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Pls help me..I could use some advice… I self harmed yesterday even after telling myself not to but the mental pain was so much i had to feel some kind of physical pain to distract myself. I have soocd or so i think and i watched a movie yesterday about lavender marriage I didn't want to cause i knew it would be triggering for me but my friend wanted to so i went with him to watch it and i was right it was extremely triggering for me the parents in the end except their children which made me think what if this is the reason i am pretending to have ocd if my parents act like this will i?!? I don't understand the thoughts the entire Igbta+ community in the movie made me think is this what i am scared of they came out to their parents and i was like do i have to too?!? And then i was like why am i having these thoughts i know this is ocd or is it?!? I came home i was much calmer but I couldn't stop thinking today morning while doing online shopping i saw a model and i just started staring and i was like i am not staring at the clothes but the model was i?!? If i was then what?! Even in the movie the lesbian girl had a girlfriend who got married to a guy and had kids what does that say then?!? And also they showed scenes where their hands touched and stuff what if that happens to me and if its a considered possibility then all could be possible and why would i think so?!? I thought of writing it down yesterday only and posting it but then I didn't was it because i was not panicking and i was not actually if it is ocd I should have instantly written and posted it right?!? But I didn't i came home and I didn't write it so i feel like all this is fake and just denial and it feels so strong and true in the end of the movie i was crying cause i felt like i was lying and didn't know who i was and questioning my entire life and existence how is all of this still ocd?!? Was i relating to the movie was i okay with all this am i faking all this panic shit and i am only scared and i know how ocd works so i just post instantly but yesterday I didn't so does that means its not ocd?!? And even while writing all this i am faking it writing the word faking while knowing all this ocd is a cover up cause this feels too much of a possibility and real what do i do ?!? Pls help me.. is this even ocd anymore will i be okay with the answers to my questions ever?!? Is coming out something my therapist will tell me and would i be okay with it if my therapist says this is not ocd and tells me to come to some kind of terms why am i not shaking while writing all this cause i should be scared but am i... should i get therapy is this even ocd?!?

I’ve noticed my anxiety gets worse at night and in the morning when I wake up. Right now I’m all over the place

Feeling ßuicidal but not having the option to do it is suffocating and cruel to live with every day.

I’m in such a weird place. Now I’m confused on whether or not I even want to be in a committed relationship. Like I know what commitment takes and now it feels like I just can’t handle it anymore. ROCD has made me realize I’m super scared of that stuff. And of course having ROCD makes commitment seem even harder and more unattainable/stressful. I’m so scared. Bc I love my partner and our relationship but now I’m afraid I can’t actually handle commitment for the time and it’s so scary.😭I hate that there’s this feeling of calm associated with these thoughts.

***For anyone who has had success with ERP,***…I’m Wondering about the effectiveness of It. I know Dr McGrath has said the thoughts become wimpier over time. What I am wondering is if you are locked into thoughts 24/7 it seems all day everyday, will ERP make them occur just occasionally? My theme is ROCD.

can someone pls give me some outside perspective on my real event OCD:( i did something really stupid about a year ago and it’s been haunting me ever since, i feel so bad and i’d do anything to take it back and it was so out of character for me it’s the worst thing i’ve ever done, so i had been using the app discord for a while just to talk to guys cause i was very lonely and i have very low self esteem so i was hooked on the male validation i was getting on there and one day i was talking to this guy who had told me he was 18 (same age as me) and so we talked on voice call for about an hour later on while texting him i caught him lying about his age and he was actually 15 but he was sort of gaslighting me and saying that he was 18 and instead of blocking him i sort of convinced myself he was 18 and that he wasn’t lying but deep down i knew he was and i texted him for one more hour before i came to my senses and blocked him, the conversation we had was not sexual or anything it was a normal conversation but he was giving me compliments and such and i guess i was enjoying the attention but after an hour i came to my senses and blocked him. I feel so disgusting i’m not into underage guys at all i’m the opposite i like guys older than me so don’t understand why i did something so stupid, i feel like i can’t forgive myself and i’ve been having problems eating and sleeping cause i feel like i don’t deserve too and i feel just as bad as a pedophile i don’t know what to do i want to feel okay and happy but i feel like if people knew about this they’d also think i deserve to suffer and even die. I want to forgive myself i’ve been punishing myself and beating myself up over this for months now and everytime i try to forgive myself i just have thoughts like no you deserve to suffer for what you did and everyone would agree. Can someone please be honest and tell me how bad my mistake was? do i deserve to die for it? can i ever move on and be a good person after doing something like this? I genuinly can’t tell if my OCD has blown this out of proportion or if i really deserve only bad things to happen to me after this.

