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I guess I'm seeking reassurance, but please tell me these horrible images are just the OCD and doesn't mean who I am

I haven’t been diagnosed yet but I honestly think I have POCD. I have been getting a lot of images or thoughts of children lately, like sexually too and it’s been very disturbing. The thoughts have been nonstop. I have three nephews at home and I’m scared that if I look at them for too long or make eye contact, then that means I’m attracted to them. I have been avoiding them for the past few days and when I hung out with my friend the other day, we were talking about our future and it made me feel so anxious and sad and guilty because of these thoughts I’ve been having. I have to keep telling myself that I know I don’t feel attracted to them in any way but then the question pops up, like “are you really sure about that?” I almost committed a few days ago because of it and the only reason I didn’t was because I didn’t want to leave my mom or my sister. I did some self harm too and I have to keep reminding myself that if I really felt that way towards kids, then I wouldn’t be going through this much. I feel so guilty because I’ve broken down in front of my mom and she keeps asking what’s wrong but I feel like I can’t tell her. Yesterday and today though, I feel really out of place because I feel like I can’t feel anything when the thoughts come up and I don’t know if that’s normal. Does that mean I’m actually that kind of person? It genuinely scares me to even think about.

I don’t know why my brain keeps targeting you but it is and it’s pissing me off, I hate how my head goes like oh did they bleed or enjoyed it or why didn’t they and I know full well why they didn’t and it just pisses me off because I don’t want these fucking thoughts anyone!- Or ask these questions. Oh did you cry?- Or the fact that more stuff pop into my head and me just imagining what happened is stuck in my mind and one of my thoughts- I don’t want to say sexualised- More like it popped up- About a baby!- I DONT LIKE THIS AT ALL!- I know it’s wrong!- I can’t even look at any other porn and my head keeps saying that I like my mom romantically and not platonically!- LIKE WHY ME?!— IT JUST PISSES ME OFF AND I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE I JUST WANT TO SEE THE DOCTERS SO I CAN STOP SUFFERING WITH THESE THOUGHTS AND IMAGES, I FEEL LIKE I VICTEM BLAME THEM AS WELL, MY THOUGHTS ARE LIKE THAT WHEN I KNOW IT WASNT THEIR FUCKING FAULT!— AND IM SO SORRY.

I (15m)am seeking advice because I believe I may have a false memory OCD. I am worried that I may have sexually harmed people without realizing it, especially my young cousins. I am also concerned that I may be a pdophile as i think im aroused by kids but idk if its kids or the idea of s*x. I believe my exposure to explicit content at a young age may have also given me hypersexuality, which still affects me.I feel guilt too because when i was younger i did cocsa against my younger brother he doesn't remember it but i do and i'm just scared what if i did other bad things like that. I do not want to use this as an excuse for my actions at age 14 when I made sexual advances/jokes towards my friends, causing them discomfort and harm. Some forgave me saying they didn't care about it now, but one friend ended our relationship due to my inappropriate behavior during a game and is scarred/traumatized and doesn't even want to look at me i tried to tell him i'm sorry but he doesn't really want me talking to him ever again. I am filled with guilt and shame for my actions and consider turning myself in as a result. The idea that I may have harmed someone without remembering it terrifies me, and I struggle to forgive myself for the pain I have caused others. I'm scared to even encounter people I hurt. I'm a monster that deserves to be beat up/ publicly hurt as most pdos/ s*x offenders do.

