When you guys say to not push away an intrusive thought, what do you mean?! Like just think about it?
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something that should be super triggering just happened and i can't even freak out about it??? nor ruminate? is this even OCD at this point?
there is a guy who i’m attracted to as of lately and it’s been really difficult. there’s a voice in my head contradicting every thought or feeling.
i really, honestly don't think this is ocd. i barely think about it anymore and when i do it feels so real but it causes me no anxiety. i am just able to simply stop myself from thinking about it and i ignore the thoughts and dismiss the urge for compulsions. like why? am i accepting i am bi/les? do i really like girls now? why doesn't it worry me? it feels like i don't care anymore. i don't even experince the backdoor spike. it feels like i am just too sleepy and tired and have 0 energy to think about it.
I love my OCD, and I love my compulsions. I just don’t want them to be obligatory.
Considering going to therapy again. But wrestling with the feeling that they will just tell me what they already know. I’m 37 and have been dealing with mild Pure O for 20 years. I know I’ve made progress but have really wondered if there’s a better do ERP exercises. Anyone else relate? It’s possible that I’m obsessing over whether I’m doing the “perfect” exercises , but this particular religious theme has been challenging me on and off since March. Thoughts?
Is it normal to not feel as attracted to the opposite sex as before? Im ngl really sad
i noticed my ocd thoughts are significantly lowering when im at school. is this normal?
Had anyone had the same phrase repeat in there head for days at a time? Mine is “I’m gay” and it’s just that and super robotic. Have other OCD symptoms as well but feel like this one is what started my spiral just a ear worm if “I’m gay”
does anyone struggle with the guilt that comes with having soocd and being an lgbt+ ally?
Tw Having urges is the worst, Its like my brain wants me to act on my thoughts right away to quench the thirst. It wont stop.
I am struggling to accept my past and my Mistakes I really struggle bad with my past it keeps me in this vicious cycle
I remember when I was younger and I was happy with me before the HOCD started I want to be happy I want to feel free again and happy on the inside. I am so full of fear shame and regrets from my past, I am now fearful of women I am fearful of judgment for my mistakes and constantly am beating myself down. I want to change I want to be happy I don’t know even where to start.
Sexual orientation ocd is high today, but it has been for the past two years so why not act on my values anyway?! 🤷♀️ Moving forward with working on buying a house with my partner even though it's a huge trigger. HUGE. Lol What will you do today to act on values, rather than fear? Please tell me I'm not alone 💔💖
Does anyone else experience derealisation? How do you cope when it happens? When it happens to me I start to panic I’m loosing it? How can I heal from this?
So I was in the classroom and there was this girl who was sitting next to me and she was helping me with exercises and my Brian was like what if your attracted to her My brain was like you would like it when I wouldn’t 😭 Some days I’am so sure that I’am bisexual while I’am straight it’s hard please respond I guess it’s my fear controlling me😭
Why do these thought feel so real every day the early point when I had this it was on and off now it’s hard to shake the thoughts. People around me just say forget about the thoughts and it will get better.don’t think it’s that easy or I wouldn’t be in this mess
Hey there everyone- I’m new here but Ive got a question- I started experiencing SOOCD or HOCD exactly around last year, it hit me really hard and mainly came after my closest friend told me she had a boyfriend. Now I’ve always had this deep fear of being gay majority of my life mainly cause I found women more “pretty” even though pre-HOCD I was always attracted to men. Now all my friends are getting engaged, married and I feel such extreme panic cause not only do I feel like I don’t know who I am, but my HOCD convinces me I’m stressed cause I don’t want that type of path right now, even though I’ve always dreamed about marrying a man, now it’s always me battling thoughts that Ive been lying to myself, that it’s been “comphet”, which before I ever looked up comphet I didn’t even know it was a thing it only gave me 1000 other things to doubt and worry about. Anyways I feel so unlike myself. Me the person who was always able to obsess over boys and get excited just feels empty now.
Everytime I even phantom the idea of accepting that I might be bi or pan….my heart beat rises up and I get so anxious….
Why did I start feeling more confident in myself but now it feels more real than before. Idk what happened 😞 maybe because I was triggered? I just wish this would stop. I was starting to have hope.
