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I'm getting over my health ocd once and for all but it's getting replaced by an extrem fear of developing new Obsessions. What are ways to deal with the fear of new Obsessions and compulsions?

I know this question comes up a LOT in OCD spaces and I am not the first to ask this but I feel like some of my actions really really do indicate denial. For example, I started suffering from TOCD when I was 13 years old. Before that I was a massive massive tomboy who loved being grouped with boys and wouldn’t even touch anything feminine, especially around my friends because I was so embarrassed. I had a feeling that my inner self was girly but I could never show it and i liked being mistaken for a boy a lot. When TOCD hit I did a whole 180, I tried to be as girly as possible. I was basically forcing femininity on myself. Started wearing womens clothing for once, I started looking at my naked body more trying to see or prove that I don’t have dysphoria. I started to explore feminine styles and all that. Idk how to feel about this, I guess I did enjoy it and I thought I looked good, I did get confidence when I was going out, etc.. but I was also very confident going out being super masculine in the past. I also think I forced myself to have more female fantasies and put my new ULTRA FEMININE self into daydreams that I never had before. I was also defensive and said stuff like “oh yeah, I totally wanna look like (female actor here)” when I really didn’t, and more stuff along those lines. I still did have the obsession and compulsion though, I posted on here several times every day and I never got closer to any answers, the obsession DID hit me like a truck one day, I did have panic attacks and trouble eating and I definitely did ruminate on it all day long and was terrified of the possibility of being transgender. but I definitely was pretending to be feminine when I wasn’t. later when my ocd subsided I came back to more androgynous style, even looking not like either gender. I still kept some girly aspects especially when I met my boyfriend. Another thing is that I started engaging in a lot of terf and transphobic spaces during and after my first bout of TOCD when I was 13. I started having problematic views on gender and didn’t like transgender people, especially those who were young and also conformed to their birth sex. I spent hours on detrans spaces and everything. I feel like i conditioned myself into thinking I’m cis, because I’ve read all of these things I did seem so much like denial of being transgender. And now I feel like I have internalised transphobia even when I have been very supportive the last few years before my TOCD came back. The obsession went away on its own after something else very mentally difficult for me happened in my life and I worried less and less about it. But a lot of my behaviour indicated denial. I’m scared, and I don’t know if this was a normal thing for me to do. Right now with TOCD I just wanna be the same as I was before, I’m not striving to be more masculine or feminine or change my presentation, I’m more just analysing what I feel and think and my desires. But I’m so so scared because I doubt if the first time I had TOCD was even real.

I’m 17 and have had two crushes maybe three (I’m not sure anymore). One when I was 12 & the other at 16. A great majority of my other crushes have been of my other crushes have been on celebrities. I stumbled on a tiktok post saying that if you’ve had celebrities crushes then it means your a lesbian. I’ve been spiralling about this and ruminating. I’ve never saw my self together with a woman. But now my brain is trying to convince me by intrusive thoughts 24/7 or a even dream about the same gender (this has been especially distressing). It makes me so scared and anxiety ridden & also feel like a terrible person for being scared. Because I feel as though I’m homophobic. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD back in July. And will start treatment at the end of this month. But I’m suffering badly. My thoughts revolve around this, I struggle to do basic things now and just stay anxiety ridden. The intrusive thoughts & ruminating and trying to find the meaning for things and the researching is never ending. My brain won’t leave me alone.

I just hate thinking that I don’t like my boyfriends voice. Does that mean I don’t live him? I don’t want to hate his voice or how he sounds I wanna like it… I used to say his voice was soothing and I was basically obsessed with it why can’t I be like that now :/ i hope this is my ocd and not me :/ sometimes I don’t like my boyfriends singing I find it cringe but because I feel like he doesn’t have the voice for it but I don’t wanna care :/ gosh I wanna love him for him and not care about how he sounds :/

Someone said that explicit anime content caters to P’s and it triggered me because it was giving me intrusive thoughts about being a P for looking at explicit anime content in the first place… when Im only looking at women my age range or my senior… and thats all I want…

Im so scared when people are close to me or when I realize I’m close to people I start worrying and I hope I don’t bump them or I move at all bc I’m just scared bc I feel like it’s assault and I feel bad and sometimes I get weird feelings that I don’t want to have I just don’t know what to do I’d honestly rather be alone so I know I can’t bump in or be close to people my anxiety is so bad I feel like shit lol , I’ve talked to my therapist and she says she doesn’t think I have ocd that I just have like anxiety so idek