Over the years I have said some terribly messed up stuff to my SO and I cannot forgive myself. It is part of me. I am so disgusted with myself and sick over it. I have ruined my marriage because of my OCD. I haste myself.

this isnt ocd related but i just wanna come on here to vent. i live at home with a very traditional, catholic, hispanic family and a while back my boyfriend and i were talking about spending the night at a local resort for valentines day, which knowing my family they would strongly disapprove of making a decision like this. However, I’m turning 22 in a few months and for about 3 years now i’ve been paying my own bills aside from rent. I work a full-time job, go to school and therapy and other than when me and my boyfriend go on dates i typically just stay at home. So after deciding with my therapist that the best course of action is to sit down with my parents and talk about it with them. I dreaded the idea because my parents and i often have non-constructive confrontational arguments when it comes to certain values that conflict with each other. In this case, mine is about being able to exercise my independence as an adult and their value is about not spending the night with someone you’re not married to. and when i finally had that conversation about my plans and what that means to both of us a few days before my trip, things actually went really well. we both were able to get our point across and they weren’t automatically denying me permission, refusing to hear me out, raising their voices, etc. and it concluded with things ending calmly with both of us on the same page about the fact that they dont have control over the decisions i make on my own as an individual adult and that they’ve done their part as parents in raising me to always have what i need and making sure i am a good person with moral values. Or at least that how i interpreted the conversation. Fast forward to the night before I’m supposed to go on my trip, I come home from work to let them know that i plan on opening at my job the next morning and intended on coming home to clean my room and pack my things before heading out to my trip. They had completely forgotten about it and then told me that i didn’t have permission to stay the night. this ensued a giant argument where they refused to let me go and i told them they didn’t have authority over me like that anymore. the conversation shifted everywhere from how “its their house their rules” and “i’m my own person”, to me expressing how conflicting its been to grow up in one culture within my household while navigating a completely different one being a first generation american, and how they feel forced to change themselves for me so that i could do whatever i want and that they should be happy for me even if they don’t agree with it, to how they feel disrespected that im not willing to follow their rules and ignore their authority. it came down to me not wanting to compromise staying the night instead of spending the day and coming home. i was furious and disappointed. but that day i decided to stick to my original plan, still trying to keep my parents updated while i was gone. and i admit it was equal parts stubbornness and feeling like i needed to set a boundary in regards to being controlled and no longer being a kid. after having gone and having a wonderful time, im home now with everyone at home giving me the cold shoulder. sure enough both of my siblings who no longer live at home found out, and have hinted at it over text. both my parents are ignoring me. which is fine, i knew and accept that this isn’t going to sit right with them, and im not sure for how long either. but regardless im sad because i know that i hurt them, and i thought that if i could sit down and talk to them like a grown up would that we could somehow come to a mutual understanding. the last thing i want is to regret a very special moment i spent with my loved one that he very generously and earnestly planned and funded for us to enjoy. and i wanted to make it clear that it was never my intention to hurt them just because i wanted to be able to do something like this for myself. it sucks that i cant have something like staying overnight at a resort with a loved one as an adult without also hurting my parents who i love. they have every right to feel the way they do and react how they want but it still hurts very much. regardless of how this situation went someone was going to end up feeling shitty, i already planned to react the same way they are. now that i think about it i still wouldve had just as much fun if i didnt stay the night, and theres no one to blame but myself. i think this post was a huge attempt to convince myself and whatever audience this may have that i did nothing wrong. now all i can think about is beating myself up 😞 not seeking for reassurance, just expressing that i feel all kinds of things, like guilt but also gratefulness and disappointment. and how i feel alone, because i dont want tell my boyfriend and make him worry or feel bad, or my siblings because they also think im selfish and impulsive. besides, i dont see my therapist for another week. i know the best thing would be to offer myself some self compassion right now, im just having a hard time mustering the courage to do so when i feel like i dont deserve it right now.

