Community

I overcame HOCD and came out straight ask me some questions! ❤️💕

now im getting false arousal for no reason....🙄😔

The type of OCD I associate with the most is very confusing. I always feel a strong urge to check off mental checklist all throughout the day about EVERYTHING. What type of OCD is this?

Am I bi if I feel excited for someone to see my insta story and answer my message. I’ve been having obsessive thoughts about the person and I don’t know if it’s HOCD or an actual crush. Sometimes it feels like I have a crush sometimes it feels like I just want to be friends and talk to them.

currently crying a lot because what if i’m just lying to myself this really hurts i can’t even breath

Just felt so attacked after spending a long time in the bathroom due to my contamination ocd. I took a long time but I'd assumed the rest of the family had all been to the toilet and gone to bed. I was almost done when 3 others came and started ranting about wanting to use the toilet which in turn caused me lots of anxiety and led to further ruminating. I just thought that I'm so considerate about others as I barely eat and drink to avoiding going toilet so others dont have to wait, but when they want to go they lack any sort of compassion for me and the excruciating mental pain I'm in. I really felt like crying but dont feel comfortable doing so in front of my family so I had to suck it up and take it. Any advice on how to recover when you have zero support?

how real can ocd actually feel? like is it normal to feel this real..

I’m so scared that I’m gonna have to lose my partner. I don’t want anyone but him and all of my fears revolve around losing him. I don’t want to not be with him. Having OCD is just a constant battle. I’m doing better than I was but some things are still really really hard for me.

I’m really freaking out rn because I went to some doctor and told them that I think I have ocd but I’m really worried that they just think I’m in denial or that I’m just making it up because I said that I google things as a compulsion. I’m scared I didn’t talk about my OCD in detail enough because she asked some questions about hand washing and I don’t have contamination ocd. I also only mentioned my so ocd and not even my incest ocd so now I think she will think I’m in denial. I really thought I was going to get diagnosed or something and my parents wouldn’t make fun of me for saying that I might have ocd and dismissing it as “intrusive thoughts” which is the only thing I told them about. EVEN THOUGH MY MOM LITERALLY SAW ME CRYING IN MY ROOM.

Does anyone else struggle with thinking you’re attracted to someone or actually like like someone because you like them as a person?

any advice on how to resist self reassurance? it’s easier to refrain from seeking reassurance from others but it’s nearly always my immediate reaction to reassure myself x

i feel comfortable with the idea of being with a girl and it doesn't even scare me

i feel… moderately peaceful right now. but i can feel the anxiousness and i still get atrocious intrusive thoughts. with this mindset it’s a little easier to ignore the intrusive thoughts and realize that’s all they are, but i can feel another attack creeping up on me. it just feels inevitable. sometimes i get scared because my mind tells me ‘you’re attracted to little girls.’ even when i’m in this state of half assed calm. does that mean it’s true??? i definitely get uncomfortable but sometimes it doesn’t even phase me. i’m too tired. if only this could end.

Is anyone else’s anxiety just HORRIFIC today? It feels like all of my worries have just come clattering down against my head. I have this awful feeling in my chest. AH.

My job is where my ocd affects me the most and i'm stuck there for 8 hours. Any tips on how to deal with this?

Hey everyone - I participated in my very first NOCD Support Group and it was AMAZING!!! If you have been on the fence about trying one out - seriously - go for it! The therapist who lead the group had really helpful prompts to get the conversation started, and she made sure we all had a chance to speak if we wanted to. The group members (about 12 in total) were incredibly kind, insightful, and supportive. I signed up to meet with the group every week, and am already looking forward to our next session. Best of all, it's totally free! If anyone has questions about the groups - I'm happy to answer if I can. Just wanted to share my experience.

i just want to live normally again. i can’t take it anymore

oh god I’m seeing a psychiatrist friday and I’m so happy but so scared. What if he says I don’t have hocd? Since rn it truly feels like I don’t have it and I’m just denying my sexuality, I’m extra anxious for this appointment. What do u guys think?

can someone explain to me what rumination really is, i believe i do and i would like to understand it

I feel like I don't know what's real or not. What has happened or not. I can't remember if a thought even happened from last night or if I'm just saying it did. I'm so confused.