I want to share some hope with all of you experiencing ROCD. I have been through absolute HELL this year with ROCD. Honestly, it was been the most difficult year of my life. But after many months of hard work, ERP, trying to reprogram my ways of thinking, failing, trying again, taking two steps forward and one step back, starting medication, I am happy to say that I am feeling like my usual self and feeling so lucky to have my partner. There have been times when I was repulsed by him and that has been extremely hard on our relationship, but he has stuck by me and I am just so grateful for him and for myself for choosing not to trust the intrusive thoughts that plagued me for so long. I don't feel absolutely infatuated with him, but I have realised that feeling infatuated is not a good indication of love or of being a good fit. My partner is amazing and supportive and loving, and having those things helps so much to build love. It's hard to let go of wanting that feeling, I completely understand, but please know that even though you may not be feeling how you want to right now, that it is possible for that to change and that you can have a happy relationship. ROCD doesn't have to define you and you can do this. I did it and so can you XXX ❤️
*SA I study psychology, and I think knowing things makes me feel more in control…so I have a question. Could you react with this if you struggle with SOOCD and were sexually abused (in any way) as a child? I know that correlation is not causation, but I think this is something that would make a lot of sense.
Does anyone ever get scared that you have a crush on your friends? Like I made a new friend recently, and I’m terrified that I find her cute or something. I mean, she is pretty, but I don’t like women like that! We share a lot of interests, especially with anime (which is my favorite thing atm) and I don’t get to talk to many people about it. So I think about her sometimes, since we’re friends. And my brains like “you like her” “you want to date her” like no!!!! I have a boyfriend I love, and I don’t like her like that. But now I’m hesitant to talk to her since my brain is doing this to me. What should I do???
How do you deal with “flooding” during intimacy with your wife or partner. This disorder is absolutely horrible it’s hard to even relax in my own home.
How can I be uncertain when all I have is certainty that Im bi or gay. Its a feeling that Im those things. I also feel like I dont have a identity right now, Im blank inside my mind. Should I just try and accept It? Feels like I could If I really tried. I just feel so sad and depressed. I had such intense anxiety all day yesterday at work too.
Any advice on college? How do you guys handle OCD and college at the same time especially with the pandemic affecting us too. Plus i know the workload will he a lot during college
i’m feeling very sick and my lips are dry and so is my mouth. i’ve lost 10 pounds from this and i can’t get up out of bed i have to motivation and i have lost myself
I’m so confused. When I was first struggling I knew that my obession really wasn’t true and I was just scared of the possibility that it was or that it could become true, but now I feel like I don’t know, like I feel like my mind is convincing me it’s true
I’ve started worrying that I’m in denial about my relationship just like how I was with my ex. All of the feelings are completely different though. Like my heart sinks when I think about it being true. I think mostly because none of this would be happening if it weren’t for my thoughts. And then I’d break if I lost him when I didn’t actually want to
I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live with these thoughts. I feel like they’ll never go away. I don’t even know anymore if they’re my real thoughts or not. It really feels like it’s true. Maybe I’m just becoming closer to the truth everyday because it feels like it and I don’t even feel anxiety I feel nothing. Ocd has won, I feel like it has completely convinced me and I don’t know what to do because I genuinely can’t live like this. I feel like I’m just cursed what if I really am this way and I’ll have to be miserable forever
My bf of many years is finally starting to move in w me into my apartment which I’ve always wanted. Bur now that it’s here I’m very anxious and nervous about the change IDK why? I have gotten comfortable having my own space and now I’m nervous of change....
Anyone bought a house with their partner in the midst of sexual orientation ocd? Could use some advice on navigating big things like that with ocd, if anyone has firsthand experience thanks
I have been drinking safflower tea and i heard it helps with fear and anxiety im just wondering if that’s why im not feeling guilty or scared please answer
Hi already six years i am suffering from social media addiction especially facebook wastes my time. I do not have any ocd symptoms in real life so I think that social media just makes people sick. I have deleted my fb and I hope I will get better. Becuase constanct checking makes me crazy, my symptoms are like: sometimes i felt that people are posting about me are imitating me and etc. So please if anyone tells that you have OCD related to social media please explain That social media is sick itself. Thanks. P.S. anyway should take comments and advice from you for my further research.