Could I just be a **** with strong morals? This afternoon I read the news abt a **** doing something horrible, and I wondered how could he do such thing, and how could someone develope a liking to the very thing that triggers me. How does that happen? I know I would never such thing, but what if I'm secretely attracted? I could be a non offending ****. I had to test if attraction could happen. I picked up a very triggering memory from last month that has been recently reappearing in my mind these past days, triggering me each time and putting me in bed all day without eating anything, feeling distressed and miserable. In that memory there is a young girl, that has legs exposed, and they trigger me a lot. I wanted to know if I was attracted, and I compulsively stared at it, and I didn't get any answers, I only felt more triggered and wondered if what I was feeling was actually attraction, was that weird feeling me liking the legs? Yesterday I had a revelation: what simply bothers you, just bothers you, there is no secret attraction, everything else is overthinking. That's it, it bothers you, it doesn't mean something else, but you misinterpret it for something else, which is "coincidentally" what you fear the most. It makes sense, all the time i was deeply disturbed, distressed, tortured myself with ruminations, to the point that i stayed in bed all day, self harmed, smoked an unhealthy number of cigarettes etc. are a testament to that. But these beliefs have been shattered when I tried to test for attraction. I pictured that triggering image of the girl from memory, and instead of just checking for attraction, I tried to see what would happen if I forced myself to liking it. And I'm afraid it kind of worked, and, at the same time I was trying to force attraction an involuntary smile slowly formed. I got very scared, it lasted an instant, and I went back to my usual self, distressed and bothered by what happened, what it meant. This is very concerning. It could be just false thoughts, false fabricated induced feelings, but it felt very very real, indistinguishable from reality. It felt like a glimpse at a possible reality where I was actually attracted. Maybe I was for that second. Maybe attraction is simply voluntary, and if I decide to become attracted by something that becomes real. Or maybe I was a monster all along. I don't know. I'm very scared. What did just happen? Why did that happen? I can't explain it. Are we what we think? So if I believe that I like it, will that become true? It's very scary. Are simply morals preventing me from being a monster, and maybe I'm not a monster, but that "thing" is something that always exists, and it means I could easily allow it to become the truth? The thing is that, whenever I had those triggering episodes in the past and I ruminated hours to understand if I was attracted, I knew that I was always felt uncomfortable, distressed, triggered, but I never tried to see if there was something else hiding underneath all those things. There was something very strong blocking myself from doing that, I think it was fear. I always checked for attraction, but I never tested it directly, I never tried to force myself to be attracted, to tell myself "you like it" and to see what would happen in fear that it would be the truth. It felt so easy to go "there" in my mind, and I'm so afraid that I might have crossed the line between being bothered and liking it. I feel like more than forcing myself to be attracted, another word could be allowing myself to be attracted to remove the barrier that I self-imposed myself, and see what happened. And I don't know if I felt attraction, it could be very false. But also very real. I'm afraid that all this time my morals are the only thing stopping me from aknowledging that maybe I'm secretely attracted. I can't tolerate this. If this is true, and not a distortion of OCD, if I truly am a monster in denial, I don't want to keep on living. Please someone tell me what actually happened, because I don't know. I need to believe, to know that what I felt was false, that it was OCD, that those feelings were fabricated, emulated, copied, but not true, that they were egodystonic. Help.

Been going through a huge spike recently. I saw a post by an influencer I follow that also has OCD speaking about her experience telling people her thoughts and how living in secrecy isn’t the best. It sent me down a spiral after seeing it and all I could think about was telling people every intrusive thought I’ve ever had. I’ve been experiencing intrusive images, urges, scenarios, you name it, etc. The people in my life know I suffer from OCD, and I told my bestfriend my OCD mainly shows up as disturbing sexual thoughts in my brain. But somehow that wasn’t enough, and my overthinking hasn’t gone away. Has anyone else experienced this? And if so, how do you cope with it? Really needing some support from the OCD community right now, I hope everyone is having a great day!