Here I am having a bad day with ocd . Meanwhile , my mom is giving Ton of crap for ridiculous things like ; having my hair messy, being late to work, not being able to do things on my own like drive a car and/ or transport myself to own places on my own. This is so exhausting she has no idea what I am going through and everyday is a fucking battle for me . The other day she was very upset I hadn’t cleaned up my room but that is all due to my ocd :( I can’t even do that . Not to mention, if I ever do clean my room I have to always do it in such precise way . I can’t have any interruptions and I always have to have everything done the way I feel is right . Aside from the anxiety I get from that, I’m also feeling overwhelmed with my daily ocd thoughts . Somebody help me !

I need words of encouragement to stop the loop I’m in right now of compulsions.

People woth rocd. My brain has been really hurting my heart. Like making up scenarios that my bf doesnt care or he is cheating on me to the point where it makes me feel so dull. I really want him. But im like so friggen dull after thinking about negative stuff 24/7. Now its leading me down the path of if its dull your loosing feelings i dont want that! Then my brain is like popping up of men being taller than him but in reality i could gaf.

Anyone else feel like a thought is screaming at them so hard to admit that it’s right after being triggered by a thought or image and you kind of do but then also know it’s not true in the way it was trying to mean it to be? And you were only saying it/thinking it to make it go away? And also sometimes don’t know what’s real and what’s not? I hate myself.

Found out my fiancé was lieing about masturbating. He knew it was something I didn’t want while in a relationship. He admitted it when he was really upset & started to resent me. He felt like he couldn’t tell me the truth because of conflict. I have asked him a handful of times if he has done it since he admitted it to me. He has said no. Recently he was out of town for 6 days & I keep feeling like he he is lieing when I ask him questions. I do not know how to deal with this.

I feel like my OCD is killing me. I feel paralysed by it at the moment and like nothing will ever get better. What can I do to get out of this trap. Its mainly contamination OCD that is causing the problems. I feel like I'm in a bubble that no one can enter. Isolated and just existing. Feel like there is only one way out of this....

I used to have moments of clarity before but now I just constantly feel like I’m lying about everything. Can anyone relate ? I’m also worried that since I just started out with intimacy , I don’t know what I actually like and therefore I don’t actually like my partner sexually and I’m only into him because society says I should be and I don’t know what I like..🥲

I feel so horrible someone please help! I’m playing Pokémon Diamond and I was in a battle with another girl and I had an urge to look or glance at the chests and I don’t know why but I did it anyway because I had a thought that I was triggered and because they are younger I guess I started freaking out but I had an urge to do it and I did and now I feel so incredibly horrible because it was like I purposely did it? I’m freaking out so much right now I want to cry but I’m at work and I can’t. What if I did want to look there and I did it on purpose? It literally felt that way and now I’m so scared 😭

Do I have to tell my partner my sin I’m struggling with or had struggled? For example he once asked me if I find his brother attractive and I said no but I did but it was my own problem. Do I confess this now? (For example impure thoughts or thoughts that are not okay) ?

Question about pure OCD: when I was younger, I had a lot of intrusive images of people I didn't like, like Tr*mp, Logan Paul, and others, so to cope I had to imagine the opposite person to kind of neutralize it (I had to search on google images of Bernie Sanders to feel better, I know, weird thing but I was really in politics at the time) Can that be considered a compulsion? If yes, has that ever happened to you? Right now I don't feel like that anymore, the intrusive images still trigger me and they do make me feel "impure" but they don't bother me that much anymore, I learned to ignore them as I grew.

Big fight with my husband. I'm a pretty high people pleaser, and I was worried (again) about the lack of comments on my art on Facebook. I was chatting with my husband, wondering why. He blankly said " because noone loves you". It just rung the OCD bell like crazy. I went into tears, my 4 years old daughter asked to apologize, he didn't and stayed silent for 2 hours. And now he's saying he was wrong but it was my fault. I have some self hurting thoughts right now, it's difficult to go through. What a nice way to spend Valentine's Day 🤔

I hate intrusive feelings so much. Like I'll be obsessing over something and then I "feel" something that could be proof the obsession is true... it feels so real and i feel like a horrible person. I hate ocd so so so much