Do you ever reach a point where you just have no idea what to think? I’m just so tired of thinking, and my brain feels so heavy and full. Not trying to seek reassurance. Just tired of thinking.
Rant: I’m so scared I might have bpd. I have so much evidence that this would be a correct diagnosis for me. I’m so scared of my therapist misdiagnosing me with ocd instead of bpd and having to deal with my inevitable diagnosis of bpd later on in life. This is not a diss to anyone that is diagnosed with bpd. I hold no judgement whatsoever and wish only love and peace for everyone on this website <3
how come i still feel certain stuff and get certain thoughts but don't feel any anxiety? like why am i not anxious? it's like i don't care about it anymore. and no it's not the backdoor spike because i don't feel so anxious about not feeling anxious. it just really feels like denial. where's my anxiety towards the thoughts? why don't i spiral bad anymore? is this not ocd? i feel like i want to be with girls and do stuff to girls but i feel no anxiety :( is this denial?? because i just ignore those feelings like i ignore the thoughts. isn't this denial?? there's no way this is ocd. it's been going on for too long this way
I feel genuinely attracted to masc girls and lesbians on tik tok omg
Hi can someone whose part of the lgbtq community talk??
I can't find a girl pretty without thinking if I'm les or bi... It's annoying like I just wanna say they're pretty without questioning myself. With guys I wanna say they're attractive with feeling attraction so I can know I'm straight. I don't know why I'm questioning myself. Hate myself
One of the people I used to seek reassurance from about my sexuality just came out as bi. I wanna be happy for this person because that is amazing. But my OCD is really triggered by it and I’m scared that because me and this person has some of the same experiences that means that I’m bi. But maybe I am…maybe I’m not…I just have to continue accepting uncertainty.
Just a bit of a vent, I hate the days where I feel calm almost as if has gone away and then something with just go off in me and all that anxiety and desperation will come flooding back. The worst part is because it was so calm, when it does come back it feels so real and I feel lost again.
I can't tell if I'm denying or actually can't tell what my sexuality or gender is I wanna cry.. do I wanna stay straight because of my family or do I actually wanna be straight? Omg I have a friend who doesn't care what pronouns people use on her but she said it doesn't mean she's non binary she just doesn't care what people call her and I wish that was me I don't know omg am I denying or do I not wanna be part of the lgbtq I don't know anymore I don't know what's going on anymore... I don't blame it on social media but social media did get me to question my gender and sexuality...
I'm not looking for reassurance I just want to ask a question. I've been feeling numb and a lack of energy but I dont think it's the thoughts. Could ocd snowball into a sort of depression?
I just remembered something and it triggered me. I don’t remember how old I was but I use to look up these videos on YouTube of like “sexy pranks”. It would always be some kind of “prank” of something inappropriate happening to get a mans reaction. I don’t remember what I was thinking or feeling but I remember I would always clear my history after watching something like that. This is making me feel like I’m gay or bi and not realizing it until now. Like why did I watch those…
Does anyone have any inspiring ROCD stories? I always see people struggling with the same ROCD symptoms that I suffer with but I want to hear any positive recovery stories of people overcoming ROCD and did your relationship thrive afterwards?
My mind sometimes panics during the evening, and this relaxing meditation has helped me fall asleep. For anyone having a hard time drifting off, I would recommend giving this a try. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nMDHjVVj3bA
Are we allowed to exchange social media with people on this app? It’s okay if not…I just figured having friends with OCD could be good for us. Moderators lmk. Or just anyone who’s very familiar with all the guidelines
Do the thoughts ever fully go away? If this is a reassurence thing then let me know, but even if I feel better the thoughts are still there in the background anyway, meaning they can come to the surface faster too....
Okay really big question. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for over 2 years now. But gradually the stress of the rocd is starting to get to the relationship. It's getting to the point where the relationship just really isn't fun anymore. Every time I see her it's nothing but stress and trying to mitigate this stress. It's really hard for me to actually enjoy relationships like everyone else can. At this point, I don't think our relationship will last but I don't want to leave. It's gotten to the point where talking on the phone is too much stress for me. And sex? Forget it. I hardly ever want to do it for all of the reasons you'd expect. The only problem is, she's just so damn perfect. She and I just understand each other more than I've ever understood a woman in my entire life. More than I've ever been understood. I mean, I used to not give a whole shit about animals, but now every time I see an animal I just think of her and it makes me smile uncontrollably. Or I guess it used to. I just want to try and save this relationship. Can i? And if so, how can I save this?
