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Does anyone else experience this? MORNING • Whenever I wake up I feel okay-ish. I usually wake up 6 hours in and decide to sleep some more because I’ve noticed that helps me sometimes. • I wake up around two hours after that and feel immediately anxious and start to ruminate about whatever my brain can find. DAY • Anxiety has just increased and I’m an absolute mess. Most likely had a panic attack or two. NIGHT • Anxiety is calming down, I feel better. • As the night progresses, I feel almost back to normal ALMOST. I actually have an appetite. I feel happy, I can be with my family. I feel like I deserve love. • If I overdo it, tire myself out, I start getting anxious again. It loops like this every single day. Does anyone else experience this???

I was reading posts that might relate to what I’m going through. I encountered a few people with POCD who have physically checked (full self intimacy thing) their attraction as a compulsion. I am petrified of doing this and because I read about it I’m so scared my brain will make this a new thing. And ofc it’s something that pops up when I’m trying to do something intimate. How would I know that I’m checking vs having intrusive thoughts/intrusive thoughts about checking?

I finally got my OCD confirmed a few minutes ago. I have severe OCD. I feel relief but at the same time I feel so scared because all of this feels much more real. My mom isn’t the most open minded so I could only tell her very little about my ocd, just scared of people dying is what I said. I can’t tell her about the harm ocd, the pocd, or anything else. I feel like I’m lying to my family by keeping all that from them. I haven’t been able to stop crying. I finally have a diagnosis :)

I’ve been struggling with breaking the cycle of hyper-awareness around my actions. I’m afraid that if I let go and stop overthinking, I’ll somehow slip and do something really bad, and that fear is hard to shake. For example, I’ve been trying to engage in behaviors that felt natural before this flare-up like playing with my dog. But I’m really focused on not touching her inappropriately while still trying not to avoid the areas near her tail. While part of me feels a bit more comfortable now, I’m not sure if I’m truly moving forward or if I’m just giving into another compulsion. I feel like I’m constantly second-guessing whether I’m being cautious and mindful or if I’m stuck in hyper-focus and questioning every move. Has anyone else dealt with similar experiences? How do you tell when you’re making progress versus just feeding into the OCD cycle? And how on earth do you handle the guilt and shame that linger?

i am really struggling with cheating ocd atm. i have struggled with it for a very long time. my relationship with my boyfriend isn’t the most stable. he’s done some things in the past that have really hurt me and i’ve not seen much of a effort to make me feel better tbh. i think that’s why my ocd is so high sometimes because of the stress of that. so over the weekend my friend and her family came over for the day and on the day my anxiety was sky high to the point i had knots in my belly and heart racing because her older brother was coming too. i avoid men because of my cheating ocd i don’t like talking to them or even looking their way. so you can imagine how anxious i felt lol. when they walked in, he didn’t walk in straight away and i felt so relieved that he wasn’t there but it was short lived as he walked in after. and when we hugged to say hello (which everyone did) i was focused on not making inappropriate contact and the whole time after i was ruminating on whether i hugged him inappropriately or not. then i had to give him a glass of water and i put it on the table because i didn’t want my hand to touch his and my hand was shaking so much when i did this. and to add, i wore no makeup on the day as i didn’t wanna come across as making an effort and i overthought so much about my outfit too as i didn’t want to seem like i was making an effort to impress. this is what’s bothering me. my mum needed help handing the food out and i didn’t want to hand the plates as i knew there was a chance our hands would touch. but what’s confusing me is that when i handed it to my friends bother, i got these overwhelming thoughts and feelings that i want our hands to touch, and i even feel like i let my hand stay on the plate for longer. in fact im certain i did because of those thoughts and feelings and after i said “you got it” about the plate and idk why it felt like at the time it was flirting maybe because in my mind the thoughts were “this is flirting” and straight away i felt SO much guilt like i had cheated and did something disloyal and i didn’t even eat. i was so anxious prior, why did this happen i feel so sad and i feel so much guilt it’s unreal. i literally don’t ever want to be disloyal, im so careful about what i do because of this. my friend said that it felt real because of my ocd but nothing i did was wrong but it feels so hard to believe that. i haven’t confessed as i don’t feel emotionally safe to at all tbh which i think is bothering me a lot too. my boyfriend has made comments in the past about retaliation and some of the stuff he’s done has really broken my trust even though it hasn’t been direct “cheating”. any advice will be appreciated, please be kind, im not doing well at all. thank you

