also extremely judgmental and I think it would really hurt me. Just thinking about telling them that I think I have ocd and maybe adhd makes me panic and want to die. It’s so scary and I always think “when I’m better I’ll tell them” but I don’t. I’m also afraid bc I don’t really know if services would really help me and I don’t want them to force me to go on medication or anything. I’m full of shame and embarrassment and I really don’t know how to gain the courage to speak my truth. I don’t know how to tell them about intrusive thoughts without them freaking out, thinking I’m lying, or not taking it seriously. If I told them what I’ve been dealing with they wouldn’t take it well and I don’t want it to cause me to get worse

Why does meditation make my intrusive thoughts worse? I got my mind repeating obscenities. I’ve heard that it opens a portal to demonic forces to the mentally vulnerable.

I suffer from harm OCD intrusive thoughts. I’m trying to go about my day, and I’m literally having anxiety about having the thoughts again. Even just the anxiety of thinking I might have them again is awful. I’m so exhausted.

now i feel like every time i say “ew i am not a p” i am lying or in denial but i know i am not and i am terrified...please does anyone else go through this too with ocd? i feel like i am losing my mind to this disorder :(

I literally feel like i never liked my boyfriend at all and im faking it and im really in denial. i can’t stop crying idk what to do anymore

I’m scared that I might have a crush on my lecturer. I just looked through all of her photos to check to see :( I’m so upset with myself because it was such an obvious compulsion. She’s gay and is very masculine presenting, she’s very welcoming and so I felt comfortable asking her for help with work, but now I’m worrying that this was just me fancying her. I’m so tired :(

This is more social anxiety related but can anyone help me? I need tips for asking acquiantances to hang out without being weird? I am trying to branch out and make more friends but I am not really good at it. I have a couple people I know from college but haven't really hung out with outside of school so I was thinking of asking one to get lunch or something. I just don't know how. Is it weird to ask to get coffee? Will they think I am trying to ask them on a date lol? Idk I am terrible at people skills

I find myself so overwhelmed right now. I feel like I’m starting to like these thoughts, and like I’m starting to become what I feared. At this point I feel like I like these thoughts and I’m just resisting to act on them. I feel so confused and trapped. I feel like this is my fate and I won’t be fine until I act on these thoughts. Now I really feel like I could act on these thoughts and I’m so freaking uncomfortable. I don’t know what to do, I really feel like someone who would like doing these things but I’m just not accepting it. I don’t know how to escape this. I feel it getting closer every second. Help.

I'm absolutely freaking out. I remembered my friends may have dated at 14 and 16 but one of them may have been 15 at the time I'm not sure. I'm spiraling and I looked it up and a lot of people say it's weird and I was 16 at the time and I'm freaked out if it was my fault if I did nothing since I was a close friend and it was bad and I'm friends with them today. I think also I remembered my friend who was 14 when I was 16 filrted w me once or twice and I remember I think I considered if i liked him or wanted to date him. Though when he did flirt i usually just played it off as a normal compliment and/or responded in a way that indicated I cared abt him closely but only as a friend. I remember one time he was like "all I want for Christmas is you" and I said I think something like. "Aw thanks friendo!" And thought if I just said friendo it would not be romantic. Do not remember this clearly. I hate hate hate this I can't sleep and it's 1 am. What if it was bad and it was my fault and I didn't care and I let my friends do something inappropriate. I remember so little. Were they 17 and 15? I can't recall. And I'm too scared to ask abt it.

Please respond Guys I’m freaking out right now. I feel down the google compulsion hole and saw a picture on a porn site that may have had someone under age. I don’t know if they were though. The picture said “if this is your picture or child pornography report here”. I so scared what do I do? Am I gonna be arrested. I wasn’t looking for anything like that. I never wanted to see that or intended to see that. What do I do? I’m not looking for reassurance I am just really scared and don’t know what to do.

This May sound a bit crazy lol, but my girlfriend loves horses and animals. Like more than people almost (she’s one of those kinds of girls haha). My ROCD points out every “bad” thing about her and so I get very anxious/annoyed/resentful anytime I see a horse... is this connected to my ROCD at all? I’m going to see a doctor this Wednesday and am making a list of my triggers. Anyone else have any thoughts on this? Thanks!

Does medical marijuana help with ocd?

my ocd just said something so gross and weird and i want to confess so bad so i don’t have to hold it in and live with it. it said i was attracted to kids and that i want the intrusive thoughts and that i am actually evil and i need to be in jail. it said other horrific things too and now i am spiraling, it said i am not worthy of having kids because i am a monster and that if people knew then i would be all alone and that would send me to jail. i just feel like crying forever and never leaving my house now. it said other specific weird things that are so horrific and now i am terrified. no one could ever warn you about how evil this disorder really is. i read a lot of triggering stuff on youtube and people not believing in this theme and that it’s fake so now i am panicking even more.

Does anyone have false memories of terrible things that “happened” to them as kids? I know this sounds like they could be actual repressed memories but I’m 99.9% sure they’re not. Does anyone know what would cause this?

Am i the only one that gets anxiety from thinking about thinking

the worst part about hocd/soocd is that i always find myself feeling out of love with my boyfriend. i know i love him but the ocd just makes it so hard.

i’ve just been on the subreddit of the thing i fear to check if i relate to them, and some of the things resonated with me. i’m very anxious now and don’t know what to do because it’s filled me with hopelessness. like maybe i really am my worst fear after all this time. it feels like there’s just far too much proof.

What if I’m not as anxious about my theme but I still feel concerned and very uncertain and doubtful? It feels very real still? Even though I’m in the stay better phase of therapy on here. I’m not sure if it’s just my depression or hormones making it worse, or the fact that I can’t get myself to do the higher exposures. Please help.