I am scared of being myself and being judged by other girls. I am 19 years old and struggle a lot with trusting that other girls want to be my friend. I have had a lot of trouble with this since I was 15, where I experienced cyber bullying by the “popular” girls. Now I have a fixation that every girl that is popular is mean and I am scared of these girls, but it seems like they are the ones I want to be friends with. How can I stop wanting to be friends with the popular ones (the ones that are loud and say the “right” things). This is also the reason I developed HOCD because I couldn’t understand why it was so hard to make friends with girls but so easy to talk to guys. How can I solve this? I am severely depressed in college and lonely and have no idea what to do.

why does my ocd make me believe stuff that’s not real

Having a baby in 8 weeks! Scared and excited at the same time. Currently in an OCD episode but it’s starting to get better because I am cracking down on resisting mental compulsions. Any advice on being a new mom and managing OCD? It’s my first baby.

I miss the feeling of safety

I want to book a free call with one of the NOCD therapists to start therapy and get a diagnosis but I’m scared. Every-time I go to book the call, I back out of it. What happens on the phone call?

Good morning friends ❤️ today I am committing to not ruminating. I am choosing to say “that’s a thought” or “that’s a feeling” when thoughts and feelings come. Ruminating and trying to figure things out has not worked so I am stopping NOW. I want my life back and nothing is going to stop me.

Yesterday during.my session, my counselor and I set up my hierarchy for ERP. I officially start ERP tomorrow. I am scared shirtless. I'm afraid of the exposures themselves, but I'm also afraid I won't be able to do them. I'm not looking for reassurance. Just encouragement and support.

i would like to understand why even if i'm in the best of relationship with a person i love from the bottom of my heart i have thoughts i don't want like thoughts like ROCD and especially HOCD thoughts i am more capable

I can't allow myself to do the recovery work because I believe my real events are as bad as I see them - horrible, unforgivable and deserving of law punishment, death or suffering. Please help me.

CAN someone help me with HOCD i feel exhausted i need advice please

hello everyone! have someone with ocd ever felt depersonalized so much that you don’t know who is/was your partner? like it seems like they are very different from whom you thought they were/are?

OCD feels so real and makes me feel like someone I’m not. I’ve struggled with relationship ocd, harm ocd, sexual ocd, suicidal ocd and sexuality ocd. Every subtype I have come up against has made me question who I am. Especially when it comes to harm ocd it makes me feel like a scary person who I do not want to be. I’m a caring and kind person but the ocd can really take over

The thing about OCD that really tricks me, is that I thought you need to have intrusive thoughts or compulsions ALL the time and that they would never go away, but now I am realizing that is NOT the case. I can two ish weeks without intrusive thoughts but I still have ocd. Reading about it sometimes online it makes it seems otherwise. Does anyone else relate?

Two months battling hocd which turned into tocd. This past week my thoughts went from “what if I’m a man” to “I am a man” (I’m a 24 year old female who’s never questioned her gender before this). Today I was on Reddit and someone posted in a tocd subreddit that “this is not ocd, this is just fear and confusion”. I am absolutely mortified- considering I don’t have a history of ocd, maybe I really am using ocd as an excuse for my thoughts. All I know is since these thoughts started, I’ve felt nothing but constant despair and agony. I stopped going to work- I feel crippled. Sometimes I even tell myself “ok I accept that I am transgender” then I start sobbing and crying nonstop because I know deep down this is not what I want. I’m hopeless. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

