If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
so i got checked into emergency two nights ago, and went home yesterday afternoon with a zoloft prescription. since i feel a little sensitive and want to take things easy, i’m going to work on a project idea that came to me while i was there :) i’m really into 3D modelling and i want to create a virtual landscape video game that can be like a peaceful place to explore / experience. it’ll have peaceful music and prompts for self-discovery and healing
does anyone else feel like their compulsion is also their intrusive thought? like my brain says "if you do *intrusive thought*, you wont deal with said intrusive thought again." i really need help because it deals with harm ocd and i really dont want to do anything bad. im so scared. i know it's lying, but it doesnt feel like it and i just feel so stressed and anxious.
I have some questions and a fear : The questions are 1-Do we have free will or we are determined ? Are our feelings , thoughts , desciouns , desires free or they are determined 2- What is I ; what am i ? A brain ? A body ? A soul ? 3- what is feeling , like really what is feeling or imagining , is imagining like putting a picture infront of you but in the mind ? What is thinking , i know that its an electric thing but what do we sense ? The fear is .... Is this hyperreflexivity ? (Which means so high self consciousness ) When the things i take for granted are now not granted .... And if so does it mean the start of schizophrenia That is making my mind state like shit Just not being able to do any thing
Literally every single time I text a friend or hang out with them I’m scared I did something really wrong but not only scared I’m like completely sure of it I just never know what I did. I end up rethinking every scenario to find out what I did wrong and I end up like changing the memories in my mind just slightly even just the tone of my voice when I said something and all I can think about is “they hate me” “I’m a terrible person” “now I’m gonna lose them” etc. and it’s so exhausting. Idk what to do anymore it’s just getting worse. Could this all be an OCD thing?
I’ve had the most terrible day… woke up this morning in such a dark place. I felt so dejected from my OCD. I felt like I lost myself and I was so frightened that I would never come back to the person that I have once known myself to be. Despite it being so difficult and hard, I kept pushing. I was brave and I got through today. IT GETS BETTER. YOU WILL GET BETTER. WE WILL GET BETTER. you are you and no mental illness can take that away from you. Sending love out to everyone struggling with this at-times-debilitating illness.
Not me making myself eat cookies a certain amount of times today because the number of times I ate the cookies would add up to a “bad number” with today’s date and I figured the number I got after eating the cookies a certain amount of times was “better” than the number I would get if I didn’t do it 😐
I keep thinking what if I’ve done something wrong even walking past someone I will think of all sort of things I could have done. The idea of that I could have possibly done these things makes me petrified with fear. But what helps is there’s 0 evidence I’ve done anything wrong that’s what everyone says but my brain tries to find ways around it.
This is mostly a rant, but I feel as if “Cancel Culture” has caused a significant rise in people dealing with the Real-Event subtype. Never before did I think much about my past mistakes, when I looked back on them I felt content in saying, “I’ve learned, I was a kid, I’ve changed, and I’m moving on.” But with the rise of cancel culture in online spaces in recent years, it feels harder and harder to treat my past mistakes with grace. I don’t look at who I used to be and see a kid who was still learning about the world and figuring things out through trial and error, but instead some horrible monster who I have to make sure I hide from any public eye lest I be insulted/ridiculed/ostracized for actions committed over 10 years ago. It’s caused me unmatched levels of guilt and shame, for the past two years I’ve spent every day haunted by things I would’ve ordinarily just written off as a dumb 15 year old being a dumb 15 year old. I gave up pursuing my dream job because I couldn’t stand the idea of becoming well-known and having my past brought up on a public forum, and I now live the most mediocre, devoid of passion, boring life. When does this cycle end? When does this perpetual regret and guilt leave? How am I supposed to live in the present if I spend so much time fearing being dragged into my past- so much so that I now live in my past? If these mistakes were to be put on display, would people forgive me? Would I be deplatformed for good? Would I lose my life more than I already have?
