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I saw something that said if you're a Christian or religious with hocd than your just in denial and it's all I can think about. I wanna cry

it feels awful to know i do not deserve reassurance because i am sick. why can’t i have it? it makes me feel appreciated and i give it to everyone around me. i only want it because NO ONE in my life tells me with their words that they appreciate me the way i do to them. why? its just not fair.

I was married for 16 years and am now 7 months divorced. I have OCD. I have had flirtatious relationships throughout my marriage. No physical cheating or anything that comes close. I have been like this for a long time. My ex wife left me because of these inappropriate relationships. I have never wanted to admit that I have done that. My excuses were to blame her for whatever reason. Post divorce I have hung out and “dated” with no physical contact. My ex and I are talking again. The main topic are my actions pre and post divorce. If I were to possibly repair things I am in need of accepting that I am that person who did these things. I spent forever denying that I have been like this. I am not any longer. I am being super honest with my ex wife and myself. It is quite humbling and painful. An incredible amount of anxiety. I have deflected this for years and now, if I want to be a better human, I must accept and change myself. But can I? Can anyone really? I like the sexual attention because it makes me feel good about myself. Why do I need that? I am having horrible anxiety about this. Any thoughts from anyone?

Hi everyone! I need help right now and was wondering if anyone share the similar thoughts or have any insights that may help me. Last week, after escaping 2.5 years, I got Covid. It was not very bad to be honest but still I had high fever, full body aches, lost smell and taste etc. I also am a smoker which I stopped since I got my Covid result. At the same time I read about how important the indoor air quality. I ordered an air purifier right away, but then I thought about all the times in the past. How I always smoked in my room, how it smelled all the time for years, and how bad the quality of the air was. All the dust accumulated where I felt incapacitated to clean. And now with Covid my lungs took another hit. So I am freaking out about dying soon. I have dreams like everyone else, not so big dreams, but I dream about having a dog sleeping on the chair, I dream about having kids with my boyfriend etc. and now I am terrified of dying so soon and not being able to live any of those. I cannot stop thinking this, I know I should made peace with the uncertainty of potentially dying next moment but I cannot. I keep ruminating. I cannot help but resist the thought. I just want reassurance but I know it is not going to be helpful at all but I seriously crave for it. Does anyone also have a similar theme, or any tips on how to deal with this? Thank you in advance!

I’ve had an ocd episode where I had thoughts like « it’s not ocd I’m just crazy » I couldn’t feel anxiety and guilt anymore it was so scary.. can anyone relate ? I feel so lost thank you..

This might be a TMI post so just fair warning. After my boyfriend and I have sex i get worried about whether i enjoyed it enough. meaning that if i didn’t enjoy it enough, that would have to mean i don’t love him/im not attracted to him, or im gay. this is weird but i know that penetrative sex isn’t supposed to feel amazing for women, from what i’ve heard. like it is supposed to feel good but not as good as like oral. im just scared it’s not feeling good enough for me or that im not enjoying it like im supposed to. i do enjoy it, obviously not as much as my boyfriend lol. i was told that it’s important i don’t avoid sex, so im doing my best to do it anyway and when im in the mood. i just get scared for the thoughts and anxiety after. does anyone have tips of what to do with the intrusive thoughts and anxiety after?

I always feel like I’m finally getting somewhere and then one day all of the anxiety just comes flooding back and I can’t cope 😭 when does it get to a point where I can cope better and I’m not picking myself back up after every couple of weeks!!