I just read about GAD and took some online tests, turns out Im just about touching the severe anxiety mark. Im worried that Im just gay and cant accept it which is why I have gad rather than Ocd. Ughhh, I also took a ocd test and marked No compulsions since I have no idea If I have any compulsions or not. Its mainly just thoughts/feelings which I dont even know are intrusive anymore or not. Im so tired of all this nonsense. Sorry for so many posts :/ I just need some closure

Is this OCD? I go around obsessing over how I look as far as how old I look. 95% of people say I look like a teenager and I try to embrace it and act that way. My dad says it is retarded, but I don't act retarded. I am in my 20s, but I am more in a place where a teenager should be in their life. That is largely because I never got the right help and that for some reason I was oppositional to everything my parents tried to teach me. I truly believe I have oppositional defiant disorder, but when I have asked a psychiatrist about it they didn't think that I had it.

Anytime I see a good looking guy whos gay, besides getting intrusive thoughts ( If thats even what they are I dont know) it feels like If this guy can be gay, so can I??? Its like I get a comfortable feeling that I could come out easily if someone else I knew was gay too ir rather Id feel alot safer in a way. Example: You know how if you want to go on a trip or something and your parents say no but you tell them your close friend has also gone to that place and since they trust this friend they change their mind and let you go. Its like that. It feels like all I need a little nudge or a small incident and Ill realize/accept that Im just gay. *I dont really care or afraid of coming out but I dont want to be gay(I think), I want to like girls, simplely romantically and sexually. I have no clue why this thought or feeling pops up but this just makes me think I probably am gay smh. I dont think any hocder will be able to relate to this.

Can anyone give me some ocd advice that’s helped them? I could really use it.

I also feel like I'm tiring people here. I am sure of this. It's like no place is your place. It's like, again, people will eventually get tired of you, and then you'll be alone again :(

feeling hopeless yet again, coming on here always makes me feel better. knowing people relate and care. ocd feels like its taking over my life again. im tired of living in a constant state of anxiety. trying to push through.

Stressing out because every time I say I love you to my boyfriend I don’t feel like i truly mean it. I just feel so out of tune and I want to be with him because I do love him I’m just very stressed out and scared that what if I don’t

i dont know what i feel. i dont feel good and thats all i know. im numb. the thoughts wont stop and its gross but i dont have anxiety. i hate myself.

Does anyone ever feel like they aren’t being compulsive enough? Sometimes if I notice the thoughts but I’m not doing compulsions it makes me feel like it’s real

Does anyone else think “oh I’m not having intrusive thoughts right now” and then that triggers the intrusive thoughts? It makes me scared that I’m trying to think about them and I hate it.

Can intrusive thoughts come in urges? Sometimes I feel like I have urges to think of past intrusive thoughts but it’s like I don’t actually want to :/

Hello so i think i did something bad at first I didn’t know what pocd was so I completely thought i was turning into a pedo but i tried to prove myself wrong by watching ‘adult content’ does that mean that im a pedo for doing that

I overcame my HOCD ask me any questions

i don’t like this feeling that i’m not into my boyfriend anymore i don’t want to NOT like him. idk if these are thoughts or not it feels like my intuition i just don’t know why i would lose feelings for him like he hasn’t done anything

Do people think I care about their opinion of my obsessions? I am really glad that you think it is fine and normal, I do not and I do not want to think about it. Your opinion does not matter to me, my opinion matters to me. Do you ever get this from people?

What do you guys or girls do when an intrusive thought appears? They feel so real at this point. Causing major anxiety. How do you guys or girls manage your feelings?

I dont even know whats real or not anymore

I hate, hate, hate it when I self-sabotage and look at things I know are going to make me feel upset/anxious. It's such a sneaky compulsion and very hard to control.

How do I stop ruminating about a past event and what parts are true or not? 😞😔

"Sometimes I feel the fear of Uncertainty stinging clear And I, can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear Take the wheel and steer It's driven me before and seems to have a vague Haunting mass appeal But lately I'm beginning to find that I Should be the one behind the wheel Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there With open arms and open eyes yeah Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there, I'll be there..." -Incubus, "Drive" OCD lies! Always!