i have a nightly routine that i do, almost every single night. I wash my hands three times, and i have to put lotion on my hands before i touch anything or i’ll end up having to do it again and again until i don’t feel dirty. i have to fix my bed i can’t leave it messy. i have to close the door three times then leave, well technically four but my brain doesn’t count the fourth one. i have to check in another room, scan it, then close the door. then i walk into my bedroom where i have to take four sips of water from my water bottle. i have drink some normally first, then i go in with the four sips, but the fourth sip is a long one and i HAVE to do it right or else i’ll start all over again. i’m in therapy, and i have broken some of these habits, but there’s still some that still cloud me. i still have to wash hands, not three times, just once and put lotion on it. still close the door three, technically four times, still scan another room, still take my four sips of water. i have very bad, intrusive, intese thoughts that i wish i didn’t think. i don’t wanna type them. i can’t. but you probably know what i’m getting. yoh know, i’m just gonna say it, pedophilia. i know, i know. i can’t be thinking like this, and i wish i didn’t. i didn’t chose to think this. i want this to stop. i fight back my thoughts and do things to distract myself. like, doing unimaginable things to people, and i hate, i really, really do, i’m tearing just writing this. i don’t want to hurt people or gibe them pain. it’s not like me, at all. i remember the times where i didn’t think like this. where i was happy and didn’t think about hurting people. i just want to change. i want to be free from these thoughts. i wanna live my life without hurting others. i wanna heal from this. there’s something else i want to say but can’t wuite put my finger on it. if anyone out there has thought like this and overcome it, how’d you do it? what can i do to change? how do i stop these thoughts for coming? please, i’m really desperate, i don’t wanna be thinking like this and it’s not just that, if you have intrusive thoughts, you know what it’s like. i need help, something, to get rid of these thoughts and think normally. please, help, i’m desperate. does anyone else have suicidal thoughts? like, not wanna to kill yourself but to have something really bad happen and that would kill you? cause that’s how i think. i don’t wanna die but at the same time i do. i just don’t wanna take my own two hands just to commit. like something natural? i don’t know… how you guys distract from these thoughts? heal from them? as i said, i’m currently in therapy and my therapist is well aware that i’m suicidal. she helps a lot, there’s just a lot of things, i can’t talk to her anout right now. but if anyone out there, share your story, how did you heal from this? what are ways that i can help myself. thank you. is anyone else, out there, picking at their fingers and face. i know it’s apart of ocd and it’s called excoriation disorder and dermatillomania. i’ve been struggling with this for a very long time now, since i was a kid (i’m 16 turning 17 in february, also a girl :) my mom and sister don’t really understand what’s it’s like dealing with this. i’ve noticed that acrylic nails have helped a lot when it comes to picking my skin but unfortunately, i don’t really like or do my nails that often now and it’s a pain to take off. if anyone else has dealt with this before or is currently dealing with this: what do you do to help? what do you do to stop picking? what can i try? i know a couple things i could try is buying a figet or putting duct tape around all 10 of my fingers but that in itself is pretty difficult considering that my mom is usually the one that buys things for me and my sister. i’ll try to convice her, she mostly get whatever i need and what so i think it’ll be fine plus i’m using these things for a good cause. thank again, :) i have or had i don’t really know, some type of transgender phase, i’m not necessarily a dude. i don’t even like guys😭 i’m pretty sure i’m not cause i don’t feel like i am. maybe i’m more leaning towards genderfluid or nonbinary. but i don’t yet so she/her is fine for now. that phase was pretty embarrasing not gonna lie…. ehhh, i’ll eventu figure it out but honestly i feel more comfortable as a girl. maybe, i could go by she/they? ugh i don’t know, i feel like i should leave that there though it feels right. maybe different days i can chose different pronouns to feel more comfortable. is that even possible. ohhh nevermind i just search it up it’s literally called genderfluid LMAO. i did at one point have a panic attack over this i know, i know. i just got so overwhelmed and terrified at the fact of transitioning i didn’t like not one bit. i calm down a little bit after and went back to sleep. i don’t what the cause for that was, honestly. if you’ver experience something similar, tell me: what did you do to overcome it? did anyone experience something like this? i do still think anout here and there but not as often as before i never treally stopped and thinked about it but i don’t really want to. i think i’m more comfortable as a girl foe now. anyways, anyone who have gone through this, please let me know: what do you identify as? how did you come to terms with it? how did you feel when you realized? have you ever questioned yourself before? if you went through different phases, how did feel and what did you land with? thank you so much :D wow, that was a lot of thoughts, i’ve been thinking for a long time now. i’m glad to get it off my chest and get help for it too. i wanna be able to get better. i wanna be able to live my life and be incontrol again. i think i’ve been sitting here for the past 2 hours writing this. i feel a lot better telling this to people rather then pushing these feelings down and never see or come to terms with them again. it’s almost 2AM right now and i feel so much better just writing this all down and getting the help i need. if you’ve read this far, thank you, thank you so much. you clearly feel the same or similar to me and i really do hope we BOTH get better. we’ll heal and that takes time, it justs takes one step at a time. i hope someone could relate to me on one thing or maybe even all. of course, i wouldn’t wish ocd on anybody, it’s truly exhausting having your own brain being your own enemy. i really wouldn’t wish this on my worse enemy. i hope someone could help me and i’ll also be able to relate to someone or help someone with whatever they need. i know it feels like you’ve got knifes in your heart and brain , they’re not on the same level but eventually they will both heal and will give what our brain and heart needs. we’ll all heal together and it will take time. the process is slow but it’s worth it in the end❤️‍🩹

