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working to conquer OCD
Sigh can OCD give you a dream? After helping someone with their incest OCD dream my head decided to give me one and I hate it. My dream made me kiss a relative. I literally woke up like it was a nightmare because it was. Why does it happen when I get a crush? And why the heck did it seem so real.
My thoughts are so bad. I'm so paranoid I touched my bf's little sister (about 5) inappropriately about 2 years ago. I don't know. I keep switching back and forth to "that didn't happen" and "omg it happened". The anxiety feels so real and it's been over 24 hours ive been stuck on this. It wasn't any private areas. I'm just paranoid one time I was either sitting with snuggling or playing with her that I rubbed her arm/leg and my brain told me to "go higher" (like under her clothes) and I'm paranoid I did. I know it wasn't past her thigh or shoulder but I'm so paranoid. And there's no actual way for me to remember. It could have happened. Or I had an intrusive thought and didn't do it, or it didn't even happen at all. I don't think I'm attracted to children at all or anything, I don't know wtf is wrong with me. My bf is obviously very upset (rightfully so) and is considering breaking up with me for it. I need to know weather this is real or just some stupid false memory. I can't tell between the difference real and "fake" memories. My OCD (or just my brain) also tells me I'm making excuses for all my horrible mistakes by calling them "fake" memories. But I also know all of these are signs of ocd. I really hate everything right now. I'm scared to talk to my therapist because I don't want to get reported. Again I know it wasn't any inappropriate areas for sure, but I'm scared of my brains intent
Struggling at the moment with existenal OCD, can ocd turn into physcosis? Can it make you lose touch with reality and cause worse things? In such a panic at the moment
I just want to cry I donāt understand what is wrong with me I feel like Iām an actual P.. I had an intrusive thought about my kid and an urge to masterbate after and I did it was like an urgency and I felt like I had to like I was ā ok Iām gonna masterbate to thisā but as doing so I just tried to think of normal things not my child even though I was like testing thoughts going back and forth trying to determine if I liked the intrusive thoughts I feel disgusting I feel sick to my stomach I love my kids I would never hurt them so I donāt understand why I felt like that and masterbated even though i hated doing it while I was I wanted to scream and cry.. i just feel like I want to die. I donāt deserve to be a parent I never felt like this before pocd ruined my life I feel like I canāt enjoy my kids I canāt eat canāt sleep keep looking online for answers I just donāt want to be a p.. I keep feeling like what if this is who I am Iām just lying thatās why I masterbated.. I just canāt anymore I feel hopelessš¢š¢
Hey Christians! Iām currently listening to Christian music when honestly Iāve been so distant from God. I feel like Iāve let God down and Iāve been so angry because of what Iām going through. I donāt know if this is just OCD or what but while I was listening to music, my mind is trying to convince me that God is saving me from being a p or something like that. What the heck! Iām hoping that thatās just an intrusive thought. I pray to God I never have been or never will be a horrible monster. I have goals in life. Plans for my future and I feel like this theme is going to ruin that for me. I tell myself the enemy is a liar but yeah that makes me feel like Iām lying to myself to so I donāt know what to do. I donāt even want to read my bible or worship because I feel like everything gets worse when I do that stuff or even pray. The more I get close to God the more downhill everything seems to go. Itās weird! I love God I do but Iāve prayed and prayed for a miracle and I feel voiceless or hopeless at this point. I feel like Iām shut out or God doesnāt hear me. I donāt know if anyone related but if you do or understand please just send a little prayer. Iām losing hope š
Wouldnāt hocd go away on its own after 10 years?
My friends often call me an alcoholic. Iām one of the only people in my friend group that actually drink, (the rest of them smoke) but i often get mad and stressed when they tell me that. One of my biggest fears is being an alcoholic. My father abused alcohol and is why I donāt drink often, only with friends. Though they often joke around and call me an alcoholic which makes me feel so stressed. It is one of my biggest fears to be an alcoholic, and to hurt those around me because of it. My father isnāt a bad person, but Iād never want to repeat his mistakes and it terrifies me to think about doing so. Iāve told them I donāt like to be called that but they continue to do so. It hurts.
Hocd Idk what to do, i reached out to a therapist last week and he even lowered his rates to help me but i havent given him a reply yet its been 4 days, i already feel awful. I just dont think its ocd and im just gay and if its not I dont see the point in seeking help but I also cant function, struggling to do daily chores, sleeping, eating and looking like crap for months, waking up everyday hoping I find some answer or something changes and then I can make a decisive decision. I really think i will be gay even if I do ever recover but for now Im stuck and want to be out of this miserable state.
Hi guys, Iāve been wanting to get a septum piercing, but Iām aware that the person doing it will likely be tattooed and stuff, which I find really attractive and Iām scared that I might just be doing it to be in close proximity to one of these people. I have cheating ocd and I have a horrible groinal response whenever anyone goes near me which makes it way worse and convinces me more that Iāve cheated when Iāve been near people. I get thoughts like: do I like this? Am I standing here because I want them to be close to me? So as you can imagine the idea of being that close to someone who I will probably find attractive is very distressing. I also tried to āfigure it outā and when I asked myself āam I doing it because of that?ā My immediate response was āthatās a big part of itā. Is this just OCD getting in my head and twisting my thoughts? I genuinely donāt know what thoughts are my own anymore. I ask myself questions like āwould I still be going if I didnāt find them attractive and didnāt have this groinal response?ā And my immediate answer is no, but I donāt know if thatās my OCD or my genuine response. I love and care about my boyfriend so much and I donāt know what to do. What also concerns me is that I often want to do the opposite of what Iām stressed about. For example, if I am worried about going to the shops because Iām scared of people being near me for the above reasons, I want to go to them more. Am I some kind of sexual predator or am I just trying to resist against compulsions? I canāt understand myself.