Need help with focusing the mind: For my intrusive thoughts exposure I am needing to just constantly think about these images that upset me, but I can’t seem to focus my mind and I get so distracted by other thoughts and I can barely think about what I’m supposed to. Any tips on how to focus?

i keep checking and doing compulsions related to pocd so i am kind of relieved at least. i know i don’t find little girls attractive and that’s my obsession and intrusive thoughts speaking and trying to influence me. i’m not afraid of being near kids as i’m certain i wouldn’t do anything to harm them, but the back of my mind says ‘no, you just wanna be near kids, sicko.’ my minds been going from ‘oh god im a pedo’ to ‘oh god i’m not a pedo why do i have these thoughts’ can anyone relate? i do not want to be the only one going through this. i do not want to be a pedo.

Hi everyone! Does anyone else have a hard time being kind to their partner (or in my case, ex) because they’re scared they don’t “deserve“ it? My partner and I were together for almost 4 years and broke up a few months ago. It’s been really difficult but we’re in the process of trying to maintain a friendship. We were each other’s best friends for years and neither of us want to lose that. Anyway, I’ve mentioned this so many times by now but most of my ROCD is always partner-focused. Is he a bad person? What if he’s cheating? Is he lying? Etc, etc. He did mess up many times in our relationship but we worked through it all. But something that has always been really difficult for me, is showing kindness or doing something nice for him. It always brings me SO much anxiety, and I start wondering “what if I’m doing this nice thing for him, and he’s cheating on me?” Or doesn’t deserve my kindness in some way. It just happened again. He had a rough weekend, and so I sent him a kind message just to be supportive and let him know I was here if he needed to talk and even after we’re broken up, now I’m still having anxious thoughts like “what if I’m still being kind to him, and he lied about this or that while we were together?!” Or “what if I’m being kind to him and he was in the wrong in this situation and doesn’t deserve kindness” It’s really messing me up. I don’t believe that “bad people” exists. I believe people do bad things and everyone deserves compassion and love. I just can’t stop feeling anxious when I feel like I’m going above and beyond for someone, if it’s going to make me look/feel like a fool in the future. Hopefully that makes some sense! Thanks for reading 💕

So I'm in High school and I go up stairs to go to classes on top there is an elevator but It's scary cause it gets stuck a lot but as I went up I felt so out of breathe in the same spot that I can never breathe right! And I was like trying to get air but I had a mask on and right now I'm home cause the school closed early cause the air wasnt working and I still feel shortness of breathe from my throat! Left side I would say anxiety but I also have pain in like my chest! And my nose feels blocked with dry boogers and I'm scared that I have problems with my throat or that I will end up choking! Tips on how to catch air? Should I try breath in and out method?

when i was in the peak of my rocd i remember i was looking at my boyfriends baby pictures and i felt extremely anxious about if i should be looking at them since i had all these intrusive thoughts about if “we were meant to be” stuff and now i feel guilty about it, i know rocd is like about being uncertain and being okay with things being uncertain, but now that we’re broken up i feel like i shouldn’t have felt that panic or like “should i be the one he shared this with?” shouldn’t have been what i was thinking and i don’t know what that means and it makes me sad. Like does anyone get what i’m saying? Has anyone else felt that way when having rocd? kind of like doubtful that you should be included in sentimental moments bc of anxiety/rocd?

i’m feeling very very sad and tired and i want to give up i just need some inspirational words. i would very much appreciate some kind words if you guys don’t mind. i just need a reason to stay and fight alittle longer

if you think it’s ocd it probably is !

Hello guys. Lately I’m having thoughts that feel more violent than usual. Things like that I’m planning to hurt people or that when I hang out with them that I’m deciding if I want to or not. These are people I care about. Sometimes it feels like I’m asking for bad things to happen to people. It feels like I’m thinking these things on purpose and sometimes I think that I am and I don’t usually get the amount of anxiety I usually would. It scares me because it’s like these thoughts may be different. Any advice?