Im so depressed... and I feel alone... theres no hope... My pocd keeps saying that my worst fear of unknowingly cybering with a minor has actually happened and it's really triggering the hell out of me... I feel so horrible...My pocd keeps saying I "unknowingly erotically role played with a minor" when idek if this actually happened or not... this was nearly three years ago... (september of 2021) for context we were erotically role playing on an 18+ discord server, and then she suddenly stopped responding, before leaving the server shortly after an unknown time... im so freaking anxious and scared... her grammar was fine at first, but then as we were going on, she kept making errors like "boxer" or "then" instead of "than"... my pocd keeps saying that I "UNKNOWINGLY EROTICALLY ROLEPLAYED WITH A MINOR" when idek if this happened or not... some people told me she sounds like/is a young adult... chatGPT tells me she sounded like a teenager... I genuinely dont know what to believe anymore... (these two photos are from her account, and the beginning of our ERP... I hope she wasnt a teenager... I really hope she wasnt...)

Im crippling from the stress, the last two years of my life were dreadful to say the least but especially this year,was horrible, I'm 14 and haven't received continuous therapy sessions for it just two random sessions with two different therapists that diagnosed me with OCD,my ocd started as me being a cleaning freak to the point of insanity,I'd spent hours cleaning my enviroment (not in a normal healthy way), TW my defecation body parts where so messed up(to the point of bleeding and scarring)from cleaning them over and over again so harshly,and I still felt unclean most of the time,I would repeat my wudu(a process of rinsing certain body parts like the face and arms to prepare for prayer,Im Muslim), so many times I've missed the times of prayers for it.However, in the last year i started getting really agressive sexual intrusion photos and thoughts of either family members or friends and just people in general,it was terrible and they developed into sexual intrusive dreams of people i know creating this shame and making me spiral and go back to some sexual stuff i used to do as I was introduced to p0rn/sexual g0re from such a young age against my will and never recovered from the scarring thoughts, this has affected me deeply because in Islam in order to pray you have to be Tahir meaning you didn't have sexual intercourse or sexual thoughts or sexual dreams (i always have the latter two 😔)and if you did you have to perform and cleaning ritual of cleansing your entire body properly which is exhausting to me because I do it so many times in a day which is driving me again to a point of insanity I hate myself

I feel like talking about groinal responses helps to normalize them! And when we normalize them it is easier to ignore them. Personally I have POCD and I tend to get groinal responses from that, I’ve also had intrusive sexual thoughts about family members. The groinal responses can become intense, persistent, and uncomfortable. My brain makes me question if I enjoy them or not. It is hard to resist ruminating and arguing with my brain about them! And I feel like it is difficult because it is not talked about much. I worry people would think I am crazy! But drop a like if you also experience groinal responses and feel free to share your story in the comments! This way we can remember we are not alone 💜 It does get better with exposure therapy - for a long time I forgot about them. But getting a flare up now has made me think about them

I think i always get some slight attachment for older women. I just always admired them, mostly authorities or i just simply admired them as a older women as a mothers or idk. When i was in high school i had this favorite teacher. She taught me for 7 years. I always felt that we might be somehow connected or that she will help me somehow in the future. When I was in my last year of high school she noticed me that i struggle with mental health, she was always there for me, she even hugged me and reassured me and ive always felt safe in her presence. I was always happy to see her and i think i might make some excuses to just see her and talk with her. So i think i got attached to her. The truth was, that we actually were somehow connected and she also brought be closer to God and she inspired me to become a teacher in the future. Everytime when we had to meet after school i was a bit nervous and sometimes i even wanted to look pretty because i knew that she will give me a compliment. I even said that I love her as my second mother. Sometimes i even thought of her as my mother. When she wasnt responding to my email or a message i strated to panic that i might did something wrong. When i started study my teaching major I even practiced with her at school and i didnt want to disappoint her so i tried to be perfect. Anyway, i have never had sexual or romantic scenerios with her. The only scenarios i had in my mind with her were those that I imagined her as my mother or how she huggs me and comforting me when something bad happens. I used to cry many times when i was thinking about her and I was thanking God that He send me a person like her. I’ve never had butterflies in my stomach around her. I’ve never been aroused in her presence. I’ve never had sexual fantasies with her. But i do get thoughts and doubts that “What if u flirted with her? What if u were secretly into her? What if u have crush on her? What if you love her romantically? What if she is your lesbian awakening?” It bothers me and makes me sad😔 She even kissed me once on my hairs, once on my cheek and I’ve never felt any butterflies or never felt in love and after that happened I wasnt even panicking because i knew it doesnt mean anything and that she only cares for me and nothing else. But im just scared that this is also one of my proofs that I’m a lesbian😔 People told me that this has nothing to do with my sexuality and this actually might mean that im just looking for a mother (i do have a good relationship with my mom so idk why this happens, but i sometimes feel like my mom she is more like a friend and not as a mother who understands my needs and feelings). Anyway, i somehow feel like this doesnt make sense and if i would be in love with this teacher then I would know it. I feel like its bullshit but i cant get over the fact that some lesbians actually had their lesbian awakening when they had a crush on a teacher even though i dont think what i experienced was a crush. 😔

