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Can hocd actually make you feel like you ga?

I feel like mine isn't really thoughts anymore it's just rumination, doubts, anxiety and compulsive checking. But because I don't get intrusive thoughts anymore or as much I feel like I don't even have OCD and it's really triggering me making me feel like I'm actually bisexual or attracted to men. I'm losing attraction to women now as well I hate this

My dumb ass has been reasurance seeking so much, researching, Reddit, quizes, gay Vs denial, bisexual Vs denial, and checking aesthetically good looking men and now nothing reassures me for long periods of time. It's ruining my relationship I'm losing attraction I have porn addiction too not compulsively checking but I do check alot of the time and it's also escalating onto things I wouldn't do in real life. My life feels ruined by this relapse because life was finally good I finally got a beautiful amazing girlfriend, went gym, got new clothing, haircut and was overall happy but just finding men handsome, liking their voice etc causes me alot of anxiety because it's not every so often it's a very common thing now and it makes me so upset not because being bi or gay is wrong but because I don't want sex with men it doesn't make me happy or excite me I wouldn't even do it for money. Women make me feel so good inside, excited, butterflies I just want to be married and spend my life with a beautiful women but with this shit I doubt everything I can't even have same sex friends out of fear that it'll be more than platonic. I wouldn't care if I was 10% bisexual and 90% straight because id always be straight over everything I love women even though they make me nervous my response has always been positive. I really REALLY need help I can't live like this I'm not suicidal or anything but I'm extremely depressed it's causing my girlfriend to become distant we don't do nothing sexually even though before this relapse I was craving it all the time cuz of how much I love her. How do I stop this anxiety and doubt? Why is there even anxiety around this? I'm confident enough to say I find men handsome but that's all it is? So why can't I figure this out? No matter how much research the next day I just find myself repeating it trying to solve the big question if I'm gay or not. Even though logically I'm attracted to women exclusively I may have done things growing up as curiosity but crushes have always been women, sexual fantasies always women, women have always made me excited I loved it even growing up I was obsessed with wanting a girlfriend not because of society but because that's what I wanted? A romantic and sexual relationship with a woman. If the cure is to sit with this discomfort why do I have the discomfort in the first place? Because I can find men handsome? But that doesn't make me attracted to them sexually I've never looked at a man and thought "I'd love to have him all to myself and fuck him" I've only said that about women? Groinal responses as well they're a pain in the ass especially when I check porn it's a massive anxiety trap and makes me question shit even though it may cause a physical response I don't like it mentally I want it gone I want this all gone without any doubt. If anyone spent their time reading this thank you. I feel so alone at the moment and isolated with confusion with no one to talk to

The past couple of days have been torture. Last night, visuals plagued my mind, thinking I would do something sexual with my friend. I hung out with her today and was anxious the entire time. I can’t even have fun anymore. Groinals, constant thoughts, checking, getting nervous and weird when she gets close to me, eye contact is hard. Does anyone else have sexual orientation ocd and find hanging out with your girl friends to be very difficult? I was doing alright for a while and wasn’t getting terribly triggered. (I have a bf btw)

i keep getting thoughts like ‘try being a p and see if you like it’ and stuff like that when i’d genuinely rather die than be like that. then i try not to think about it but i can’t stop thinking about it which makes it feel like im thinking about it on purpose

The thing about intrusive thoughts is that I only push them out of my mind when I know that they’re completely outrageous. When I get intrusive thoughts that are more convincing, I want to make sure that the content of the thought doesn’t bother me before I push it out. And this is what sucks because why is my own judgement not enough? I know I’m a lesbian. I know that I never want to be with a man. Why do my thoughts keep telling me “you like men and you know it” and “the only reason you avoid men is because you still like them and you know it” and “if you were to try a man, you’ll like it and you know it. That’s why you avoid them so much”??? Like bye that doesn’t even make sense. But OCD also hates facts bc as soon as I’m like “FACTUALLY, bitch, the fact that I never want to end up with a man or am even having anxiety about liking a hypothetical and what feels like inevitable future with a man is proof that I’m not attracted to them”, my brain just refuses to PROCESS THAT and just TRASHES it? OCD is SCARY.

