Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Is there another treatment for OCD than ERP ? I really can't support ERP that hurts I got a lot of panic attacks and can't deal with them

i’m starting to believe recovery from real event isn’t possible. many peoples real events are blown out of proportion over small things they’ve done but mine is genuinely something bad and wrong and immoral that i regret deeply and would never do again and i do not know how to live with myself bc i feel like not confessing and just sitting with this is me avoiding accountability i also feel as if the person attached to my event, who i have a close relationship with, i feel as if i am manipulating him and not giving him the moral authority to decide whether or not i should be in his life bc of what i have done any advice would be great. this just feels unbearable

Recently my dreams have been such dogs***t with them playing my real events/ false memories, everyday worries and fears and how vivid and real they feel. I honestly don't even want to head to bed :( I know I should get a better schedule and take care of myself but goddamn is it hard. I'm just laying in bed right now. I usually listen to some calming music or I play a video in the background. Idk I just don't want to dream and honestly this isn't the first time I've felt this way about my dreams. Its just worse with my OCD really back again :/ Anyways any tips for tonight ? Also how was your guys day as well and how is your sleep schedule when heading to bed ?

Is anyone dealing with really bad depression and harm ocd. I have come learn that the harm intrusive thoughts are thoughts and I would never act on them but the depression and panic attacks are awful. Not just the panic attacks but I just generally have this terrible feeling in my chest. I am a stay at home mom with a four year old I just cry all day it’s so hard to do anything and I am waiting on therapy. Does anyone have any tips or advise? How do I deal with this sadness I find no joy in almost anything I love my children and I don’t want them to see me like this

I think my ocd is spiraling or flaring up ig bc I got anxiety, worried and sad abt somethings and then that became me being abt more things like ocd related yk so one reaction caused/lead to anohh th Ed and I just keep on thinking abt past stuff as a kid and what I thought and I feel guilty bc now I’m having thoughts abt ppl in my childhood that I grew up with and I had certain thoughts abt them when I was remembering stuff abt them and now I can’t tell if I sexualized them as a kid or if I’m a pedo for thinking that as a kid?? But those thoughts didn’t register my mind then. But I’m worried that now that I’m going back to my past memories it’s like I’m noticing things that I didn’t really notice or more like I’m fixated on it now like a certain body part or something and I’m worried bc I just kept on going crazy though after thought and confusing myself between if kids can be a p at a young age and I’m scared I was bc Of experiences that I didn’t know I had popped up in my brain and apart of me knows I shouldn’t worry bc I was a little kid but sometimes it worries me bc I felt like I knew what I was doing but I can register is that I kinda just didn’t know Wtf I was doing and well idk, I kept getting groinals and just awful thoughts on why I thought that or how could I say/think something in my brain?! And I’m scared that I’ve always been a p.. and that’s why I’m having these thoughts :( bc I’m denying who I am Yk when I don’t want to be this but it always feels like otherwise and I’m scared that I’ll become my abuser and keep comparing how if I’m having this type of experience with the awful thoughts,feelings etc then I’m thinking that’s what he was thinking but kept on denying it himself until he couldn’t take it anymore… and just gave in to his nature I’m scared that I’m like that or it’s going to be like that, when I want no trouble or anything to do with but I always have these feelings and thoughts and even urges that feel and tell me otherwise and I’m literally getting groinals as I’m typing this :/ ugh just end my life.

Have struggled with this for months now, obsession with the fact that i might be attracted to my mother. Ive previously watched incest porn which i think is the main driving force, and although online research has led me to believe the reason is purely based on it being taboo and porn addiction leading you to more extremes the more you watch, it still massively bothers me with the classic ocd ‘what if’. accompanied with regular sexual intrusive thoughts about my mother, which completely disgust me, and as i have spiralled deeper whats been described online as ‘groinal responses’, which further my deep shame and guilt. initially having a conversation with her relieved these thoughts, as they made me realise that it was just ocd and that of course im not attracted to her, thats my mom. but as it has spiralled its been difficult to even talk to her anymore due to my shame and guilt, with a recent attempt causing me to burst out into tears. i regularly come to the conclusion that of course its just ocd, etc, but i somehow bounce back every time due to how prevalent the question is in my mind, at all times, and particularly due to the porn thing (i am obviously no longer watching any of that type of porn to be clear). This has led me to suicide attempts due to not being able to live with myself if this is true, and heavy research into chemical castration. i really just want to be able to have a normal relationship with my mom. please help.