Hi all! I have posted about this before and still not sure about what to do. I am struggling with the question of whether or not I should tell my partner (getting married this week) about the fact that I have OCD and my past experiences with it. And if so how? On the one hand, I think it would be good for them to know that I have this issue (to know me better, and basically strengthen our bond), but on the other hand, I am not sure about how they would react to hearing some of the past manifestations of OCD that I suffered with (mainly POCD and other sexual OCD - about 10 years ago now). My OCD today is mostly checking things around the house to make sure everything is safe - a more “plain” and “non-threatening” (to people without OCD) kind of OCD that wouldn’t be too challenging to discuss. I guess I want to share my experience but wondering if it makes sense to if I am going to leave out the more challenging (but also what has been for me the most impactful) stuff out. And of course keeping that stuff in the disclosure would carry risks as well. Looking online for expert opinions on this is a bit inconclusive. Expert opinions range from “don’t do it, it’s reassurance and these thoughts are meaningless and don’t define you”, through “you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but it can be helpful”, to “you should probably do it, but maybe don’t share everything”. Any thoughts from anyone who has gone through this? Thanks!

Is it normal in OCD to test yourself to see if you like something (POCD specifically) Sometimes I imagine scenarios or things to see if I have a reaction to them but then feel guilty about imagining it afterwards…

I have pocd and am dealing with a real event situation with it. I did something really really odd when I was 18, like really weird. It kinda involved a child but no one was hurt and nothing s*xual really happened. What I did tho was really weird and although I’m kinder to myself and not calling myself a p*do anymore I still can’t shake how weird what I did was. Im not talking something cute and quirky weird like im talking weird weird and strange like mentally not with it. I feel like I’ve ruined everything and base my life on this thing I did. How do I stop feeling like this when I feel like I deserve to be put in an asylum.

The pocd thoughts have really been messing me up lately and it's even more stressful when I have multiple younger siblings. I feel so disgusting by it but I don't know what to do so I just need help. How do I avoid this even. I feel so bad for my siblings I can't control it. Please believe me when I say I can not control it and if I could I would not. I feel like everybody knows and automatically assumes I'm weird like that and I swear I'm not. I feel like I am but deep down I can't be because it repulses me. I can't do anything around them without having these thoughts and I feel so so bad and it's so disgusting and it scares me so bad because what if I hurt them one day? Or what if I did something without realizing it and they grow up traumatized. What is they get a vibe from me that I'm a pedophile and when I hug them they're scared of me. I get scared and I'm scared that my mom thinks that I am and I am not I know I'm not and I want to control the thoughts and OCD but even if it's just OCD it feels so real. I'm scared to ask for help from my mom because what if she already thinks I'm one and then this just gives her more proof and she thinks I'm lying. I would never touch a child in that way. Ever. What if I did something to my brother as a kid and I forgot it but he remembers?? It's all the time. If I look at a child or a baby I start thinking "am I just looking at it because I'm attracted to it" then I just starts flooding in. I feel like everybody knows I'm a pedophile and that I'm dangerous and I get scared that that's true. It's not true. Im not disgusting like that but if I have these thoughts am I??? Is it different for me?? What if I don't have pocd and I'm just a pedophile???? What if I made a child uncomfortable or did something worse without knowing it?? It's stressful but sometimes it gets too much. It's graphic and makes me sick sometimes. But I still feel terrible for having these sick thoughts. I don't know how to fix myself but I want to.

