Welcome to
the NOCD Community

No one has the same thoughts I have 😔

i keep seeing people on here saying they never questioned their sexuality before and it makes me sick because i have and this is further proof that i am in denial. i questioned it though not because i liked a girl, but because i fit a lot of those stereotypes and started believing tiktoks saying stuff like "if you do this you're bi" or "if you like this you're bi" and some of them applied that's why i thought i was bi, but even then i didn't fantasize about girls and didn't feel like i was truly bi. but this makes me sick to the stomach. this doesn't feel like hocd anymore, it just feels like i am struggling with my sexuality and i hate it. i just please i don't want to like girls or be with girls please :(

i truly believe i am a lesbian/bisexual in denial. i am truly convinced of that. can this all feel this real???

In a secular world, faith is rarely mentioned as a form of healing. If you believe in God, know that you are not fighting this battle alone. Before this episode of ocd, I had kind of put my faith on the back burner. Going through this has helped me return to God and has strengthened my relationship with Him like never before. I am going to have to put in work, but I trust that He will help me get through this. Just posting this because relying on God has given me incredible peace, and I thought it could be helpful for some of you. Just a thought :)

Is it gay to find a guy "cute". Like a couple months ago I've been finding every single guy i look at "cute" and tbh it's weird and a little discomforting in a way. Like i have a whole girlfriend and I believe she's very beautiful and I'm emotionally, physically, and sexuality attracted to her and my worst fear is that i am gay and I just don't know it. When I find guys attractive i don't see them in that way but it's just annoying

i’m so obsessed with emptying my blatter completely to the point where i sit on the bathrooom for 30 mins literally forcing myself to pee as much as possible even if it brings me pain. and then after i finish and go back into my room i feel like my ocd might be tricking me and making me think i have to use the bathroom and pee AGAIN! even tho i just spent 30 minutes in there. and recently i always get up and use the bathroom again and everytime i go i literally barely even pee. and sometimes i don’t at all. and it’s so annoying bc the second i go back to bed it physically feels like i have to go pee and it’s so hard to ignore the feeling and convince myself that it’s just in my head so these past times that this has happened i always end up giving in and getting up to use the bathroom. i’m literally feeling like getting up and usuing the bathroom rn again after spending 30 minutes in there and i’m finding it so hard to not go. i feel like after j finish typing this i’ll go straight to the bathroom. idk how to deal with this

Good morning, can I ask what other people do to keep their mind busy and to stop you ruminating? Do you use self talk about real life, whats happening now? Decisions to make, watching TV etc? I’m just so use to ruminating for hours on end, for years, I’ve forgot how to behave otherwise. It seems like I’m either paying attention to the mind and trying to stop ruminating or, my mind is quiet and I just go through the motions of the day. I’ve got no strategy on going forward/recovering. I try and leave the mind alone and do a Pilates class but my mind is elsewhere not on Pilates but thinking OCD thoughts, what my mind is doing etc, I think I need to keep it focused on real life but I don’t know how. Is self talk the key? Any advice would be HUGELY APPRECIATED 💕

I made a post earlier but it was very low effort so I want to remake it. When I was 13, 16 now. I catfished a girl I was dating. My OCD is just now on me. It is telling me to tell the girl I catfished her. Wont confessing make it worst? Is there even a point in confessing. I am a better person now and will never do anything like that again.

I feel like im never gonna love a man and i like girls and am just in denial I just wanna be one of those girls that fawn over shirtless boys again and are boy crazy soooo badly Its not fair:( At least to know i like guys and dont feel like this

I really need someones opinion about the situation i am going through and if its even OCD or not. Please help me. I was traumatized by this horror movie in freshmen year of high school and ruminated over it for about a month, i didnt watch it just kind of peaked around it causing me so much distress. The obession just kind of went away and i got over it. Fast forward to 2019 of december (i was 25 at that time), i got abnormally high with my bf and i thought about that movie and it gave me a panic attack. Ive been since obsessing over the movie, like looking up the plot, debating if i should watch it or not, distressing about it, telling myself its not real, etc. for about 1.5 years now.. there are now 3 sequels to that movie and i actually watched the first one and i am now obsessing over the 2nd and 3rd one. My question is - is this just a re surfacing childhood fear that i probably should get over or is it OCD…? Ive had different therapists tell me numerous things and its just giving me more anxiety and i feel like i even developed ocd because i kept telling myself i have it. Please please please help me.

Guys I feel like I am going to do things against my religion to fit in. It feels so real. What do i do??

Groinal responses to triggers is the definition of hell on earth 🥴

no one ever replies. i feel alone like transgender ocd and sexual orientation ocd is horrible rn and no one has helped :// like i got this app to be able to talk with people who can help and relate but no one ever answers :/ i’m not trying to make anyone feel bad but i’m sure other ppl relate?

