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I keep having horrible nightmares of me doing terrible things to people. Like being a sexual deviant or something and it scares me and makes me feel bad about myself. Is this normal?

Hi lately I’ve been feeling like I’m getting out of control with my POCD and that I should have the police know that I am struggling with this type of ocd I know I’m not going to do this but I’m becoming very disoriented.

SO this is a tough one. A while ago I was doing the laundry and I stumbled across my older son's underwear and they had stains on them and out of curiosity I wanted to smell how bad they were, they were gross. Later on I started questioning my self, I then got my younger son's to check and to see if this was some weird fetish and everything was ok. But recently it's come back and I can't stop doing it, it's not just a quick smell, I have to really smell them like the crotch area, Its not pleasurable but I feel like I have to do it to get rid of this urge but I don't even know why the urge is there. I'm terrified because this is my son and I know it's not sexual but my OCD is saying otherwise I do tend to smell everything, my hands, clothes, everything, but the underwear I'm purposely doing it over and over and I'm really worried. Please someone help, is this OCD or am I goingad

Anyone else suffering from guilt and shame from sexual things they did as a kid when they didn’t know any better. And if so how do you cope with it I really need help thx

I was ruminating, even though I shouldn’t be. I remembered another time when I had the weird feeling I can’t explain. It was two years back when I was playing a game on my phone and a weird ad came up for another game. The ad basically had a girl who farted and felt embarrassed. It was a cartoon. I got a similar feeling. I started panicking that I had a fetish for farting or something. I remembered that there was a video I watched on porn in the past where a girl queefed during sex and I was turned on because it was probably embarrassing. Anyways, when I saw that ad It reminded me of this porn video. Since I got the similar weird/adrenaline feeling when seeing videos of kids uncomfortable, I am afraid that it really is sexual.

Why do I have no emotion towards this. I want to cry about this but I feel as if there’s no emotion there. This is such a difficult time for me especially as I’m a school teacher. I’m struggling daily. My ocd of being very nasty and I’m being triggered all the time. Can anyone please talk to me and educate me more on POCD and how it can latch on to anything or even anyone

So like all of you guys, I get intrusive thoughts. I’ve gotten them to a point where they aren’t super debilitating but they still occur. The thing is, I don’t ever want to tell a partner about these thoughts as I don’t even want them myself. However, A part of me feels wrong for not telling them. I fear they may judge me or not want to be with me if they knew as they are sexual and inappropriate although they aren’t pedephellic. I’m not sure how to deal with this situation.

i was extremely scared today, a bunch of little kids were around me and i was scared to be near anyone because i would do something horrible. i feel like a terrible person that no one would want to be around. i don’t deserve this support, i just want to be rid of these terrible disgusting thoughts.

i keep getting thoughts of molesting/ doing sexual things to people (that i’m close to) and children, every-time this happens I extremely disturbed and have panic attacks bc i’m a horrible person. i’m honestly just contemplating just k*lling myself because i feel like a disgusting p3do who doesn’t deserve anything in life. i’m already diagnosed with anxiety and depression but i’m not sure if this is OCD or not. i hate my self so much- this thoughts won’t stop happening and i never want to do anything like that ever. :/. i’m not sure what to do, i’ve talked to my therapist but none of her methods worked on how to stop these thoughts.

I was in the back seat of the car and my granda was directly in front of me and my little sister was standing up directly in front of me and so she bend over for something and her bottom touched my knee i am absolutely freaking out i feel like my life is over 😣

Is it normal to have moments where it feels so real? Like where it feels like you’re fantasizing and you’re enjoying it and you like all of this? But I know there’s nothing there. There’s no desire to be this person. I don’t want or like this. I feel like I’m voluntarily doing this and bringing it on. There’s people saying they want to throw up on here because of this and I feel like I’m not as worried. But I worry every day. I saw someone say people who actually are that person can be distressed but not disgusted and I’m worried that that’s me. But it is disgusting. It’s both disgusting and distressing but I’m worried that I’m not reacting how someone who’s really disgusted would. But at the same time I know it’s not real, it’s not me at all so I feel like I don’t react as much. I literally have no attraction to children. There’s no part of me that wants that I feel absolutely nothing for them in an inappropriate way. My only feelings are that I want them to be happy and enjoy childhood and never ever be hurt by evil people who are actually that. I can’t imagine harming ANYONE. But it’s really confusing how I know this and tell myself this but then I’ll have images pop up and thoughts that feel like I’m into it and thoughts that sound like I’m making sick jokes. It’s so hard to keep up with and I know I care I think I’m just so tired of it. I hope it’s just pocd. I hope I can get a therapist this year. I’m afraid to do anything with my life.

SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH Hello, i’m new to this community, i’m from Brazil, but i speak english, i’m really struggling with what i believe to be POCD, but i’m so scared an feel like i have nobody to share my feelings, it’s really affecting me and people around me, i don’t want to live like this anymore, but at the same time i feel hopeless. I’m on medication (Fluexovamine) for 15 days, it has helped me, but i still have many stuggles. If anyone is willing to talk to me or feel like i do, please contact me. i really really want help and try to live a normal life.

I haven’t had my first session with my therapist yet, but after reading up on ERP and everything I can about OCD I started trying to expose myself to my triggers and do the tips I read on how to handle it. I thought I was getting slightly better these last few days but today I kicked it up a notch and now, hours later, feel terrible and feel like I’m back in square one and have made no progress. My POCD thoughts are horrible again and I’m scared ERP isn’t gonna work on me because of it. I want to get better now but I also don’t know if trying to ERP myself is a good idea when I haven’t met with my OCD specialist yet, can that make it worse? Am I not doing it right? What should I do?

