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these are so hard together 😣 I’m fine with saying I’m bisexual but my brain screams at me. I really don’t know what to do. I’m 27 and married to an incredible man. Ugh. Can anyone talk?

think the worse right now is I get this urge and its saying,"just accept your gay" and it feels like I should but I don't want to be gay, but when I say that it feels like I'm lying to myself. I haven't felt anxiety or distress for a long time, and I know that before hocd I never had these feelings before, but my hocd loves to mess with my past and says,"when this happened you felt like this" Idk but I'm getting these huge urge to accept being gay, n it uncertainty, my hocd doesn't allow that to happen. But I really don't want to be gay, because I genually don't want to be gay, not because of others or anything else, me as a person don't want to be gay

I need someone's thoughts on this I've been starting to question everything and all the things I've done, I've never liked any girls despite being in a girls class for years, but because if hocd I've starting to think about things I've done or thought that are not normal for a straight person, when I was little I used to enjoy watching videos of people making out and I kind of felt aroused when the guy touched some parts of the girl, sometimes i stumbled upon some videos of girls kissing and I remember I felt aroused by that too,then I stopped but growing up I tried to watch porn despite the fact that I'm rarely horny and straight porn just didn't do it for me, then I stumbled in lesbian porn and I actually enjoyed it and would get around by it,but I never questioned my sexuality because I knew that it was quite common for straight girls to watch lesbian porn but the thing is that sometimes I've wanted to do the same things that girls did in those videos,not essentially making sex with them or being touched by them but touch certain parts of some girls(not a lot just the ones I found extremely attractive)and this thought aroused me. Since hocd hit I've been rethinking everything and this thing in particular has stuck with me. Idk really I feel so hopeless because I mean for someone it could not be a big deal being not straight but for me it literally is because my entire identity would be destroyed and I would not be able to play those kind of games cause I would not enjoy them or I won't be able to watch any straight romance movie anymore or I could not fangirl with my friends about some hot singers or actors or even fictional characters and my dream since I was a child of being married with a man and having a beautiful family with children would be destroyed. So right now I would like someone's thoughts on this,like I don't want reassurance I just want to know what someone thinks about this,like do you think I'm not straight in reality?

I've been fine for months, I had my attraction to man back, until two days ago. I was on tiktok a lesbian couple triggered me and I don't know why, I started to feel like I was attracred to the Masc One, but she's not completely masculine, Just androgynous. Now i've been spiraling and I feel like I like women.

This is getting bad. I genuine believe I’m gay now. Feel like I barely have any attraction to girls. I feel like I’ve always noticed attractive guys, more than girls at times but never thought anything past it. Feels weird calling myself gay but maybe because I’m so deep in denial and can’t understand it. Watched gay porn to check and it worked. Sometimes I get off to it sometimes I don’t. This was different like I tried to actually enjoy it and did. I feel lost and hopeless. I don’t want it to be me but it just feels like I’m stuck with it. I’m supposed to marry the most amazing and supportive girl in 6 months and I feel like I’m doing her a disservice. I was actually doing good and it feels like I’ve been knocked to rock bottom. I just want to be happy. I don’t care who it is anymore. I just want these weird ideas of different identities and realities to go away so I can be happy. I’m to the point where I feel like I have to physically be with a guy and test a new live to figure this out. It makes me want to be sick thinking I’ll betray my fiancée like that but I’m so lost. Please help

*not reassurance seeking* i feel no attraction towards guys anymore but i identify as straight. i feel like im just more aware of attractive women. i i also dont get anxiety from my thoughts. what if its not ocd and im actually in denial? and i get that ocd is a doubting disease but sometimes i have these moments of clarity just for it to go back to hell. sometimes i see a hetero couple and my brain would be like "you want to be in a relationship too but with a woman" and im just like🧍🏾‍♀️cuz wtf or "u can never be in a relationship with a man bc ull be wondering whether or not you should be with a woman" i had one intrusive thought and immediately lost all attraction and before this i had a crush on a guy for mad long😭its like my feelings changed overnight. i also cant be around my friends who r girls bc my brain is like "u think their walk is cute so u must be gay and in denial" or "they did something cute/adorable so ur gay" this theme is also worse bc im a Christian. does anyone else relate with me? i just want to know that im not alone with these.

