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does anyone else feel the need to share unnecessary thoughts with their boyfriend because they feel guilty for their thoughts?

I get scared that what if i'm just in denial and can't accept the truth. Like, yea I could still have OCD too but what if the POCD is just me in denial, I could still have both disorders. I'm sure there are p words (I hate this word) out there who also have OCD. I don't even know exactly what triggered this and how it manifested. I mean I sort of have an idea but it doesn't feel like the exact pin point. I don't want to be that. I think the scariest part about having a disorder like that is that it's unfixable and you just have to live with it even if you don't want it. You didn't ask to be made that way you're just written like that. By god? It could be anyone. Another scary thought is that that was a child once, that was someone's baby, and they grew up to be a failure, a horrible human being. I hope I don't come off as sympathizing with these people, I hate them the most and they disgust me, growing up as a girl in an unsafe area like where I live im surrounded by those type of people a lot so I'm just constantly alarmed and hyper aware of situations, and I have "what if" thoughts about the men in my life (family, teachers, even male therapists) but now that fear has manifested to ME being the creep. it's just scary being born that way. And you can't do anything about it, even if you do get help, you're always gonna be stained.

How do you deal with your coworker(s) disliking you/giving you the cold shoulder after a misunderstanding? I care about my reputation and what ppl think of me (even after I stop working with them). I wouldn't care as much but I work with them and I can't stand walking on egg shells around ppl for 8-10 hrs a day! My anxiety kicks in and my mind starts to spiral and create scenarios and reasons as to why this person is treating me this way. I would say something but I I'm not confrontational.

hey, I have been having really bad thoughts religiously. I have always been afraid I was gonna commit the unforgivable sin, which was blasphemy against the holy spirit. I have horrible intrusive thoughts, and always being worried the devil will take over or possess me. I feel like everytime I get a intrusive thoight I must apolgize to God asap, multiple times. I find myself, doing it for hours. It always has to do with numbers. I also have a hard time walking through doorways, or getting into or out bed multiple times or i’m afraid God won’t forgive me. I also have a really hard time writing the word God, or praying cause I have to picture God correctly, and make sure it’s not the devil so I know i’m praying to God. Is this something you guys are experiencing too?

I’m not on medication, but I’ve been told by friends that it’s probably a good way to go and I have no issues with taking it. I just need to talk to my dad about it, and he’s one of those “deal with it like a man” people. How do I go about this? Any help is greatly appreciated

So I stared of with really bad intrusive thoughts I was always panicking having hot flashes random words thoughts and images would pop into my head if seemed to control that now and get less stress and anxiety but I feel like I have got hocd I am always getting groanel responses and I always randomly start twitching. I am always checking if I’m Aroused or if I’m not sometimes my groanel response almost more stronger kinda little tingling it’s just a weird feeling what also coming with groanel response is a lot of anxiety can anyone help or tell me what I have maybe ?? It’s a struggle I’m only 16 too

Hi I’m new to this app. I’ve been struggling so much with ROCD, or I think I am anyway, my brain is running 100mph constantly I can’t even distinguish if these are my thoughts or not but I’m so scared. I got into my current relationship with my boyfriend 8 months ago we were friends prior- he is the most understanding and loving person I’ve ever met. All of my relationships prior to him weren’t great, the one before him was long term and I felt very ignored and unloved the entire time. I struggled so much with health ocd at the start of our relationship- and I’ve started to come over it and now I’m struggling so much with Relationship ocd. Constant thoughts of if we should be together , or if I should be with my ex( who made me so miserable and sad) or if I even love him or am attracted to him anymore! It’s crazy because he’s been the only relationship I ever had who has been so loving and caring and understanding towards me. I feel so cruel and evil, and I can’t understand why I am having these feelings I love him so much and he’s been here for me so much yet my brain keeps telling me we need to break up or I should be with my ex who made me so miserable and sad, or that I don’t even love him! Has anyone else struggled with this and have any tips or advice? I love him so much and want this to work more than anything in the world and I’m so scared my ocd will ruin us.

I simultaneously want so much reassurance and to fully avoid talking about our relationship entirely. Does anyone ever experience this? Also, my ruminating is so bad if anyone has tips on how to catch and respond to ruminating please share!