My hocd started about a year and a half ago. Prior to my hocd, I was in a relationship for almost a year, I was sexual active, everything felt great. I always knew I was straight, I was always very turned on by women, and I was never questioning if I wanted to be with a women. Since hocd started, all of that has vanished. In the early stages I had constant anxiety surrounding my intrusive thoughts. Once I learned what hocd was, which was about 6 months into having it, my symptoms started to change. I got more urges and false attractions with no anxiety. it started to attack my emotions, it made everything feel real to the point I just felt like I was in denial. It made me question constantly if I want to love a women or man. It has made me question if I’m faking this whole thing just so I don’t have to come out. When I look at my phone every time I see a picture of man and a women I’m always wondering who I looked at first, and thinking that when I look at a man first that it means I’m gay. My brain is constantly telling me my sexuality changed. I don’t understand it because I always had a very strong attraction to women prior. But now that my attraction and libido are gone, it feels like my body has made a permanent change. I’m stuck honestly. I’ve made Improvements for sure, but it’s just tough to believe that this a disorder doing all this to my mind and believing these are actual hocd symptoms when my mind keeps making me feel like I want the thoughts or that I want to be gay. I don’t know how to disregard it when it’s feels so true and real. I just wish I had a sign or some hope that I want to be with a women. I want to be able to take back my emotions again. Can anyone else relate to this?

Does anyone get this thing with harm ocd where your heads convinced you that you like ‘acting on the thought’ or that you ‘want to’ to the point that your believing it and feel like that’s ‘you’ feeling that way and that you actually do like it and you know you don’t want that to be the case but it feels real to the point your believing it to be your own feeling? Since I kept getting this weird intrusive feeling (I think that’s what it is) that makes me feel like I ‘know how it feels to smother someone and it feels like I enjoy how it feels to do that’ it’s hard to explain but it feels like I like the feeling of doing that even though I have obviously never done that but through ‘test thouhts’ of deliberately imaging it on purpose it feels like I know how it feels to do that and like how it feels to do that and it’s been bothering me for so long now and I can’t shrug it off. I’m literally believing it and it feels that way too. The thoughts feel more intense around anything I perceive as ‘vulnerable’ as well which makes it even worse like I could see a young kid and no intrusive thoughts come but it instantly feels like I ‘like the feeling of doing that horrible thought and it would ‘feel good’ to smother them’ and then I get into this whole cycle or deliberately imagining the smothering thoughts to ‘test’ myself and I get shudders and my body tenses up but don’t feel like I ‘hate it’ still or that I’m ‘anxious enough’

I get triggered by so many things. It's always video games. I will always ruminate and I can't stop. It's terrible

I’m not sure if I should post this here but I’m tired of driving myself crazy. I am a mom. I have 2 girls. One is a new teen and one is a preschooler. The teen used to be very attached to me. Obviously, I know things change with teenage brains. However we were really close, like inseparable and now she mostly wants to be alone and doesn’t want her sister OR I around her much at all. Rarely does she want to do things with me anymore. Again, I’m sure many moms with teens experience this. I see her friends and it appears they still want to hang out with their moms some? And it seems they aren’t as annoyed? With my brand of OCD, I’m constantly assuming or obsessing whether I’m a bad person, mom, wife, friend, either, etc. That something is very wrong with me and every relationship I have. It has gotten way more intense lately. I’m constantly obsessing over things I did or said and if they make me a bad mom and my daughter hate me. I do it about everyone but it’s not as intense as with her. I do not want to ask her nor do I know how. I tried once and it annoyed her. I also don’t want to be needy. Do other moms struggle with this? How do you manage it? I never know if this is completely normal or if I’m just worse? My husband says it’s in my head but it’s so hard to find any relief. I don’t believe him.

