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Actually, I wanted to post this since yesterday but I was afraid because I felt like I was weird, so lately I've been really scared about what if I have psychosis:( every time I go out and when I see someone with severe mental health struggles (I really sorry i don't mean to demean them or think they are dangerous) this is purely from my fear when I see them I really got anxious like super anxious, And when I open social media, some posts give me a trigger because they make content related to that and I also delete Instagram and TikTok because of this,I really sad cuz I wasn't like this before :(, idk what kind of theme is this, I was really super anxious so in my head was like creating an image or scenario like what if I was like that,Like directly creating visuals about that 😞 and so much what if , so much doubt like "Oh titania, what if you were like them" "You're just denial" etc etc. y'all if you have any advice or or tips, I would be very happy "I'm serious" , thank you 🫶🏻🥹

What if you did something so extremely monstrous. disgusting, awful and horrible as a child but you didn’t know how horrible the events were that your POCD and real events OCD targets? Does it make the intrusive thoughts true? The POCD real events were genuinely extremely awful and horrible... no way around... it genuinely was extremely awful and horrible... I gag and vomit even thinking about it... its that horrible... I'm getting anxious from my POCD and real event OCD based on real events (happened 3 times) from when I was 13 or 14... I cant remember... I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 13 or 14... but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... I don't ever want to ever be a P at all… I don't ever want to ever be a Chomo at all... i don’t ever want to ever be a rpist at all… I was either 13 or 14 when these real events happened and now I'm 24... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay and doesnt remember, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo...  I didn’t realize how horrible the real events actually were… I was either 13 or 14 at the time… now I’m 24… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they mlested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was either 13 or 14… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was either 13 or 14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I cant remember if i was 13 or 14….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13-14 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15 and then did stuff as adults, and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 I had a surface level idea of what these real events were when I was 13 or 14 because someone told me what these real events were before on the same day it happened for the 1st time... (it happened 3 times) but I didnt understand nor truly know the depth and consequences or how horrible these real events were... i truly didnt... I dont ever want to ever be what my pocd and real events ocd say I am... I dont ever want to be a P or a Chomo in any way... These real events were so extremely horrible and awful and worse than people realize... i g4g and vOmit and lie awake at night even thinking about them... thats how horrible and awful these mistakes were... I dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a Chomo or a r4pist or anything like that... im so so so so so so so so so so triggered and anxious... I also did something at the age of 13 that was also extremely horrible... they asked me if i did it or not, but me being 13 and not knowing what i did was wrong and horrible, i denied it because i was scared... ive lived in guilt for so long... i dont love myself... and I genuinely cant stomach the idea that im still here... I feel so guilty and horrible...

Hi, I’m Liam and I just got diagnosed with OCD/Harm OCD and it’s been really difficult. Does anyone have any advice or tips for being new at this?

UPDATE: with my harm ocd hitting full swing... i find myself triggered by my pocd again... and i feel like a horrible person... i tried not to post... i tried to do what people told me... but right now i feel absolutely horrible... I genuinely feel so guilty... I cant handle the anxiety... Im doing horribly right now because I feel so so guilty about this... I have my lovely girlfriend & I wanna be with her for the rest of my life... (shes 22 and I'm 24) I've been dating her for almost 3 months now... and I wanna marry her one day... but right now, I feel like I don't deserve her... especially because of this situation... and its all my fault... Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p3dophilic activity and inappropriately abusing and inappropriately messaging women and minors and abusing others and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... (the 18+ HOCD situations were about 18+ s*xual HOCD situations that triggered me immensely...) When I was 19, in an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... The 14-15 year old said she was uncomfortable the first time and i tried to stop venting to her... after she said i was a bad person because of politics... I vented to her a second time because her saying i was a bad person triggered me... she said she was uncomfortable for the second time and then i blocked her... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I'm so genuinely triggered... I don't want to be a P or a MAP or a groomer or a bad person... I wanna be a good person who does good things for other people... I dont want to be arrested for any crimes... I just want to be a good person who helps people in the medical field... I only want to help others... the last thing I want is to commit any form of harm towards minors in any way... 😭😭😭

Prozac has SAVED me, but I developed ROCD pretty bad during my last flare up. I’ve had ocd my whole life so it attacking what meant the most to me was an always, it focused on religion, but now it’s switched to my fiance. I am about 3 weeks in, I do believe this is temporary because last time I went on a med I was temporarily numb due to the shifting phase. But I am getting minor anxieties. It’s like muted. But it’s thoughts claiming I fell out of love with him because I can’t feel it. Or I have to leave him because I’m clearly not in love with him. Can anyone help me please?