I'm at the end of my rope. I'm being evicted from my home on Tuesday and I have NOWHERE to go and NOWHERE to turn too. I'm REALLY REALLY scared now. My mom passed away almost 5 years ago and I lived with her with my grandmother since 2006. My grandmother passed away in 2010. I took care of my mom until she passed away in 2017. So, I've gone to my house every night by myself. I've been alone every night since my mom died. I've spent EVERY holiday alone. I've gone to work on Christmas Eve and on by birthday but I would go home to an empty house. Plus, I've had this mental illness for about 20 years now. I'm not sucidal or anything but I can't take it anymore!! I don't know what to do and if I'm homeless, I will NEVER survive it.

I watch a video about the deference between NOCD and denial and i was thinking what if I’m denying and I’m gay but idk if that’s the intrusive thoughts pls someone should explain

I’m getting really demoralised! Every time I focus on a doubt as to why I’m not in the right relationship, I eventually stop obsessing over the reason but something else comes up and replaces it immediately. Like for example I used to obsess that my boyfriend was dangerous and had bad intentions, I know for sure now that this is not the case and trust him. I then obsessed over the fact he wasn’t my usual type and I quickly got I’ve that one as he is attractive anyways and we just had a great connection. I obsessed over looking at his photos on social media and comparing them to other men at one point, again I no longer carry out that compulsion or feel the need to. Then randomly it turned to obsessing over his height , he’s a bit taller than me but we’re about the same height but that’s never been a big issue for me and it hasn’t even crossed my mind until moths in , again I no longer care about this. I developed and obsession that I fancied some other guy I knew , I will mention I never even fancied or thought about this other guy in that way until I had intrusive thoughts with my boyfriend it’s only after I met my boyfriend that I started obsessing about ‘what if i like this other guy more’ which i now realise is not the case and I never did . I obsessed over thinking my boyfriend is gay and didn’t fancy me , I even confessed and he said it’s worrying I would have this kind of doubt 2 years in to our relationship and he was obviously concerned as it’s not the case . Then earlier today I walked past this guy when I was walking my dog that I found attractive but my head started visioning a future with this other guy and I was like ‘what If that means you’re supposed to be with this other guy and is a sign etc’ which is stupid cause I love my boyfriend and we’ve built a strong love and have plans to get married and I would never want to not be with my boyfriend ! I’m lost because I feel like every time I get past a hurdle something else gets thrown into the mix, and I know I won’t break up with my boyfriend over these thoughts but it doesn’t worry me like will I ever be able to be happy and not worry

Everything is horrible, horrible, horrible. I feel disgusting, everything is just terrible. I hate my life, I hate all that I’ve done, I wish it never happened, I don’t care if I’ve “learned” from it, I can’t take it back. I hate how my memory has become so distorted I don’t what real and what’s not. I hate myself for not knowing better and knowing better at the same time. I hate myself

Anyone try to make traits of their ocd into something good, ie creativity, ambition?

I was scrolling through ig and a very pretty actress showed up on my feed. I felt like I genuinely found her sexually attractive and got a groinal response. To rest this I imagine kissing her and I felt like I would like it. The thing is I didn't panic but I really wish I did. I don't want it to be like this. I don't want to be anything besides straight and don't want to have a sexual or romantic attraction to women. Does this make sense? The thing that worries me is that I felt like I was enticing the idea and gave it truth but I don't want it to be true.

Hello, I am a completely broken mess. My fiancé and I lost our gorgeous, incredible dog, Gus, on Wednesday morning. He was diagnosed with an ear infection last week, he went to the vets twice and again on Monday because his balance was off. It turns out that he actually had a very rapid blood clot on his brain and we had to make the decision to put him to sleep on Wednesday morning. The thing is, I am dealing with such guilt because I checked him about 70-80 times (as always when I’m at work) on the home camera whilst we were at work on Tuesday, and he was restless and panting a bit. I instantly knew he wasn’t feeling great, but we had been told the day before that his ear was heavy and probably irritating him. Now, in hindsight, I can see he was in the midst of a severe blood clot which eventually caused him to pass away. How can I ever forgive myself for not going home on Tuesday when I checked the camera? The vet has reassured us a few times that bringing him earlier wouldn’t have changed anything, and they would still have never found out he had a blood clot until it was too late. All signs he was exhibiting pointed to lack of balance due to an ear infection. I feel like I failed him. And my OCD is latching onto this. Why didn’t I go home? Why didn’t I act on the fact I knew he wasn’t 100%? I guess I just thought he was feeling pretty pissed with his ear, but that wasn’t true and I feel so guilty. Please can someone respond I literally cannot cope. I don’t know if this is reassurance seeking or just OCD. Please reply.

