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the NOCD Community

A reminder to everyone on here reading through other people’s posts looking for reassurance: put your phone down! Close the app! I know this feels like the most important thing in the world right now, but you’re just continuing the obsessive compulsive cycle. Listen to music, or go for a walk, or read a book. Do something that isn’t trying to prove or disprove whatever your fear is. I’m betting you’ve done this a thousand times before, and I’m betting that you still don’t have a satisfactory answer. What makes you think that this time will be different? I’m writing this to myself as much as anyone else; I just went down a reassurance rabbit hole, triggered by reading a post on here.

Why do I feel like I’m going through something different to everyone else on here. I used to relate to everyone’s posts so much and now I just don’t. Everyday gets harder but none of it makes sense, I genuinely feel my sexuality has been altered by OCD. I was perfectly happy and content with my life and then bang the ROCD and HOCD kicked in like a huge brick coming to ruin everything. And the worst part is it makes me feel so convinced, like I want it, sometimes I can’t even tell if it’s made me happy or depressed, sad or angry, anxious or excited. I feel like I’m in the deepest denial

I hate fighting whatever this is… I am so mentally tired…. I keep comfort eating…. Which caused so much weight gain.. My friend yesterday tried to trigger me saying break up but I didn’t react to it. It’s bc breaking up and saying not in love over and over again made me numb to it… I’ve dealt with a decent amount of ROCD for over 9 years with lots of intrusive thoughts. But what I am feeling now doesn’t feel the same… it feel too different some how… I know ROCD won’t be the same way each time I understand that… but why can’t I just be hap out and choose to love him… I know we have certain issues we need to work on but I don’t wanna give in to whatever this is. Even if it causes me depression. I know l love him. That’s why I don’t wanna give in.

Does anyone else constantly question things they said in past conversations and worry that they come across wrong and feel like they need reassurance that another person doesn’t hate you? For example: Tonight me and my friend has to have a tough honest conversation about boundaries and it went well. But tonight I decided to text her and just thank her for that conversation and for being honest with me about everything, and now I’m freaking out that that text was too much and she’s made at me for texting that even though it was a good text but I’m afraid that she interpreted it differently and thinks I hate her or that I’m being rude and inconsiderate or bombarding her and a bother. That convo about boundaries was hard and I just wanted to text her as a reminder that I love her and was glad we could have a talk but now I can’t stop thinking about it and she’s likely asleep and can’t respond and I need to go to sleep I have an early morning.

TW POCD I’m praying to God for help. I’m so sorry if I’ve done anything wrong it feels like I have and I’m so terrified I’ve turned into what I fear. I don’t want to be a monster. I don’t want these thoughts or weird feelings. I never have and never will. Most of my intrusive thoughts are about my niece or my family and I would never harm anyone. I would do anything to make sure they are safe. I feel like I don’t even deserve family, love, happiness, food, care, friends. I feel so disgusted. I feel distant from God now. I’m so angry and I keep asking God why me? What did I ever do to deserve this? I need help. I’m crying out for help. I don’t know if I can handle it. I got a horrible intrusive thought the other day and I felt so weird because of it. It was strange and scary. My mind keeps telling me I was aroused by it and I don’t want to be. It can’t be true. I’m crying as I’m typing this. I need a miracle. I would do anything to make this all go away. I feel shattered. I’m so sorry 💔

I’m so scared to accept uncertainty because what if it’s maybe and not maybe not…I’m absolutely terrified

All throughout the beginning of 2020 OCD did not exist in my life. As soon as August came, I've been getting OCD thoughts and I remember how it all started 100%. I never used to worry about ANYTHING in the past whatsoever and now I find myself worrying about anything and everything possible. Does that mean my worries are all irrational? Especially with things in the past? Not trying to look for reassurance. I just want to understand how this works. How can ERP get rid of it? I just don't know how.

I recently had pregnancy anxiety which lead to what if I don’t actually want to have kids with my partner. I think I do or I really hope I do , but I think there’s a lot I want to work through by myself and as a couple first and also we’re just too young and have our own issues to work through before we have kids. So of course my mind questions if I actually want kids with him

Hello, anyone have experience with Prozac? I’m on 20 right now, was started on 10 initially, very uncomfortable and anxious. I know I’ll need to up it but also need to give it some time, only been on it a few weeks. Anyone find that it really helped them and at what dose seemed to be best. My ocd is intrusive/ distressing thoughts. Thank you

Does anyone known what subtype this is and what I can do about it? So as a kid (Very young) ONCE I kissed a relative to practice kissing now OCD is calling me incest even though I had no sense of that at that age. But other than that, ocd is saying that any future relationship I get in, if me and the girl I would be dating kiss it would mean nothing because I did that. Its targeting the "first kiss thing" and so its saying since any future girl I date wont be my first kiss then it means nothing. I doesn't help that at a young age my mother used to kiss me goodnight (I believeaalot of peoples mother have) for some odd reason OCD is also attacking that.

