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Does anyone know what depersonalization is? I’ve been feeling very strange lately and Im worried that it’s more than depersonalization.

Why did I just have a abt being attracted to my abuser 💀 I so fucking hate this and now I’m having thoughts like “oh I can see why my mom dated him” like nooo :( I feel so terrible and nasty I just hate this I hate myself I feel like I’m only one going thru this

Haven’t been on here for a while. I think I have a problem. My bf and I are on a break because our relationship almost ended and it’s monogamous but I find myself (which I know it’s normal to be sexually attracted to someone in general) but a coworker of mine I feel like I have a crush on cuz he’s really attractive but I feel terrible about it, and I would never say that to my partner and we aren’t even talking right now so to say that is like wow you are cheating on me, or why would you do that to me. It’s not only that but me and him have some deep conversations and he always says he is there to talk to me anytime and asked for my Snapchat and I wasn’t trying to make it seem like a fling thing at all, but it now feels like it because he sees me at work and I find myself looking forward to seeing him because it makes me feel good… I feel terrible about it and don’t know what to do and I feel like a cheater because it’s just too far and if I told him which how could I it’s over board and I am afraid he would say the same thing like oh same with me, and I’d be mad like wow you betrayed me. So anyone have advice and it’s not reassurance because this has no part in my ocd guilt it’s something that I feel like I have an issue with. Because one time a friend of mine (a guy) I hugged him multiple times because he was leaving a therapy group and it felt wrong after because like I am hugging him because it feels good and I am attracted to him.. and I don’t even talk about this stuff because I know it’s wrong and I don’t know why I do this and I fucking hate myself I don’t wanna be anything like my dad. Any input would be appreciated!

My partner and I recently had our 3 year anniversary, and it’s been incredible. I love him so much and celebrating our relationship is important to me, but recently I think my relationship OCD has been triggered. I keep wondering if I’m doing the right thing. Should I still be with him? Is 3 years too long? What if it doesn’t work out? Will I wish I ended it now? But at the same time I love him and want to build a future with him. I feel like my options are to get married within a year or break up within a year, but neither feel right. I want to be content with where we are now, but the uncertainty of it all is driving me crazy. I’m also worried that since we’ve been dating so long that I’ve become dependent on him/lost myself. I don’t think this is true, in the past we both worked on avoiding codependency actively. But now I’m feeling myself slip and I’m afraid I’m not capable of doing this without him. I’m by myself for the first time in a while tonight and I’m noticing how unraveled I am, I’m just afraid this means I need to end things? I know this is a jumble of thoughts and worries and I don’t know what I expect to gain, I just need to get it out there somewhere

Hey everyone, I don’t know if I’m asking for reassurance, but I need some guidance. Query: Academic integrity I’m nearing exam period (I’m currently in study break) and my obsessions around academic integrity and honesty are rising again. Our class was given the instruction sheet for exams early and it said that you aren’t allowed to exchange written summaries of the permissible materials for the exam with each other (the exams are all open book, but permissible materials are lectures, tutorials and readings). My mid year exam period was really hard on me. I was struggling to keep up cause my OCD relapsed and I was struggling to take care of it, and then my uncle passed away unexpectedly, so I got pretty behind with studies but I still managed to keep up with all of the content and write up my cheat sheet (this is permissible, it’s just a condensed version of your notes as it’s too time consuming to go over all your notes). Despite my circumstances, I wouldn’t help feeling bad for my peers who were struggling to keep up. They weren’t behind because of any other circumstances, mainly just because our studies has such a huge workload (studying law is basically a full time job). I felt an obligation to send my cheat sheets to them (we didn’t communicate on these documents, so I always assumed this wasn’t cheating considering how many other students admitted to doing it as well). Sometimes I would insist I’d give it to them because I felt bad that I couldn’t really see them suffer, but sometimes they’d ask for other notes from me. This became exhausting for me because a lot of people ended up depending on me. One of them reciprocated and gave one cheat sheet to me, to which I drew some of their notes and incorporated mine, as well as some from the student note bank which is backed by the university law student organisation (permissible to use the latter). When exams came along, I failed two out of three exams. I was really disappointed, but my peers ended up passing (but they were also disappointed with their grades). I really do not want to commit academic dishonesty again, there have been so many instances where I didn’t realise I actually was technically cheating because I would discuss ideas with my peers for assignments. But recently, my friend came to me and asked me to send her all my tutorial notes because she was behind this semester. I previously gave her my case sheet and lecture notes (the latter because her laptop died on her and she lost everything, she was also the one that still gave me a cheat sheet which I’m thankful for). I’m not going to lie, but I didn’t feel like giving it to her because I’m not being compassionate to myself when I am struggling myself, but I didn’t know how to respond to it so I said “sure, just make sure to go to the office hours and run through those notes cause they’re vague”. So I sent them to her, but I really regret it once I saw the instruction sheet for the exam, literally saying that it went against the university policies. The exam hasn’t started yet but I’m just ruminating. Sorry for the rant, but I want to know how to approach this situation??? I won’t get caught for this because it’s just tutorial notes which is hard to track but it’s sick and tiring when I give people my notes and I fail and they pass and I don’t want to be dishonest :(

i feel like i’ve hit a real rock bottom and that its time i start my medication. my prescription is zoloft. can anyone tell me their experience on it for OCD?

Also, does anyone feel like they almost have like two brains? not personalities just feeling okay and not okay? hard to explain

How many of you have recovered from ocd? I know we tend to come here for support during our struggles but I know many ppl have recovered from a theme or ocd symptoms period. Can you share your story if you have. The prevailing story is that ocd is chronic but there are many voices off this app saying they are living proof that ocd doesn't have to be chronic.

