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Can I tt smb please and please have a conversation with I need help badly...

I was struggling, for months I was having a hard time. My OCD was triggered in the month of April this year and that’s where it began. It was really hard and for a month it got more and more difficult. Then I decided to find some therapy near me. It was talk therapy and it was nice, but I was still struggling, and I needed more guidance. During this time, it was so bad I was counting the days in between my therapy sessions when I first started talk therapy. Throughout talk therapy, I realized that I needed more help and I needed someone who can speak my language and you can understand the thoughts and feelings that I’m having. I’m sure that we all go through that when first dealing with Obsessive compulsive disorder. I didn’t understand it myself, maybe that’s what I say now, but maybe underneath all that misunderstanding. It was anger at the fact that this was happening to me. I felt angry. I was compulsively washing my hands 70 times every day I was basically hiding from people when they were talking to me, and I could barely touch food with my hands. I was suffering from contamination OCD, and before I knew it had engulfed my life. Fear became a bad friend. It was my biggest indulgence. I feared absolutely everything and anything. It was difficult. I felt alone, isolated, and hopeless. I was reaching a boiling point and that’s when I decided to go with NOCD and give it a try. Fast-forward months later, my life feels so much different. I still struggle on a daily basis but nowhere near as much as I once did. I feel like I mention it every session, but it’s crazy how much progress I made I’m always telling my therapist that I’m doing things that I once thought were impossible like touching my face, easily eating food with my hands, or looking at others when they’re talking to me. These were things that I literally couldn’t do a couple months ago. I still struggle every single day, but I’m learning every single day. I’m 25 years old and in my 25 years of living OCD has been the hardest thing that I’ve ever gone through and if you’re reading this, I want you to know that you can heal. It takes time and you have to keep it up. You can’t quit. Even as of writing this I’ve been going through some spikes lately, but I want you to know that you can get through this. In one of my sessions, I use the analogy of hitting a tire with a stick. The analogy came from a story that my Dad would tell me about him growing up in Mexico and how he would hit a tire with a stick for fun. You have to keep hitting the tire with the stick for the tire to keep going and you have to view your OCD/mental health the same way. You must continually work at it. I hope this post finds you all well. Recovery is possible. You are going to fight battles that no one will understand. There will not be many people in your personal life will truly understand, but give them grace and give yourself the strength to search out those who do understand. OCD is misunderstood by the masses, so find those who understand. OCD recovery is not a self rescue mission, it’s imperative that you address it, and find the help you need. Give yourself the grace needed to observe yourself without judgement. Applaud the progress you make, make a big deal out of it. Set your sights on new horizons and break through plateaus. 7 months ago I felt like I was struggling with fearfully living, now my eyes are set on living as fearlessly as I can, one day at a time. You got this. - C, (25)

Has anyone else ever feared being bipolar? My postpartum was smooth until I hit 4 months pp and then it quickly went left. I woke up one morning and had a panic attack which changed everything. I started thinking I had cancer, my heart was going to stop at any second, had a DVT, literally every physical illness. I was constantly googling my symptoms, etc. I was fine for a month and then I feared going crazy and losing my mind. I believe I had DP/DR which didn’t help. I couldn’t eat, lost so much weight and etc. I’m now 16 months pp and I fear that it all stemmed from being bipolar? Not sure why I think this but maybe because when I’m really anxious I get irritated and then I’m ok when I’m distracted. When I’m not tired or can’t sleep I fear it’s mania, when I’m happy I fear it’s mania, when I’m not anxious I fear it’s mania, etc. everyday I’m anxious about sleeping and if ill be able to sleep and if not then it could mean mania, etc. has anyone else had this experience?

Hi everyone, this is my first post here so sorry if the format is off. I’ve been working with my therapist for about a year and a half. I’m not clinically diagnosed, but based on everything I’ve shared, she believes I have OCD. My obsessions shift over time, and for the past six months it has focused on relationship OCD around friendships. I constantly analyze whether the people I feel close to actually feel the same way about me. If I don’t get the exact kind of reassurance I’m hoping for, I spiral. Therapy hasn’t helped this specific issue much yet, and honestly it feels like it’s getting worse. I keep convincing myself that I have no friends, that I’m a loser, and that I’m basically a social reject in my town. I’ve even gotten into this pattern where I obsessively Snapchat people every single day because I’m terrified that if I don’t, they’ll forget about me or think I don’t care. Then I end up feeling like I’ve annoyed them. And when there’s a group outing with the girls in my town and I’m not invited, I get devastated for weeks. I don’t know if that’s normal or not, but it feels like confirmation that I’m rejected and don’t belong. I talk to a lot of people on Snapchat and I have several male friends (I’m female), but my OCD tells me that male friends don’t count and that having a big female friend group is the only “normal” way to be. That thought really eats at me. I want to put myself out there, but I get too scared. I’ve tried apps like Bumble BFF but never follow through. I’ve messaged old friends to hang out, but I get anxious about going to the things they do. The strange part is that I’m not even sure what I’m looking for anymore. I just know I’ve had good and bad friendships, and I can tell there are people I’d genuinely love to be friends with and others I don’t really want in my life. I’m not sure what to do next or how to break out of this loop. Any insight or similar experiences would mean a lot.

