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How do you guys make your mornings less hard? The ocd and anxiety is so terrible in the mornings… how do i make my mornings better so it will make a better start of your day

Hi - I’m a Mom of 3 with Harm OCD. I’ve had OCD for a long time since I was a teen, prior to kids. It’s been harm/sexual orientation, etc. pretty much every theme at some point. My harm OCD got set off so badly by the Lindsay Clancy case back in January. It seemed to settle down for awhile and now is so bad again. I question if it’s even OCD at this point or if I’m actually an awful person wanting to do these things. I’m really struggling. The thoughts feel like urges and it’s all day long. I think of the case everyday wondering and trying to figure out if it was OCD that she had that turned into her losing control and feel sick to my stomach then panic that will be me. Any other Mom’s out there dealing with similar issues? Thank you.🤍

# So I still can’t figure out what sub-type of OCD I have and not one person has been able to tell me they get the same type of compulsions. Yet my symptoms and compulsions seem like classic OCD in that Howard Hughes or Jack Nicholson kind of way. The closest I get is Just Right OCD but even that doesn’t sound right. There is no anxiety attached to my obsessive thoughts and no intrusive thoughts unless intrusive thoughts are thoughts that trigger compulsions. Though, about 20 years ago I had relationship OCD based on past sexual relations. I forgot about that until recently when I started to explore my OCD. I think I also have mental hoarding OCD. I spend at least an hour a day on a diary and often even up to 2 hours even when I don’t have time. This becomes my ultimate priority of the day. I never really saw it as a big problem. It’s this new version of OCD with the mental routines which is really troubling. I seem to have more a compulsive/ritual based/mental routines base. Though I do have an obsessive nature the obsessions don’t seem to have a nexus with the compulsions I am doing every day. The compulsions are mostly in my head and like Mental rituals - sequencing and arranging thoughts into a particular order. Anything can fail the routine and to have to start again. I do these routines during various transits to the day - before meals, before I leave the house (routines relating to my cats to say goodbye for the day for example), before bed, while I am cooking, before I sit down to eat. Etc etc These mental routines typically have affirmations to them ‘thank you for my family, thank you this meal, thank you for this day’ It kind of sickens me that gratitude triggers my OCD. Happiness also triggers it with ‘thank you mental routines’ There are ad hoc routines triggered by thoughts and then there are set routines - every time before I leave the house, eat a meal, before I go to bed. The mental rituals usually have a theme of death. Thoughts of death or deceased people or even old people will reset the routine. Coughing, an itch, my phone giving me a notification will also fail the routine and I start over again. It almost feels like I am playing a game with obstacles but I can’t move on to the next thing until I complete the routine. What sub type do I have ? Do I even have OCD? Why is it never mentioned on NOCD? I hear a lot about taboo OCDs on NOCD but hardly ever anything about stepping over lines or mental routines. Is my OCD type rare??

So I don't have this issue any more but wanted to share my experience as I've come through the other side with this. When I was between 14 and 16 years old I had voices in my head. They would tell me to do the worst stuff you could possibly think of. They were usually louder when I was alone, trying to sleep or with the light off. I had a counselling and art therapy to help and they did nothing but get me mornings off of school. I had one main voice that I can compare to a villain in a Disney like film or jack ripper if I were to be extreme about it, then there was this weasely voice that I felt was a hype man for the other, whispering stuff in its ear or cheering it on. I never gave in once to their demands and every night for 2 years my mind was like a war zone. 4 hours sleep at most a night. I'd usually sleep at school because the noise drowned them out. Now I knew that these voices were my thoughts but I felt as if I couldn't control them. Felt as if I had been reincarnated at some times from a very evil person and they were trying to reclaim my life as theirs. One day at school I opened up to a friend about them and he directed me to another friend of ours, he wasn't a close one but he was nice. He told me to imagine a door and picture these voices on one side, and on the other side imagine the most powerful thing you can think of. It could be an army, god, nukes, anything. Once I had this pictured in my head he said open the door. Now, I didn't think much of it at that point but I didn't hear the voices that night, or any night after. They were just gone. I still don't fully understand it but a mental exercise from a 15yr old did better than the therapists I had for 2 years. I was free from them finally. But my fascination with the outcome turned into an obsession with mental health so 🤷‍♂️and I researched the hell out of how the mind works because to me it was magic and wanted to kind of debunk it and see if I could help others. A few months later I felt alone and asked for the voices to come back. They didn't. I pretended they did, but they didn't. Apparently voices are quite common and a few of my friends had them and I didn't know about it. I knew my first girlfriend did and that's kind of how we bonded. As amazing as she was I do not recommend forming a relationship on how unstable you both feel 🤣🤣 I was a kid and did kid things. Lesson learned. I also had a friend who tried burning down the school because his voices told him to. Wasn't successful but the drama class was a bit smokey for a while. I also recommend that you don't do what he did either. Fast forward 17 years and I get voices again. This time it sounds different and it's only one. I threatened this one by saying I got rid of voices before and can do it again. It went away for a few days and came back. I did get rid of them again but this time the solution was different. The voice had an emotion behind it and I felt I had to read into that emotion rather than the words used. I asked myself why I would feel that way/ that emotion and solved the issue. The voice is now gone within 2 weeks of it starting. Turns out I was in love with my friend and didn't want to accept it as if I were to get into a relationship with her at the time I'd only push her away as I didn't know how to get better then and felt my compulsions would push her away. That scared the hell out of me and my ocd was acting like some firewall trying to protect me from that "threat". To summarise : My first set of voices were triggered by me not feeling good enough and guilty for something quite innocent when I was much younger. Visualisation exercises got rid of the first. Arguing with them and having a screaming match in my head every night didn't work. The recent one was because of my fear of losing my best friend. I read into the emotion behind the voice rather than the actual things it was saying. I hope this helps someone as I don't see a lot on here about it.