Has anyone been struggling with their partners or family members in term of their ocd? My boyfriend and I have been going through a rough patch especially since I got diagnosed with OCD. And I try so hard not to let my compulsions and reassurance seeking compulsions come onto him. Especially lately any comment I make or question I make that has some revelance to my OCD, somehow triggers him and causes a whole argument. I try not to cause the argument or even make comments anymore because of how I feel he will respond. And I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m trying so hard not to even say anything while he is rambling on AFTER the fact, that I said “something about my ocd.” Because I don’t want to give into it and I’m practicing so hard on my ERP’s and not giving into compulsion. But he is making is so hard for me and I don’t know what to do. He said he still wants to be with me and what not. I’m just over it, and for once I’d like if someone could support me instead of going against me. Please let me know if someone else is dealing with this.

Good morning, I’ll be honest, this feels odd because I’ve never written any of this out before. I’ve never enjoyed journaling as it was difficult for me to be unbiased in my writing. To introduce myself, I am a 23 year old Registered Nurse who just graduated college this past year. I began my first nursing job this past fall with a job I couldn’t wait to start. It was on a cardiac/intensive care unit and I was ecstatic to have been given the opportunity as a new graduate nurse. As my start date approached, my anxiety built but I knew it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. I had become comfortable with this feeling. As long as I can remember, my mind has forever been flooded with doubt. When I was young I was shy and always played by the rules, deeply fearing upsetting or disappointing any authority figures. My anxiety would fill me to the brim every day, and only some days would I at least be able to bury it deep enough inside to function. I remember the first time I threw up at school. It was first or second grade, and I was sitting in the front of the classroom as I tended to do. I slowly felt the nausea coming on and that’s when the thoughts would start. “YOU’RE GOING TO THROW UP”, “THE NAUSEA IS GETTING WORSE”, “EVERYONE IS GOING TO WATCH YOU GET SICK”. I felt as though my brain was chasing itself around in loops until I would inevitably believe the ideas. I knew I was going to vomit but was still so scared of upsetting the teacher I raised my hand and stayed in my seat. She eventually allowed me to go and as soon as I stood up, I threw up on the floor right next to the girl sitting next to me. I’d never felt so embarrassed, ashamed, and humiliated in my life. It would turn out, that feeling would not be unique to this one moment. I have hundreds, if not thousands, of similar stories whether they ended in mental triumph, physical defeat, or were visible to anyone else or not. This went on for years with various degrees of understanding by family, friends, doctors, and myself. This lead to shame, embarrassment, and wondering what was wrong with me. Why was I different than every other kid. When I got to middle school, I went to a psychiatrist for the first time. I never remember being told an official diagnosis, just told “anxiety” and started on a low dose SSRI. I remember feeling that my psychiatrist was nice enough, but seemed to not ask much about the thoughts going on in my head as much as the exterior symptoms and implications in life. I did feel some relief from my overall anxiety levels with the SSRI but my obsessions didn’t disappear. I assumed the other problems I still had were just my own fault. While I could go more in depth into middle and high school, it would take much too long and isn’t necessary to understand the whole story. In college I met the most incredible woman in the world on my 3rd day on campus. Never in my life had I met someone who seemed to completely understand me. She understood