A while back my dog sat on my lap and her leg/paw was at my crotch and it felt like I was TRYING to feel smth down there but idk why I think like for a specific reason like to check something or I’m not sure how to explain I just know it felt like a form of checking but now looking back it felt gross and I feel so like bad about it like it was gross or something and I feel guilty but like now I’m scared I might be explaining it wrong but now I’m scared if I’m a zoophile, again it felt like I was trying to feel it in a checking way but I felt gross and I’m guilty about it now I’m rlly scared I can’t stop thinking about it this is a repost bc it keeps coming back to me and it’s making me worry a lot

Okay so I've been non stop checking for a few days now and it's ruining my relationship with my girlfriend. I'm constantly having doubts that I'm secretly bisexual and all this attention I'm bringing to it is making me depressed because I don't want to see men that way. There is nothing wrong with being bisexual or gay but it doesn't make me happy or feel authentic neither have I ever had a crush on a man before the most I feel towards men is giving them a hug or thinking they're handsome but sexual things make me uncomfortable. The question is can checking pornography escalate things and make things worse for this theme? Or even checking in general like taking quizes, tests, asking friends or even wanting to experiment with porn to find the answer? Whenever I check porn my sens feel hypersensitivity towards them and if I feel anything below I go straight into panic mode. This theme is honestly ruining me mentally and physically and my relationship is getting more distant by the day I hate this and every time I post on here I feel so alone. I have no one to talk to and I'm afraid so any help would be more appreciated than you'd know.

I have no anxiety with my thoughts, sensations, and images of being with the same sex anymore. It’s like my body finally decided to just accept that I am really lesbian.. my mind starts to wander now of dating women and even though I don’t enjoy the thoughts, it feels like I want to do them. Or I would want to do them one day. This literally crushes my heart to think that I’d have to leave my bf whom I love so much, as soon as my mind throws the thought or image of me breaking up with him over this my chest hurts and I instantly start crying. My heart is in pieces…but at the same time it feels like that’s what’s needs to happen 😭

I think I've struggled with OCD all my life. I struggle with intrusive thoughts alot and recently I just broke down and fell into a spiral I can't get out of. I found out about relationship OCD and sexual orientation OCD and think I may have those. I had an intrusive thought a few months ago that what if i didn't love my fiance anymore and since then I can't shake the idea. Just the day before I told him how much I wanted him to be my husband and up until that point I didn't question my love for him. I don't understand how things can just shake me like that quickly. I know I love him deep down and anytime I get those feelings back my brain is like "you sure about that?" A week later I had a thought about what if I've been a lesbian this whole time and that I'll marry my fiance only to come out as a lesbian in the future. I've always been ok with being Bi, I considered myself 10-20% into women and 80-90% into men. I always had crushes on men and dreamt of finding the man for me one day. I also find women nice to look at but I don't know if it's admiration or actual sexual attraction. Either way I was find with identifying this way but now I'm so stressed that I've actually just wanted to be a lesbian this whole time and that I'm in denail and closeted. These thoughts are debilitating and now I can't look at women without being stressed or getting aroused.

I can't help but to get really anxious and panic when I'm watching a movie and I see a male that has good looking features. Because it makes me think that if I'm noticing that they are a good looking person. then I have to question my sexuality. Especially when I'm sitting with my girlfriend. I get super nervous because my body reacts with a chill that runs down my skull and hits me in the gut. Then I feel super embarrassed when this happens. I know that I'm not attracted to men because I don't think about them sexually or want anything to do with them in that way. I've had other instances where this have happened in public at my old jobs that I had to leave because ppl think that I must be gay. I'm the straightest gay guy I know I guess. Lol but I was literally tormented and made fun of at those jobs. But it actually gave me a stronger mindset. I also have lots of trigger words that will make me act strange. I just want to live life ! It's been exhausting. I also cannot stop creating the ideas that I'm being cheated on in every relationships and my past relationships suffered and I don't want it to keep happening.

