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Feels like i only like the idea of men and wont like a guy actually doing stuff to me:( And im scared i secretly like the thoughts and am just telling myself i find them disgusting when i really dont And i just dont want any of this but im so scared i do

Has anyone ever had experience OCD triggered by weed..? 1.5 years ago i got really high with my boyfriend and i thought about a really traumatizing horror movie i used to obsess over in high school and got a major panic attack. Ever since then i have ocd themes around horror movies and gore, and my brain has been high alert ever since and been a living hell. I want my normal life back…i miss having a clear mind and not living in fear every day. Could the weed have permanently damaged my brain?? Or maybe it was just a trigger? I keep blaming myself for getting too high that day and its given me depression along with ocd. Can someone help/give advice on this?

I generally suffer from "pure o" which means I get a lot of ocd themes and they change all the time. But especially today I started to suffer from religion ocd. I've had these thoughts before but today they've gotten worse and this makes me unfortunately believe in them even more. I've always been a faithful christian and I never want to change my religion. But especially today for some reason I started to get really scared that I might convert to another religion. (There's a specific religion but I would prefer not to mention it's name not to hurt the feelings of it's believers or to cause any misunderstanding). I'm starting to get these thoughts that this religion is right and christianity isn't and these thoughts are very disturbing and they feel so real. It actually feels like that I actually believe in that and it's scaring me to death. I feel like I don't believe in christianity in anymore and that I particularly believe in the other religion. The big problem is for me that I always try to use faith to deal with ocd which did help me and give me some hope. But now I feel like I can't do that anymore because it feels like I don't believe in my religion in the first place which is never the case. Like how would I pray to god as a christian or use christian faith to deal with ocd when I don't believe in it anymore. Or atleast that's how I feel like. I keep asking myself these type of questions and it's driving me crazy. It's very confusing and this is by far the most hopeless and depressed I've ever felt because most of the time faith felt like my only hope especially with ocd. I don't know what to do I'm very confused. Can anyone relate to me and give me any advice on how to deal with this?

I was chosen to be a leader for a summer camp that happened last week. I did it but because of my themes it was difficult for me. My friend decided to help me in that class as well, but there are a few things that have bothered me. The first day she was basically doing all the leading, and even though I wanted to lead she would get a head start so I couldn’t. Later she asked me what she could improve on so I told her the only thing i’d like is if she’d give me more room to be a leader. When I told her this, she got upset because she told me she felt like I was telling her she was overstepping. The thing is, that’s how I felt. I didn’t want to keep it in the entire week and let that anger simmer so I told her the same day which was difficult for me. I told her it was hard for me because of my themes and I’d never been a leader before. The next day she was mad at me and when I asked her after the day was over if she was mad, ahe said no, but later on the phone she said yes. When I asked her about it, she said it was because I told her she was overstepping and because I didn’t give her and our helper any assignments to do. I asked her what other way I could’ve phrased askjng for more room and she said to ask for more time, but I told her I didn’t need more time I needed more space. The summer camp we help with has rotations like crafts and such but everyday looks a bit different, so I told her I can’t tell you in the morning do this and do that because I just need to ask you when the need arises, and the camp has never been like that, all the past leaders just ask hey can you do this or help them with this and we do it, but besides which activity we go to there isn’t a layout. She said she was still mad at me and moved on. I didn’t apologize bc I didn’t see where I was wrong. Then yesterday she didn’t acknowledge me. I sat down nearby and she looked in my direction but not at me, so I left her alone bc I could tell she was mad. I truly hope Im not badmouthing her I don’t mean to make people look down on her, but I’m just really angry? I feel like I’m always overreacting but I need some insight from others bc I can’t tell. Thoughts?

Honestly, I need advice. How can I still live with OCD, my family invalidating me, and everything slowly getting worse. I keep getting told, "You're being ridiculous!", "If people see you in public like this you'll be sent to the nuthouse!", "Do you act like this in school?!", "You're just a hypochondriac, it isn't serious!", "Get over it!". It hurts and it is pushing my progress back. Instead of moving backwards, I wanna move forward, but it feels impossible. Help?

