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hey do i recent started taking birth control pills again and i noticed that my moods are really bad and i am feeling very depressed and suicidal should i stop taking them is this normal ?

i want to feel human. i want to feel emotions how normal people feel them. i get everyone is different but i dont get it. everytime i feel human for a second i get a random feeling of discouragement and false sense of temporary joy. i want it to stop but it wont stop why wont they stop. ocd and bipolar are not a good combination

We all have triggers to our OCD but what mine are like are i just recently got out of my OCD attacks, but recently there’s a story of a girl who recently committed and me being dumb knowing that that stuff triggers me watched all about it. now my thoughts are “what if i do that” “what if im not happy in my life” “what if i want to kill myself” but also “your just like her your depressed and want too” and “your not happy” when in all reality i’ve been so happy with my life and living until i started watching all of those videos. I’ve been panicking all day and have been isolating myself from everything because i feel like everything is a trigger to my thoughts. my thoughts are convincing me that i want to kms and im not happy but in reality i am. i hate ocd so much i hate it. because i know i would never do this thought but its causes so much stress and time of my life i feel that i cant function.

what are some things that help when you have unwanted thoughts and urges? For me i notice whenever I am upset I have a strong urge to want to hurt myself. I have too much anger built up inside of me and I need help. The gym helps calm me a little bit and i used to crotchet but i have been busy lately. Please any advice. I don't want to sit with these feelings or thoughts because i am scared of what will happen if I let go and hurt myself. I am scared of myself because i know i can be very violent because of all of my traumas.

I have pocd and i’ve started feeling better about the whole thing but I can never fully get over it. I don’t have panic attacks over the intrusive thoughts anymore, but I can’t help but feel so grossed out and whisper “ugh i hate myself, i wanna kms” to myself. It’s like every time i start feeling happy about anything, I get reminded of the fact that I have disgusting thoughts that I shouldn’t and I can stop thinking about how it’ll affect my future. What if it gets worse. What if I get in a relationship and he wants kids. I don’t ever want to have kids and I don’t ever want to explain to my s/o what i’m going through. What if my ocd gets really serious like it was last year but I won’t be able to get help because I can’t tell anyone. Ik others without ocd will never understand. Sometimes I really wish that I die so that I don’t have to deal with that. But I want to live and enjoy life. I want to travel and fall in love and have a family, but Ik my ocd will never let me be happy.

For those OCD Conquers who have POCD, Harm/Suicidal OCD etc ... I would love to know how you got through Of course ERP, but how are you really doing today?? Do you still get thoughts of POCD or Suicide OCD? If yes, what's one Response prevention TIP that really worked for you? Needing some inspiration NOT reassurance that it's possible to move on from this OCD loop I am in at the moment

Hi everyone. Has anyone's OCD skyrocketed after an abusive relationship and/or after having children? I've always had some version of OCD but two years ago in February of 2022, I experienced this really horrible bout of DPDR. I lost my sense of self, I was having really strange spiritual thoughts or existential thoughts. I was in an abusive relationship at the time. I'm still recovering from that. But my OCD jumps around. Today, I was worried I was having a brain aneurysm because of a mild headache and because I'm prescribed Lexapro for my depression/anxiety and a low dose of adderall for my adhd. I've been on these meds for a while with no issues but I am now getting thoughts like," maybe I'll have a stroke or an aneurysm from my meds." With no reason to think so. And then I spend hours googling. The health anxiety and death anxiety are fueled by a fear of my kids being without a mother (I'm a single mother.) in some ways, the fear has helped me to make healthier choices but these thoughts of death and the million things that can cause it are taking away from the joy of living. The DPDR seemed to kick this off. Does it ever get better? I exercise, meditate, pray, talk therapy, I just want to feel like "me" again.

Suicide OCD people help. Tell me your stories, tell me it gets better and eventually stops, tell me it’s normal. Tell me something !