i am just so frustrated. i keep doing research on the difference between pocd and an actual P, and it just seems the exact same. and everyone keeps telling me “no there’s actually a big difference” but in research there’s literally not. i’ve tried so hard to find more but the only difference i can find is the actual attraction part, but when u dont know what real attraction is because you generally have no experience in it and have natural low attraction it’s like how can you even figure it out for yourself and see if you’re attracted or not??? im just so stuck. its making me angry because i want to figure it out so badly but i just can’t because all the research to me just seems like “yeah real P’s can actually experience and feel the exact same as someone with pocd” and the only difference seems to be real attraction, but when POCD makes you believe you are attracted and have thoughts that people who are attracted can also experience, and even with pocd you feel all negative emotions about the thoughts that also real P’s can feel its like OH MY GOSH HOW DO I FIGURE THIS OUT!!!!!!!! then people are like “if you were a real P you would just know” BUT WHAT IF I DONT???? its possible for a real P to be confused and not really know for sure so like!!?!?!?. i just wish i had a machine where you could type in a question about yourself and it would give you a real definite answer cause then i would know the real cause to all these things im going through.

18+ please I saw art of Marvel Rivals skins and one of them was Peni Parker, nothing weird official art of a skin they'll be releasing, I didn't realise who it was at first so zoomed in, my OCD convinced me it was with sinister intentions (Even if it was, they've confirmed she's 18 but I still don't like the idea of her being sexualised because she's not in every other continuity). I then kept getting intrusive images of the other version of her from Spider-Verse that were incredibly disgusting and disturbing and I'm struggling with the what if I saw something terrible involving her and didn't do anything or worse, even though it makes no sense as when I saw something like that, I freaked out for an entire day and the other time was just under some random tweet that again, freaked me out for a while. Those were both this year though and I have this nagging in the back of my head of "What if it was earlier than that and you forgot?". I know I have to just sit with the uncertainty and stop ruminating but it's really really hard. Does anyone have any techniques they use to do it that help?

I’m 19 and I just recently starting having what I believe is intrusive thoughts. It really started to get worse with my boyfriend recently because I made myself believe I had somehow emotionally cheated on him even though I had no specific example , I just felt like somehow I did and I needed to confess and tell him because I was so guilty and felt so terrible that I could do that to him, I didn’t realize until now that could be from OCD…I also after that guess I had become really aware of “looking for attention” and a scary intrusive thought came in my head and it told me I had changed my outfit because someone in my family was coming home. I would never in a million years want to hurt this person ever, nor would I ever think that way but now that it happened it’s like I can not stop. It’s just constant and I hate the thought everytime it makes me feel sick but I can’t get it to stop. It has me worried that what if it’s not intrusive ? What if I wanted it or still do want it. But I don’t. But part of me feels like I do I just need help please.

Ok so i was thinking about a past bad real event i had and it’s something im not proud of but then my mind seems to be making up random details to make the situation worse than it was and i can’t even tell whats real anymore. Has anyone had the same thing?

I am having a really hard day. I am so overwhelmed about so many things. I lost an earring and can’t find it. It is stuck on my mind. About a month ago my boyfriend broke up with me and the weekends are so hard. That was my first relationship and I miss him dearly. I have no friends to support me and my Mom is tried of me being sad. I also have a math exam Tuesday and need to review a ton. It feels like I have so much to do and so little time. I just want to hangout with a friend/ my ex boyfriend. I feel very depressed and anxious.