Feeling really sad:( i feel like i cant love myself. I keep comparing and putting myself down. Waiting for this person to text back when its been two months! Cant get a clue. Hes left before. This time idk if hes coming back. He said he didn’t know what he wanted and needed space but the last time i spoke to him he said he was happy and made no moves to have us repair things. When i tried to he said he felt like i was chasing and that he wasn’t ready. On his social media he seems to be getting closer with others (its a bit complicated) but all this to say… i feel lame. I want to just let go. Im still looking for a therapist but in the meantime id love to talk to others going through similar situations.
I had a dream I was with my partner and I was doing stuff with him but he looked really ugly in the dream like chunky. It made me really sad in the dream and I started getting intrusive thoughts like “see you were never attracted to him”. And yesterday I was on t he lesbian subbreddit and one girl said when she had a boyfriend she would just analyze the physical sensations. At the very beginning of our relationship I would do that as well sometimes when I felt awkward or insecure or anxious. My memory of him feels so twisted like I never truly loved him and like it was all for validation but I’ve done that before and my boyfriend feels nothing like that. He’s so pure and the way I feel or well felt idk anymore about him was so pure. He was the first guy that made me put down my walls and start being more considerate of others needs and how to be kind and sweet. He made me feel like a kid on Christmas and everytime I’m around him I feel like I’m flying. Intimacy has been a rough path due to my anxiety and ocd but I just want him like that. Only him. Why does my mind betray me like this ??? :(
How do you deal with the anxiety that groinals cause? Its not even related to hocd anymore its just sexuality in general. I get scared that I'm going to get aroused when I don't want to which in turn makes me feel like I am and then I want to throw up. I can't eat because it makes me feel nauseous. This isn't really living. Its more just "dealing with it". :/ I'm not comfortable. It took me years to properly handle the idea of being attracted to women, but this is different. This is taboo sexual thoughts in general both about men, women, children, old people. I'm so exhausted.
Exactly what the title says. Avoid them. Most of the time they give you false information and feed you false ideologies. People spout bullsh*t for people that will follow and believe that bullsh*t. And you know what makes many people vulnerable to also believing and following that same bullsh*t? The false belief that if a crowd believes something is true, then it must be. That is ultimately NOT true. In fact, the whole planet could believe into something wrong with only one person believing the opposite and being right.It's also scientifically proven than they worsen mental health. There is literally zero benefit in them, you're just addicted. If you want information, read books and find the information your self. Don't settle with second hand, passed from mouth to mouth by people that starve for attention, information but settle with the type that you've found yourself. Learn how to trust yourself little by little, develop your critical thinking skills. While this won't necessarily help much with ocd since it doesn't listen to logic, it will help you to grow as a person. Good luck.
i was just born to suffer and nothing else.
I look at him and I feel almost nothing anymore. It’s worse when he’s away. And when we are together. It flip flops.. I don’t feel like myself anymore. I’m trying but, I haven’t in a long time. I keep thinking that i’m just in this relationship for my own sake. For my own pleasure and that kills me. This has taken over my life. Not to mention, I keep seeing angel numbers. I feel like I’ve been dealing with this for soo long that im giving into all my thoughts and now they seem real. I just want to cry. I want a life with him.. but it’s so hard.. I don’t wanna give up on us.. but it’s so hard
I’ve known this guy for 4 years and we’re about to start dating. I have severe POCD and had an intrusive thought last night that is making me question everything. He said on the phone before sending a picture of this guy that he didn’t like when he was younger, “and the problem with him is…. nevermind”. I immediately thought “wait oh my god what if he was gonna say he’s attractive and now I’m gonna be dating a pedophile?”. It doesn’t make any sense and I don’t think that’s what he was gonna say. Is it normal in ROCD to have intrusive thoughts about your partner being a bad person? How do I deal with it?
Befriend the monsters in your head. Then they aren’t monsters anymore.
Hit and run ocd is truly the worst thing ever. I can sleep and I keep checking the local. Even though, I know I didn’t do anything. But my brain is trying to convince me otherwise. God this is a hard one
I hate false memory ocd now I’m afraid I’ve done something bad looking back thinking about another situation but I knew I was fine in that moment and shortly after
Recently, I got high for the first time, and it was a terrible experience. Even after WEEKS I still have moments where I think I am high or am dissociating. It seems that my OCD picked up on the anxiety that I felt while I was high and tells me frequently that I am intoxicated. It sucks! I can’t even focus in school or do anything without my parents being there. I am old enough to be by myself but my OCD has gotten so bad after this event that I can’t leave my parents side. Does anyone know a mental compulsion or something to prevent this feeling. I am currently blanking out/feel high as I am typing this.