I feel like I just can’t do it anymore. Every new day brings new triggers and I’m starting to believe that I’m a monster that needs to be tucked away from the rest of the world. Not only for other people but for myself. I just want to sleep. I am so tired. And I can’t even begin to tell my family because they just don’t understand. They think OCD is simply cleaning and tidying up things and I can’t seem to get it through their heads that I’m living with this disorder, day in and day out. I just want some relief, even for a little bit.

my mom shared a post with me about someone we knew being arrested for cp things. i’ve been obsessing over it for like 30 min now. i feel like i want to watch those things and i would like it. would i actually do it? no. do i feel like i would like it? yes. what if this isn’t ocd and i’m actually like that. i’ve done things in my past as a kid that could make me believe i’m a pdo and i just think what if i’m still like that or what if i am that. i feel like i don’t deserve to live. i’ve been imagining these types of things to test if i really like it and i feel like i do, i feel gross.

- any Christian with advice is highly needed ! I’m suffering from pocd thoughts for about two years now, feb this year was the forts time I experienced this I have no relief I always have these responses all the time and I can’t even live in peace it’s so bad and idk what to do I’ve been crying none stop and I just want to know what can help me not get responses anymore These feelings/thoughts make me want to kms..

Last year, I lost my dad. I completely lost it and had to be put on antipsychotics and depression meds. I’m currently on Vraylar which is supposed to help with most of my diagnoses including OCD (according to my doc). She’s been trying to get me into CBT and read a 70 dollar book (my adhd makes it hard to focus so I struggle with reading); it’s not a favorite past time of mine because of that and my dyslexia. I’ve lost my ability to drive unless my wife is with me (she’s my safe person) and same goes for leaving the house. I can’t make myself drive or leave the house without a support human. My doc says CBT therapy will help but I’m so nervous that I’m going to be stuck like this forever. I rarely drove before my dad died but I did drive and since his passing, I can’t bring myself to do it. I get so many intrusive thoughts that I’m going to kill myself or others by driving. I’ve been in 3 accidents alone in my suv and so it’s not like I shouldn’t be worried (only one accident was my fault due to not checking my blind spot for reference). I’m an extremely careful driver but I think of all the worst ways it could go bad. Has anyone else dealt with this and has CBT helped? Are you driving or doing the things you used to be able to do again? If so, how did you do it? I’m at a loss here and my wife keeps pushing me to drive but I can’t force myself to do it. I get to the front door and I can’t leave the house even with keys in hand. Sorry for the novel but this is what I’ve been dealing with for the last almost year or so.

Some examples of my thoughts, images commands, feeling and sensations. Who relates to these? -stomach dropping making my chest tight -rapid heart beat/skipped beats -images of horrible scenerios like driving off a bridge or hurting someone or images of what me “snapping” would look like. -looking in the mirror and getting scared that my face will change into a demon face so I stop looking in the mirror. -looking too long at my son and having to look away so I don’t hallucinate a different face on him (even tho I’ve never hallucinated) -what if you’re a horrible monster and you’re going to off yourself -what if your husband and son are demons -you shouldn’t be left alone with your child in case you hurt them -images and scenerios of me texting my husband while he’s at work and telling him I’m killing our son and then myself (even tho I would literally never do this. It makes me sick to even type it on here) -what if you you have schizophrenia even though you’ve been professionally diagnosed (twice) with ocd -what if the ocd specialist was wrong and you don’t have ocd and you’re dangerous -what if you go into psychosis. -what if you are In psychosis right now -what if you were scared of your hands…?¿ this one is so weird lol -what if that bug isn’t real -what if you hear voices -kill them -they’re better off without you -you’ll never get better - you’re crazy. -this can’t be ocd it must be more -nobody else gets these thoughts and feeling -feelings of scared, worried, uncertain, intense anxiety -fears intensifying at night as I’m drifting to sleep -nonsense thoughts that don’t make ANY SENSE at all as I’m trying to fall asleep -what if you believe people are after you one day like a crazy person -what if you already believe this. What if you are delusional. The list goes on. I hope these help some of you feel not alone if you have them as well