Does fearing thinking something, in turn make you think you think that even tho you don't think that? Sorry if this sounds confusing😅
Please answer!! Any other girls with HOCD here and terrified to hangout with boys alone? I have always been scared to hangout with guys alone & my HOCD is using this as proof I’m just gay and in denial? Someone plz relate I feel like I’m spiraling
Big breakthrough for me; instead of sitting her and feeling hellish and ruminating and so forth. I did research into love, attraction, sexuality, and the OCD brain. I’ve come to the conclusion, that my brain was stuck it couldn’t comprehend how I find girls more aesthetically pleasing a lot of the times but I’ve only been romantically attracted to men! Wow now why was that so hard for my brain to comprehend and why did I have to feel and go through all of this pain, checking, triggers, ruminating and anxiety? Well because I do have a broken brain (for lack of a better word), my brain wants to think in black and white only and guess what?? I’m not as black and white as it wants me to be. I hope this gives everyone hope, I have done a lot of ERP and research prior to my first appointment on Friday with a therapist for the first time in 27 years. For my ROCD, guess what I’ve come to the conclusion of?? I’m not with my husband for his looks. I’m with him for his heart, his soul, the way he walks into a room and controls it, the way he works his ass off to give me everything I need. So who cares if there is a guy or girl out there better looking then him! You can nit pick his flaws all you want ROCD, but idc because before you came into my head. His looks was my last concern!!! I hope this brings hope to some of you.
Anyone with rocd worry that their boyfriend might become a brother or like a friend to them?
I’m really triggered. I just had a memory of something I had done a few years ago, and it’s making me question everything. A couple of years ago, there was this app that everybody was using called Yubo. It’s like a live-streaming app, where you call with your friends and you can add random people to the call when they request. It was kinda weird, and the craze died out after a few months. This app also had this ‘tinder’ style section, where people could swipe you depending on whether they found you attractive… I only used the app to do the live streams with my friends, but eventually I noticed that I had a lot of notifications, and people had been swiping and messaging me. I went through the messages just out of curiosity, and I noticed that a girl had swiped me. Being that I’ve never been into girls in that way, I just carried on through the messages ignoring that one - not thinking much of it. And then for some reason I thought to myself, ‘maybe I should try speaking to her and see how it makes me feel’. I did, and it was just… not my thing. I just didn’t feel anything, at least not in the same way I would with a boy. I removed her, and just carried on with my life as though nothing happened. As you can probably gather, I didn’t have HOCD at this time, and it didn’t bother me. But now I’m looking back and thinking, ‘someone who was straight would never have even thought to talk to the girl’, and then all of the tik toks I’ve watched where people talk about ‘closeted’ straights always ‘thinking they’re straight’ comes to mind. It all just feels confusing. I hate it. I’m not physically, emotionally, or sexually attracted to women and I never have been, but for some reason I just CAN’T stop doubting, and I feel like I can’t trust my own judgement because, ‘what if I’m lying to myself?’… The sexual fluidity movement makes me feel so confused. Using the logic from that movement (which I think is amazing for the people who feel represented by it) I mustn’t be straight, because any deviation from wholly straight behaviour PROVES that I’m not straight. But I think and feel as though I’m straight… in other words, I talk and walk like the duck, but I don’t know whether I’m a duck. Weird analogy… Anyway, has anyone been feeling like this recently?
Even when I tell myself I'm gay it doesn't seem right. But it feels like I am. Is this ocd or am I in denial. I don't want to be with a man I really don't. But my mind tells me otherwise. I just feel like I would never be able to accept it and be happy with it 😔😪
My SO-OCD has now attached onto both my partner and I. Whenever I'm not bombarded with the thought, "what if I'm gay?" it just automatically jumps to my boyfriend and says, "what if he's gay?" This sucks a lot. I'm not sure what to be doing anymore. My OCD has put another block between me and him and I feel so defeated.