hey everyone !! i come again asking for help. my ocd gives me copious amounts of intrusive thoughts and feelings, and while i try to not stop and think about them too much, the fact they are happening, that im thinking and feeling those things is very scary, which makes me overthink them, worry, try to disprove them, yknow, classic ocd stuff. thats also not the only issue though. this makes it so that for the rest of my time i live based off "if i dont do this, it means that x feelings or x thoughts were true" and (as lots of you probably know) that is very exhausting and upsetting. i want to live my life without paying attention to my ocd and without attributing every single thing i do to whatever my ocd throws at me that day. does anybody have any tips? i would really appreciate it !!

so i have harm ocd and recently it switched to having to make sure my loved ones are breathing in their sleep and i did a big thing this week i stayed at my dads house for the first time in 3 months i neevr was able to bc my ocd was like what if this or that but i did it and stayed for 2 days and i was like what if i don’t love my mom and now that im back at my moms house it’s like my mind is convincing me im wanting something bad to happen and it’s so scary bc it feels so real and true i feel crazy, what do i do?? i feel like im in and out of reality

Anxiety about having no spiritual practice or beliefs anymore due to existential OCD has torn it all to pieces along with any new ways of of seeing life and death. It all gets torn to pieces then I feel guilty and ridiculous because I’m so old and haven’t figured it all out or decided on a path yet despite decades of searching/studying etc…Resisting the compulsion to search and trying to sit with the void of uncertainty of what is true and what is not. VERY UNCOMFORTABLE and feels like a tortured soul. If there is one... oye. Halloween season has many triggers.

Please no nastiness. Myself and my boyfriend have known each other since I was 14. I met him because he and my sister were best friends. Anyway, I grew up and thought he was attractive. We tried getting together when I was 18 but I ran off. Anyway, we didn’t speak for over 10 years. I knew my sister and him kissed and had an incline they slept together but neither of them told me and my boyfriend said possibly but I don’t remember. Anyway, we have been together 10 months and my sister told my mum. My sister is telling me to leave him because he ‘lied to me’ but I don’t want to leave him. Then, she told me that in 2019 they exchanged texts but I was in another relationship at that point a long term one at that, so again my current partner wasn’t my concern. She then randomly stated that my boyfriend grabbed her bum when me and him met up again when we first got together (I don’t believe this for a second) I have also confronted my partner and he said absolutely not. When I had the incline that they slept together I said to my partner that I didn’t care, however it has come out now and naturally I feel a bit grossed out BUT he is very loyal to me, I trust him and ultimately I love him. Obviously I have mental images running through my heads and what ifs and makes me feel sick.

Okay, so I have gotten cold sores in the past. I am aware cold sores are a type of herpes, but I was under the impression it was extremely different. Last year I told my friends when I got my first cold sore. when I have an active cold sore I would never share drinks with people or food or anything like that. I would however share food and drinks when I didn’t have any. honestly, I was never thinking about that and forgot that I even get them. My friends apparently had no idea cold sores were herpes. they all sat me down for an intervention last night and lit into me about spreading hsv1 to them and are forcing me to get a blood test and them as well. I am under the impression that if I am positive and so are they, they most likely won’t be my friends anymore. I never hid the fact I had a cold sore ever. in my head i’m confused because I don’t see how it is my fault they didn’t know a cold sore was a type of herpes. another part of me is so confused because my parents and everyone i’ve ever talked to has told me a cold sore is literally no big deal at all. I’m so shocked i’m losing friends over this, and that it is all coming up right now. I feel i may be in the wrong for it, but i’m honestly super hurt and upset with them now for ganging up on me and yelling at me for this for over half an hour last night. This is making me struggle with my mental health and I don’t even feel comfortable in my house any more. These next few weeks while I wait for their tests are going to be so anxiety inducing. Am i crazy?? Are they 100% valid? Did i really do a horrible thing??