I’m constantly feeling unwanted arousal by my thoughts and it feels more intense than normal arousal. It’s driving me crazy. Any movement down there causes it, any of the thoughts I hate causes it. It’s all day everyday and I cannot focus. It’s super confusing because the physical part obviously has a good feeling but I hate how it is being caused so it’s a very BAD feeling. I’m so scared.

Is it normal to only feel false attraction to one subject of your pocd but not another? Idk why but it makes it feel all the more real bc I was watching a video and I forgot there were clips of a movie with kids in them and I felt what I hope is just false attraction to one of them but not the other three and I'm kind of having a hard time sitting with the feeling like I feel anxious and my face feels hot from being so anxious. Like I think it feels more real bc that's sort of how real attraction functions (being attracted to some people but not everyone).

i keep getting thoughts like ‘try being a p and see if you like it’ and stuff like that when i’d genuinely rather die than be like that. then i try not to think about it but i can’t stop thinking about it which makes it feel like im thinking about it on purpose

I have a problem with saying affirmations in my head. Like for example I’ve had bad intrusive thoughts calling children hot, which is disgusting and I feel gross typing that. But I guess because I’m afraid of it happening again that sometimes if I have a bad thought I’ll affirm “I don’t find children ___” or “I don’t want to hurt them, I don’t want to harm them” to make myself feel better. But sometimes, like I just came across a tiktok about Coraline and I without thinking affirmed in my head that I don’t find her attractive. So then I was uncomfortable because I realized wait a minute, I didn’t even have a thought saying that she was, I literally don’t think she is at all she’s a child character. But it bothers me because I’ve done this without thinking several times now. So then I guess because I said that in my head, I feel like I brought on bad thoughts because I had the thought that she was attractive, which is a lie but I feel like I forced the thought on accident because I affirmed to myself that I don’t see her that way. And to make it worse then I had a thought saying “see, I can have intrusive thoughts saying that she is” and that really freaks me out because NO. If I want to have an intrusive thought saying that, then it’s not intrusive it’s wanted. And it’s completely unwanted. I feel so defeated this is so hard to deal with, it feel so real and that I’m just looking for excuses. I DONT like these thoughts and I don’t want them. It’s so frustrating I literally have no attraction to children and I have no desire to be this person my brain is trying to convince me I am. I don’t have an OCD diagnosis and it just makes me feel like I’m saying oh I probably have pocd as a coverup. I apologize I keep writing so much on here lately I need to take a break after this.

Hey guys, so these past 4 months I had a sudden onset of OCD after a concussion. It first started with HOCD which was super distressing as I’ve been in a 9 year relationship with my girlfriend. It then evolved into transgender OCD, which was horrible as well but it felt easier to disprove my intrusive thoughts. That and of course horrible health anxiety about my head. And it’s funny, as soon as I got comfortable with one topic, the OCD would jump to another. Basically over time I accepted all these negative thoughts about all these topics, so where does my mind go? I had a physical groinal response to an image of an underage person. It freaked me out so much that all day I was obsessing over it, I eventually told my girlfriend as she’s been supportive with me over the other topics. But this…. She’s angry with me, and doesn’t trust me anymore. And she doesn’t understand the groinal response. She did ask to sit in a therapy session with me to help her understand. But that’s about all the communication I’ve gotten from her. I feel so alone. And it’s literally ruining everything I’ve built up with her for the past 9 years. I wish I hadn’t told her. And instead just asked her to join a therapy session with me. Just making this post as I just need someone to talk to.

I’m getting thoughts that I’m following women. I did see a nice looking woman on my way to the river and I did go a bit like a meerkat but we went in separate directions. Now I’m sitting by the river being paranoid that I’m staring at white women… I’m white. I’m thinking the women are too young too when they are well past it being an issue even if I was interested. In other news the flower children at the river were eating thali and I said hello so I got POCD exposure. I’ve promised then chalk whenI get paid and every day they are asking for chalk lol. The chalk will cost £1 for forty coloured sticks. They can make extra money drawing for tourists and it is a bargain for me. I’ve told the tea stand nearby that he should sell chalk as I’m sure the children would continue to get chalk long after I move on that way. I honestly feel like I’ll be in the news rn and they will use my messages and social media as evidence. I know I have had a lot of caffeine and I said this would happen.

I got diagnosed with ocd recently from my therapist after having years of symptoms since I was a toddler and recently I have had a terrible dream with beastiality in it about 3 months ago and I woke up and cried. I went through the day as usual and then I told one of my friends and I sobbed because that is the last thing I have ever thought about in my life. Luckily my friend was there for me, but then the OCD kicked in. I’ve been having horrible thoughts and I’m scared, I don’t want to do anything to animals never have I ever had thoughts of such. I have two pit bulls that are my sweet babies and I have never had thoughts of anything to do with beastiality in my whole life and now I’m 20 just now being scared of this. It has been the worst ocd obsession I have had in a long time the last one I had lasted 3 years. I’ve been wanting to lock myself in my room and not look at my dogs because I’m afraid to even let them sleep in my room anymore. I stay up all night sometimes because I’m scared I’ll see another dream. My mind is starting to make think I want those thoughts and I’m so scared I’m tearing up whole typing this. I’ve been contemplating suicide because of this fear of doing sexual acts to an animal I would rather not live. I hate living like this and it has been hard to sleep with my partner because now I’m afraid to have intercourse which I have always been able to do with my partner no problem. But now the beastiality OCD has ruined my life and I don’t know what to do.