Please someone leave any advice or similar stories. I had identified as bi and then had fears about my sexuality a few years ago, and decided on the term unlabeled to describe my sexuality to anyone who asked and it made me the most comfortable because i was confused about my romantic atraction and sexual attraction towards women vs men. Recently, seemingly triggered by pride month and people discussing comp het, while in a relationship with my boyfriend I have been dealing with fears of wondering if I'm really attracted to men at all or what attraction really feels like and being sexually aroused by explicit images of women I had seen by accident. I am worried that I am experiencing comp het or I'm in the wrong relationship or I'm going to hurt my boyfriend. I have also voiced all of this to him and he is there for me, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I have other anxieties about my relationship and worry if those are ocd related or not as well(such as worrying about limerence) but I'm just so terrified. I feel that just because I have ocd that doesn't mean I can have these experiences that other queer people actually have and it makes me worried that I coukd go years without ever knowing just for one day to know and my whole world to be flipped upside down. I'd rather die than for that to be my reality. Someone please leave advice or tips it's all so appreciated.

My father just told me that I’m a bad daughter to him, and in our religion I didn’t get my parents validation, I will go to hell no matter what, so why bother live if I’m going to hell no matter what good I do?

I want to end It all, I feel so alone in my head, like no one understands at all.I just want to end it…

Ive been in treatment for OCD off and on for 2 or 3 years now. Ive been finding myself in a “flare up” after moving and changing jobs. My biggest thorn/theme has been harm, specifically suicide. Just from having gone through this before, I know the line between what’s ocd and what’s truly being suicidal can be blurry. I’ve had people tell me that the intrusive thoughts of death can be OCD or it can be depression. Forever I’ve operated with the belief it’s OCD with sprinkles of depression (who wouldn’t be dealing with this) I guess my worry is that if this is what being suicidal is, I need help, bad. I can tell myself it’s OCD all day, but being it’s the doubting disorder, I ask “what if I’m lying and want to die?” I want this certainty that I’m not truly suicidal and it’s just these unwanted thought. Is it even possible to have that certainty? How can do tell the difference between the two?

I’ve only been in ERP therapy for a few weeks. Recently I feel frustrated like it’s not working. I know I probably need to give it more time and that it may take quite a while but I’m looking for advice here. My therapist is doing a good job but I feel like I need to be doing different exposures. Right now we’re working on things more specific for someone with triggers like putting a belt around my neck, holding my gun in my lap all while saying I’m going to kill myself or I’m going to shoot myself. I don’t have specific triggers though. Mine are more mental and I feel like I need exposures that are going to help me because I constantly say “I’m going to kill myself” or just “kill myself.” Does this make sense?

One of my most severe ocd subgroups is dea()h (I can’t type it). If an image of someone who is de()d comes to mind I have to do compulsions to get rid of it. This of course all stems from the fear of dy()ng and I have this irrational fear that if I do anything at all, including breathing, with those images in my mind or actual images in front of me (like a picture or on tv) it would lead me to possibly have a higher chance of d()ing or earlier. I was wondering if anyone struggles with a similar issue, and if there was something you tell or convince yourself to help alleviate it. I had a really bad episode tonight where it was just constant image after image and I’m exhausted. Thank you!

First I would like to say is that tw and I also can’t afford a therapist and please give me advice I have no peace in my mind I just want to be a normal person again. Since 2022 I have been getting filthy unwanted sexual thoughts towards children I feel awful about it because it goes against my morals and characters as a human being. I feel like a horrible person and I feel like I have no rest in my mind, everyday it’s the same thoughts that torment me and I happens all hours of the day there’s not an hour that goes by the day that I don’t get these ugly horrible thoughts. I recently started getting “feelings” down there and I hate it. These thoughts came back again stronger this February. I also believe in Christ so if you have advice of how I can pray against this because I don’t really know what’s the root of these thoughts. As long as I have these thoughts I can never be free these thoughts have put me back into a state of depression and well as suicidal thoughts I just feel like I’m living hell on earth I am also 17 years old female, so please someone help me. I have tried praying against these thoughts but nothing, I have tried deliverance prayers worship etc but nothing. — I also tagged Christian ocd for advice !!