I have always had intrusive thoughts and when I was around 16 I had my first awful one HOCD. This made me feel so sick and I couldn’t leave my bed. Would look at women and get groinal responses and would avoid anything LGBTQ. I then suffered with POCD, which I nearly asked to be sectioned over. Now, I am with my current partner (10 months)I have known him since I was 14 and have always had a thing for him. Anyway, last year there was this person at work who I forced and convinced myself to ‘like’ don’t even know if I even did to be honest. But his background is awful and everyone around me said it was a bad decision and I knew this too. We used to talk all the time but yeah, anyway… I said I didn’t want a relationship and distanced myself from him and never really thought about him. I’m now in my relationship with my current partner and I adore him. He is fully aware of what is going on in my head. My head is comparing him to this guy at work. Makes me think they look alike, but this all stemmed from when my current partner was talking about his family past and I instantly thought oh no, I hope my family doesn’t think this is bad (they love him). So now, my head is saying ‘what if you love this other guy’ what if the reason you can’t get this out your head is because the universe is giving you a sign’ ‘what if everyone told you not to go there, then what’ the thoughts are endless and honestly, I can’t stop crying, it is making me physically sick, have panic attacks. I confess to my partner all the time and he is honestly so supportive! I feel like I’m mentally cheating or what if I’m denial. When we first got together I was fine. No thoughts and then bang I’m consumed. My head is filled with them. I feel congested with him. I feel disgusting. I look for reassurance. I constantly look on Quora and Reddit. I can’t cope. I love my current partner! And we tried getting together years ago but it wasn’t our time and since, I thought about him every now and again and now my brain is saying ‘oh see, what if it’s the same situation with this guy a work’ I just want coping mechanisms and relief. This honestly feels like torture.!!!

Hey everyone, I’ve shared a lot on here about my severe harm ocd surrounding my loved ones and especially my most beloved one; my french bulldog. I’ve been in therapy for months and it hasn’t helped, and I’m at the point I’m 100% sure I want to harm her, don’t love her anymore and will never be able to be normal with her again. It feels like I’m holding myself back all day every day from something I actually want to do - if I think about it or get the intrusive thoughts, they feel like my own and like I want them. I get thoughts that I’m scared of her insides and that she has them and my heart pounds/I get nauseous over that often. Which in turn convinced me that I actually do have a reason Even though it never bothered me or even crossed my mind pre diagnosis. I’m getting constant feelings over my own feelings of liking this, being capable of it, or even wanting it and not wanting to get better or have her back. Even though that’s the ONLY thing I ever wanted in my life. She was the most important thing to me - did I really just stop loving her? Has anyone else ever hit this point and gotten better? Or do I give my pup away and give up. I never, EVER thought I would be in a place like this with her. Ever.

TMI, sorry! I bought an adult one usage toy from Amazon. I noticed that the seal was already cut but I’m thinking it was a production line defect because the area where it is cut is where the cap and and the other piece of the toy connect. It’s definitely too precise for a human to cut evenly, the circumference of it. But long story short I didn’t think much of it cause it definitely looked clean. Little dry lube cause it comes prelubed. Before using it I washed it and used rubbing alcohol and lubed it again just to be on the safe side but now my brain is telling me to go get tested for STD’s because what if someone used it from the factory or at Amazon and that’s why it’s open. I’ve been sitting with the uncertainty but then it also feels like a serious matter so now. I don’t know what to do! I’m lost. Plus I’m super embarrassed and ashamed to go get tested just cause I think a toy may have been used because it was opened. It’s going to sound dumb if they ask me why I want to get tested.. Big ol sigh. What do I do?

This is a question that I’m sure is going to sound like a typical proof that I DO, in fact, have ocd. But hear me out. My OCD has surrounded my puppy. Harm OCD, to be exact. What started as images I knew were intrusive, has turned into constant images, feelings and urges when I look at her that I can’t tell if they are intrusive anymore. When I think about the future with her, which is all I ever wanted, it feels like I don’t want it anymore. And sometimes like I don’t care or want her anymore. And that what I really want is to act on the thoughts. What if, because of this, these are real? What if because the OCD traumatized me so badly, I don’t actually love her and want her anymore and will never see her the same way?What if I actually don’t want to get better and want to hurt her because of the way I feel now? What if I’ve become this person and suddenly don’t want everything that was so important to me? I know these are all what if, which is textbook ocd, but it feels like they’re actually true. Please help me figure out what the odds are of this.

