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As we are slowly digested over [years and years]

Hello all, I have always found social media and news/current events to be stressful. They often make me feel a lot of existential dread and cause me to catastrophize a lot. However, I am Gen Z. I am 25 and turning 26 soon. My generation grew up with social media and it has become the only means of communication for many of us. I also live in the suburbs where almost everyone within a 5 mile radius of me is either middle aged, elderly, or under 18. I also use news regularly in my line of work at a start up. My mom keeps telling me that I should avoid news and social media altogether. For her, this is easy since all of her friends are similar in age to her and she never needed to use social media. For people like me who are socially isolated and in their mid 20’s, avoiding news and social media is impossible. Social media is a social lifeline for us in Gen Z whether we like it or not. If I avoided all social media and news, I would essentially be cutting myself off from that social lifeline, which would make me even more isolated than I already am. So how can I stay up to date on social media and news without constantly being in a state of existential dread? How can I build resilience to news and social media?

So today this morning I was doing ok till I got to a point where I ate at McDonald’s with my parents and my brother. We came out of the hospital where they have checked his pace maker. And we went to eat. I’ve asked them a question where I have told them if he could have some.. in this case they have said no he’s had enough. I have a thing if we’re I am not hungry I share. I told them “what am I doing wrong I always do something wrong?” And they said no it’s just you need to stop doing things that make me think you are doing everything wrong. In my mind I kept thinking to myself” why do I do everything wrong.. am I the case if everyone’s stress?.. what if that’s it?” Then I went to the car with that on my mind and I looked over at them with a dirty look then the escalation started from there where I started yelling and they raised there voice at me stating that you don’t do anything wrong we just don’t want you to look at us wrong. That’s when I started crying and started saying I dont want to live in the house anymore.. I need to leave I can’t be here!” Which led to me feeling anxious which led me to cry cause they said if you don’t want to talk to us then stop talking.” Then I started to let the thoughts set in my mind and started to scratch my right thigh.” Idk why but my ocd got the best of me and I started to cry again and asking myself why do I suffer and why did I do this to myself. Seems like I’m getting better and not feeling anxious or anything then boom just hits around the corner.” I feel stupid

(TW: ROCD, Religious OCD, Islam) Hello Everyone, You can refer to me as Subway, a nickname given to me by some friends I think that here would be a good place to reach out for help and discuss my issues. For starters, I am an Athiest/Agnostic, who used to previously by a Muslim but nobody knows that I am no longer a Muslim. I used to be an athiest just due to a lack of faith and questioning alot of the religion but after looking into it more I had come to my own conclusion of not to believe in Islam. Lately I've been having alot of intrusive thoughts telling me that I will revert back to Islam despite me not wanting to. Honestly I was miserable being a Muslim and after my experiences and doing my own research, I finally felt free and happy to have left the religion. My head whoever means to constantly hurt me saying that "You're gonna regret it" "You'll return to it's beauty" and "You're just not trying to follow it's rules", despite all of this I do not seek to revert back to Islam anytime soon but those thoughts still linger. Another factor that makes these thoughts so intense is that I've fallen in love with someone. Let's call this person "V" but they are the most wonderful, beautiful, smartest person I have ever met and I only hope that they feel what I feel for them. One thing that I struggle with however are my thoughts saying that "I don't want her" or "She is ugly" or "I am going to hurt her", it even connects to my religious thoughts saying that "I shouldn't be with her and prioritize God" or "I want to focus on religion" which I do not want to do. It's hard to explain but I feel myself arguing with my own mind as it constantly tries to prove to me why I'm wrong even though I'm happier being an Athiest/Agnostic person. And after finding someone who I truly love, any chance of happiness is stripped away from me. It doesn't help that I'm constantly scared because she is Hindu, and to most people I know. I am a "Muslim" so that's an issue. It just gets really lonely because nobody else seems to understand. I just want to talk to someone.

I have no idea what I want to do in my life. I never leave the house unless it’s therapy or something. I can’t drive and doubt I would ever be able to because I’m just that dumb. I’m 18, graduated this year, and have no goals at all. Nothing feels like it matters that much, I was numb during graduation, I didn’t laugh or smile, I just walked on stage and turned my tassel. Every day is blurring together, now that high school is over I have really no routine where I can connect with people. I sit at home and do dumb crafts and art, take care of my dog, play games. Sometimes I really feel like I’m dreaming while I’m still awake, absentminded and forgetting things that just happened. Some days I’m alright but then I really confront the fact that I am indeed no longer a child despite still feeling like one, I need to grow up and do things adults do. I want to do things other people my age do but I’m not like other people my age it seems. God all this useless self pity. Boo hoo. I’m just so so tired man. I don’t know what to do with my life at all. I’m not cut out for this and I’m so clueless.