Anyone else feel like itās so real.. like the thoughts and feelings. Feels like Iām in denial I hate it
A reminder to everyone on here reading through other peopleās posts looking for reassurance: put your phone down! Close the app! I know this feels like the most important thing in the world right now, but youāre just continuing the obsessive compulsive cycle. Listen to music, or go for a walk, or read a book. Do something that isnāt trying to prove or disprove whatever your fear is. Iām betting youāve done this a thousand times before, and Iām betting that you still donāt have a satisfactory answer. What makes you think that this time will be different? Iām writing this to myself as much as anyone else; I just went down a reassurance rabbit hole, triggered by reading a post on here.
Why do I feel like Iām going through something different to everyone else on here. I used to relate to everyoneās posts so much and now I just donāt. Everyday gets harder but none of it makes sense, I genuinely feel my sexuality has been altered by OCD. I was perfectly happy and content with my life and then bang the ROCD and HOCD kicked in like a huge brick coming to ruin everything. And the worst part is it makes me feel so convinced, like I want it, sometimes I canāt even tell if itās made me happy or depressed, sad or angry, anxious or excited. I feel like Iām in the deepest denial
I hate fighting whatever this isā¦ I am so mentally tiredā¦. I keep comfort eatingā¦. Which caused so much weight gain.. My friend yesterday tried to trigger me saying break up but I didnāt react to it. Itās bc breaking up and saying not in love over and over again made me numb to itā¦ Iāve dealt with a decent amount of ROCD for over 9 years with lots of intrusive thoughts. But what I am feeling now doesnāt feel the sameā¦ it feel too different some howā¦ I know ROCD wonāt be the same way each time I understand thatā¦ but why canāt I just be hap out and choose to love himā¦ I know we have certain issues we need to work on but I donāt wanna give in to whatever this is. Even if it causes me depression. I know l love him. Thatās why I donāt wanna give in.
Does anyone else constantly question things they said in past conversations and worry that they come across wrong and feel like they need reassurance that another person doesnāt hate you? For example: Tonight me and my friend has to have a tough honest conversation about boundaries and it went well. But tonight I decided to text her and just thank her for that conversation and for being honest with me about everything, and now Iām freaking out that that text was too much and sheās made at me for texting that even though it was a good text but Iām afraid that she interpreted it differently and thinks I hate her or that Iām being rude and inconsiderate or bombarding her and a bother. That convo about boundaries was hard and I just wanted to text her as a reminder that I love her and was glad we could have a talk but now I canāt stop thinking about it and sheās likely asleep and canāt respond and I need to go to sleep I have an early morning.
TW POCD Iām praying to God for help. Iām so sorry if Iāve done anything wrong it feels like I have and Iām so terrified Iāve turned into what I fear. I donāt want to be a monster. I donāt want these thoughts or weird feelings. I never have and never will. Most of my intrusive thoughts are about my niece or my family and I would never harm anyone. I would do anything to make sure they are safe. I feel like I donāt even deserve family, love, happiness, food, care, friends. I feel so disgusted. I feel distant from God now. Iām so angry and I keep asking God why me? What did I ever do to deserve this? I need help. Iām crying out for help. I donāt know if I can handle it. I got a horrible intrusive thought the other day and I felt so weird because of it. It was strange and scary. My mind keeps telling me I was aroused by it and I donāt want to be. It canāt be true. Iām crying as Iām typing this. I need a miracle. I would do anything to make this all go away. I feel shattered. Iām so sorry š
All throughout the beginning of 2020 OCD did not exist in my life. As soon as August came, I've been getting OCD thoughts and I remember how it all started 100%. I never used to worry about ANYTHING in the past whatsoever and now I find myself worrying about anything and everything possible. Does that mean my worries are all irrational? Especially with things in the past? Not trying to look for reassurance. I just want to understand how this works. How can ERP get rid of it? I just don't know how.
I recently had pregnancy anxiety which lead to what if I donāt actually want to have kids with my partner. I think I do or I really hope I do , but I think thereās a lot I want to work through by myself and as a couple first and also weāre just too young and have our own issues to work through before we have kids. So of course my mind questions if I actually want kids with him
Hello, anyone have experience with Prozac? Iām on 20 right now, was started on 10 initially, very uncomfortable and anxious. I know Iāll need to up it but also need to give it some time, only been on it a few weeks. Anyone find that it really helped them and at what dose seemed to be best. My ocd is intrusive/ distressing thoughts. Thank you
Does anyone known what subtype this is and what I can do about it? So as a kid (Very young) ONCE I kissed a relative to practice kissing now OCD is calling me incest even though I had no sense of that at that age. But other than that, ocd is saying that any future relationship I get in, if me and the girl I would be dating kiss it would mean nothing because I did that. Its targeting the "first kiss thing" and so its saying since any future girl I date wont be my first kiss then it means nothing. I doesn't help that at a young age my mother used to kiss me goodnight (I believeaalot of peoples mother have) for some odd reason OCD is also attacking that.
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OCD doesn't have to
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