What is some OCD advice you heard that you thought wouldn't help when you first heard it, but it actually did help?

Does PoCD mean I am not a pedophile? Does HOCd mean I am not Gay? Please help me answer the questions as really struggling now. I am so confused by people comments on here and what my therapists have said to me meaning this means I am not??

I don’t know how many people on here need to hear this but here goes: 1. OCD is capable of anything: feelings, changes with the body, literally anything! It doesn’t have to mean the thought it true or false. Usually we attach meaning to the thought/feeling. Usually however it makes us react; typically the opposite is true (not always the case). Groinal responses, heart palpitations, dry mouth, “false”/over-exaggerated attraction are all common with my subtype. 2. Irrational beliefs are just that, irrational. Not for one minute would I suggest reassurance. But if you’re like me and you have a rigid thought process on your subtype. Sometimes researching the fact that things aren’t black and white, can help. For example, I suffer with SO-OCD (HOCD). I identify as a straight, male. However, I thought that certain sexual practices were only acceptable or interested in, by members of the LGBTQ community. A very naive and frankly small-minded approach to thinking. So just that knowledge can make us realise, things aren’t black and white as they seem. 3. Fear fuels OCD. Whatever you fear causes OCD to latch to it. Again, for me and I’m sure many of you (even my LGBTQ members will agree), the fear of being a “different” orientation was terrifying. So as I got older and saw how badly other orientations were treated, I feared it more. So anything which even remotely lead me to thinking differently about my orientation, made me get even more hyper aware, which the lead into where I am now! OCD can latch to any fear and fear is usually attached to something which makes us question our values etc. For me, lying to people just wasn’t an option. I have to be honest. 4. You can recover, but it’s a slow process! I work with a therapist through NOCD and it has helped me really dig out my route fear and practice working on that. Until you isolate what it is you fear exactly, you’ll never truly be able to face it and as a result, be on the road to recovery. Finally, just to say to all my LGBTQ members. I have nothing but admiration for you and since suffering with HOCD, I could not have more respect for you and how brave you are. I want you to all know, anyone who suffers with this subtype is not being homophobic when they say “I don’t want to be gay” or anything on that nature. It’s because it doesn’t align with what they thought they were prior to OCD. Also, for anyone who is homophobic - you’re absolute scum! All the best!

I love my bf so much and hes so perfect for me so why do i have ROCD???? Help

How do I know the difference between health anxiety and health focused ocd?

Really struggling with Sexuality OCD, whether it’s OCD or I’m gay and in denial. I’m in a relationship with a man and I don’t want to be gay but I’ve come up with a list of things that I have done throughout my life that I feel like are proof that I’m gay: - making sims/characters in games gay - watching lesbian porn - interested in men and women on tinder once - looked at girls onlyfans accounts - watching lesbians on youtube/tik tok - following lesbian on instagram when younger - feeling the urge to kiss girls when drunk a couple of times Thoughts?

Need some motivation today, no reassurance just motivation!

TW: OCD setbacks/relapses I’ve had OCD my whole life, but I wasn’t diagnosed until my 20s. Now I’m in my 30s and getting serious about ERP again. I’m in that stage of treatment where it feels like OCD is getting worse, and I’m finding myself seeing the past through rose-colored glasses. Wishing I could go back to a time when my OCD theme was something I’m not distressed by now, or to a time when my symptoms weren’t as severe so I wasn’t focused on the disorder. Worrying that my best days are behind me and that I’ll only get worse from here. I want to forgive myself because deep down I know OCD isn’t my fault. Tips on coping with feelings of defeat during relapse?

