Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Does anyone feel like they’re fully convinced that they’re gay/lesbian? Along with loss of attraction to the opposite sex?

Not sure if I should be doing this cause at this point idk what’s real and what’s not. But I keep asking myself the same questions and imagining the same scenarios as a regular person who’s questioning their sexuality would, and it’s starting to feel like I really am lesbian :( I’ve asked myself “could I go my whole life without being w a woman (romantic or sexual)” or “if there were no men left and I was surrounded by women for the rest of my life would I be content” I either can’t confidently answer the question or it feels like I’m just leaning towards women :( the scenarios I play in my head now feel like I want them. not sure if it’s just because I’ve been thinking about it sooo much that my mind is everywhere, but I feel nothing for men anymore .. I don’t know who I am anymore. Before the ocd I was perfectly happy with my bf. Sexual and everything, everything was great. I hadn’t even thought of being with a woman :( I don’t understand and the thought of leaving my bf makes me want to cry. But now it feels like I’m going ti be forced to be with a girl, or if I stay with my bf and recover then I’ll actually realize I am lesbian.

Hi there, I am looking to get some support and advice, I recently started to suffer from SO-OCD due to tiktok. My feed started to have videos " if you did this or thought this you are gay" or videos of girls coming out later in life. I have never questioned my sexuality and have always been with men, I find it triggering as some of the things mentioned in the videos, I agree with but never thought it could mean I was gay. It had made me question everything and made me try to look back on the past to see if there were any evidence of this. I am nowhere near homophobic, but this is not the life I want for myself, so why is my mind so fixate on these thoughts if this is not who I identify nor want. I also struggle with ROCD Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated! xx

Why am I noticing alot more handsome men? Is it my insecurities? I've noticed I have no desire to have sex and I've asked my girlfriend what she thinks and she said it's normal because she finds her friends pretty and beautiful but even then finding another man handsome is extremely uncomfortable and makes me feel bisexual. it's causing me alot of anxiety and discomfort right now ):

Has anyone with soocd thought that they looked Lesbian and then just obsessed about it and then thought that must have meant that they were a lesbian and they all the times they though they were going to marry an man just all of a sudden though about it would be a women. It’s like a switch!!!!! It’s horrible and I don’t know what the truth is. I want a man and to have kids but now I’m question all of that and freaking out.

I have had OCD my entire life and my obsessions have changed one after the other. As a child I was afraid I was going to overdose on pills, stab family members, then being transgender and gay, leaving stove or iron on, and now my dominant obsession is getting the wrong degrees and going to wrong school. I’m 39 and it’s very debilitating. When the intrusive thought comes about my education I feel so bad and I feel like I’m being held hostage. It’s very intense and I wasn’t able to hold a job and I contemplated suicide many times. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt because the major and university didn’t align with my values or who I really am. I would seek relief by googling the university etc. but it never helped. My OCD has taken over my entire life. Whenever I think about my education I don’t like it and it doesn’t sit well with me and I don’t even like discussing it with anyone. I feel dead inside and I feel like I’m just surviving. I carry a lot of guilt and shame and I always feel like the worst.

How do I stop the thoughts of false attraction towards a family member like my dad it won’t stop and I feel like such a bad and manipulative person

I’m in a really bad panic at the moment re my ocd. I’m trying so hard to accept the thoughts/feelings and accept how real and true it all feels, despite the panic and anxiety. I read somewhere that you can clearly tell the difference between a thought about your sexuality being true vs an ocd thought. It said if the thoughts/feelings/narrative makes you feel panic, anxiety and dread, like you don’t want the thoughts, then it’s ocd. If they make you feel warm, content and normal, then they’re likely not ocd. Is that how people and psychologists differentiate? My situation is that I’m a 36 year old male that never questioned or had to question my sexuality until one day at 26, I had the question pop up “are you gay”. Since then, it’s like I don’t know who I am anymore. Questioning, checking, anxious 24/7, wanting to escape myself. Help :(

I have had bits of OCD and anxiety as long as I can remember but never in this way. I am in a 3+ year relationship with my now fiance. About 8-9 months ago I started heavily doubting our relationship.. doubting his love for and intentions with me and that we'd inevitably split up. That turned into me questioning my love for him. Questioning if my amount of sexual desire was "normal", if it's "normal" to find other men attractive if youre with the "right" one and that would go in and on. Then came the SO-OCD. These worries, fears, and doubts made me questioning EVER bit of my sexuality and that being the reason why I've felt a lack of contentment in my very healthy, stable, consistent relationship. I feel as though this is my body going full on protector mode!! I've had my share of trauma growing up and in adult relationships that have left me with tons of relational wounds and then pile on a lifetime of fantasizing about what it would be like to find "the one" (thanks Hollywood and social media lol). All of this to wonder if anyone can relate to all of this and how you've been working through layered traumas and OCD

If I could just go back in time and prevent myself from being so hooked on sexual things my life would be so much better. This has caused so much problems for me. OCD overall, anxiety, very bad sleep, intrusive thoughts, extreme stress, worrying, no motivation, and no enjoyment of life. I feel like a disgusting person and I don't feel like I'm getting closer to where I want to be. It's so hard trying to live my life without this stuff bothering me so much. I can't even envision a life without it besides my childhood. But that's only because I didn't know better. I don't know how I can just live life with all this anxiety and physical wearing and tearing. I was planning to see my therapist today, and I have little to no sleep. I can tell in how red some spots in my eyes are. Those red spots are always there. I'm never not stressed. I just feel hopeless and it feels like I can't keep going further. Nothing suicidal at all, it's just that I'm tired of this. I'm tired of waking up and dealing with the same thing over and over again.