every feeling I’ve ever felt and every thought I’d ever had because she had felt it too to some degree. Understanding my mental obsessions of repeating certain words, counting, and intensely ruminating among others. I had never really discussed these thoughts before as nobody had asked me about them and I assumed it was related to my anxiety. But, it was the first time I ever felt completely accepted, understood, and in company with someone who thought like me. After graduating college, we moved in together while she started her next tier of education and I began my job. When I started on my floor, the anxiety was intense but I still felt like if I really pushed myself, I would be able to get through it. Every day would begin with my alarm going off, heart pounding, and short of breath. That’s when the ruminating starts. Multiple streams of thoughts from each dark corner of my brain, coming together to create one chaotic tortuous mind. “WHAT IF YOU MESS UP AND KILL SOMEONE”, “EVERYONE ON THE FLOOR PROBABLY HATES YOU”, “YOU ARE SUCH A TERRIBLE NURSE”. This is also accompanied by the comically mundane thoughts such as 3 words from a Bob Dylan song repeating incessantly for nearly 2 weeks, sounding just as loud. This began to become debilitating. Every single action I performed was intensely scrutinized by myself to the point of impairing me in the things I truly need to be thinking about. For example: Administering an IV Antibiotic - Step 1: Remove sterile cap from vial Step 2: Attach vial to ordered fluid bag Step 3: Mix/spike bag/prime tubing Step 4: Clean IV access with isopropyl alcohol for 30 seconds and allow to thoroughly dry. Step 5: Attach tubing/program pump Step 6: Ruminate whether you cleaned the IV access Step 7: Worry you accidentally introduced bacteria into the access point because you didn’t clean well enough. Step 8: Go back into the room 10 minutes later to check you actually set the pump correctly. Step 9: Convince yourself that potential adverse health outcomes are your fault. Step 10: Don’t Sleep This is just one example of an action when it happens with hundreds of things I do during a shift. These thoughts became so intense that they would never cease during wake or slumber. My nightmares involved making mistakes at work, and I would fall asleep and wake up to the same rumination about decisions I have made in the past, mainly relating to work. I eventually got to my breaking point when my obsessive thoughts turned to self harm. “KILL YOURSELF” would just repeat over and over again in my head like a broken record. I had never had suicidal thoughts before and started to become scared of myself. I planned to quit my job but my manager encouraged me to take medical leave instead which is what I chose to do. After finally navigating the healthcare system myself as a patient instead of a nurse, I was recommended to a neuropsychologist. Following neuropsychological testing, my diagnosis of OCD was clear to my provider and to myself after further introspection. While my outlook on my treatment is more positive than ever, I am not sure what the next step will be for me. My medical leave extends through the end of this month if I choose not to extend it, and I am beginning ERP next week along with the updated SSRI prescription I am currently on. I know I don’t want to go back to the cardiac/intensive care floor I was on previously but I worked so hard for my nursing degree and want to make sure I put it to use. I have no experience with ERP and no idea of a timeline and still feel overwhelmed at this point. Alongside dealing with family relationship issues at the same time, sometimes it feels too difficult to conquer. That’s pretty much where I’m at now. Thank you if you read this far, I appreciate the space to vent. Recognizing who I am and who I am not, the experiences I’ve gone through and how they molded me, and accepting myself is the biggest thing I am trying to do now. Thank you for listening and I wish you all the best on your own individual journeys as well. ❤️ -Aidan