Being free is all about letting go. Our culture acts like “allowing” a weakness, but try it and you’ll know it’s one of the most powerful things ever! Just for today, see what happens if you let go: of expectations, of fear, of resentments, etc. Imagine how light you’ll be without all that (old!) weight. —Kelly Corbet
I. Want. My. Life. Back.
Idk if this will make sense but I constantly obsess over the fact that there are real organs and things inside me and it makes me feel sick and I cant deal with thinking about it because it grosses me out and I’m a squeamish person. I get so scared that this will never go away and I’ll forever be thinking about this. Multiple times a day I will remember I have organs inside me and then I have to do a compulsion to get the thought out of my head bcz i dont wanna think about it and idk what this is called or anything abt it????
i think i’m a fearful avoidant, but my mind tells me i run away from guys bc i don’t actually like them / am a lesbian. the guys i’ve been really into, i run from. and i self-sabotage because i can see that they’d be a great match for me and could be something good in my life. i’ll be fine at first. very warm and affectionate. physically intimate as well. but then i get really freaked out if i’m triggered by something. idk if this just means i’m trying to find a way out bc i’m actually supposed to be with a girl? but i genuinely like them?
Does anyone know how to cope with intrusive thoughts after an embarrassing event? I can’t stop thinking about what happened to me yesterday! I have become infuriated and extremely depressed. I won’t even get out of bed! Any tips to feel better about an embarrassing event that your OCD is targeting it/replaying in your mind?
Throughout my life OCD has convinced me that I’m a lesbian, that I’m non capable of having empathy, a killer, that I have cancer, that I’m schizophrenic, that I’m going to die, that living my life is dangerous. I’m still standing tho
Giving into your OCD—or any mental illness— makes it worse. But where to begin? Every time you catch yourself/your mind drifting off, compassionately bring yourself back to the present moment. In the beginning, this is going to be ALL the time. I had to bring myself back to the present moment every few minutes. If you are about to do a compulsion, seek reassurance, etc. take a few deep breaths before giving in and do something more productive. If you are already doing a compulsion or seeking reassurance, stop immediately and do something pre productive.
Do the things that matter to you instead of focusing on your thoughts. Go to the movies, read, have dinner with your friends or family, go for a hike, exercise, play video games, catch up on chores—anything you need or want to do. Those activities matter, not random thoughts in your mind. Don’t fight against the thoughts, just let them be there like clouds in the sky and stay in the present moment while you enjoy the things you’re choosing to do.
So 2 years ago I posted on Reddit about something I did in my younger teen years that was disgusting and wrong of me. Although now I don’t remember if I deleted the post, what email I used and i don’t know if it could be traced back to me. I’m starting a job and I’m worried that someone will find the post some how and I will lose everything. My job, friends, family. I feel sick to the thought.
Good morning! Iam having a rough week. Had a major trigger by someone from my past trying to contact me. I keep having the urge to confess everything to my husband even know he knows it already but OCD tells me to tell him every detail of what happened otherwise I will loose everything. I have therapy scheduled here on Monday. Will start ERP.. as of now what would you suggest me to do? Thank you and I feel so embarrassed for posting this!
I know they are just thoughts. But it feels real. It feels like I’m about to lose control of my arms and it feels like I want to. I do know they are thoughts but they become more than thoughts. Deep down I know it’s because I let them. But In the moment I cannot tell what is real and what is not. In the moment my arms tingle and my stomach drops and it feels like I’m on the edge of losing control. I hate this.
i feel so indifferent, like I’m losing myself and i’m too late to get me back, i’m losing all my care, i feel so entirely lost
I’m really struggling rn and I have nobody to talk to. I don’t know what to do
Hi so does anyone have any tips for self-erp or tips that help them stay out of the cycle. I spoke with someone through NOCD & unfortunately my insurance doesn’t get accepted so I would be paying out of pocket I don’t know how I would afford that & I’m upset but there is nothing I can do. Im at a hopeless place right now and very emotional. So I need to try to do things myself as hard as it will be.