Please , please… someone give me some advice who is or has been in similar situation?? I need to stop confessing to my partner. I know it hurts him, he said he knows I cannot control that I have a mental illness, or that I have these thoughts in my head but not to put them in his head, he doesn’t want to think about them which is understandable it’s not just random thoughts it’s intrusive thoughts revolved around ROCD, SOCD mostly are my ocd themes that I confess to him… we have spilt up over this before and he gave me another chance and just continues to do that, because I just keep doing it, I know what I’m doing, I know it’s wrong, but the anxiety ocd gives me nothing else will calm me until I confess either to him or if it’s not him it’s my mum, either way I’m still confessing the difference is it doesn’t hurt my mum when I confess, she can handle it, my partner cannot. I hate myself for doing this, I don’t know how to get out of the OCD haze… best way I can describe when I feel anxious over ocd is a feeling of DOOM. 😔😭 please pray for me… please pray for my partner, my daughter, mother, everyone who is affected because of my mental illness… 🤎

It’s as if I had a huge wave of realization that I actually am lesbian. Up until this point it was like part of me knew I wasn’t lesbian but now it feels like my body and mind is just accepting it, as if I’m too tired to fight it and the “proof” in my past is too much now. My mind is already putting scenarios in my head of how to tell my parents and the anxiety of having to tell my bf :( I don’t know what this is and I don’t know who I am anymore

Can someone tell me how SOOCD is my brain trying to keep me safe? 8+ years constantly wanting the feeling that I’m gay to go away. Ever since this thought popped in, I can’t stop FEELING like it’s true and I am actually gay. Why would my brain do that? How is that my brain keeping me safe? If anyone could logically go through how this theme works, that would be great.

Does anyone feel like they’re fully convinced that they’re gay/lesbian? Along with loss of attraction to the opposite sex?

Why am I noticing alot more handsome men? Is it my insecurities? I've noticed I have no desire to have sex and I've asked my girlfriend what she thinks and she said it's normal because she finds her friends pretty and beautiful but even then finding another man handsome is extremely uncomfortable and makes me feel bisexual. it's causing me alot of anxiety and discomfort right now ):

Has anyone with soocd thought that they looked Lesbian and then just obsessed about it and then thought that must have meant that they were a lesbian and they all the times they though they were going to marry an man just all of a sudden though about it would be a women. It’s like a switch!!!!! It’s horrible and I don’t know what the truth is. I want a man and to have kids but now I’m question all of that and freaking out.

How do I stop the thoughts of false attraction towards a family member like my dad it won’t stop and I feel like such a bad and manipulative person

I’m in a really bad panic at the moment re my ocd. I’m trying so hard to accept the thoughts/feelings and accept how real and true it all feels, despite the panic and anxiety. I read somewhere that you can clearly tell the difference between a thought about your sexuality being true vs an ocd thought. It said if the thoughts/feelings/narrative makes you feel panic, anxiety and dread, like you don’t want the thoughts, then it’s ocd. If they make you feel warm, content and normal, then they’re likely not ocd. Is that how people and psychologists differentiate? My situation is that I’m a 36 year old male that never questioned or had to question my sexuality until one day at 26, I had the question pop up “are you gay”. Since then, it’s like I don’t know who I am anymore. Questioning, checking, anxious 24/7, wanting to escape myself. Help :(

I have had bits of OCD and anxiety as long as I can remember but never in this way. I am in a 3+ year relationship with my now fiance. About 8-9 months ago I started heavily doubting our relationship.. doubting his love for and intentions with me and that we'd inevitably split up. That turned into me questioning my love for him. Questioning if my amount of sexual desire was "normal", if it's "normal" to find other men attractive if youre with the "right" one and that would go in and on. Then came the SO-OCD. These worries, fears, and doubts made me questioning EVER bit of my sexuality and that being the reason why I've felt a lack of contentment in my very healthy, stable, consistent relationship. I feel as though this is my body going full on protector mode!! I've had my share of trauma growing up and in adult relationships that have left me with tons of relational wounds and then pile on a lifetime of fantasizing about what it would be like to find "the one" (thanks Hollywood and social media lol). All of this to wonder if anyone can relate to all of this and how you've been working through layered traumas and OCD