TW // angel numbers // mention of death I was recently diagnosed with OCD caused by PTSD. I’ve never told anyone my story because I feel like it’s such a specific obsession/compulsion that not many people relate to. I want to tell my (extremely long) story in hopes that someone else who may be experiencing this won’t feel so alone. Over 10 years ago, I met a guy on Omegle. It was weird, but we continued to communicate over the years by coming in and out of each other’s lives. We never met in person, but we loved each other deeply. In 2020, I hadn’t talked to him for a while but I randomly saw a Snapchat story of his. He sent me a message shortly after saying “hey stranger” and we quickly reconnected. It was like no time had passed, but we had both been through some serious life experiences since the last time we had talked. Within months, we were talking about our relationship and our future together just like we did when we were younger, but this time we were old enough and had the means to carry out these plans. Shortly after, I noticed a change in his behavior. I saw him commenting on other girl’s posts while he was still telling me he was in love with me and while we were making plans to be together. I came to find out that he was on tinder. I confronted him and he claims he deleted it by sending me screenshots of it being deleted. I believed him. Weeks later, our communication ended. I felt sick and abandoned by the one person I’ve truly loved. Months later, he wished me a happy birthday and I said thank you out of obligation. 7 months later, I got this overwhelming feeling that I needed to check up on him. I went to his Instagram page and scrolled to the tagged photos. There it was- something I never thought I’d have to face. I saw multiple posts saying goodbye to him as he had passed away in an accident a couple weeks prior. I felt my world crash. No matter how bad he hurt me, I felt that the love of my life was gone and I would never get to meet him, touch him, hold him, kiss him, or experience life with him. All the things I had wished to experience with him were now just a dream. I started trying to find ways of coping with his death. I reached out to his mom and she told me that he had always said he was going to marry me. I couldn’t even imagine what his family was facing. I needed comfort in any way possible. Tiktok was becoming more popular at the time and so was the practice of spirituality and witchcraft. I ended up on that side of tiktok and indulged myself in it. I started asking the universe for signs and I started asking him to send me signs if he was okay. I asked him to send me 444 as a sign that he was with me. Within days, I was seeing 444 everywhere. I started relying on seeing 444 for comfort. I would talk to him as if he was near me. After some time, I met a new guy. In this situationship, I asked the “universe” or “my guides” for signs that meant specific things, such as 973 meaning that my relationship with this new guy would work out and that 733 meant we were soulmates. It started getting really out of hand. I would start my mornings scrolling through tiktok looking at the numbers of likes, comments, and shares on videos looking for these numbers. I needed to see these numbers every day because (in my mind), if I didn’t see it, we wouldn’t be together and I wasn’t okay with that. At first, it started off as numbers only meaning good things, but when I noticed something off in this new situationship, I asked for a sign of 358 if there was a “third party” involved (simply put- if he was seeing someone else). But I also asked for the sign of 235 if he wasn’t seeing someone else. I started seeing both of the signs, but it was confusing as the meanings were completely opposite and contradictory of each other. I started feeling crazy because I was seeing both of these signs. Over time, that situationship ended but I would still see the signs like 973, 733, 358, and 235. I felt crazy. A couple months later, I flew to a different state for a festival and reconnected with an old friend. I met him in 2008 and I remember being so head over heels for him (let’s call him A). I still think he was my first love. We “dated” in middle school, but it didn’t last long. We stopped contact and he got a girlfriend a couple years later. They were together for like 7 years, but he and I would talk every now and then just casually. We met up once or twice while they were together but just as friends. They broke up around 2019 and we got in contact again. I had moved a couple hours away from home, but he came to visit me in my new house. This was the first time we ever had hung out as more than friends. We would talk every few months and he mentioned he has moved to a different state (which brings me back to the beginning of this paragraph lol). I knew he lived in the state that I was going to for the festival, so I texted him and asked if he was available. I skipped a whole day and a half of the festival to see him. It was the happiest I had been in years. I remember the love I felt and I felt so alive. It felt like a break from the obsession with seeing angel numbers regarding my last situationship. I flew back home but A and I kept texting almost daily. We planned for him to visit a couple months later and he did. Then I went back out there a few months after that. Everything felt like it was getting serious with us. Soon enough, I started creating new angel numbers regarding the relationship with A. Like before, the numbers started out having only positive meanings. Come to today, I moved out to the state where he lives and we now live together. But I have constant fears from previous experiences. I ask the universe, spirit guides, God – whatever or whoever I’m asking – to show me numbers like 838 if he’s cheating or 482 if we’re going to break up. Some days, I see these numbers EVERYWHERE and I become so filled with anxiety and fear. I feel like I can’t escape it. Part of me shuts down like my world is ending. I look at every license plate I pass, every price tag, numbers or likes/comments/shares on social media posts, the time- anything with numbers. Often, I’ll open apps just to search for numbers like they’re a sign. I started becoming obsessed with asking pendulum readers and tarot readers on tiktok questions like “is he cheating”. One person said that he was being intimate with someone else and from that point on, I became obsessed with asking for a sign of 838 if he’s cheating or 228 if he isn’t. But I see both everywhere, it makes me feel like the universe is playing games with me. Here’s my biggest issue: Part of me wants to believe that these are just numbers and it doesn’t mean anything, but then that would mean that the good numbers don’t mean anything… like 443 meaning we’ll stay together happily, or 228 meaning he’s not cheating. I’m at a loss and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t been able to find treatment. I haven’t told A that I’m experiencing this… part of me wants to but I don’t know how he’d react. It’s like a constant battle. Anyways, if you’re here, thank you for reading. You’re officially the first to know my story ❤️ I hope it wasn’t a rambling mess.