Does anyone get this thing where they don't know what the voice of reason is anymore? Like which voice is telling the truth

I know we're supposed to be living with uncertainty but that makes me feel like I'm running away from myself and blaming it on ocd. Like am I supposed to be uncertain my whole life? And not live out the life I could potentially live if my thoughts were true??? I just don't get it

Is feeling the need to date or sleep with women a sign hocd. I've said to myself I'm gay but even that doesn't seem right.

If all goes well ( my anxiety is telling me not to get too excited because something bad will happen) I see my long distance boyfriend tomorrow after 10 very long months apart. Needless to say I am TERRIFIED but also there’s nothing in this world I want more. I’ve missed him so much and I’m so ready to just be in his presence again. I’m scared about my soocd and rocd thoughts like what if I don’t love him what if I realize I’m gay etc but I’m going to try my hardest to not let them interfere with our reunion. I love my boy, that’s all that matters. I’ve been holding in so much and going through so much fear since he left and I’m finally going to have that little piece of my heart back. I haven’t been around anyone romantically in almost a year and the thought seems so daunting/terrifying but I remember when he was here being close to him felt so natural ( I think, my thoughts are fuzzy now ) that I hope it’s like that again. I just want tomorrow to go well, please wish me luck!!

It was just a year ago, I was in school, 15 years old. I was called the class clown. There was no anxiety or depression in life. I flirted with every girl. I was the happiest person out there. And now, its better not to talk about it. Hocd has taken over me. Idk if I'm straight or am I in denial. I miss my old self. And someone please reply I'm having a tough time. Please understand 🥺

can someone please explain why giving/getting reassurance is a bad thing like.. it helps doenst it? /gen /not sarcastic/not mad

Should I stop doing this?...I avoid tv shows with crime ...It gives me anxiety..And also leads me to ruminate and worry...I suffer from harm ocd and real event ocd mainly...Is this a compulsion ?

Can anyone help me out? I hear people say “actions define you, not thoughts” and it gives me anxiety. The compulsions I’ve done that I regret were actions, do those define me? The mistakes I made when I was younger were actions, do those also define me?

I'm at a point where I don't know who I am I just feel empty and exhausted I really don't know who I am I feel like I'm trapped in my body I don't feel myself at all. I sometimes don't even recognize myself in the mirror. I'm just empty ..

Hey guys I know ocd brains don’t respond to logic but if you have a sexual obsession I heard that your body reacts to what is sexually relevant rather what is desired.

Can u believe your thoughts like can u believe them and live them . U feel like there's no tomorrow and you're just stuck in the moment but not living it smh . Am not sure if my thoughts are just thoughts or it's actually my reality . Idk how to explain it ?? :/

I feel like I have accepted the thought because it feels so deep and it feels like the thought isn’t intrusive. I used the evidence I don’t get attraction but now it feels like it has fully transitioned my feelings.

I just feel like I’m in denial at this point like I can’t even argue with my thoughts anymore and I don’t feel anxiety and I feel like our relationship will never go back to normal

What did I ever do to deserve this?! I hate my life and I’m just done. I want to give up. I want the pain to go away 😭

Why do I feel like my thoughts are true and I accepted them as true bc now I figured that I liked them this whole time I was worrying? But I don’t necessarily feel feel like i like it, if that makes sense. Now I’m feeling like those p’s who felt bad bc they liked their thoughts? But I can’t tell if I genuinely do 😭 it just feels like I accepted that I could and no’s I’m not feeling bad abt this whole thing like I feel kinda numb to this all 💀 bc I still avoid kids and all that stuff bc I feel like if I looked then I would be attracted to them or something, I feel so bad 😭

OCD is the MONSTER; WE, ARE NOT 💯 Sending love, compassion and support to all those suffering/battling the BEAST, that is OCD 💌

I'm upset. I'm queer and am with a wonderful guy(who's trans) who I love, but OCD attacks both of our sexuality. This morning I had a dream that he was gay(which he's not) I sat with the anxiety and it was okay then it flipped to me. What if I'm not queer and I don't like women enough? What if I'm actually straight? My sexuality has never really mattered to me because I am with him and he's the only one I want to be with. This just sucks. I feel so sick from these thoughts.

