Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I appreciate all of you here so much 💛🧡 (even whoever it is that blocked me, no hard feelings 😉) ”Safe space” is kind of a buzzword now, but after all the time and effort I’ve put into different kinds of therapy over the years, this is by far the safest-feeling and most motivating group I’ve been part of. Seeing so many other people working on the same things I’m chipping away at is helping me stay the course when I get discouraged. Even though I mostly try to keep it positive here (or at least constructive), I’m glad to feel like I can get into the really hard stuff or work through things through here when I need to, since there’s not really anywhere else in my life where I can do that. 💛🧡

Physical intimacy triggers can be so scary. It's hard cause it feels like, even when you do the thing and face the uncertainty anyway, it doesn't feel the way it always used to feel like to kiss your partner. It feels like it will be a thing that has some doubt tied to it forever :/

I’ve talked about my rocd before, and how I’m so done with it. But can someone give me some insight as to why. Why does my ocd make me think I can’t or I’m not allowed to be in a relationship. I’m 15 going on to be 16 in the spring, and it’s not like I’m not allow d or something by my parents. They don’t mind at all as long as I’m being treated ok. But since discovering my ocd in the first place I realized about my rocd as well. It didn’t have as bad affect on me when I was younger because I didn’t care and I wasn’t where I am now, but now I’m at the age where I’m getting asked out or I’m becoming friends with these guys and I can’t even go on a date with them or hang out because I just keep getting intrusive thoughts. There getting worse, it’s causing me nausea, and it’s overall driving me crazy. I just don’t understand why my brain thinks all these negative bad things, like I haven’t even been able to give it a shot. I don’t have a nocd therapist due to my location, and due to covid I can currently see a local therapist for a professional opinion, so I just don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m just so tired of never being able to chose what I want to do. I feel like my decisions at this point aren’t my decisions there all up to my ocd. I just hate it.

Has anyone on here experienced a serious increase in OCD while pregnant? I am pregnant and my OCD is really bad. My general anxiety is worse too and I feel like I can’t escape it. I am constantly either worrying, doing rituals, or faced with unpleasant thoughts. Any tips on what I can do to get through this??

Happy #flooffriday night :) here's a picture of me + gyppers 😊 I have looked better lmao this pic was taken on a hair wash day She got up on the chair all by herself, it was a nice relaxing patio outing hehe I hope everyone is doing amazing tonight, how'd everyone's days go? 💗 If you're struggling tonight, here's my favorite 60 second guided meditation for intrusive thoughts: https://www.pixelthoughts.co/#

My POCD thought feel to real. I feel like an actual p* I look at kids and check to see if I’m aroused or get a thought. Than I make a thought and it doesn’t scare me as much anymore and I don’t know why to do. I’m starting erp and I’m scared that I’m just going to end up realizing I probably am one. This is so tough I feel like admitting I am one and when I do I just cry because I know I’m not but why does it feel like this. I hate this I never had thoughts like this and I just want die

My mom just told me that she had a dream that I came out as gay to her and told her I wanted to break up with my fiancé. I feel like I’m spiraling. Does this mean I really am? Does she think I am? If she thinks I am, isn’t that good proof? I know I’m asking for reassurance but I’m freaking.

Having a pretty bad relationship oriented spiral for the past two days. Stopped myself from asking for reassurance, but I haven’t slept that much and it’s eating away at me. Any tips or advice on how to cope??? Like I said I’m unable to do anything because it’s all I’m thinking about

Hey everyone so I need someone advice. So basically my friend does weed. And I have never done weed before and they asked me if I wanted to try some I could. And they aren’t peer pressuring me or anything like that. But I’m just curious but I’m also nervous. I am a teenager and I would just like to know anyone’s experiences with it when they were a teen if they have any. And also do you think it would be ok if I tried a little.

Is anyone here dealing with identity issues? I dont feel like myself at all, I feel my perception is different on everything, I feel blocked inside, like Im not present within myself. Any advice please?