Hey everyone. I’m feeling really down today. I got off of my medication because I couldn’t really handle the side effects, but as expected my anxiety levels are back and I’m Pmsing on top of it. I feel defeated today, and for those of you who have gone through this theme I would really appreciate words of encouragement. I don’t often feel bad for myself but today im just upset that the reality is that I have to deal with a mental disorder for which there is no cure and causes deep emotional distress for dangers that may or may even happen. It’s hard to go to school and constantly be thinking about my orientation when I do have to pay attention to class or at the very least my friends who don’t know what I have to deal with everyday in my mind. Anyways i would really like to hear from someone

Hi guys, I’ve only just installed this app, so no idea how to use it really! But I thought I’d share. For context I believe I have cheating OCD. I’m currently ruminating about whether or not to go out tomorrow, with my boyfriend and his family, for lunch, because I find his dad handsome, and even though I was planning on going before I started to stress, I suddenly had the thought “am I just going because of his dad?” Which is something I’d never do but the OCD makes me doubt myself. I also have a phobia I would say that stems from my cheating OCD of being in close proximity to people, because even like a brush from someone will make me think I’ve cheated and I did it on purpose. So I’m terrified that, if his dad ends up close to me, I’ll tell myself I leaned into him or whatever and feel awful about it for months. I always tell my boyfriend when I think I’ve cheated and according to him I never have, but I still have doubts over even that. As I’m writing this hes at a nightclub that I would’ve gone to with him if I wasn’t so afraid. I don’t know what to do. Should I go?

Hey everyone, Back in 2020-2019ish I messaged these boys who I previously “did stuff with” . Before me and my bf dated . I think one of them messaged me about homework so I tried to help (he is also friends with my bf still). So I was just trying to be nice. And the other one I was friends with for years and I told him about my boyfriend and then he messaged me about dogs and about how he was sorry if he was mean etc etc. I don’t remember my responses but I’m paranoid I sent them something inappropriate and it was wrong . A lot of people think texting people from your past is bad in relationships and I’m obsessing over this too. But I think I was just trying to be nice at the time and didn’t think much of it . My boyfriend knows all this and he does not care .

Okay I’m literally so anxious right now. I was watching porn and Before I continue it’s something that I am for sure going to stop. I am a Christian and I have felt convicted by the Holy Spirit to stop viewing it so I am no longer viewing it. But the last time I viewed it I was scrolling through videos and you know how the videos have a thumbnail, well as I was scrolling I panicked because I think or thought I saw a child on one of the thumbnails. I panicked and scrolled passed it and just got off of it all together. I’m afraid this means I viewed CP. I would never want to do that. Is there anyone that has experienced something similar? I’m trying to sit with the uncertainty. Just feel like I’m a really bad person.

I need help! Does anybody ocd obsessed with thinking?! MY BRAIN WONT STOP. Thoughts won’t stop coming in. EVERY SECOND. HELP! It’s taking away from my life!

TW POCD Adults only Really depressed today. This is probably tmi but I’m on my period and I think it’s making things worse I don’t know. Still upset about an intrusive image I had the other day that felt like I was turned on by it it felt so real! I’m just really upset 😭

I’m terrified because I read that someone was able to hide their psychosis from others so what if my psychosis related intrusive thoughts I keep to myself are actually me going crazy??? I’m really scared rn

So like roughly 2 years ago early on to me and my bfs relationship . I told my girl friend at the the time that she should get with my boyfriends friend. I did this to be nice. So my other friends made a blanket fort and I was there and the girl was there and the guy . They got real friendly real quick . And I was on the farish right laying or sitting idk which . And my boyfriends other friend was laying all the way down drunk as a skunk and throwing up. So my bfs friend and that girl started making out. I don’t remember but she asked me to cuddle I think I did but I was complaining I was cold. And when they started kissing I got up and left . I’m convinced I cheated or did something wrong 2 years later .

What does acceptance mean/ feel like? Because to me it just scares me and makes me feel like I’m giving into my OCD thoughts.

Can OCD get to a toxic stage where you’re almost annoyed that your thoughts may not be true? A bit like Stockholm syndrome?