For all those that worry you’re the only person that’s experienced these horrible thoughts, I understand you. For all those that can’t switch their focus from sharp knives when they’re sitting on a countertop, I understand you. For all those that are afraid you’re going to choke someone when coming up behind them, I understand you. There’s a lot of people out there that have had normal lives thus far, yet their world has been shaken the past couple of months/years by the onset of OCD. This was my experience and I completely understand those with the same. I used to cry on my back porch and talk to my mom about how I felt like I was going crazy. I thought the life I had before OCD was entirely gone and that I would be in a constant state of struggle for the rest of time. At first, the worst part of OCD are the thoughts and extreme anxiety caused by them. Personally, after a while, I think my body adapted or something to where I basically became numb. The rapid heart beating and feelings of anxiety were gone, but that only led me to fear that I was ok with the thoughts. All in the midst of this, OCD slowly chips away at your sense of self. Personally, I experienced continual depersonalization and derealization which was terrifying. I would look in the mirror and not even recognize myself. I would talk to my friends, but it wouldn’t seem like they were real. Basically, it feels like you are in purgatory. I was afraid that I had schizophrenia and that all of this was just the beginning. Along with that comes the added pressure of being a young adult and having to always be social on the weekends and drinking alcohol. It can sometimes be an escape, but the hangovers and collateral afterward always set you back. I know how hard it is though to want to have the normal life that it looks like others are having. It’s so hard to not participate in those activities especially if not many of your friends know the struggle you’re going through. Some may even know, but without experiencing OCD, I don’t think there is any understanding it. Eventually, I decided that I needed to get on medication. It’s not an instant magic, but over time, the help has been monumental. I basically never have thoughts about killing people anymore. My self esteem and ego are back. I don’t experience DP/DR anymore, and I’m able to live a normal enough life. I will say the numbing feeling hasn’t fully left and I am still not the same person I was before, but I think that is a product of the medication I am on. For me, it has been worth it though. I used to have too much pride at the beginning of OCD that I could do it without the help of medication. After a while, I swallowed that pill and gave in and it has been a good decision for me. I haven’t been on this app in a couple years, but I was called to post something tonight. Hopefully this helps someone in their battle. I understand everything you’re going through and can promise you that my brain told me all the exact same things that yours has been telling you. Just over three years ago, I broke down crying while eating Chinese food after a Saturday tailgate. I was by myself until a friend magically opened the door and found me. I know you’re in a nightmare, but you just have to keep on fighting and staying the course. I wish the recovery was immediate too, but the truth is that it’s going to take over a year to fully recover. Not to worry, though, the other side of the mountain is much less rocky.

OK, hey y’all I literally downloaded this app from TikTok like less than five minutes ago but I figured I’d give it a shot so basically I’ve always really struggled with health anxiety but recently it’s gotten to the point where I think it’s OCD. I have these obsessive thoughts that I always am dying and recently it’s been about my heart if I feel something in my arm or in my chest, I automatically think I’m having a heart attack recently. I’ve been scared that there’s some random multi leak in my house. That’s slowly causing me death. it’s just things like those and I’m really new to this so any advice or even just some support would be awesome. today was the first time it actually got so bad. I thought I needed to go to the emergency room.

i have problems with basic hygiene. i dont wash my teeth, i shower every three-four days. its also a problem for my boyfriend and i understand it. i was thinking, is it possible that this is because at the beginning of my ocd i was very careful about constantly washing my hands and hygiene in general and now im just burned out?