To the people who believe in god, (my family is orthodox Christian) but answers from all religions welcome, do you believe that god will be able to heal you completely of this? If you go down the route of therapy, they say that there’s no cure from this and you will most likely have to deal with this your whole life, but supposedly with god all things are possible? Although my family is religious I have never been a very religious person, but willing to try anything at this point, It’s not fair that I should be sentenced to deal with this crap my whole life, because it really is like a sentence, it feels like I’m being punished for no reason, I don’t see why I should be plagued with this problem my whole life, I never had this before, my life was fine before and from watching one stupid documentary about a serial killer it’s made my life go into turmoil, and it’s only gotten worse, it went from me thinking there just intrusive thoughts to me, now believing I like the feeling of doing that horrible thing because when I imagined it to test myself for some reason that’s what it felt like. So now before I use to be worried about acting on thoughts because they felt like an urge but now that idea is backed up with ‘you liked the feeling of doing that’ so I just don’t trust myself anymore and have been feeling awful. I can’t see myself being able to live with thinking in the back of my mind that I ‘like the feeling of suffocating someone’ that’s just awful and I can’t live with the fear that I will do that because now I like it. It’s just horrible. I think it’s possible that the thought felt so real and along with the anxiety it some how translated into ‘I like the feeling’ but now I’m genuinely believing that’s the case and feel like my life is over because I understood something I shouldn’t have and now I have evil desires. It’s weird because I don’t feel like myself anymore I don’t even know who I am but when I manage to distract myself from this I feel like me again and it’s like the old me is still here but I’ve just been traumatised to the point that I feel like I don’t even know who I am. I just want my life back

After having a religious conversation with my mom I’m feeling quite triggered. She means well, it’s just I’ve avoided going to church ever since getting serious with my bf because every time I go I get this pit in my stomach and this horrible feeling that God is telling me to leave my relationship. But I don’t want to leave my relationship. So I can’t go to church, read the Bible or anything because it triggers this intense reaction and I end up believing I have to leave even though I love my boyfriend and really don’t want to. is anyone else struggling with this? And at the same time, I have so much guilt and feel so scared that I’m going to die because I haven’t been living a Catholic lifestyle and am afraid to die and go to hell. I don’t know but I’m so sad and lost:(

I skipped my ERP homework like twice in the last five days because I was pretty busy during the day and then too scared to do it at night because I know it’ll give me nightmares ma snake it so much harder ti sleep😭😭 this homework is also really triggering (ehixh is the point) but I’ve been feeling a little better so I keep not wanting to make things worse🥲

My Rocd has attached itself to my ex. Saying that he is the one for me instead of my boyfriend who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I just don’t know what to do anymore, has anyone else experienced this??? Please I need support right now.

I just wish I’d never entertained the first ever intrusive thought I had like maybe I wouldn’t have spiraled so far for so long. it’s always on and off every moment of the day like I’m actually gonna be suffering for the rest of my life

my biggest fear since the pandemic has been getting covid. testing positive, experiencing covid, having to tell loved ones to distance themselves bc i have covid, them getting it bc of me, all of that was a big factor in why i’ve been so careful. i’ve always been really careful when going out. i hardly go out because of that and i only see my bestfriend bc of covid. sure, i’ve gone out to eat, i’ve been shopping, traveled to new york and boston but i’ve never gotten covid because of how careful i am. my family tends to make fun of me because of how careful i am and how many precautions i take before leaving the house. they get irritated when i tell them to put a mask on or wear gloves. my worst fear has happened. i tested positive for covid. i don’t know how, i don’t know from who or where but it’s happened. im feeling really anxious and had an attack when i found out. with everything going on i’ve already felt pretty bad mentally and feeling bad physically has killed me. i’ve been in a series of depressive episodes earlier this month and i’m afraid it’s going to happen after testing positive. i don’t know how to make myself feel better and would really like some tips or just to be comforted :/.

I've been in treatment for about 3.5 months and I have definitely improved. However, I feel like I'm always relapsing... I do exposures for specific thoughts and it definitely helps. Usually my anxiety will go way down and that specific thought will improve. Then I may have a period of a week or so where my intrusive thoughts aren't so bothersome. But they ALWAYS come back. My ocd will latch on to anything at all and Im constantly having new intrusive thoughts. I seem to be stuck in a cycle of improvement and relapse. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Will the intrusive thoughts ever subside??