I’m so scared therapy won’t work and i’ll be stuck like this forever….cause apparently therapy & medication only works for 70-80% of patients. Knowing my luck it won’t work for me…. I’m so scared. This is my last resort. I’d rather die than live like this the rest of my life 😭 And i’ve been in therapy for like a month and a half and found no improvement—if anything I’ve been getting worse. The only thing I’ve noticed that I’ve improved on is recognizing the thoughts & being aware of my compulsions. Besides that, the thoughts haven’t improved one bit & i haven’t gotten any of my life back. AND THE FUCKING THIS IS IM SO SAD AND FEEL SO ROBBED OF LIFE CAUSE I HAVE THIS DREAM OF HAVING A HUSBAND AND HOUSE AND KIDS AND BEING A SUCCESSFUL WRITER AND MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER YET MY BRAIN TELLS ME THAT’S NOT WHAT I WANT AND I WANNA BE A LESBIAN I CANT WANT ANYTHING CAN I WTF

It feels like I’m losing him and like it won’t get better. It feels like I simply don’t love him and it feels so real. Can ocd feel this real? I don’t know what to do I don’t want to lose him

With ROCD how do you enjoy the moment with your significant other? I’m constantly feeling pressure to decide and make a decision how I feel. And I feel like the feeling gets worse when we are together or doing something as a couple. They are still there when we aren’t hanging out but I’m able to tell myself it’s just thoughts. It’s just way harder when I’m actively doing something as a couple (I hope this makes sense)

I have decided to drop out of college now. It’s finally clear to me that it’s the only thing I can do now. I feel like such a failure tho but luckily I have the best and supportive parents that agree with my solution. I am going to lie to the people in my class and roommates about it, I just have to say I got sick or something because it’s so embarrassing to me. I suffer from depression, intense anxiety (hocd and social and generalized). I have personality problems and I look forward to go to a therapist and start recovery and start to be myself and healthy again, because it’s a very long time since I was myself and completely mentally healthy. What do you guys think about my decision? I struggle a lot with quitting college but I don’t think the program was for me anyways so that’s a good thing. I am 19 years old and I have many years to decide what I want to do, don’t I?

Seriously not copeing with pocd at the moment, for the past couple of months I have went really well, living life again, not wanting to not be here every minute of every day, I felt like I was so much stronger and able too take on anything, now the thoughts have slowly come back stronger and stronger the past few days, things like going to hurt my baby daughter whether that be sexually or physically, I hate to hear about pedos on the news or anything because it makes me get a strong feeling of like guilt or something, when I’m feeling good and not having so much anxiety I can shrug the thoughts off mostly and keep going about me day, but now it’s fully convinced me that I’m attracted to kids and that I’m a monster and want to harm them, I constantly compare myself and my thoughts to things I hear on the news or anything about pedos, my head just goes around and around all day, then when I try to be strong and positive and say to myself it’s the ocd coming in again, I then start to search for all these reasons as to why it is or isn’t ocd, I was the most proud loving dad, now I can’t even bring myself to look at my little princess, I can’t bring myself to shower with her, I have panic attacks if I’m left alone with her, I just don’t know what to do anymore

Does anyone have a fear of romantic relationships? I’m honestly really embarrassed to ask this question but I’m trying to step out of my comfort zone and I’m curious how other people feel 🙂🙃

I’m starting therapy but I’m scare they’re answer will be vague and I’ll be wasting my time like how I didn’t really benefit from therapy last time I had one

It feels like if me and my mind are two different people.... Because my mind wants the opposite of what I want and I can't figure out what I truly want now. Also I need advice from people but only if you have the same problem if not then no. But I'll say a girl is pretty and my mind goes "your gay, bi or Les" but It started last week on Friday and that day I felt so scared that I was becoming gay and I cried a lot this week cause of it! Like I can't find a girl pretty without my mind saying omg you like her. Liking guys makes me happy and excited but I've never liked a girl or I don't see myself dating one. I've imagined how it would be to date a girl and I find it uncomfortable. Sorry if this offends anyone. But I don't like the thought of "liking a girl". I keep searching how do I know if I'm bi or Les or straight 😐 I don't know what to do.

Did anyone have these thoughts as kid?!! Or just me? 🙁 I specifically remember saying I can’t be gay but I guess I can be bi…. My brain uses this as proof. I also was terrified and anxious about anything gay related as I was growing up 😞

Obsessive thoughts about being unable to sleep are causing insomnia. Has anyone experienced this or have any advice?