So my boyfriend and I moved 7 hours away which is when my rocd kicked in. And it makes me feel like I always want to run home and when we go back to visit I won’t want to come back blah blah blah. And I know this is all fear and I know the need to run home is to escape anxiety and go back to a place where I didn’t feel anxious and had “certainty” but I don’t know exactly what to do with this feeling

Anxiety makes me feel like I’ve always been missing something since I always question everything I want to be important which just further fuels my themes

What does POCD mean for anyone else? Like what are the thoughts that you guys who struggle with POCD have. I have it and I’m trying to relate to other people who have it too

i’m so scared i don’t have pocd and i’m just a pedo. i tried using photos of little girls on google for erp and my mind would go ‘maybe you ARE attracted!’ and then my anxiety would get the better of me and i’d have to stop. but my mind keeps telling me ‘you want to keep looking at the photos!’ but i don’t. or maybe i do? i can’t tell anymore and it’s driving me insane!!!!!! i’ll go for a walk and i’ll go through the park to see if there are kids to gauge a reaction and my mind keeps telling me ‘you’re just using erp as an excuse to try to see little girls!’ but that’s not me… why!??? i never had these thoughts 2 weeks ago…

I want to be a really nice and understanding person and I get thoughts that and feelings that I'm annoyed with people and that I don't understand them. I feel like I get annoyed easily because I'm stressed but I feel terrible especially going on this app it makes me feel bad for not being more empathetic

I'm unable to develop crushes on girls after hocd😭. I'm having a complete breakdown. I'm just repeating "I'm not gay "! All day but Idk what i am now😭. I'm depressed, I'm sleeping on my bed and crying. I wanna be normal like I was before🥺. Can someone please help me out? I'm feeling helpless. Can someone please comfort me😭. I have no one to talk to about hocd. Please help?🥺😭😭

How can you tell if you are gay or not when you feel like there is proof in the past to show it! Can't stop ruminating :(

Does anyone remember having thoughts before you knew you had ocd and you felt like you just dismissed them or knew they weren't true but now feel like they were?

My mom told once when I was little "when u think abt things too much they might come true" that has effected me so negatively to this day, she only said it so I'd stop thinking abt bad/scary things. But it made it so much worse..

Why am I not feeling anything towards the opposite sex? Absolutely nothing. Even sexual attraction is nearly gone. I dont feel normal. Ive convinced myself too much, now when I check out women, I get thoughts/feelings that Im gay and I will never get her or get a gf. This makes me feel less manly which takes a bigger toll on my self esteem Or when I look at a woman and imagine myself with her, I get a flashing image of me leaving her bc I like men more. This makes me sick and not good. Like I said Ive ruminated too much and believed my thoughts and proof that It gave me and now Im in this messy situation. Idk what to do. I want to feel real and normal again. Why does It also feel like time is passing by in the blink of an eye and Im not able to experience any of it fully. I hate it, theres no way Im actually gay right? Wth Im worried that I am though. Im stuck on this phrase" Im just gay" : ((((( Please give me some advice. Is this still ocd?

I keep having POCD intrusive thoughts from a real event when I was 13 or 14... I’m 20 now and I get horrible POCD intrusive thoughts... I don’t ever wanna be what my thoughts tell me...

I feel like my OCD is at this phase of being calmer again. The phase where it's not too bad yet isn't gone. I'm even doing better with fighting this ritual where when my mom coughs, I cannot be near her for a while. It used to be where I would go to my room or somewhere else for like 20 minutes, it's now down to at least 5, which is wonderful. Besides all of that, my anxiety is sky high though, mainly due to school.

I got a thought that, if being gay was the new normal, would I be striaght? And I had no answer😭😭😭. I'm worried about that. I got this thought few weeks ago but I'm still feeling over it. Is it hocd😭😭😭😭😭. Please reply