It gets better
Just because your mind spews nonsense doesn’t mean you have to listen to it, nor what it’s saying is real or what you want. Let it do what it wants while you actually do what YOU want. You don’t have to give into your mental illnesses and you don’t have to take your intrusive thoughts seriously because they are inanimate floating spewing things that no one else knows but you—unless you share them.
But I’m started to get paranoid and anxious about what other might do to me. My harm ocd is about harming others, like the ones I love, but what if it starts to become me being scared of others hurting me ? I’m a 16 year old female, and I feel like people are starting to scare me more and more, especially males. Idk if that’s just natural or my ocd.
Sometimes I get so upset with myself. My bf and I have been dating for 1 year & 6 month but it was about 5 months ago that I was never dealing with OCD or even had any idea of all the other OCDs, like that ones I'm dealing with now. I never questioned myself or relationship with my bf. I gotten better over time but it just so heart breaking to me. I can't stop comparing the person I used to be. I was "normal" and happy, my life and relationship was going great, but now I often cry to my bf and always tell him "I'm sorry this is the me that you get now, I wish all this would have happened before I met you". It's just heavy on my heart sometime.
Hello! Anyone has dealt with real event ocd? Whatever happened was 5 years ago… and I got a phone call from a person related to that event and went downhill with my thoughts. I blocked the person but Iam so scared to even look at my phone! Will start ERP next week. Thank you
I feel better with my hocd, but the attraction to men didn’t come back. It’s even worse :-(. I don’t know why. I thought when I feel better with hocd the attraction come back. And now I feel I have even less attraction to my boyfriend than at the beginning of hocd. I feel even disgust when we have sex or we kiss :-(
I’ve started with SOOCD after experiencing ROCD for months. All I know is that I want to stay with my boyfriend. I love him and can’t let him go but my thoughts are telling me I should as he deserves someone better. I fall down when I compare what I want in a relationship versus what society tells us we should want in a relationship. Can we define our own relationships? I never used to compare so much in past relationships to media representations of love and it’s really bringing me down
There are sometimes where I just feel like my mind is pushing me to give up and I fear my decision to stay committed isn’t strong enough because it isn’t associated with as strong of a feeling. I was wondering how others who struggle with ROCD describe making the mental decision not to leave. During episodes I tell myself to commit regardless, but sometimes it feels hollow(?), and I’m wondering if that’s ok. Is your mental act of committing associated with some sort of feeling or is it more of a cognitive decision to push past those urges and stay?
Just curious if anyone else has had a similar experience… But I’ve had different themes in the past that went away after a few weeks or months but my current theme has been here for over a year and I just don’t understand it. It then has me thinking that if it’s been here this long it must be real and maybe I was just repressing it and now this is my true self coming out.
I’ve had the same themes (all in the taboo pedophilia/harm/incest/bestiality/etc. realm, with one the worst of them all) since I was a child. They never change. And I hear a lot of people with OCD saying, “I know it isn’t real, I just can’t stop thinking about it!” For me, it isn’t like that. My themes feel 100% real, and they don’t shift around. And sometimes reading things that other people with OCD have written where they say that “I know it’s not real” line, or hearing people with OCD talk about how frequently their themes change, makes me feel isolated even within the OCD community. Sometimes that makes me feel like I’m an even worse case, or am “different,” andy themes are just a real thing for me, like OCD likes to taunt us sufferers about. I’m just looking for some listening ears, and maybe some people who understand the OCD experience that I have, that sometimes seems a little different from other people’s.