Hey, unsure if anyone will read this, but hi I'm phoebe , I have ocd contamination and phobias, alot of phobias around taking any medication. Well I went to my psychologist like a week ago and she put me on medicine but I of course did what I always do and looked up reviews, ect and im just so scared to take. It's to help stabilize my mood woth other off label things that could really help but I am TERRIFIED. I can't get past just taking it I of course talk my self out of it Is it the right medication for me? Do I even have any issues? And all the what ifs Sometimes I feel like I'll aways be in this cycle. Anyways good night and thanks for reading if you did 💗

Last night, I was awake until 4am. Not because I wasn't tired, but because OCD & anxiety tried to keep me awake. This is what frustrates me most; when I'm tired, or I want to relax, I almost can't. I simmer in anxiety until I either 1) sleep or 2) find something stimulating enough to take my mind off of the cycle of OCD. I ended up researching the different subtypes of OCD, and I've found that I have 3 main types that I deal with every day. And I'm so thankful for NOCD, and this forum, because it's SO HARD to explain how the OCD mind works to people who don't have it. Rumination, intrusive thoughts, and reassurance, I think, are my 3 main battles. I've been clinically diagnosed, and was diagnosed at 13 or 14 years old. I'm in my 20s now. Does anyone else notice that, depending on the day, you worry or obsess over different things? Or EVERYTHING, all at once? For example, if I haven't eaten, or if I haven't slept well for a night or two, my worries are genuinely worse. Or, depending on my stress level, obsessions can be worse. I've figured out that when I think I'm disassociating, it's not actually TRUE disassociation; it's the fact that OCD causes me to be "in my head" 24/7. It isn't that I'm not aware of my surroundings. It's that my mind is ALWAYS preoccupied. I used to have really severe compulsions as a teenager. When I'd get an intrusive thought, I would physically flinch. Almost like my brain was an Etch-A-Sketch, and I had to move my body physically to fight off the thoughts. I can manage it fairly well without medication. I'm currently not taking anything, besides vitamin D & Omega 3 supplements. Those seem to do fine, for me, personally! I just pray for better days, usually. I try to do what I can to combat the disorder.

Trigger warning! Please don’t read this if you’re not scared of plants. You don’t want any new obsessions! . . . I got off the bus stop the other day and had to walk a small path down to the road. I passed some verges and didn’t think twice about it, until later when I saw a lot of apiaceae family plants growing. And my thoughts went to the various poisonous plants in that family, like hemlock and such. After work I went back to the bus stop (shouldn’t have done that) to check and yes there were some apiaceae growing there. I’ve been googling images for hours trying to figure out which one it was. I can’t figure it out anymore because I forgot exactly what the leaves looked like. I washed my clothes in the washing machine and am scared to use them now. I want to throw my shoes out… I don’t know how to overcome this one. The risk is so huge to me. Any tips?

What are some ways that have helped you overcome the fear that your child will be abused/SA? If you are a survivor of childhood abuse/SA—Do you feel that fear is worse because you’re a survivor? Thank you in advance! I became a parent this year & since my child has reached 2-3 months these fears have been eating me alive. As a survivor myself, I feel my trust level is on 0 because of my abuser.