I am scared. I love my fiancé. I love everything about him with my heart and soul. I just feel so empty. I have ROCD if you haven’t noticed lol. I keep going in cycles and phases where I feel ok with my past trauma regarding my ex partner, and feeling like maybe the trauma is still there. If you’re asking now at this point if there’s any feelings involved- no. I don’t feel romantic feelings of the sort. But, I am so scared. I am scared to see this person in public, so I don’t go out. I am scared to think about this person because what if I am thinking about them because I want them? It’s triggering, and I always make sure to not ruminate. But, as I meditate and I do ERP, I find myself feeling more lost and more susceptible to the pain of it. The trauma does not pain me anymore, it’s the thought that I might never be able to give my fiancé the life he wants. So, now I have to contemplate giving up a future that I have thought about. Waiting to make the engagement public to my family, for absolutely nothing. I love this person, they have been pure and honest and open. I am young, still. What if I am just with the wrong person, and this isn’t the person for me? It’s all a facade and delusion the COUNTLESS times I have redirected my thoughts to just tell them “You’re wrong, I love this man.” As I sit here, on the verge of crying, I wonder…. Is it even OCD, or am I just a bad person for concealing the thoughts and not giving it direct attention? Most importantly, is the man I love the one for me? Or is it truly all a joke?

I’ve had these really overwhelming and difficult thoughts regarding my ability to care and empathize with others. These thoughts are new and I never ever had any problem with thinking this way up until a month or so ago. Basically, I’ve convinced myself that I fake empathy and when I can understand how a person is feeling, the only reason I bother is because I’ve been conditioned to and I want validation. The only reason I do good things and show kindness to other people is so that I’m liked and appreciated because I don’t want them to be mad at me or dislike me. I’ve been incessantly researching antisocial personality disorder and reading about “sociopaths” online so much that I downloaded a chatbot app for when I have questions that I can’t get an explicit answer for. And when I feel sympathy for others I believe it’s all because I’ve been conditioned to feel that way and I don’t want something like that happening to me. And my brain also goes through a sequence of “since I don’t want something like that happening to me, that’s why I treat people good.” But then my brain says “but if there weren’t repercussions for your actions, you wouldn’t really care about whether or not you treat people well.” And I end up defaulting on that. Also, whenever something happens that causes people emotional distress, like something violent or harmful, I usually check to see my reactions and oftentimes I don’t actually have a strong one which causes me great distress. I’ve always struggled with feeling my emotions, unless they’re happy ones and I never really know how I’m feeling and with stuff like this that you can’t really get a definitive answer for, it almost consumes me because most of my intrusive thoughts I can logic my way out of but with this it’s practically impossible. I wish I could find somebody with similar thoughts or someone who has gone through this because I feel like these thoughts are so specific that I can’t find anything similar so if someone could share their thoughts that’d be amazing.

I have been stuck in rumination for the past several hours, and I feel at a dead end. Can good people, unintentionally, do bad things and still be considered good? I handled a situation with a little less grace than I would have liked to, and now I feel like a monster. It was such a small moment- but it has ruined my day. Any advice?

Hi guys what theaprist do you recommend for rocd on here?

Venting: I‘ve been suffering from some type of ocd and tourettic-ocd for 2 years now. I’m not diagnosed with ocd yet but I am trying to get the dx. I had a therapist when everything first started but I’m very ashamed and embarrassed of my obsessions so I had never brought it up with my therapist. I regret it and wished I did. My Tourette’s had gotten severe and I ended up on a antipsychotic called risperdal the help my tics. The medication had also help with my ocd symptoms and I thought that it was almost a miracle. I am off the medication because of side effects reasons and now my ocd is getting worse again. Around this time my therapist stoping being my therapist because our contract ended. I recently told my mother the half truth of that I might have tourettic-ocd and maybe we can hurry up and reschedule my monthly psych appointment. So I do have plans of talking to a psychiatrist about it alone but I want validating reassurance pronto. So I recently contacted my old therapist to try to get the reassurance I want (I had still have her phone number). I tried telling her that I think I been suffering from ocd. I was so nervous and anxious about telling her, I thought that she be mad, hate me, tell me that I’m wrong about ocd and I’m just a horrific person. I did my best not to panic, even tho I felt like vomiting. I right when I told her she cut me off and told me that she doesn’t deal or have any experience with ocd, she said that need to talk to my mother, talk my psychiatrist and just don’t stress about it then the call was over. I cried and had a breakdown about it. Ig she did her job… but I can’t stop overthinking of what she might think of me now and stuff. I really wanted someone to just reassure and validate me. And I’m now stuck waiting for my psych appointment. I titled this, “am I really trying to get help” because the next step of trying to get help is to tell my mother. I’m afraid that if I do tell mom, her reaction would be worse than my therapists. My mother is apart of why I do want help but I just can’t tell her. I have many repetitive intrusive thoughts of violence and harm to my own mother. I’m stuck doing compulsions trying to cleanse and get rid of these horrific thoughts. Each day as more stress builds on and on, I feel like everything is getting worse and worse I truly do want to get help but I just can’t let my mom finds out. And if I get even worse she might start to notice more and more. In the beginning I say that I spend atleast 40 minutes a day doing compulsions and 8 hours a day intrusive thoughts invading my mind. Now it’s probably over 1 hr 30 mins doing compulsions and almost all day with intrusive thoughts. I don’t want this to get to the point it’s interfering with my constantly