Hey everyone. (25M). Just wanted to share about my experience. I’ve been dealing with the tags mentioned above, mainly Pedophile OCD and Harm OCD. I probably have flowed through each subtype already, but these are the ones that I’m currently dealing with at the moment. I would say this has been going on for around 2 years or so? Maybe more. I do want to say that the struggle has been real. There’s been a lot of tears, frustration, and exhaustion, both physically and mentally. A part of me does fall into questioning why this OCD experience happened to me. I would have intrusive thoughts about me wanting to end my life, end my parents life, or even people I find myself to like. As soon as the harm OCD would “fade away” a new intrusive thought would pop up, that being POCD. Intrusive thoughts that say I’m attracted to children, that I would want to or engage in sexual activity with them, or that I am secretly a pedophile. These two subtypes eventually work together and ruminate to say that I’m a schizophrenic psychopath and that one day I will snap and act out on my thoughts. Deep down, I truly know that I am not what my intrusive thoughts say to be, but the constant rumination, doubts, groinal sensations, and anxiety symptoms trick me right back into the OCD cycle. The way I know why I am not a pedophile, a serial killer, etc. is because I most likely would have acted out on them by now. I wouldn’t be feeling this anxiety, this sadness, or this disgust. (Maybe, maybe not) I had a decent childhood and was raised well, and there have been no signs or desires of it ever before. I was a pretty good kid, did well in school, stayed out of trouble. I was even studying to become a psychologist, maybe as forensic or counseling, because I was super interested in helping others who were struggling to live a “normal” life. So throughout my struggle, day by day I try my best to be present and mindful of who I am and want to be. I know with OCD a symptom is reassurance seeking and to browse the internet to figure out what the hell is going on, but I am grateful for my persistence in psychoeducating myself and studying psychology to know that there is help and I can reach out for help. I wanted to practice what I preached. I’ve been hesitating to reach out for help because I was afraid of the uncertainty and the potential truth. But luckily I found NOCD, and here I am now on my OCD journey learning a little about myself and allowing myself to be open in my sessions. I am barely starting, and I know my desperate ass wants this to be magically cured, but again, practice, patience, self love and courage are things I am working on to create my better self. So I would like to congratulate and wish luck to all of you who have reached out for help and are working through your problems. We got this! Take a breath, acknowledge uncertainty, and embrace your emotions.

Please someone help me... I need advice... and Im spiraling and im triggered... My pocd keeps saying that my worst fear of unknowingly cybering with a minor has actually happened and it's really triggering the hell out of me... I feel so horrible...My pocd keeps saying I "unknowingly erotically role played with a minor" when idek if this actually happened or not... this was nearly three years ago... (september of 2021) for context we were erotically role playing on an 18+ discord server, and then she suddenly stopped responding, before leaving the server shortly after an unknown time... im so freaking anxious and scared... her grammar was fine at first, but then as we were going on, she kept making errors like "boxer" or "then" instead of "than"... my pocd keeps saying that I "UNKNOWINGLY EROTICALLY ROLEPLAYED WITH A MINOR" when idek if this happened or not... some people told me she sounds like/is a young adult... chatGPT tells me she sounded like a teenager... I genuinely dont know what to believe anymore... (these two photos are from her account, and the beginning of our ERP... I hope she wasnt a teenager... I really hope she wasnt...)

I am a parent of child and I struggle with pocd. After two years of difficult struggles and now in ERP focuses therapy I know so much. I know I am not the content of my intrusive thoughts and that thoughts do not equal actions. I've learned that if you get triggered and do a compulsion you can retrigger yourself intentionally to respond differently. Last night I went to pick up my baby and I noticed when I did my hand unintentionally touched his pens area when I was holding him. It wasn't in any sexual way or even something I intented to do. It's just the way I was holding him which I have that way millions of times before. For some reason my ocd made the sweet moment of holding my son into it being weird by shouting to me in My head how my hand was over his private area. I knew this was irrational but the anxiety swept over and I compulsively sat his down bcus I felt icky. After a few minutes I retriggered myself to the cause or my anxiety and picked him up the same which is a normal way to hold babies might I add and sat with the discomfort and it began to pass. Why does this still give me the ick? Am I ruminating too much

Hey guys I’ve been thinking about this all the time, so I told my parents about my condition with my intrusive thoughts and dreams, and they still care and love me, but my mom always says that you should get married if you worry so much, and that will help you, and that she can’t wait when I have children, but I just don’t think any of that will help me, plus I worry so much like if I do find the one I love than how can I tell her of the thoughts and dreams I’ve had, and how can she think I want children at all right now with these thoughts.

I just read a horror story about someone with POCD revealing their thoughts to people and getting shunned and now im getting anxious😭. I had wanted to tell a few of my loved ones about it in a very careful way, but now am not sure if it is a good idea (one works in mental health and another does have severe mental illness). I genuinely wonder if me doing this would be exposure or be compulsive or if it’s a bad idea overall