This is my first time posting. Mainly just want to get my thoughts out about my particular circumstances in hopes of gaining clarity or possibly helping someone else. I’ve always battled with anxiety and depression off and on my whole life and the OCD has only been around the last 5 years. Recently, I discovered through testing that I have a MTHFR gene mutation which long story short just means my body doesn’t naturally methylate fully on its own, so I have to take certain vitamins in their active form and avoid anything that creates inflammation in the body which exacerbates the symptoms of the mutation. The big thing is that the process of methylation has everything to do with creating dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine neurotransmitter, so basically those with the mutation are prone to having anxiety and depression. My big aha moment is that my entire life I haven’t even had a fighting chance to find joy and contentment because of this which is both disheartening but also relieving to know that there’s a chance to overcome it. I’m really hoping after making the appropriate lifestyle changes and supplementing correctly I will begin to feel joy and hope again which will then in return help me fight my OCD. The occasional days when I do feel a serge of serotonin, I’m able to rolls my eyes and laugh at the things that would normally trigger me, as the weight is lifted and my racing thoughts soften. If anyone else here has the mthfr mutation, how have you dealt with it?

Does anyone else’s cause them to “obsess” over health, what’s happening with the body, the need to triple and quad check pulse etc? How do I stop! I spend every second of the day over it. It’s a lot, down to legit using the bathroom. I mean, I obsess over it. Have to check so many times etc. everything!

Lately I have been at work or home and there will be a lot of background noise like a fan or generator and it will almost sound like voices in the background I know nothing is there but my mind will make it sound like a conversation that I can’t make out is happening I will become hyperaware of all the sounds around me and it is starting to worry me a lot, this has happened to me before and it went away but now I am getting pretty worried about it does anyone have and advice or knowledge on this

I’m feeling so overwhelmed and sad. My thoughts are causing me such distress and sadness. This is not me, but I am having a hard time remembering who the real me is. I feel hopeless and terrified. I started some medication over the weekend and I have my first appointment with my therapist tomorrow, but it is taking everything I have to hold on. I can’t imagine feeling like this every day for the rest of my life. I’m sorry for the drama, but I could use a little pep talk from someone who has gotten through this and is on the other side of it. All I want to do is feel like myself again.

Well my OCD is odd. I’m sure everyone says the same thing. I’ve tried to identify it but about as close as I get is to Just Right OCD but even that doesn’t sound right. There is no anxiety attached to my obsessive thoughts and no intrusive thoughts unless intrusive thoughts are thoughts that trigger compulsions. I seem to have more a compulsive/ritual based disorder. Though I do have an obsessive nature the obsessions don’t seem to have a nexus with the compulsions. The compulsions are mostly in my head and like Mental rituals - sequencing and arranging thoughts into a particular order. Anything can fail the routine and to have to start again. There are ad hoc routines triggered by thoughts and then there are set routines - every time before I leave the house, eat a meal, before I go to bed. The mental rituals usually have a theme of death. Thoughts of death or deceased people or even old people will reset the routine. Coughing, an itch, my phone giving me a notification will also fail the routine and I start over again. It almost feels like I am playing a game with obstacles but I can’t move on to the next thing until I complete the routine. What sub type do I have ? Do I even have OCD?

I have had a crappy week with an OCD spike and allllllll the accompanying anxiety and depression and shame that goes along with it. I am the queen of just pushing those feelings down and refusing to deal with it, but I think I have reached my max. Last night I finally unloaded a lot of this on my husband and told him how I was feeling. I was so scared to share with him and worried about how he would take what I had to tell him. He was amazing and supportive and had me set up a telehealth appointment this morning and a consultation with NOCD this afternoon. I know I am taking steps to feel better, but this morning still feels really hard. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I don’t want to seek reassurance, but I would really love to hear from someone who has had some success in getting this under control. All I can think is that my husband deserved better and that I am a burden and he shouldn’t have to deal with this. Yet all I want is to feel happy and more carefree again like I did a week ago. It wasn’t like the thoughts were gone, but I had them under control. They weren’t causing me to be in this anxious doom spiral like they are now. I am just feeling sad and hopeless, like this is what my life is going to be like forever. And I hate that.

Hi all, what is the best medication for OCD I’m currently taking lexapro 20mg. It does the job for the most part but not fully. Not looking for a miracle potion but just thought I’d ask what everyone else’s experience’s were and if any in particular work better for this shitty condition. Thanks !