Nothing is burdensome if taken lightly, and nothing need arouse one's irritation so long as one doesn't make it bigger than it is by getting irritated. —Lucius Annaeus Seneca
OCD may cause parents to experience distressing symptoms related to their children: themes like Postpartum OCD and Harm OCD can particularly debilitate parents with OCD. And when raising children with mental health struggles, it can be even harder for parents to take care of their own. NOCD’s Regional Clinical Director Taylor Newendorp, MA, LCPC, joins the Mindful Men podcast with host and fellow father Simon Rinne to discuss living with OCD, raising children with mental health struggles, and other important topics for parents: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mindful-men-podcast/id1604992311
Does anyone else have this huge fear that they are going to sexually assault someone or hurt someone in their sleep? I have this fear that like I definitely did that to my bf and I just can't fully remember. I have very vivid dreams and I already sleep talk so I'm worried the ocd may cause me to do stuff in my sleep or like the meds I'm on. I'm like freaking out because this is something you can't even be sure about.
I’m so tired of living with OCD. Like I get mentally drained and I just don’t feel like myself anymore, I feel like I’m so detached from my body I’m just watching myself live.
I feel like the OCD thoughts or images wouldn’t even be a big deal to me if there weren’t false feelings or urges or arousal attached to it. That’s what makes this so freakin hard. It just feels like you are truly becoming what your mind is saying you are. Does anyone else feel these feelings or urges that you want to do it but you know you don’t but it feels like you’re fighting against these emotions. It’s so terrifying that it feels like you’re fighting against your mind.
Someone else has checking compulsion ? I know it's weird but if I feel even a little bit arousal when i see underage profil pictures on social media, i think like "she's cute", "how old is she?" , I'll automatically magnify that and think about sex as if I'm super attracted!!! And I'll have urges to check again and again otherwise it becomes an obsession And after i think i had check because im attract, so i feel so bad. It's really painful for me !
Dunno if I've actually overcame my intrusive thoughts or if I've just become so desensitized to them that I don't care anymore
One of the hardest parts of OCD for me (besides the obvious) is missing the life I had before OCD. I feel like I was so happy even in the hard moments when I thought it was bad. Looking back I’d give anything to only deal with those simple struggles again. OCD has just consumed my life and truly makes me feel unworthy of happiness, of having love or kids or anything good. It’s so hard to feel deserving of good things when you have a taboo theme. Does anyone else feel this?
Having a rough time… we got back together it’s been about 3 weeks and he just is still distant and been very selfish, not giving me any love or affection because he said he lost feelings for me. We been together for almost 4 years. Idk I haven’t felt loved in months and I’m starting to hurt more. He expects me to change and respect his boundaries but he is still doing stuff I don’t really like. This whole thing feels unfair. Like he wants to be single but doesn’t wanna lose me so he doesn’t break up with me. Idk. If I dumped him, he probably wouldn’t even care. I’m confused and hurt, idk. Just venting.
i just thought of this and it is making me anxious. you know how with most false memories people thought they did something but have no memory of it? mine stem around real events that have happened but intrusive thoughts and images are filling the blanks. i actually imagine scenes and think i did that. like my false memories have scenes and idk if it is truly ocd or not.
I’m tired. My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday because my ROCD got in the way. I began ERP yesterday and was super excited but my parents don’t support it and aren’t happy I started without consulting them but I’m paying with my money so why does it matter? I’ve had these thoughts for years and they are really debilitating at times and getting this app has helped me understand it all more and what I am doing have been symptoms of OCD. I know better things are coming but I’m fucking tired. This was a decision I wanted to make for myself and I was feeling desperate like it’s my life
I want to know more about this so if u wanna answer just put the number infront of your answer 1. Is it hard to connect with your SO but you still love them. Or do you think your not connected but you are? 2. Have you ever had the whole do you really want him? Because he isnt this or that? Like constant doubt. But in reality that person is and that. 3. How can i fall asleep in his arms again without having worry or doubt or anxiety??
I have a boyfriend and for as long as i can remember ive always had an interest in boys. Never girls. One thing i regret is watching pxrn and it was girl on girl so my brain uses that against me all the time. Anyways, when i wear a hoodie or a hat i feel like im portraying that im gay or im afraid i look gay:(.
Does anyone else just feel like they don't wanna be alive anymore because of ocd like I want to just not be here anymore but I'm to afriad to die and and everyday I keep dealing with ocd every day of every second and it just keeps feeling worse and worse can anyone help or relate
Your strength is shared when you are present for yourself and others.