Hi guys I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I have struggled with ROCD for a long time now and it has been hard on my relationship. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and 2 weeks ago he admitted to me that he finds other girls attractive. It seems innocent to me and I know it is normal to find beauty in other people even when in a relationship. I know it’s normal, but I still cannot stop worrying about it. I worry he may find these girls more attractive than me and will develop feelings for them. My boyfriend says he doesn’t find them more attractive and that he only wants to be with me, but I can’t stop these thoughts. I have tried ERP exercises, talked to my therapist and asked my partner for reassurance which only helps temporarily and then the constant worry and agonizing intrusive thoughts come back. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to worry about this anymore. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I just want to be able to accept this and move on.

pls help!! so something that really helped me calm down when I’m having a OCD attack is that, before HOCD, I knew all my life that I was straight. But now, my brain is trying to tell me that I didn’t know that I was straight bc subconsciously I was always questioning. What do I do?? I thought I knew I was straight all my life before this, but now my hocd is making me believe that I didn’t actually know and I was always doubting my sexuality. Is this still HOCD? Can someone relatevvv

I feel like I'm never going to be happy again 😔

18+ please I’m so aggravated because it seems like my ocd is trying to attach meaning to the littlest things that don’t even matter to try and find proof that I’m a bad person. I hate myself. When I was younger I had a I hate to say it it’s very embarrassing but a tickling fetish and what if when I would do that to someone did that make me a bad person? I know it’s a normal thing and at the time it was normal but what if wasn’t? What if it was wrong and I should hate myself for it? What if I had groinal response or worse? What if what if what if! I’m exhausted

i think i definitely have ROCD. i have a boyfriend and we have been together for 2 months and i see him every day. i want to move in with him. i dream about him every night. i am literally crazy about this guy - he is amazing and beautiful in every way. however i have so many doubts that i “actually truly love him”. what if i just like the idea of him? i’m not sure how to tell if it’s real or not. i am so proud that he’s my boyfriend. he’s everything i could ever ask for. i also worry about us breaking up constantly, even though everything is going pretty much perfectly as it can in a relationship. one of my friends highly disapproves of us, and constantly talks about “if you guys were to break up”. she says stuff like “you guys won’t date forever” and “when you break up..” and “be careful, he might only want you for the sex” and also “all men are assholes, it’ll definitely come to a point in your relationship where you’ll understand that” and i have a panic reaction every time she says these things because i feel like she’s gonna jinx it and that we WILL break up. i am still young. still in school. but i am certain that i wanna spend years and years with him. even the rest of my life if possible. but it’s hard to imagine us in the future. i feel like it would be impossible to love me for so long..? and i feel like i’m ridiculous for imagining such things like being together forever because everyone says it’s “impossible”. i have so many doubts and i’m so scared. i don’t want this to ever end. i don’t want to think about it. but every time we are together i have to check if i am feeling good or if i love the way he looks or if i’m truly in love with him. i even feel infected writing this because i don’t want to even utter the possibility of us breaking up. it’s horrible but i’m really really scared he knows how much i struggle with ocd so should i tell him!?

I’ve been doing pretty well for the last few years. I saw a great therapist and am still currently taking sertraline. A few days ago I had some colleagues over for a few drinks, we had a brilliant day but then I woke up the next day absolutely panicking that I’d made a fool of myself because I’d been a little bit drunk (we all were!) I tried to sit with the anxiety but I absolutely caved, spent ALL day googling and reading articles about anxiety after drinking, and texting my friends to make sure I wasn’t an idiot. As well as excessively reassurance seeking from my husband to make sure I wasn’t a bad person. I’m so mad at myself for taking a step back :( I have a constant feeling that if everything isn’t tidy/sorted at home or my to do list isn’t ticked off completely or I don’t fully have every single thing in my life sorted, that I cannot and should not rest. Everything has to be perfect and it is EXHAUSTING.