Hey guys - So I just had a pretty significant setback in my OCD journey, and in the attempt to make light of it I’m going to share what I learned, in the hopes that it will help some of you. OCD is theorized to have something to do with a serotonin deficiency in the brain. So, naturally, I started doing a few different things to help with that naturally. I’d say the biggest thing that impacted my OCD spiral was stopping my gratitude journal practice. This has the BIGGEST effect on my journey. Being able to take stock of the things that were going well allowed me to break out of the endless loop that is OCD. If you think about OCD in terms of an endless, cyclical train track of anxiety and fear, well the best thing to do is to get off of that train track by CREATING another one - one of gratitude, love, and peace. What helped me was making a list every day of all of the good things in my life, and really feeling the implications of my blessings, believing that I was worthy of those things. The OCD will always be there, wanting to grab you, at least right now. It’s worth shifting your focus to something else. Maintaining healthy attachment - This is very important to OCD recovery. As Michael Greenberg talks about in his articles, oftentimes obsessions are a result of a person not being able to express a healthy and natural feeling, one that their psyche has deemed unsafe. For example, worrying you might want to harm a loved one might be indicative of an underlying anger you have towards them, a healthy anger that we may feel even towards those we love - but for some reason, you’re not letting yourself feel that anger because maybe you were shamed for expressing emotions like that as a child. I’ll attach the article here - it’s so good. He’s got all of these worksheets on there too that really help you find your core fear. Anyways, I know this sounds crazy right? Why would attachment have anything to do with my OCD? Healthy attachment to others allows us to express emotions in a safe way - and not having that can cause things to become repressed, or our brains to try and distract us from them, with an anxiety spiral. Making sure you are setting boundaries, expressing your needs, crying when you need to, expressing your need for love when you can - are all ways to reinforce YOU. Not the obsessional, OCD part of you - but the beautiful person underneath all of that with needs and desires and a need for connection. Look at your life - How much love are you experiencing on a daily basis? Love is crucial for the chemical of serotonin in our brains - and feeling connected to people actually increases those chemicals in your brain - which you need, especially with OCD. How many heartfelt conversations have you had recently? Is there a way you could have one? Is there someone you could ask for a hug right now, or an animal you can pet? Are you making yourself feel loved? Are you around people that make you anxious, because you can tell they are repressing their emotions and you feel like you need to take care of their emotions? Are you able to be honest and truthful about your feelings and needs? Meditation is also a really good one - it’s going to help mentally train you to watch thoughts go by, and be able to direct your attention to what YOU want to. I’m going to attach all of the articles that have helped me from Michael Greenberg - especially the ones on rumination. Think about what ruminating does to your brain - constantly going in that cycle of anxiety and trying to figure something out - in the past or future - think about what that would do to your brain chemistry. Our ruminations are not often ones of how much we are loved or how grateful we are - they are a fear loop, over and over again. No wonder your brain is devoid of serotonin! Now it’s just about rebalancing that - and to conclude, here’s a list to help: Increase the presence of love in your life, as possible Daily gratitude practice to start rewiring your brain to focus on that instead Reduce rumination and eliminate it as possible Work on your attachment style - Personal Development School has great videos on this, read the book “Attached”. Here are the articles: https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/articles/ There’s some great articles about rumination, the psychodynamics underlying your OCD - I’d recommend reading all of those he has listed. Hope this helps at all! Stay strong guys. :)

Ok, community. I’m really scared about this one. Does anyone know if OCD can be triggered by a life altering event such as a death or a move? I have always had relationship anxiety in this way: “Is he going to text me/call me back?” “He did such and such. What if he doesn’t like me anymore?” “Maybe he doesn’t even like spending time with you anymore but doesn’t want to say it.” I had these thoughts at the beginning of my relationship with my current partner. But ever since my relationship became more serious, the thoughts and physical symptoms became extremely intense and sounded more like this: “What if I don’t actually love him?” “Am I/was I ever even attracted to him in the first place?” “What if we’re not compatible?” Obviously, I don’t want to ask for reassurance since that won’t help me. I’m wondering if anyone else’s ROCD experience has been like this.

My ocd and depression are already beating me down this morning. I’m so tired of feeling anxious, extremely sad, guilty, and going through all of my memories to make sure I didn’t sleep with someone else since being with my husband. I’ve never once in our entire relationship questioned if I’ve done that. Ever since that first thought appeared it’s making me wonder if I actually did it and can’t remember. It literally makes me sick to my stomach and freak out. All I wanna do is give up, because I can’t keep feeling like this😔

Anyone else scared that they don’t actually have OCD, and their relationship is doomed?