I don't think I've ever been THIS tense in my life. I feel like everything around me is collapsing. I'm grateful for my partner, but other than our relationship, everything is falling apart and I'm trying to have control over everything but at the same time disassociate by distracting myself because I feel I don't have any other options because it's so overwhelming. I'm NOT and angry person but I am just finding myself so ANGRY at everything and everyone because it's all too much and I hate how I can't just get shit done without over thinking every goddamn potential outcome.
i just saw kristen Stewart's new pics and i feel a bit attracted to her but then i chekced and i felt nothing. nonetheless i feel like i am gay.
I want to share some advice, having dealt with SOOCD for years now. Maybe it will help others to identify some of their compulsions and reduce, maybe not but I think it's good sometimes to have perspective from people who've been through the ringer for a long time. -a desire for certainty is at the root of nearly every thought, urge, sensation, and compulsion you will experience with soocd, because at the root of that is a very normal human need for control -anytime you want to know the answer to questions like "does X mean Y about me?" Or "does anyone else _____?" Or "if I did/do ___ does it mean ___ about me?" Or "so and so said or does ____, and we have one thing in common, does that mean I am/will do it too?".... my friends these are all desperate compulsions to get certainty. They are answer seeking compulsions and will fuel your ocd to the point that you no longer experience present life, but instead spend 24/7 in your head like I have done so many times. -no one, NO ONE, can decide, understand, or know answers about your personal identity. You must accept the uncertainty and discomfort of not knowing for sure, and in the face of that fear, choose to act on values, which a therapist can help you work on in sessions (yes, I know, it's difficult to know values when ocd twists our minds around, this is why it's good to have a therapist) -anytime you find yourself trying to remember a thought or memory, and you can't stop attempting to remember it, that is a mental compulsion, and remembering that thing won't give you relief -ocd doesn't just disappear, even after treatment. There is no magic cure, and it does take dedication and work. It freaking sucks that we have to deal with that in this illness, but we do. If you go through treatment and improve, then start avoiding triggers again or stop paying attention to your ocd cycle, it can possibly get worse, so you have to stay on top of things. Our brains just need a little extra help and that's what erp is for but it takes time. -sadly, don't expect people to understand you outside of therapy, ocd forums and support groups. Maybe my perspective is cynical, but I believe that we have the right to be selective about who we tell the content of our ocd to because it shouldn't be our job to educate every single one of our friends about how ocd works to avoid their potential judgment. Not everyone will understand or need to know. -keep record of your good days in a journal and make note of your behaviors around those times. What were you eating, drinking , doing for exercise, how were you sleeping, were you meditating, did you have a routine, were you doing erp?, what were your triggers and how were you facing them? Understand your behaviors to see how they helped you face your ocd better than you did on the bad days. <3 you're not alone. I hope my advice can help in at least some small way. I know how easy it is to get hopeless. I've been feeling hopeless with my ocd for most of this summer. But we will get through this. <3
Does hocd mean we are not Gay and also does PoCD mean we are not pedophiles. My therapist says OCD means this is not true but why does it feel so real? But I feel people on here are explaining that HOCd people can realise they are Gay? Am I misunderstanding.
I’m dreaming about my ocd now, and dreaming about my compulsions and I’m my dream I woke up panicking about because I didn’t do one compulsion and it was like I believed my fears in my dream aswell - I’m feeling so confused and scared by this
Hey, does anyone feel confident long-term? I know that I am extremely insecure even after working on things. And I wonder if anyone with OCD feels confident on a regular basis.
I hate unplanned exposures! Scrolling through tiktok or insta can be SO triggering 😳
Despite going to coed school, I didnt have many female friends or rather any close female friend ever. All my crushes were from far away. So I never got to experience any romantic experience stuff with girls( I dont really remember much tbh) . I was always around boys and men. Another thing is that I could never figure out how to talk to women, I was always curious as to what guys say to them. Because with guys you talk about girls, so what do you say to a girl? Lol This has been my primary obsession (romantic attraction) since the start of ocd( if thats what this is). Reason why I convinced myself 100% that Im gay. Its caused me so much pain. Just wanted to get this off my chest.