hi friends. i received my diagnosis about a month ago. i didn’t expect it, as i was seeking treatment for what i believed was strictly severe anxiety. i’ve been doing research to try to understand what exactly my specific symptoms are and what this means for myself. i’ve always feared death an unhealthy and not normal amount. myself, friends, family, my pets, even seeing roadkill destroys me and i feel like i will vomit out of sadness. the earliest time i recall having a compulsion around it, i was a child. my grandfather had passed and i wouldn’t let my grandmother go to sleep because i was convinced she would die if she did. oftentimes i feel i cannot let myself sleep now for the same reasons. i’m not quite sure if it’s always an OCD symptom, because sometimes there ISNT a compulsion. just paralyzing fear where im stuck. i can’t move, think, get up, cope, im frozen. any advice for how to manage these thoughts?

I felt confident in the morning, did my homework from 4-6 AM/attempted to study for my math test for 30 minutes- and next thing you know 1st block of math and by the end of the test I was the only one left to finish it and the only one who turned it in with 4 questions missing, didn't even finish the quiz. I feel so stupid. :^( It's like my mind went blank and I had 1000 thoughts spinning around all at once. I'm so forgetful with information + procrastination and overall anxiety just gets to me. I suspect I have some sort of ADHD or some sort. (but of course I'm not diagnosed & don't have too much knowledge with my symptoms and whats what for that, so it's not a definite answer.) And with OCD, now I'm horrified I'm going to get into massive trouble and I'm preparing myself for more lectures from parents or whatevers coming. I don't know whats wrong with me. T^T And I've ALWAYS been this way so it's not like a burnout moment, despite feeling that way currently. When I turned in my quiz I said "I couldn't finish it all but I did the most I could" with my usual voice pitch going 3x higher and the teacher at that class said he'd talk to my math teacher about it and I went "😁... (nods and walk away)" I've been having nightmares of me going on my knees crying and begging for forgiveness to my teachers and everyone which sounds SO dumb I know I giggle each time I wake up but I'm still really scared. 😵 Anyone who's neurodivergent and goes to school/has had experiences from school. How has it been for you or how was it for when it came to assignments/procrastination? And if you have any advice please do let me know !!

Has anyone else had this type of obsessions that they will develope schizophrenia? It is causing me so much distress lately. Its caused me to have the thought of, "what if I think the TV is talking to me?" Or, "What if I see people as animals, and can't stop?" It has caused so much anxiety that I feel like crying. Can someone else share if they have ever gone through this, please.

So I have ROCD really bad and sometimes I’ll remember random memories from my past of random things and extremely weird things that I did and I know that I did but then my brain will tell me that I did them during my relationship with my fiancé and I’m terrified about if I did or not, and I can’t remember because it was almost 2 years ago when we first started dating, but I’m terrified about if I did it or not or if like I was close to it, my OCD tends to get really really bad around my cycle and I’m on day two of my cycle and so my OCD and anxiety have really been ramped up the past couple of weeks and it’s like every day It’s a new worry or a new fear and I have to try to see if it happened or you know if I accidentally did something and I didn’t realize it was wrong or disrespectful to my relationship. I’m just honestly terrified and worrying about so many different worries or intrusive thoughts about if I did something or not and It’s like I can never have a moment of peace and I only feel better when my fiancé is around me, but my head will try to convince me that I am an awful person and that I did the worst case scenario about anything that I think of or remember in the moment. I have the compulsion to basically go tell my fiancé everything and get reassurance and at the time when I get reassurance, I didn’t know it was bad because you do feel better in the moment but it’s like I have gotten reassurance from my fiancé so many times and the same exact worries come back every single time and it’s just they get worse and worse and worse. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna get better from this or not, and I don’t wanna be in my 40s still worrying about these things. It’s just I don’t really have a great memory sometimes and I’m worried about if I did the worst case scenario and I blocked it out or I just don’t remember because it’s so long ago and I’m genuinely terrified about if I could’ve done something that would be considered cheating or being disrespectful of my relationship. Does anyone else deal with this :(

Two days ago me and my partner had probably the first intense discussion/ argument. I was hurt, we apologized to each other and talked it out eventually. But now I’m constantly thinking about our compatibility, and if I’m being manipulated or if I’m with the wrong person or relationship? It’s been on loop since yesterday …. Does anyone else go through this?? Or is this not ocd related?