Me and my partner have been going out for a couple of montjs now, and there hasn't really been much physical contact, the odd brush hear and there. On our last date we went out and after a while he held my hand and later on he asked my permission to hug me. I said yes but I immediately felt scared and had an anxiety attack. I don't know whats wrong with me, when my friends and family hold my hand, touch me and hug me I feel fine but when he touches me I get so scared and freeze up. It might be because its my first proper relationship and these are my firsts (I'm 15 by the way). This is then triggering my soocd and telling me because I don't like being touched, I'm gay and the touched my girl best friend give me are more comfortable because I'm secretly gay. I like this guy a lot, and I am sure I'm not gay but my ocd is giving me so much rubbish for it. From what I can tell this isn't normal. I should feel comfy right? I'm sure with more touches and time I'd get more comfy. But I just wanted to let that out cuz it's been brewing inside of me for a while.

(Sorry not ocd related) Anyone autistic/suspected autistic people on here? I wanna get screened for autism but sometimes I feel as if I'm "faking it". Could anyone list some autism traits common in females?

a little concerned. i’m not gonna freak out and come on this app all anxious and nervous i’ve made that mistake one too many times. but, i was watching tik toks and there was this one that this girl said she would rather scissor with a girl and i genuinely got turned on and in my head i was like (TMI 18+ AT THIS POINT)… “yeah i want that omg” and it turned me on but at the same time made me very anxious. i just don’t believe that runs through straight girls’ minds if they see stuff like that. any advice? on like how to handle this? no one ever really talks about genuine arousal all that’s ever talked about it “groinals”. (which i do in fact believe are a very real thing)

I had a really bad thought when last night about this little girl. I know it was intrusive but it was sexual in nature. It was something like, when she grows up she’s gonna have a nice butt or something. And I started panicking. I don’t wanna think that. I’m not a pedophile. I am not attracted to kids, I know this. But what if the thought is true? What if I really saw her and thought that? I’m in such distress right now. What if I really thought she had a nice butt??? And was gonna grow up to have a nice one?? I know this is probably OCD, but what if I really think that? The more I analyze it, the more I’m like, well yeah for a little girl maybe she did? And it is sending me into an even further panic. Im not sure what to do. Any advice?

My relationship OCD has been severe lately and with seemingly no trigger to cause this flare up. I am constantly anxious, doubtful and panicked that I don't love my partner, overanalyzing whether or not I'm attracted to him, and ruminating on the numbness I feel when we are together. Every idea I can come up with to test and check to see if there's that love feeling, that attraction or interest/excitement in doing things together feels invalid, like it won't work. I get triggered further when my partner asks me if I'm okay, and that wave of panic comes back. I can't tell if this is OCD, or if it's my gut telling me it's not a relationship I should stay in. We've been together for five years, I'm not in OCD therapy, and I've been off meds for four months now.

I cant breath and live like This, a week ago or something i was in vacation in Montenegro, we stayed in a hotel but had to switch hotel the last days. When it was getting time to eat (the clock was around 8 not in the morning but midnight) i didnt Know what to wear, my mom said that i could wear the dress i had, When i wore the dress i kept kinda asking mom if i should really wear This cause i wanted my mom to decide. And thats because i was scared that if i wore the dress i would do something to any kids out there, it sounds really dumb ik but my brain had their own reasons, pretty much because of the dress i wore. I was feeling anxious but i just wore it and we got out of our room. We took the elevator downstairs and went to the dining place. We picked what we were gonna eat and took them With us to the table, the thing is When we sat down i still havent picked something to drink so i took my cup and went to those machines. Now This is what im constanly worrying and thinking about. When i poured the cola on my cup i went back to my seat (atleast i hope so) and sat down, not Even minutes passed and i already thought «what if i did something to a kid when i was gonna Get something to drink» i just decided to not think about it but then i thought «what if the reason im not going to think about it is because i actually did it and had no problem With it like it isnt a big deal for me» so i kinda panicked inside me and asked my mom how long did it take for me to Get something to drink and come back, basically i dont think she likes When i Ask things like that because she Know why i do it. I think she went like «wth Are u talking about? U literally just walked away and came back» so i think she meant it didnt Even take 2/3 minutes. Later that night i couldnt stop worrying. The next day was actually the day we were going to leave montenegro and When we were about to go out i was thinking what if the Childs socks or anything Are in the counters and is the proof that i have done something but we didnt have time to stay in the room anymore so we took the condo and left. Right now im in belgium and i cant trust myself anymore. I dont want to live With a fact that i have hurt someone like that. My mom thinks its really ridicilous if i Ask her about This. I cant deal With things anymore what if i actually have done something like that, i literally just want to die at This point im still anxious over This.

we may go to the beach today and i am so worried i am going to get turned on by looking at girls or that i will like what i see. is this hocd? being scared of getting turned on? because lately the scenarios i do to check haven't been making me anxious, on the contrary they felt like i wanted them and liked them and that made me so uncomfortable. what if deep down i do want that? i don't want to like it. is this denial? saying i don't want to like the thoughts of same sed intercourse??