I just need somebody to talk to please

Could really use help and all my posts are getting hidden and I don't know why, even though there's nothing bad I don't think so I think I'm just going to leave this post here to talk about it instead of repeatedly making the same posts

I’ve recently hit a very big milestone with my boyfriend. The problem is my fear happened again, I didn’t enjoy it, and couldn’t feel anything because I’m always subconsciously monitoring everything I feel/don’t feel. TMI but It’s really REALLY hard for me to get turned on and the last time I was FULLY in the mood was a couple years ago when I met up with my ex. But after that It’s never happened again. Extra TMI but I can’t even get aroused to things I used to be aroused by before this theme bc I feel like I’m watching for my reaction. But when it’s things I don’t want to feel any arousal towards I get aroused. Moving on, when I first noticed I had a crush on my current boyfriend 4 months ago, my mind was clear and I wasn’t really checking as much. But, when I noticed my feelings and attraction for him my body went into a “scanning” mode and I felt myself going numb. I would start to check if I found him attractive every time I saw him, if I still felt the same way the day I realized I thought he was cute, or if I was still excited about calling him. There’s times where him and I kiss and I’m fully present and enjoy it. But when I notice I start to focus on it again and I start to feel nothing. The best way I can describe it is there is a mini me in the back of my head watching everything I feel. Everything I think, feel, and dont feel is always being “watched” and I don’t know how to stop it. I miss being fully present when I’m with him because I finally felt the things that have been “shut off” ever since this theme started when I was 15. The more I subconsciously monitor the less I feel for him and I hate it.Im trying really hard not to ruminate on my lack of strong feelings, attraction, and libido when I come back from dates with him now. It really sucks because in the beginning of the relationship I was so happy about finally feeling attraction and emotions again. This is so annoying and I really hope someone can relate 😭. I need tips please.

Hey so I don’t actually have ocd but I’m trying to understand my girlfriend better to be there for her in actual helpful ways, and I think she might have ocd and talking with her she thinks she might to. She is a huge perfectionist and definitely a germaphobe, as well as some sensory issues. She also has some things that seem like compulsions, she’ll feel like she needs to squeeze her fingers and hands, sometimes picking at them even if there’s not like dry skin or anything to pick at, and sometimes she’ll even feel like she needs to like rub them across something spiky or just a very specific surface but its not always the same. She also feels the need to have her whole body squeezed when she’s really stressed, almost like she wishes she was in a hydrolic press, so really really tight hugs or things like that help but I think that might just be a different thing and not ocd. She also has a weird feeling that makes her not want to kiss(as well as intimacy) and she struggles explaining what it is like. She really didnt want to kiss me for a while but she thought that it was just because of past experiences that were bad but then we finally kissed and she said she felt almost panic but different. I really care about her but this block making it so she cant kiss has recently made some bumps in our relationship. I would like to kiss her but I would rather have her happy so it’s fine, but I know that it affects her not knowing what is wrong and its made some doubts in the relationship. We’ve been able to talk it out and Im being really patient with her, but I want to fully understand her so that I can actually help her Does this sound like ocd? And what can I do to help?

I've been really struggling with this terrible false memory or real event and I don't know what's real anymore, I keep having this fear that the only reason I think it's false is because I want it to be and I just want it to stop, I don't understand why this one is sticking around and the others aren't/didn't. I thought I could trust this artist because they were followed by another artist that a lot of people who I think are normal and share my morals follow so I projected my morals onto that artist and who they follow, I saw art sexualising a character who I assumed was of age and despite them not having an official age they don't look old enough to be sexualised when I googled it later, I don't think they looked the same in the art I saw but I saw something else they posted and they looked too young to sexualise also but I don't know if it's hindsight or not (This part definitely happened, when I reported them I saw it) but I just have a vague thing of the art of the character that I don't think ever showed their face or didn't look the same because if I thought they looked too young I obviously wouldn't have let it be but the image keeps changing in my head and I'm worried I saw more art sexualising this character (which was maybe true when I was reporting them or smth idk)

POCD TW I already have a therapist bad/morally wrong thoughts feels good and like i agree with them and LIKED THEM during ejaculaiton WHILE i watched adult content and then idk if i came to the thought or the adult. Afterwards I get sad and just want to sleep… this happens so many times and nobody has given me an answer to this they just say that this is concerning… im tired of this rn This happened so many times when i ejaculated I hate that people keep saying that I need to get real help which I already am getting and that I am “entitled” to these thoughts. I’m already tired enough of my life now I have to deal with this and I can’t even m@sturbate in peace now. I’m done with all of this. My life was crap enough before this now it’s worse