Been dealing with this for a Lil over a year and I still feel alone and the only person who's dealing with this theme. I look on reddit, Google and YouTube especially ted talks to compare myself to people with schizophrenia. I read a case study where this guy thought a demon was inside his body and I was triggered and had a thought what if there's an alien in my head. It's so stupid and ridiculous but I get intense guilt for even having the thought. Then my imagination keeps coming up with intrusive images and I have thoughts I must believe it because I'm so scared. This is the worst theme

so i’ve been thinking for years that i might have ocd and i’m finally going to talk to a psychologist this month. but i have no experience with therapy at all and i’m terrible at describing how i feel in general. even when i was asked by the intake coordinator about my symptoms i had trouble articulating what i meant. it’s like as soon as someone asks me i have trouble remembering what i want to say and getting the words out. should i just make a list and read it when the time comes? i’ve also been worried because this psychologist does not specialize in ocd. she does have experience with erp and treats ocd but i’m still concerned that i won’t be understood. i’m starting to regret trying lol, can’t stop thinking about the what ifs. like what if i get misdiagnosed, or what if i’m wrong and it’s not ocd. i don’t think i would know what to do if it’s not, i’m stressed

I think I felt it but idk if I did cus idk what it feels like. It felt like nothing in my house was mine. Looking at pics of me and her it looked like I was looking at someone else. It’s like I’m forgetting my self and things that are related to me. Am I manking it up or not. Can someone help please. OCD is rlly draining.

It feels like I don’t who I am anymore. It feels like the heterosexual label just doesn’t fit me anymore. It feels like I am genuinely attracted to women. It feels like I don’t want to be straight anymore. I read about a girl who struggled with SO-OCD until she found out she was actually bisexual, the sexuality she was afraid of her being. There are so many signs pointing out that I’m actually bisexual. I feel like I actually am bisexual I just can’t accept it. I feel like I actually want to be bisexual. All my attraction towards boys feel like a lie now. But that doesn’t make sense because if I was bisexual I WOULD BE ATTRACTED TO MEN TOO. OMG DOES THIS MEAN I’M A LESBIAN WHO WAS AFRAID OF BEING BISEXUAL AND ALL ALONG I WAS AFRAID OF BEING WITH MEN?? PLS SOMEONE HELP ME I GENUINELY DON’T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE

I am just starting therapy (ERP soon) for my OCD. I keep learning new things about OCD and how it can present. I was diagnosed off-hand a long time ago but never believed in the diagnosis. I got a formal diagnosis through NOCD, and I’m choosing to jump in head first. However, I’m convinced my whole life is a lie. All of these thoughts and actions I thought were just part of who I am, are a lie. I don’t think I’ve ever known true freedom now. So much of my life has been doing things because I HAVE to. If I didn’t, I would be in distress or my life would fall apart. I’m trying to learn about OCD, but I can’t stop crying when I read a new article or watch a new video. I know it isn’t my fault. I had some health problems that literally required finding triggers and doing certain rituals so I could literally breathe. But it was so much more then and it is still so much more now. I’m super scared honestly. I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle it, but I know it is just that doubtful voice trying to keep me comfortable.

tw just in case. don’t know what to put but just proceed with caution. I’ve been obsessed with brands/companies to boycott for palestine and have been using two sources for when I shop. I am in the BDS subreddit and every time there’s a new thing and it just limits what I can buy. I’ve successfully avoided products/restaurants but I have so many questions. for example, I know coca cola is being boycotted. I have this question: what if local restaurants (which is encouraged over big names) offer coke products? do u boycott the entire restaurant, especially when they say they proudly serve it? or when u want a drink with ur combo and anything except water has a product that’s being boycotted or is from a company that’s boycotted. do u just drink water all the time? maybe these are stupid questions but I wonder all the time. I feel like it can get hard especially living in the US with many products having to be boycotted. anyway, I read posts on the BDS subreddit and I have wondered about snacks and a lot of the snacks come from boycotted companies that are all over the stores. sometimes I just want a snack especially after a long day & mental exhaustion. but then 90% of the products in store are not safe to buy. I saw comments on these types of posts of companies/snacks to avoid and people usually go “who figured giving up z!0n!$t products would make me healthier/lose weight” or “the products aren’t healthy to consume anyway. you’re better off without those products in your diet” and while they’re right, wouldn’t the same be said for safe snack products? they’re not healthy either. but yeah, finding snacks can be a hassle sometimes. and then worrying which grocery store to boycott because it’s on the list. I have donated to victims in gaza and have been trying to boycott what I can. I don’t know why but I feel bad for feeling frustrated when I find out a restaurant/company/product is on the boycott list. it’s a constant thing. now I wonder about people who buy these products? should I assume anyone who buys from these companies to be evil? for example, the company I work for has had a history of controversies with the lgbtq+ community. we get a bunch of customers everyday and I wonder if these people know? do they even care? won’t be surprised since the company is christian owned. I feel like a fraud for having spent money buying stuff at my job. all of the times were because I was just hungry. while the company stopped making donations that harmed lgbtq+, I then found out that the owner donated to something that harms the community that made me feel disgusted. ever since then, I haven’t spent a penny at work. I have been budgeting my meal allowance and that is all. I’m just so preoccupied with the what ifs and everything I buy. I’m overwhelmed and I feel like by saying this, people will say something like “u feel like this is a chore? well imagine the many kids and innocent people dying from choices like yours. you aren’t dying for boycotting this product/company.” I feel overstimulated from this. it just feels a lot with other things I have on my mind. dealing with undiagnosed mental illness and fatigue while trying my best to make ethical choices is exhausting. I don’t know if this is a case of “you need to get off the internet” or just take a break. I’m always worried about being a bad person nowadays. I feel like I over fixate on actions I feel like should’ve been avoided. ughhhhh my brain is overloaded.