I'm 18 years old I was watching pornagraphy and basically I was watching a well known porn actress doing a collab with someone and the other woman basically kinda had a small slemder build and I started to freak out because my mind tells me I'm doing it to kids i would have thoughts of it but I kept going because my mind was like this is a well known person they wouldn't do stuff a child that's illegal my mind starts racing but it was just a petite woman who was built small but my mind still says I was aroused by thinking it was a kid i need help idk what to do if anyone has a input let me know i.feel so alone

im lost guys please help I’ve had what is called ROCD for 2 years and 5 months. I’ve been with him for 2 years and 9 months—it’ll be 3 years this April. For a while now, I’ve been feeling worse and worse. I’m becoming meaner, colder, and more distant. I don't feel anything anymore. Absolutely nothing. Everything he does or says annoys me. Before, these thoughts used to destroy me—I used to think they weren’t true, I didn't understand why I had them, and I felt they couldn't be real because he is so good to me, he accepts so much, and he loves me so deeply. But with time, after all this torment, I’ve started to believe these thoughts. Right now, I keep thinking that I should have broken up with him a long time ago. I wonder why I don't do it now—maybe I just can’t because I know I’ll suffer afterwards, because my family loves him, and because he loves me. But me? I feel nothing. I think that maybe I’ll suffer but get over it quickly. I feel absolutely nothing. How can this be ROCD? How could I love him through all of this? I don’t believe it’s possible anymore. I am destroyed. I am not myself anymore. Maybe I never even loved him; maybe I just loved the idea of a "perfect relationship" which, to be fair, we had at the beginning. Maybe the whole time I was denying the thoughts, I was actually just "chasing the idea" of me liking him. I realize that if I keep going like this, he will eventually get fed up. He has endured enough with me—too much, honestly. Maybe all my tears were just a cope to make me believe I have ROCD and that I actually love him, when maybe that’s not the story at all. All I think is that I don’t like him, I feel nothing for him, and this relationship makes no sense. I feel like my tears now are for me, not for him, not for us. I’m crying for myself because I’m suffering and I’m not happy. Is this life? Is this a relationship? The worst part is he doesn’t do anything wrong. He is kind, he respects me, he loves me, he pampers me. And I give nothing back. I’m not who I used to be. Maybe I’ve changed; I’m almost 19, maybe I’ve just matured. When I cry to my mother about these thoughts, she tells me I love him. She reminds me how happy I used to be and how I’d cry when he had to leave (we were long-distance and he moved to my city for university to be with me). But those words and reassurances don’t help because something inside me is screaming that it’s not true and that I should break up with him for both our sakes. I don’t feel longing, I don’t feel affection, I feel indifference. I distract myself just so I don’t have to feel. My head insults and attacks him. He doesn’t deserve this. I think all this time I just couldn’t accept the truth. What kind of relationship is this?