18+ please (Mentions of 🌽) I've been having a really annoying pattern of seeing something that triggers my checking compulsion, usually an attractive woman my brain instantly objectifies and sexualises them and I'll usually say something (in my head) like "They're so pretty" to try and stop the objectification sometimes multiple times then I'll go on twitter or instagram (Maybe to do the checking compulsion without realising idk) then I'll see something that triggers my POCD that makes me not want to do the checking compulsion but at the same time reinforces the stress I feel which makes me want to do it to relieve stress (My checking compulsion is sometimes to porn and sometimes I'll destress if you know what I mean) and it's like this balancing act that's really irritating, I'm resisting it now but am not always so good at doing it and it makes me feel bad for giving into the compulsion. Most recently I was just watching a streamer who is an attractive woman (Objectively speaking, I'm fairly certain I'm asexual) and my brain did it's usual routine, then I went on twitter and saw more attractive women but also a Spider-Man comic cover with a character that is supposed to be 16 (and 3 other characters) in a weird situation that I think was trying to imply something sexual? (It was just the characters standing around but that seemed to be what other people where thinking as well). People where rightfully talking about how weird this was and someone posted another panel of the character and they were wearing their costume which is like a skintight black suit and you could see the outline of their butt and it triggered me because I got worried I would sexualise it (Which I think I did by being afraid of that happening) and I double checked to make sure it wasn't sexualising her because that's one of my big fears, I don't think it was but it was certainly a bit weird anyway, I clicked off the post and moved on and saw more attractive women that was again reinforcing the checking compulsion and then a drawing of Batman and Robin and Robin is wearing those really weird shorts and my eyeline went there accidentally and again I think I sexualised it and I just wish my brain wasn't like this (I think I also noticed the artist drew a bulge which weirded me out but I could be wrong)

TW: intimacy stuff So, I'm on some support discord servers and on one there's one person who's been very helpful and seems mature and good with helping. Today we talked about some of my issues and ended up talking about my intimacy and sexual issues because I was having relationship related scares. I told them how I'm super uncomfortable with porn because I don't like watching people and I've never been intimate and don't do too much exploration because that's just not something I enjoy. For me intimacy is all emotion based so just doing it to do it feels wrong, even when I stuff for myself at the end I just feel sad and disgusted. Basically he tried to help and give advice and told me to try watching different type of porn. I tried to explain I don't like looking at people but he insisted I should at least try. I said OK and left. This really triggered because it made me feel like I was indeed weird for not liking such things or not being wired like everyone else. Now all I can think does me not wanting to watch sex stuff and please myself or sleep with people make me weird? I'm now super upset and spiraling even tho they did genuinely tried to help me. I just feel pathetic and like a weirdo :< (Context I'm demisexual so I'm only interested in intimacy with someone I have an emotional connection, once I like someone I usually get so said more interested in intimacy but when I'm on my own I don't see much joy in it)

Whenever I see cute social media posts about relationships and romance, I feel like I shut off emotionally and go numb immediately. I start thinking "Why don't I want that" or "Why don't I feel that way" when I actually do feel that way at times. It's so upsetting and makes me think I need to break up with my boyfriend :( The "maybe, maybe not" strategy is really difficult for me because I'm too hyperaware of the circumstances of my feelings. Is there something I can do to ease into accepting my doubts and thoughts?

Guys I need help issues I've been going through and I honestly need help because if I was masturbating earlier today and it's felt like I purposely thought of my father why it's just I don't know why I just did and I feel so weirded out by it it's just like my thought just starting you know I don't know how to explain it it was just that was doing it and then my brain just focused on that instead my for some reason like it felt like I chose to think it's I am sorry if I'm not explaining it well but I feel like a weirdo and I don't want to be near my family anymore like I've been going through a lot and this is just horrible it's just like I chose to thank the thought and it felt like I wanted it and I feel so weird at all if someone had the same issue please let me know I just want to know I'm not alone in this it's not even that I also had sexuality issues because recently I've been down a spiral of looking at transgender and feminine men content and it's just like confusing for me I think it's just because my brain makes association of men that just made me think of my dad because I'm 18 and young and I'm on explorer myself so after I do it to be so types I honestly just feel shame and regret I don't think I am gay at least not that I know because afterwards I don't really like it but I just feel shame when I do it but also I feel so horrible because it felt like I thotght it on purpose like it's just I don't know how to explain it I just thought it and now I'm afraid

I want to know whats the worst thoughts / content you ever got and how you got through it , and what about your relationship? Because I’m currently having thoughts that go like “imagine xyz act “ (sexual ocd) and it can throw in things like my bf friends names or even continue the statement like that and it bothers me so much . I feel like I’m going numb yet at the same time I feel really sad and depressed about it