Any tips on this theme? Some of my thoughts with this them are bizarre. To someone who has been through it what did you do ab your thoughts

Really really struggling I feel like I need to scream cry run and hide I cannot stop obsessing about my husband he makes me feel anxious uncomfortable etc He cuddled me last night and I felt weird I don’t get it I’m so confused and worried to death I had an appointment at work today I cancelled couldn’t bare the thought of going somewhere and pretending to be present I’m not enjoying food doing anything going anywhere physical contact with my husband and being with him is making me question him constantly I’m dreading the weekend at home with him I just don’t know what to do Do I love him anymore should I leave should I run away I cannot cope with these feelings any longer I’m seeing a counsellor Monday had my meds increased and not drank alcohol in 11 days and I drank very regular This episode all started from a panic attack non related 3 weeks ago

Hey guys I have rocd and I need advise or some words of encouragement When it comes to the feelings of oh I dont love my boyfriend even when I say I do it feels like im lying to myself and it makes me discouraged but I am too numb to fight it Its like my body doesn't want to accept I do Moments when I think oh I want to do something with my boyfriend my brain and feelings shut it down like oh its just going to turn into a routine or nothing he does will make you into him It just makes me depressed and numb because I love my boyfriend a lot, I could not imagine leaving him when I know all I want is him Sometimes my head tells me oh you are too young to have rocd (im 19) or there's always the grass greener on the other Side why settle But I love long term relationships and I want it with him, I chose to date him because it was something about him that was just different and I instantly connected with him We also been together for almost a year (anniversary on August 25) and sometimes my head tells me oh if you guys were together longer its rocd since a lot of people that are on the app I've seen had their relationship for years With anyone dealing with this and go through these episodes in recovery what is it that you do that helps you go forward with your partner and not feeling like giving up

Why does playing logic with OCD never work?

today I was with my boyfriend and after getting over hocd pretty much I think it started morphing to rocd and I just started finding problems that I hadn’t found before and then I was with him and started crying because I felt like I wasn’t as in love w him that I used to be but it was all so sudden idek. has anyone else gone through this

this isn’t really about ocd… so feel free to skip lol. i just needed some advice and this is usually where i go. i’m in a long distance relationship and i love my girlfriend, but the distance is hard. i feel like it’s making me way less emotionally connected and interested in the relationship. i don’t enjoy facetiming her as much and i wish would wouldn’t do it everyday or at least just once. i don’t enjoy hearing about her day, im sexually frustrated from us being apart which isn’t helping my mood, and sometimes she’s just clingy and i don’t want to have to text her all day. that being said i do still love her and miss her dearly, i just am not enjoying being apart because it makes me distance myself emotionally. i feel like this will pass and i don’t want to end our relationship. I’m surprised she hasn’t said anything to me yet because due to these feelings i’m kinda becoming an asshole and not being the best girlfriend i know i can be. what can i do to try and make this work?

Dear lord, I thank you for all the wonderful blessings in my life. Please lord I pray you help me realize the strongholds satan has put up in my mind, my mind is a battlefield and I want you on my side. I pray you help me flow through life with the Holy Spirit within me. I pray you help me cast all fear, doubt, worry, guilt, shame, and anxiety on to you. For I can not figure everything out on my own. Give me the desire to learn more about you and develop a closer relationship with you, so that when my life gets rough and my ocd flairs up I can still live in peace. Thank you for forgiving all of my sins and making me new. Lord I pray you place your hands on my mind and help fill me with healing, as I will trust in you and lean not on my own understanding but on you. “Cause me to hear your loving- kindness in the morning, for on you do I lean and in you I do trust. Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk, for I lift up my inner self to you” psalm 143:9 In Jesus name, amen I was reading my book battlefield of the mind by Joyce Meyer and she talked about how god does not want us to live in fear anxiety guilt or shame. How it is a Gift to be able to give everything all of your troubles no matter how big or how small to him. He will take them because he died for you, he died for you to be happy. He doesn’t want to see you living an unpleasant life. So if you’re struggling today or any day and need a little encouragement I hope this helps. I keep all of you struggling with this in my prayers, I know how hard it is but god wants to help us all, I’m still learning that too!! I’m so proud of everything all of you have accomplished even if you don’t recognize it, it is hard and I’m so proud of you for being here, supporting other and fighting. You are not your ocd never have and never will be. So if you are a believer or not, that’s ok and I encourage you to give everything to god and practice knowing that god wants you to live happily and wants to show you how to do so whenever you invite him to 🤍💛 he is always seeking you, whenever you feel ready you can seek him !