Hi all - I have recently been having some intense fear about the fact that I have OCD, and get super bad panic attacks when I bring it up to friends/loved ones (even if they already know I have it). My therapist suggested I post on here to continue to ERP myself out of the fear of the word “OCD” and the fear of telling others I have it. Hoping to train my brain that OCD isn’t scary, doesn’t define me, and that others will not turn away or get freaked out by me mention it/telling them about it in conversation. If anyone else has this fear, I’d love to know how you feel or what you do to overcome it!
I had my first ERP appointment yesterday and it went pretty well. Yesterday I also met with my boyfriend on if we continue or break up. We broke up. It sucks that he didn’t feel heard because my ROCD made everything super extreme,made me not see things clearly, and I wasn’t always the nicest. It ended well and neither of us really wanted to do it, and we may be friends which I think will be easier on my brain, but I know that’s still hard. It just sucks. But I’m glad ERP is going to get me to feel more normal again
My bf and I broke up. He initiated. I keep hoping that we’ll get back together. But his main reason was that he didn’t want to hold me back from certain experiences since he’s the only one I’ve been with. And how his schedule will only get more busy. I want that experience, but I want him too.
Ugh. Seriously stressing here… can’t tell if I actually like the guy I’m dating or if if I’m lying to myself. I can’t stop questioning if my feelings towards him are real. The what if thoughts keep flooding my brain. Of course I turn to Google and it’s like “that because you don’t really like him” and now I’m freaking out even more. I would hate to lead him on any longer and I would never be able to forgive myself if I am .. how do I know if this is Ocd or if I really don’t like him!?
Whenever I see someone that looks like a girl but I don’t know their age or if their actually guys with long hair (mistaken identity) then I don’t find them cute and just stay silent… my HOCD tells me that I’m in denial because of this, but then my POCD tells me that I “found an underage girl cute”. Then my HOCD tells me “you actually thought a guy was cute” when I didn’t even know the persons gender or age… context I’m in a college campus… plus my HOCD is just consistently giving me intrusive thoughts about guys being cute…
Is ocd and adhd common to correlate with each other? Or do they share some of the same symptoms? I have been diagnosed with ocd but for the longest time I thought I had Adhd due to it running in my family and having symptoms from childhood to this day. I’m watching social media videos and I relate to it however I notice the people posting them have ocd and adhd
Just read a patients chart who has psychotic episodes leading her to think she has spirits in her body and hear voices and she tried to hang herself, she also had anxiety and panic and depression and now I’m so scared that this can happen to me. Maybe her anxiety or depression led to the psychosis . I’m so scared now
Anyone else here afraid demons are real and maybe you can make deals with them or negotiate with them. but im saying this because i keep on saying the wrong thing out loud. and something similar keeps happening. and this makes me scared cuz then when i say something to correct the fear, i say something wrong again.
I’m three weeks into my treatment and have started to work on my exposures. I’ve come to realize how many triggers I face in a day, especially since most of my compulsions are mental (ruminating). I had thought this was just because “life is hard” and not my OCD. My job requires an online presence and my OCD has recently flared up around controlling my image online and trying to be likable to everyone. It has become so debilitating I second guess everything I am required to do for my job and edit/check/critique or avoid tasks. I’m really proud of what I was able to do today! Had a hateful message come into my feed FULL of all sorts of triggering language and I sat with it, didn’t try to react or fix it. There were so many new feelings I had in response, and tried to stay curious about letting the wave come and go. Anyone else have to deal with exposures at work on a daily basis? Do you set aside time to actually do ERP if they come up during the day and are not scheduled?
I am in a really bad spot with my ROCD right now. I have been having terrible fears that I married the wrong person and that I don’t actually love him. One of my obsessions has been surrounding a guy friend of mine from a few years ago and wondering if I would’ve been better off married to him (we never dated, I was dating my husband then). But now I’m worried because If OCD attaches to what we love and value most, I’m concerned that I truly love that other guy - and even if I am having OCD, the fact that I’m obsessing over him/his wife and the idea I might’ve been better with him, doesn’t that mean something??? Anyone else experience this? I feel so beat down.