How do you deal with a demanding job while having such a crippling disorder? I am taking a leave of absence for several weeks to do partial hospitalization but I’m worried I won’t be well enough to return to work. I’m really scared of losing my job. I really am doubting whether I am adept enough to do my job now that my OCD has been triggered (was OCD free for most of my life)

Im constantly looking for reassurance online and to see if I can beat these intrusive thoughts or if I'm stuck with them forever. I always seem to find lots of different answers some being positive success stories and then some negative ones which then make me lose hope . I've definitely been doing some erp as I laugh off the thoughts in my head and expose what ever the thought might be but I get scared thinking for how long am I going to be doing this and when will the thoughts not enter my head anymore so I can live a normal life and be the happy joker that I was . My intrusive thoughts are often around my children and they can be sexual or violent . I know I wouldn't ever hurt my children in anyway but it makes me angry just having the thoughts .

Sometimes I feel like I'm just shamelessly confessing horrible things instead of dealing with my OCD. I'm sorry it's just another one of those times where I feel like I've been on this app too much. I see things that people post and it makes me feel bad. I don't want to be one of those people who admit to horrible things just to admit them because I do feel a lot of shame. But I feel if I let it go then I can move on from it. I feel like I'm a bad person sometimes. I want to get better I really do.

How do you deal with your coworker(s) disliking you/giving you the cold shoulder after a misunderstanding? I care about my reputation and what ppl think of me (even after I stop working with them). I wouldn't care as much but I work with them and I can't stand walking on egg shells around ppl for 8-10 hrs a day! My anxiety kicks in and my mind starts to spiral and create scenarios and reasons as to why this person is treating me this way. I would say something but I I'm not confrontational.

So I ruminate about morals and constantly try to "level up" my moral code by humouring and basically conversing/ figuring out my intrusive thoughts. If other. People's morals or genuinely innocent mistakes don't align with mine I get very triggered. Evil is the indifference of good men, according to my ocd. If they do something wrong I point it out as I feel like they're not aware and try to help them see the error in their ways so they can improve themselves like I feel like I do when I ruminate. If they don't agree I get angry very fast because I feel like they compromise me as a person. I have known there was something slightly different about me and tried self diagnosing most of my life but nothing really fit until I figured out I had ocd. There's a musician called NF that my friend introduced me to that actually helped as he raps about OCD. I am now getting therapy for Ocd and I'm determined to not only hit remission but to cure it. I don't care for the stats. There have been good days and bad and it's all progress. Identifying triggers isn't so bad but identifying my compulsions has proved challenging. The friend I have that helped me figure out I had ocd, I used. I get self centred with my own ruminations and make conversations about me to try figure myself out. I've done this over and over and pushed people away. This woman, I fell on love with and was probably in love with for a while before I told her but couldn't figure it out or acknowledge it because my brain had trained itself to avoid fear and anxiety over the course of 27 years. I was compartmentalizing and not realising. I had snapped at this woman, someone who wanted to help me out, one too many times. She is now not talking to me and may never again. I can compartmentalize my love her and avoid dealing with heart break pretty much on command but I'm choosing not to as I've discovered its a form of avoidance and I'm using it as exposure therapy. I want to know if she'll be in my life but haven't messaged her once. I need to learn to live with anxiety and uncertainty and trying to change my relationship with fear. This woman saved my life and she doesn't even know it. I found out I had ocd because of her, I wanted therapy so I didn't lose my friendship with her like I had with others before. My fear of losing her and the way my brains been trained to deal with fears made it hard for me to realise I loved her. I felt as if I would ruin the relationship because I knew I wasn't quite right. I actually lost her because I was scared and projecting my fears. I'm going to get better for me but because of her. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm going to beat ocd and I don't think it's the fight I thought it was. You don't fight the intrusive thoughts, you allow them in like anything else and make light of them. The compulsions need to identified and stopped. Hold off until you can't anymore, until you're going to have a panic attack, then hold off longer. Don't reassure yourself, encourage yourself, tell yourself, bring it on, is that all you got? " I experimented with exposure therapy and a phobia I had for years just to test it out as that's fear based too. It subsided on 4 minutes. Erp works. You can practice it with anything. Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, scared or fills you with anxiety on a day to day basis, don't walk away from it. Don't seek comfort, seek discomfort. Don't look for your metaphorical comfort blanket. You'll be surprised and yes there is a learning curve with this but you'll figure it out. My friend gave me the key to get out of the cage I put myself in when I was 6. The cage I've slowly turned into a Palace over the years, my comfort zone. And as I've been renovating it, it's been pulled further and further into my own personal hell. I've stepped out of my caged Palace for the first time, not even knowing I was in one, or in hell. Now my journey begins and I will get myself out of this, I will get myself better. Screw the stats and keep moving. Every time I feel like relapsing, she pops into my head and push through it. I relapse occasionally but they are becoming less frequent the more I'm educated on my condition. I'll be free one day. Just keep moving because no one got anywhere by standing still.