I feel worse, constantly trying not to engage with the thoughts. I’ve tried erp before and now trying it again but I just feel like crying because the thoughts are still there 😭 I feel like giving up on erp even though I just started .

I feel like I may have been emotional abusive towards my partner. I read an article about emotional abuse and I feel like I fall into some of the categories. I am hyper-critical - always trying to make sure my partner is morally okay, and judging them otherwise (it always feels like a compulsion). I am controlling- always feel an overwhelming need to check what my partner is doing, watching, following- this also feels like a compulsion and makes my partner feel micromanaged. I also invade privacy in the process of checking those things. I am also overtly jealous, I am always on edge and distrust all of my partner’s female friends/get incredibly anxious when they hang out or hug or sit close to each other. This is all so horrible, and I panic about it every once in a while and have tried to work on these behaviors in therapy but the thought that I am abusive is so scary and horrible. These behaviors feel like ocd, and i don’t mean to cause harm, i feel genuine anxiety and an urge to prevent myself from being hurt. But that doesn’t mean it’s not harmful because it truly is. I try to validate my partner feelings and recognize the harm I cause but I don’t know what to do.

It’s just gotten to the point where everyday I’m thinking I’m bad and I’m just taking it as I’m choosing not to be and I’m miserable everyday and don’t enjoy life because I’m plagued with this horrible problem, it so easy to think about these thoughts and I’ve just got it in my head that I like the feeling or doing that horrible thing from imagining it and now I’m just miserable all the time. I don’t enjoy life at all, every time I have those thoughts I get anxiety and start feeling tense but it still can’t shake this feeling of ‘liking the feeling of doing that’ today I had a thought and didn’t feel much reaction, just kind of stopped what I was doing but didn’t feel anxious just kind of blank expression of fed up - but when I have that kind of blank reaction to thoughts I don’t know if I’m actually fed up or I’m taking being fed up and secretly am evil but then after that I went to touch this pillow (the object that stresses me out because my thoughts are around suffocation) and I just started tearing up as soon as I touched it. But I still don’t believe that I don’t want to do that, I’m constantly crying but I’m dead set on believing that it’s true and I’m bad. My mind keeps trying to taunt me creating these scenarios where in the future I’m bad because I’ve now got it in my head that I ‘like the feeling’ and that now makes the ‘urges’ feel worse and reinforces them I don’t understand how I can feel like I like the feeling or something I have 1.never done 2.cry over and stress over constantly but because it feels so real I can’t get Over this. I just miss being able to sit in my home or go wherever I wanted without feeling like I’m a threat and ‘like the feeling or Doing that’ worst problem ever feels like my life is over. Like my head will taunt me with ‘if your alone in the future with an animal and now you’ve got it in your head you ‘like the feeling’ (btw that ‘like the feeling’ also comes with anxiety and the feeling of needing to poop) and along with the urges you would actually act on it, and that thought makes me just feel so hopeless and horrible

For me since I been dealing with intrusive thoughts and also anxiety it’s so intimidating to take on these positions because of how much I need to be contacting people for sales and going on meetings and just overall more responsibilities. I also have a tendency of taking on too much and a tendency to prove myself and others wrong when in reality it’s best if I go at my own pace and do what’s right for me and not lie to myself at the same time. It’s been very tough last couple of weeks for me at work because of the fear and fear of failure and embarrassment along with past experiences that haunt me regarding work.

I just want to love him!!! It’s not fair!! Everytime I talk to him I wanna break up… I can’t tell if ROCD is there anymore… please… I want this urge to go away!!! 😭 What if breaking up is the only way… to know. I don’t wanna break up with him. Did anyone on here 100% believed they lost feelings bc of obsessing? 😢💔

I know for me, the holiday season was really hard when I was in the depths of OCD. I felt I didn't deserve to enjoy it because my thoughts were making me feel like a bad person. All the happiness and "cheer" made it even worse! I never felt like I was in the present moment when I was with family or friends, because the thoughts were so loud. How's everyone feeling after this weekend?