I’ve heard some people say wanting to tell you friends and family everything you’ve done or thought is a compulsion. But I really feel like I’m not being honest with them if I don’t?

does anyone else’s OCD cause them to overcompensate? like when i used to have SOOCD i would always overcompensate about me being straight. and when i was having real event OCD about a certain thing i said in the past, i would always like overcompensate to show i supported that group of people and was not a hater towards them and that i did not mean what i said. and now with POCD i feel like everytime i see a tiktok talking about someone being a pedo or a story where someone did something horrible to kids or someone saying something that’s pedoish i feel like i absolutely HAVE to comment how horrible that person is or how weird someone is and just overcompensate or else i am not truly against people hurting children. now, i saw a tiktok saying that people who always talk about pedophilia and constantly talk about how they are against it are just truly overcompensating and are probably pedos themselves and now i’m freaking out that all of the times i talk about how pedophilia is bad on tiktok or call out people acting like pedophiles that people will think i’m just overcompensating thinking i’m one myself.

As a kid i would always have girl best friends / sisters (i always wanted a sister), and i would imagine in my head like us in the future She would be my best friend and i would have my husband and child and she would have her husband and child And i feel like i only did that because i wasnt aware of the possibility of two girls being together But yet i was I learned what being gay was at like 6/7 and it never once crossed my mind that i could be I always liked guys and saw them as romantic partners It’s never been girls before, not once until fucking ocd started And now idek where i stand And im scared that im a lesbian and had signs in the past and everything:(

I’m being haunted by the memory of my past friendship. It was a very toxic friendship in which I would do anything this girl asked me to. When we fought, I used to give her presents and write her notes so she would forgive me. Now I’m convinced that, in reality, I liked her and my mind is telling me that that is the final proof I’m lesbian. I’m scared bc this feel so real that it seems like a fact. It seems like if I don’t accept it I’m in denial.

Things have been difficult for me, by this point if I what to do, I am getting angry at myself and other people are invalidating me constantly. I can't even bring myself to get my own cup of water. I know I shouldn't ask what I should do, but if anyone can help me, please do, I can't even sleep at night.

this is not particularly ocd related but I need help. I have experienced all my life that most girls don’t like me and always find ways to make me feel insecure. Even girls that doesn’t me, I feel an energy that is very toxic from so many girls that I meet. But it’s always me that deals with it, I don’t know anyone else that experience it. I have been told that I am pretty and that I have a beautiful soul that makes other girls jealous, but I don’t understand what it is about me that makes other girls behaving like this towards me. Therefor I don’t have a lot of friends, that also has been a trigger to my hocd, can someone help me understand this?

I’m going to be honest. I’m not ok. When I try to rationalize a thought it make me feel like I’m in denial. My groinals are weird.

I’m ruminating over whether or not I’m a child molester since jag was my first false memory and encounter with ocd . (8th grade )Then after that it progressed to intrusive thoughts , which sent me a pang of anxiety. I’m debating whether or not I did compulsions . Was it avoidance because the thoughts were scary or was it just me thinking the thought was absurd . I remember thinking the thought was absurd and kind of leaving it . I’d fantasize about random people and my best friends face would pop up involuntarily and id avoid fantasize Nagu all together due to this (9th), then I had HIV obsession (9th) and them POCD again. What weird is how cool I was over this at first . Like was I avoiding thoughts cuz they were too scary or were they normal intrusive thoughts and I’m avoiding the fact that I’m a molester ??? Like for example , in grade 9, I had intrusive thoughts of being attracted to my friends 12 year old Bridget and whenever he left I was relieved he was gone . But I didn’t ruminate. A lot . I just kinda avoided and felt relief . I guess I didn’t get into the content cuz it’s too scary so that’s why I was nonchalant or maybe not . Idk it’s SO weird

This is a poem I did a while ago, one of the many things OCD is good it and is making you forget who you are and that's how I was feeling when I wrote this and to be honest it still resonates with me today...