So I was reading Jeremiah today cuz I haven’t really studied it before. And I feel like it was for me for having idols in my life but I don’t know how to get rid of them and if my repentance isn’t genuine cuz I always feel like I’m just gonna mess up again cuz we can’t be perfect but Christ over came sin so we can overcome too. But when I read this then I just trigger all at once what I’m doing wrong like my desires are idols probably my phone and how to I just surrender them cuz we should be doing things for the Lord and if I really love him I should just not be on my phone so much and not have hopes and dreams and be content where I am right now.

Last year, I started to get HOCD, and I didn’t know what was going on. And then a couple weeks later, my Auntie died from cancer. I couldn’t be there for her, because my mind was wrapped compulsions. And a couple of months later, I started to get Religious OCD. And I’ve been trying to do proper treatment for my OCD recovery with an other app, and 3 weeks later. I discovered that my grandmother had cancer. And yesterday, I found out that history repeat itself, because she died the following year of my Auntie’s death. First my Auntie, and now my Grandma. Why I do have OCD at times like this? Why do they have to die? Why couldn’t I be there for them? Who else is going to be next? I never wanted my Auntie or Grandmother to gone, and I never wanted OCD to get in the way. Now I really need to seek professional help with license therapists here, but I don’t know how much it’s going to cost. I know that it’s going to be expensive per session, but I do really need help.

I’m losing it, I feel like I have no idea who I am and weather I have been faking it my whole life. I saw an episode that triggered me and this guy said he realized he was gay when he was 18 and I just got sooooo anxious. Because then I asked myself did I like anyone at that age (I’m 22) I have never had a boyfriend. I feel like I’m sitting here and just lost faith in the fact that I like men. I feel like I have been lying to myself. I don’t know what to do or if I will ever get the life I have dreamt of. Help me, what do I do???!?!?!?!!! What if I’m not capable of loving a man????!!!!

Does anyone else mourn the life they could’ve had or once had before? Like if that one event or one decision never occurred, could the life I wished and dreamed for now be a reality or was it always meant to be like this? I just don’t want it to be like this forever. I tell myself “everything happens for a reason, it is what it is, in time I’ll see and it’ll all make sense” but sometimes that optimism isn’t enough. I think I get too attached, to people, places, objects, ideas, way too emotional and sentimental, and sometimes it’s just too much. I miss what could’ve been, but what can you do? I just have to try my best to fix whatever I can and keep myself together. Just feels like I’m always mourning some loss I’ve yet to understand and I just want to heal. I don’t know what it is, sometimes slips my mind if I’m lucky but there’s always this empty pit within me. Maybe it’s overthinking, maybe it’s a projection of my fears, but I don’t know, I just want to stop thinking that the worst is always coming and eventually going to happen. Anyone else?

As at the end of the day yes we are in control, but i mean with my brain. it continues to send those unwanted thoughts and every time they play through i feel nothing but complete dread as it upsets me so much i just bawl . for a week iv felt nothing but vulnerable, and i try to be reasonable and say to myself this is only a loop and you will figure it out at the end and you’ll find the light. but there’s always the other half thats like . “but what if not” “no you’re gonna get worse” . dude like what i genuinely cannot find comfort in anything and with even distractions it’s still there . i cannot feel comfortable with myself and i hate that it’s putting me in this little depressive episode. “ just accept it, and don’t fight it” “tell it i don’t know” . that never works either it’s just there it’s like a brick wall and you’re trying to push it . and if you were trying to push a brick wall what do you think is gonna happen. nothing , it’s not even gonna budge. it makes me feel hopeless, i miss who i was the week before this one.