I often get images of disturbing things in my head rather than having a fear that I’d do something to someone else. Does anyone else experience that? Like I’ll have a flash of people’s privates and then it sends me into a panic and I have to move quickly 😞

It feels dumb asking this as if I want it to be clarified to prove something, but I was on tiktok and saw something on tiktok (I don’t feel comfortable saying what) and I got a intrusive thought because of it. I wasn’t trying to let it bother me but I couldn’t just forget that that happened in my head. Why would something like that happen? Then I searched up “sexual obsessions POCD” on Google and the first site that showed up basically listed a lot of the stuff that’s been going on in my head. Then I started to feel better and relieved cause I was like “oh good it’s just ocd”. But it still makes me feel like it’s not…I hate this.

I'm stuck in a cycle of checking and I can't stop. I've checked porn, Google images, listened to gay people talk, gay people with makeup I've looked at everything trying to tell what I am but I can't get a conclusion except anxiety and more confusion I also get groinal movements from checking sexual things but apparently that can happen from anything sexual? Im so confused I can't tell if I'm bisexual in denial or just straight with OCD anymore it's so stressful I spend everynight repeating the same thing which is researching trying to find an answer good enough to stop this suffering I just want a girlfriend and my life back to normal bit I'm scared to get in another relationship due to them having to go through me having these doubts and loss of attraction at times :( I need help I don't want to live this life I want this to all go away and back to how it was

Hi! Thankful for this space where I can talk about things that are way too TMI for other people! I’ve had ocd for about 3.5 years now and have always been terrified to start a medication due to possible side effects. My ocd started as sexual orientation/relationship ocd and I was always so afraid that the medicine was going to take away that attraction from me and leave me feeling like my fears were true. I tried 4 separate times to take a med but never took it longer than I week because I got so anxious of the side effects. I’m getting married next year, and we’re waiting to have sex until we’re married. Mentally, I am unwell and probably should be medicated, but I’m still so scared of the side effects!!! I don’t want my first sexual experiences to be while I’m having a side effect from a drug, we’ve been waiting for 4 years and I really don’t want to throw sexual side effects into the mix of that. Additionally, I’ve heard people talk about how meds numb their emotions, and I want to be feeling happy and excited throughout this season of life! I don’t want meds to suppress me, but I need my anxiety suppressed. I feel stuck

I don’t know what to do! My 13 year old son has suffered with intrusive thoughts for years. He feels guilty of things he’s done in the past when he was super young and obsesses over it to the point that he has to come clean about everything!! He fears that he may be a phedophyle at times because of intrusive thoughts. He’s on Zoloft 75 for it, it was getting better for a bit but it’s getting aggressive again! He is so kind and such a good son and person. He is in counseling but his counselor doesn’t specialize in OCD. I don’t know if I should have them change his medication, idk if there’s a medication that will help him more. I’m so scared I suffered with intrusive thoughts as a kid and teen, I never got help but I’m good now.

It's always mention that OCD's main focus it's the doubt and the "what if" questions, but to be quite honest, my mind barely ever asked any question, most of my thoughs/feelings are like afirmations "you are into dudes" "you are in denial" and the feeling that those statements are true, with or withouth anxiety, that's how mine usually goes

I got very triggered today. I’ve been doing so good, but I read a couple of posts on here that were very triggering for me. I saw a one that it is more likely for this theme to be true and people find out they are actually gay at the end of it and then another one that had said they hadn’t figured it out yet and the just scared me. I don’t want to be gay. I have never looked at women or wanted to be with them until this hit me. It has caused me the deepest distress. I have lost all attraction towards males but now feel false attraction to females and it sets me off. I feel as if I have lost myself through out this. I do not know who I am or what I want. I just want my old life back before this. I constantly get the thoughts of “what if I am gay and just lying to myself” “what if it isn’t false attraction” “what if after all of this I find out I am gay” I’m just having a bad day, and I want this affliction to go away. I see posts where people have had it for years and it stresses me out. What if I never get better? What if these thoughts stay with me forever. I’m just struggling today.

i’m having a hard time with the concept of people having soocd and it coming true. is it more likely for those with soocd to have their ocd fear come true than pocd? it’s so hard because people say ocd is ocd but then it seems like some themes can really manifest?