NO REASSURANCE PLEASE TYYY<3 The scrupulousity is really really bad rn. I was sent an American politics thing and I read the comments section which i really shouldn't have and it spiraled from there and I feel sick and freaked out about my morals. I feel really powerless and shitty and the guilt is eating me alive even though I know I have nothing to feel bad about. I won't get into the subjects of the spirals because I don't think I need to and it would make it worse but it's just really intense and won't stop. I might talk to someone later about this but RN I just really don't wanna feel alone and I'm trying to self soothe and resist arguing with it or proving anything. I'm kinda dissociating but trying to stay grounded but tbh it's just making me go back and forth from crying to feeling numb. Just a really rough patch rn ig. I'm just trying to do my best and take care of myself and get through my college education but it always feels like there's someone out there telling me I need to feel guilty about one thing or another or on the other side of things, trying to tell you that you must think you're the center of the world or the main character if you have a concern or anxiety or feel guilty about something (which is why I don't use social media but if course it seeps in when people send you things) and it gets to my head too easily even though I know these people don't know anything about me and we've never said a single word to each other. The OCD just latches onto harsh moral criticisms because it finds them so important and "if you ignore them, you're passing up growth and you're willfully being shitty" and it's so hard to shut it out. How can I be certain that all these moral criticisms I'm seeing don't apply to my situation? What if I am a piece of shit? The OCD feeds on the self doubt and insecurity. It's a fucking parasite. And it's outside of these little social media slip moments too. I'm walking through the house and I happen to hear the news on, a video someone's watching, a conversation someones having. I can't just go about my daily life without my OCD attacking my peace with every small thing it can grab making ranges out of sand grains. It feels like a poison in my brain. It feels like no matter how much I try to do the right thing to make things better for myself, it always finds a loophole to get to me. I fucking hate living like this. I can't wait till my insurance situation gets sorted out. I need a therapist and I'm willing to eat less for it atp. (Tagged as religion and spirituality but I'm neither. Just using the tag for moral scrupulousity)

Hey, so i recently unfollowed some mutuals on my IG account. Nothing happened or anything, it’s just that I followed them when I was younger and now their content no longer reflects who I am now. I unfollowed and it should have been the end of it, but now I’ve been having intrusive thoughts and major anxiety about them confronting me about it or calling me out for it. I didn’t talk to these people but we just followed each other and that’s it. I can’t relax.

How do yall deal with? It’s so hard and scares me! I’m gonna learn more my next session but my only thing is, how can one be okay with not knowing if what if I do this what if I do that? Like I have to be CERTAIN that I will NOT do such a thing. I myself know I wouldn’t but like how do yall get through it?

I was wondering if this is concerning: whenever either my friends, my partner or I do something that causes even mild annoyance, some displeasure, I try my hardest to figure out what happened. I feel like if I figure it out it'll be a chance to grow and make sure it never happens again. so I read articles, look up shadow work prompts, scour reddit posts, talk about the problem incessantly with my friends, ask for devil's advocate from all sides, try to analyze the chain of events - and when I confront them about it I wanna know all details of what went into thar kind of a reaction. I cannot stop thinking about it at all. I think if I just think right, word it right, they'll understand me, and ill understand them. if I just word the questions right it'll help them realize "ah this is what happened!" I get obsessed with whether I shouldve said something and I shouldve trusted the other person to not have acted in a certain way. I dont know if im doing the right thing by sharing my expectations, hopes and wishes from interaction, from relationships, or just let it play out (feels like a gamble on whether ill like what they do). Is this something that could be OCD? Is it ROCD? and advice is greatly appreciated if u have any😓 I am not diagnosed with OCD, but I highly suspect I have it. I am trying to compile a list of incidents that could point to OCD.

hey guys, i need some advice again😭 so i have felt better these past few days, the intrusive thoughts don't feel as persistent and sometimes they even seem to blur in the background. i should be relieved that i am calmer and that there's progress but i just can't seem to be happy about it. as much as i wanted to escape from the intense emotions i felt at first (guilt, shame, panic etc), i feel like they were proof that these thoughts don't reflect who i am. it's contradictory, but somehow i wanted to keep being anxious because it proved that i am not the horrible person my mind kept telling me i was. but now that i feel so calm, i feel even more unsure about who i am. i keep telling myself that deep down i don't like these thoughts and i don't want to pursue them, but i just can't trust myself and it hurts. what if i'm just lying to myself? i think i'm going through a really weird phase. as much as i want to recover, i can't be happy when i feel better. i think i've been in such a bad place that i forgot what "normal" feels like and that's why it feels so foreign right now. living every single day with those thoughts almost feels like they became a part of me even if i didn't want that. it's like i keep going back to a toxic ex, i'm making it worse for myself. i keep checking and analyzing over and over again because i fear that this calm means the situation doesn't bother me anymore. and because of that i can't enjoy the short moments i feel happy or excited, even if i missed them so much. is this considered recovery? what should i do at this point? i feel like i'm floating through life right now, between two worlds.