I've been dealing with a sex addiction for many years now. I've been constantly googling about my situation, desperately wanting to find someone in a similar situation to mine just so I don't feel alone and have someone that understands. I haven't found an exact situation but similar ones and it still doesn't help. I can't help but do this compulsion because I need a distraction from my bad thoughts and physical symptoms. Everytime I try to Google about my situation I get strong groinals and I don't mean to be aroused by this stuff, I just want to find someone that is in the same boat. I read so many different stories just to feel less alone and it sort of helps in the moment but not long term and I just end up coming back to the posts. Several nights I've been struggling with insomnia symptoms and I can't shake them off. I've been worried about this for months now and I just hope it goes away completely and never comes back. Because of this now I'm worried I'm going to develop prostate cancer in the future because of this prostate infection that I have. I don't know if it works like that but now I'm just scared for my health and I don't think it will ever go away

My ocd was already kinda bad today, then I saw my bf and he started talking to me about us moving out (which I wanted at some point…I think 😞) and I’ve never been so anxious. I know I love him, I know he feels like home. But I feel so uncomfortable now and now idek if I truly want to have a future w him. Like I do. When I think about it, I do I know I do. But when I’m with him and the anxiety starts it really feels like I don’t 😭 and then after those feelings started I started having images of being w a girl instead and now i feel like I’m just fighting it and I’m in denial.

Hi, just wanted to post to see if someone can relate or can help me. I’ve had intrusive thoughts about my sexuality here and there, ever since I can remember. But I was always able to move on from the thoughs as I knew deep down they didn’t align with my values. I’ve recently moved to another country to travel with my long term boyfriend and on the first day here I had an intrusive thought that I couldn’t brush off which triggered my first ever ocd episode. Since then I have convinced myself that I must be bi. I’ve gone through past interactions with women and my brain has changed them into reasons to support being bi. I’ve also thought that because clips of girls in couples came up on my tiktok it must mean the algorithim makes me like these videos. I’ve also remebered times in the past where I’ve been worried about being gay so have done an online sexuality test that came out as me being bi … and at the time that gave me relief because it meant I could still be with my boyfriend and I moved on from the intrusive though. But now I’m thinking back on this and freeking out because I don’t actually consider myself bi. Can anyone else relate to this? I’m having the worst time travelling at the moment because of all of this. It’s as if I don’t know who I am anymore. And because of all this it’s actually made me develop Rocd and made me think horrible things about my relationship with my boyfriend who is my absolute rock and best person in my life and who I want to be with forever. Thanks in advance if anyone can help me with this. Posting this is also making me very anxious as I’m scared of the responses I might have.😭

I am so happy with my girlfriend, but every time i see a good looking guy i start having thoughts about liking the guy and feeling guilty cause i am in a relationship and even if i would be cuddling with my girl, a random thought about a guy could ruin my mentality, it would make me feel like an impostor and i wanna know if this is normal, i know my ocd can make me question my SO, but i dont want it just to be denial, idk how to differentiate denial from my ocd.

I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. Loss of attraction, constant running thoughts, groinal responses, intrusive thoughts, while trying to function like a normal person throughout all of it. I feel like I’m not a lesbian anymore :(

Does anyone else get these feelings that they don’t even trust calling themselves their correct orientation anymore? Like I just feel like I’ve lost myself and deep down I’m not really a lesbian. Even though I was once so sure that I was :(

I struggle worse when we leaves for work in office. I’ve been struggling with this for so long and I’ve made no progress. I keep pushing back therapy again (I tried ERP twice) and I got a little better but not much. I’m scared, hopeless and unsure. I do not care if I am bisexual, but I just really want to be with my husband and have kids. I do think women are so beautiful and get turned on by them in porn. Although, I just can’t actually picture myself being sexual with them or in a relationship. My brain gives me this deep feeling I’m just in denial. But when I get out of my head, I realize I love him, his humor, his intellect, his values, and kissing and cuddling him. So why do I have this strong nag I’m gay if I love all those things? I just want to live peacefully😔 we are trying for kids soon and I am getting freaked out. I really want a family with him. He will be the best dad. I had a not so great dad so that’s all I want for my kids. He’s also the BEST to me too. This makes me suicidal when I think of not being with him. On the outside to everyone I look fine, but truly I am not (usually) 😔 again I even accepted I’m bisexual but even that feels so odd at times. Please help or give ideas/insigt.

Recently I have been struggling with sexual themed OCD and my main concern is that I can't help but thinking of real life situations, sexual thoughts, and feeling like I would enjoy it in real life (pocd, etc). I even have dreams in which I enjoy these sexual situations. I even feel like I like to think of these thoughts to test myself. I feel really disgusting and lost... Is is OCD or real attraction? Does it happen to anyone else? Would anyone have advice for me? Thank you so much and good luck 🫂

Ok so I’m freaking out right now guys this has really got me , I’m reading up about urges etc on the internet and like how people with harm ocd might want to harm themselves , so what if u have pocd do u urge to want to do something sexual with a child ? Surely then that does make you a pedophile or are the urges compulsions ? I’m so confused and scared about this

You know what I really hate about this stupid disorder? That up until my first stuck intrusive thought (when I was 26), I knew who I was. I was happy. I had goals. I had friends. I was the most confident I’d ever been. Then from that very moment, it’s been 10 years of me being anxious, losing my life, losing just about everything. Not even sure who I am anymore. Questions after questions after questions of wether I’m attracted to someone, sexuality, ROCD, SOOCD. And not once have I felt myself. How can a healthy, happy 26 year old man go from one day knowing themselves to the next, 10 devastating years of not being able to think about ANYTHING OR ANYONE else except my theme? How?! I hate it.