Since i was 16 (18 now) it all started with pocd related intrusive thoughts I would have panic attacks in my closet almost every single day sat there all day every day just having horrible horrible gut wrenching anxiety all day long. I would have a thought and tell myself if were to ever harm like that that i would end my life and I would repeat it in mt head every time a thought came up. I started looking up what I was experiencing and it said something about pocd. It went from pocd to monitoring my every breath and movement for a fear I was breathing too much and people would think I was strange for breathing so heavily and it even happened when I was alone. I even hyper monitored my walking because i though people though I walked strange. It then became something that I think might be something called staring ocd. Where im afraid to look down because im afraid someone will see it as inappropriate and think Im weird. I still monitor where my eyes go 24/7 and im very hyper aware when im around people. Idk if this is a symptom or if I really am just strange but random thoughts like weird sentences about someone would just pop up and Im usually pretty harsh to myself when even the slightest sexual thought pops up now. Idk if its just a dirty mind but its images in my head, thoughts, words, sentences. I dont like them I want them gone completely if i could shut my thoughts off entirley I would. Recently I feel like I may be going through something called exstistencial ocd. A week or so back. I began looking into philosophy because it sounded interesting and that then lead into spirituality and then somehow it got into how the government was controlling us all and the free masons own everything. for about a week I was afraid the government was always watching me at night and sometimes I would get extremely paranoid. Idk what to do how to get help if I even have it. Also idk if this is a symptom of real event but if I perceive that someone thinks something I said is weird or awkward I beat myself up over it for sometimes days. Ive become extremely quiet because im afraid if I try to make a joke or say something that I will accidentally say something socially wrong or inappropriate. Im scared im miserable please help. What do I do. Does it sound like I have it?

I've been watching a lot of mainly political videos recently. It started as trying to get a better understanding of everything going on in the world and how we got here in the first place, but one of the last videos I came across was about certain hateful groups of people that are becoming more active in recent years due to varying factors. The whole video made me so uncomfortable. Rightfully so, I think, even if it was informative. But now I can't stop thinking about how scary it is that humans can be sort of indoctrinated into such hateful mindsets and views... These issues have existed for a long time in the US, but recently, I've noticed that a lot of people are being more vocal about certain discriminatory views they hold and things. Maybe I'm overloading myself with too much information. I don't know. I'm just feeling really unsettled after that video. I can't imagine ever becoming someone like that, but it scares me to think about :(

How to deal with OCD when you’re dissociating and numb and it’s going from ROCD, existential to how you hate yourself, to your whole life story trauma flooding, to retroactive jealousy, to how you never anointed to much, to how it’s hard for you to love people and not scrutinize, to how you never really did much on your own and always needed help and attention, to how you’re scared of death, to how you’re scared of abandonment and being alone, to saying if you don’t fix all these at once you’ll lose your relationship (I have CPTSD and there’s a push pull and I never had a chance to fix it) and I try to control everything. And I realize it. And it’s going on about how adulting is scary. About how I try to work and the. Quit because I’m afraid of opinions. About how I hoard. About how everything in life seems senseless. About how I can’t connect. About how I people please and about how I’m selfish. About how nothing will ever be perfect. I’m not joking when every second of my day is a FLOOD of thoughts and it’s been 46 days like this after one thought I tried to sit with spiraled me into a dissociative shutdown. I’ve had bad OCD all my life but as I got older more and more fears piled up. And my trauma is so bad. And so loud. The OCD is so bad. There’s nothing in life I don’t fear. And everything feels like a threat to me. His past. Him. And how I don’t want anyone else but my brain won’t stop ripping him apart. How “no one” will be good enough for my perfectionistic mind. I truly don’t know how the absolute fuck to get over something this severe. And I have horrific self worth issues. Bad. Like zero self worth. boundaries. Anything. I never had skills. And idk how to explain to my family how bad this OCD is. I run to my mom like a scared child. But even she can’t give me comfort because I’m in hell. And I always wanted people to help me fix things and now that I’m trapped in my own mind I can’t. I’m scared. Shitless.

I am 20 years old, for some background: I always had a hard time with relationships (friendships and family mostly ) due to people who have used , berated me in the past. Never been in a romantic relationship and I got this serious craving of wanting a deep connection. And in July I started to battle my thoughts: what if I will cheat ? What if I will ruin everything good that will come? What if I will be the toxic one ? What if I wont know how love feels ? What if I will never love ? What if I will be in only toxic relationships? And what do I do? I searched on Google.. read books..and I know I can't be like that but then I project reddit stories on myself that it will happen to me. For 2 months I felt agitated..no calm, those thoughts aren't stopping. Its about my sexuality too..I know I am straight but I kept having thoughts "what if you are in denial and you are a lesbian ? " then I research if I am attracted to girls or no signs. I am losing my mind..my therapist while she said she works with OCD she said I didnt have it because I am not a clean freak and invalidated my values about what a relationship is for me Am I going crazy ? What do i have ?