I’m scared that I’ve caught feelings for a guy I work with. For the past couple of years I’ve always wanted to meet him, because he’s a fantastic musician that all my friends know as well. We get on, but only in the way I would have got in with all my friends. He is gay. And now I’m worried that I want to “be with him.” It makes me so anxious. I keep having panic attacks when I think about it but sometimes I think about it and don’t get anxious. I just don’t want these feelings because they just add to the guilt I already have about staying with my girlfriend who I really miss (as I’m away for work right now).

I just did an exposure that was way too high for me: I read a coming out article, written by the writer of Orange is the New Black. She was in her 30’s and she realized she was gay while she was on set for season one. She took time to figure out if she was gay, and left her newlywed husband. She’s now with a woman. This is my biggest fear, as I’m in a relationship with a man I love and am in my early 30’s. My thoughts are “are you in denial? What if this turns into your story as well?” “What about those thoughts you had years ago?” I’m not looking for reassurance, rather help with getting myself out of this spiral. I did this exposure about an hour ago and feel so sick I can’t really eat. OCD makes things feel so painfully real. When I do exposures lower on my hierarchy, I typically feel so clear once I’m out of the anxiety- I can say “wow, that was my OCD. How incredible is that.” And move on. But I’m having a hard time reaching that point with this exposure. Help would be much appreciated 💙

I thought I was on the road to recovery and now I’m just more confused. It feels like I’m just suppressing something I want. But I don’t want it. It doesn’t feel like me but I’ve forgotten what me feels like. And on the rare few seconds where I feel like myself I get so scared that it’s going to go again. I feel like a fraud, how can I stay with my girlfriend if I keep thinking about this. I don’t even know what I want anymore. I was sure now I don’t know anything.

I hate when hocd trying to convince me that i like women and need to breake up with my partner because i can't be with him cause of "my orientation"

I went to see the people who havent spoken to me because of covid yesterday to get reassurance it wasnt because of my OCD. I feel terrible today.......the lady I spoke to was nice enough to me but I seriously think she is suffering from dementia. She helped me get over my OCD last time but when I asked her if it was because of my OCD they have fallen out with me she said...'OCD???? No.....' I must have asked her about 4 times and at one point she said she must have OCD........She was a bit confused and now I have terrible anxiety. She said her husband didnt want to see me. I asked her why they were like this and she said oh the stuff that has been going on with the injections and stuff......They are in their mid 70s. I have such anxiety today. How can I do an ERP to stop myself from going over the conversation I had with her yesterday? I felt okay afterwards yesterday but today I have been sick with the anxiety. Please help me because I am so upset. I wish I had never gone round there. And I know seeking reassurance makes it worse. I am my own worse enemy. I cant stand this anymore. Why wont my brain just leave me alone? They were so kind to me when I had OCD 2 yesrs ago and even read up on it so why does it torture me like this now? I hate people falling out with me and fear I will never get over this one. I dont want to live anymore with OCD.

Where did you go on OCD Island today? This fantastic drawing was done by @ocddoodles on Instagram. Today I spent most of my time at trigger point. I got lost and couldn’t find lake compassion so I spent some time going down the river of intrusive thoughts and spent the evening at guilt gorge. I’m likely going to spend the night in the shame shack. I hope everyone had a better adventure today! 💛

I’m going to start new meds in a few weeks and I’m hella nervous. Although the new meds are proven to work better with managing OCD, they will be much stronger than what I’m currently on. This new medicine is called Prozac. Has anyone been on it? What was/is it like. Any advice?

Brothers and sisters, dare to see your intrusive thoughts as not absolute truths but as the lies that they are. See them and compare them to your values, they will not match, therefore move along, thoughts aren't by nature truth, they're simply thoughts. God bless you

I’m feeling so bad rn :( like really a bad person like my abuser idk if this is the same

Hocd TW... This is so messed up, I used to be in a hocd support group with this guy who I became good friends with, He eventually left that group, I still spoke with him but cold turkey ignored him for 2 months bc I used to get triggered everytime I was chatting with him, we started talking again and now he says he is bisexual, Ive told him several times that he probably confused himself by ruminating too much but he says he feels real attraction to men now and its stronger than women. Its such a discouragement talking to him now bc he used to a very positive guy, he still is but says he is bisexual now. Smfh. If it happened to him, it will happen to me too.

I understand you can wire your brain into thinking things. I have had people on here and people in my actual life tell me that I need to rewrite my brain in order to get the results I want. I do know I don’t wanna leave my partner. I do hear voices saying I don’t love him or that I am not attracted to him. The feelings that come with it are strong. I still do things to show him I love him despite the difficulties that come. Like he’s very sick with a severe cold and I’ve been taking care of him by buying medicine and everything. We are moving soon and this is the first time my partner and I will be on our own without our roommates. I am worried about money and everything. I know my partner will do the right thing. He’s way better at saving than I am. That’s for sure. I am gonna look into a therapist. Bc I don’t think this will end without one now. I want to love my partner like before and I am not expecting anyone to give me answers on here or even advice. I just vent on here Bc going on Reddit has really messed up my brain badly. I have no romantic feelings whatsoever for him due to my depression. Haven’t been in the mood in months. We are both stressed out badly. Due to life throwing us curve balls. I am worried about things being taken away from me when if I can’t afford anything… worried about a lot of what ifs if something happens….

I know everyone is different with meds but if you just have anxiety and OCD can SSRIS actually help? I’ve been terrified of trying them and I’ve tried natural supplements with no help I just don’t know what else to do the anxiety is ridiculous