No one: Literally no one: My OCD today: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=slRqsBA3i3I
Remember everyone whatever OCD tells you is a lie! It's a medical condition and should be treated as just that a condition! It has nothing to do with who YOU are! Don't believe a word it tells you!
its so weird, i will go sometime without the thoughts bothering me or really thinking about my obsessions but then all of a sudden they will come back and start to annoy me. then i get scared that i’m making these thoughts up and that my thoughts are real. it makes me upset but that’s what ocd does to ya
I’m really starting to worry that being gay or bi is more realistic than being straight, and that I would enjoy it. I’m so worried. I would hate nothing more than not being straight 😔
Hi there I would like to give a message of encouragement and hope to people who suffer from "hocd". It can be cured, it can be cured, and you can forget about all those obsessions that it produces and discomfort in the body. I personally heal myself with the help of God and meditation. but I want you to know that you will never stop being you, and your romantic / sexual tastes will not change due to an irrational obsession, also caused by events that trigger it. God protects you all, and loves you very much 💜💜💜
Has anyone else made you feel like you shouldn’t be questioning things and that you should just “know” :(
My friend who has Contamination OCD just doesn't know how to cope. She cries, has had breakdowns, and has screamed out loud to herself to fight the paranoid OCD Fear. For example, if a thought comes in mind that says "There is mud on that", she will scream to herself "There's no mud on that" and after that will break down crying sometimes. ( She doesn't have paranoia about mud that's just to convey what she does) She's getting so frustrated and angry about her mental struggles with OCD. She feels more angry now, more bitter and like she just wants to give up so she can just be at peace and not suffer anymore. She just wants to be done with her OCD once and for all.
hi. um. i have trauma from dating women and im just not interested in relationships (aromantic), but im not sexually attracted to women either... but i think girls can look hot, pretty, cute, sexy, etc. what if im actually attracted to women??? i like men only, but sometimes women look really pretty or hot... im worried :/
Dear brothers and sisters, ocd is not your friend, therefore do not treat it as such, it is not to be nurtured or to be given the benefit of the doubt by fearing what it says. Ocd is also not even the enemy, it has no power over you nor should you treat it as such. Ocd is barely just a loud stranger who is to be ignored, and when the tike is right confronted and told to go away. The way we stand up to ocd is through erp and facing our fears. The more you run from your fears the more they will chase you, the moment you turn and face your fears, you take them by surprise and take all power away from them, if they can't chase you then what power do they have? Intrusive thoughts are as human as breathing and you don't control either one of them. But when you try to control either one you realize they're best left alone. This is where trust comes in. Trust in your body, it does things we sometimes don't understand but that's ok let it be, trust therapy because it's there to help guide us when we need help, and trust your Heavenly Father who created you with all His love and has never abandoned you nor will He ever do so. The same God that created the universe created you and thought that this world was not complete without you in it. Allow Him to love you as you are, trust Him. God bless you
does anyone else with ROCD get the thought that you really do want to break up with your partner but the only thing stopping you is that you don’t want to hurt them? i don’t want this to be true. i just want to go back to when i had no doubts and no bad thoughts about him :(
I hope I’m not offending anyone by saying this and if I am please let me know so I can apologize. I just want to know why everything is surrounded around gender identity now a days . I understand spreading awareness but it’s literally all I ever see now and it triggers me so damn bad . It’s almost like ocd knows I’m trying to get my mind off it . I feel like my view of my gender has changed for ever and I will never be the same …
Guys do you think i could use ERP behaviours to cut down on social media checking? Like constantly checking peoples pages for no good reason (especially those I claim to dislike) multiple times a day? Like I’ll have the urge and the feelings to check. And that’s out of my control. But the checking is in my control. Should I treat that like a compulsion? Even tho idk if it’s ocd related ?
I kinda feel like I'm not really attracted to a person unless I've hung out with them, and kinda know their personality.. My brains telling me that just means I'm gay, but is their a name for that?? Or, is it normal?
Ovulation/Perimenopause Hiya, we often hear how our periods affect our ocd, but is anyone going through perimenopause and also having horrendous OCD at ovulation time? Feels 100 x stronger. How do you cope with it, anything that's helped? Normal strategies and response prevention doesn't seem to work at this time.
I think I might going through a romantic orientation crisis because I don’t really know who I do or don’t get it to and I’ve thought I only saw women to be in a relationship with but idk anymore. I have this feeling and thought about me mb getting to a man later down the road but what I’m trying to do is just use uncertainty and use the phrases mb I will mb I won’t, but I guess we will see. It’s pretty nerve wracking icl.