Is this ocd? I Have a thought or think something f harmful that I’ve gotten intrusive thoughts about - and get a feeling like I want/like it or it would give me relief??? Please tell me that will eventually go away and I’ll get my real feelings back??? Or have I just turned into those things? Sometimes things that make me upset it even feels like I’ll do them just so I can be upset about them.

Has anyone else ever had this happen or am I a bad case? I have severe, severe harm ocd. My loved one that it attacks is like a child to me. She’s mattered so much to me and the way I felt for so long about her was just pure, unalterable love. Then my harm ocd hit. I always knew it was egodystonic, because it was her and I wanted nothing more than for her to be alive. But after four months of checking and non stop thoughts, it feels like I don’t look at them the same way and resent them and actually do want to act on the thoughts. I fight this all day and it feels like if I wanted to relax I’d just give in and do it. Or like I have to get away from them because they give me so much anxiety I feel physically sick. Something that I get is feeling sick that they have organs. I know, I know…it makes no sense. But it freaks me out and now I can’t be with them without my heart pounding, feeling like I want to hurt them, and feeling nauseous. It feels like I would have a lot less anxiety to be away from them, but at the same time it makes me so sad. It’s not a point I ever could have seen myself being with them and the thought of waking up every day and living life without them makes my heart hurt. But at the same time I feel like I love them less or resent them for this. Is this normal or should I just…give them up, basically?? This is killing me. I honestly just want to die to get away from it because this loved one is my best friend on the entire planet.

Guys I’ve been really struggling lately. I’ve been having thoughts that are sometimes not triggered by anything and sometimes they are. The thought is that “ I don’t want to marry my partner”. I’ve also had thoughts about not loving partner not knowing if we are for sure a good match etc. . Idk why it’s so upsetting, that it’s a definitive thought. It’s not what if and that scared me that it’s not what ifs cause that means that it’s true. I don’t want it to be true and I’m trying to just sit in it and it’s not working. I just feel like idk what my reality is and I just want it to stop. I’d like to know if anyone has definitive thoughts as well. I feel so alone and I feel like everyone here that has OCD mainly have what if thoughts.

Everything I’ve ever used to tell myself that there’s no intent, is now backfiring on me. Today it felt like my brain was fantasizing and enjoying the thoughts of murder I now have towards loved ones on a daily basis. What is the difference between HI and this?

Hi everyone. Please read this and help me if you can. I’ve posted on here a lot. I’ve been going through therapy and (I’m the girl with the dog, btw) and I got diagnosed with Harm OCD three months ago. It’s getting really fucking bad even with therapy and I don’t know what to do, or maybe it’s not that anymore? My brain feels confused all the time and I can’t tell what my intent is anymore. My main compulsion with my dog was checking. Get a horrible thought, check to make sure that I wanted her here still. The thought of her dying always upset me terribly, so I knew that they were just intrusive thoughts. No intent, no plan. I used those as my checking mechanism for so long. Then, the last few days, I think of her dying and I get a feeling like I like it. Like I want her to be gone. If I hide knives and everything, my brain throws me a thought of something else. All day, I have this horrible feeling like I actually want to do it, a jittery, nervous, on edge feeling. Like I have more anxiety from not doing it than doing it. And am just holding myself back. If I say to myself “you have no plan” I get my brain racing like it’s making one or I’m making one, and If I say to myself “there’s no intent” it gives me a feeling of purposely doing that to her. If I tell myself “you love her and you want her alive” it gives me this wave of doubt through my chest that I actually don’t. This goes on ALL day and night. Everything becomes a thought or feeling of hurting her. I sit with her and sometimes get these impulses of “just do it it’s easy”. Almost unbearable and I’ve felt so close to acting on it. I don’t think I care about her anymore. I literally feel like I don’t. She was the most important thing; my value, my whole world. I never wanted her to die. That’s another thing - if I say the word die, I feel like I’m fantasizing about it. It’s a feeling I can’t explain. I hate this. I’m so sure I will act on these thoughts. Aren’t people with harm ocd afraid of acting? Not feeling like they want to and will (but don’t want to because I know in my heart I don’t possibly want her gone).

Hey y'all, I've been noticing a lot of people on here are religious. It's been years since I've been religious myself, and I'm just curious as to whether it helps and how it helps with OCD.