Hello Everyone, and I hope you are all doing ok! I'm going to put this post as a trigger warning because I'm directly going to state my OCD thought. I really need help, and I feel like I'm loosing my mind. I have to wait about a month and a half for therapy but before that I have big things planned, such as my birthday and my return to school after the holidays. I kinda want to enjoy them, so I'm trying to make do with my own research. My OCD thought is: What if my reality is fake and my family is suffering in the so called 'real reality'. What if my life is a simulation and my family are suffering in reality. I can't believe im worrying about this. I know it to be daft and borderline insane. Part of me is worried about the fact that I'm worrying about this - am I going crazy? Are these thoughts going to get better? The other part of the matter is the fact that I am desperate to get better and have been using every OCD thought strategy known to man to deal with this thing. But it's gotten to the point where theese strategies of 'maybe, maybe not' might be a compulsion in itself. Often I get spikes of anxiety where I know that 'I should be worrying about this thing again'. I know I'm supposed to feel anxiety to make me get better. I'm prepared to feel anything as long as it helps me get better. It's gotten to the point where in just thinking and thinking, using the thought strategies for OCD just leads to thinking about them and then im thinking about thinking if that makes sense. Is there a reliable method? I know I need a therapist but I don't have that for a bit. I really just want to be comfortable again. I miss being happy. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you all for your ongoing support.

i have always wanted to talk about this but couldn't find the courage to.. I've a friend who was r*ped and she never told anyone about this This one time she vent to me and out of nowhere, she shared all that happened to her... no amount of comfort was enough for her and all I could do was cry with her.. This being said, after her vent, there's been this overwhelming fear in my heart A fear of 'what if' God forbade, this happens again ... to me or anyone else... Though I don't go out much but this whole thing is rooted in my mind, that I have started to live life in a cage... no going outside, no engaging in social events, keeping my distance from men (not generalizing) It has come to a point where i just don't wanna be in physical/emotional contact with anyone anymore

I feel like no one at my job really likes me. I pitched a movie screening idea in a group chat and still got no responses at all. It’s a movie that I thought resonates with what we stand for. I want to quit. I told my mom about it but she said I can’t just quit every job that doesn’t make me feel comfortable. It makes sense. I just feel out of place. I already screwed up because I would at times, not show up to a few events. I wouldn’t show up at times or leave early because I felt overshadowed by a coworker and it probably wasn’t her fault but in my head, I kept trying to avoid her and avoid that negative feeling of hating myself even more. It started when I assumed she was flirting with my bf which made me feel intimidated and anxious around her. I ended up overdosing because of it. I kept having images in my head of bf and her together and it would break me. I would end up making myself smaller and crying. Me and this girl also seem to have some unknown beef with each other. I also don’t know if this is in my head but I noticed some passive aggressive behavior and it fucks with my head. I would leave events early because she was there, would steal the show and it would stupidly make me feel unworthy and invisible. I just have past experiences in relationships where similar stuff happened. I got called out for leaving early and told by an employer I’m not really doing my job because I flake. I work for a center on my college campus and would pitch ideas for events and post on our social media page, but, never really stick around at events due to feeling uncomfortable around the girl. I end up crying internally then I leave early to cry more. It’s ridiculous. So, I think they all just dislike me because of it. I can’t tell them why I act like that. I’m seeing a therapist and she told me this girl isn’t a big scary bear. I’ve applied to many places so far and have yet to hear from some of them. I want a new job.

My anxiety has been bad all week but the last 3 days it’s been okay and had little to no anxiety and then like all morning I was getting intrusive thoughts still about what if your gay and I’ve had that for the last 4 days but not a lot and all the days before today I was able to tell myself like no your not. Then today when I was getting these thoughts about what if your gay and I weren’t getting any anxiety with them and I was like okay well that must mean you are gay then because your not anxious about it and then I just got this really really really bad overwhelming feeling basically like a panic attack like ong your actually gay almost like a realisation and my heart was beating really fast but now the minute I’ve managed to calm myself down I’m thinking to myself obviously your not gay but my thoughts are all over the place but now I’m worried like what if I’ve just suppressed it and actually I am gay or if that horrible overwhelming feeling is going to come back again today because that was horrible. Is that normal

How do you guys make your mornings less hard? The ocd and anxiety is so terrible in the mornings… how do i make my mornings better so it will make a better start of your day

I get incredibly anxiously attached and I’m trying very hard to move past it but it’s been hard. I’ve been seeing this guy who’s incredible, his communication is top tier, it feels right and he’s always there for me, but planning to do anything with him is hard. There are a lot of attributes to it being hard for us both but it’s starting to worry me, is it something I have to worry about? We’ve both become exclusive with one another but the label of bf and gf he said he wants to ask me when the time is right. He works full time, I work as well, I’m usually free during the day or night after a certain time and he has no free time during the week during the day, he also plays football. We both don’t want to meet at night as we don’t want it to always be about sex, well I’m assuming that because he’s said it before. We also both live with our parents (21 and 19) so it’s hard for us both to have our own space, which makes seeing each other even harder. We also both can’t afford big flashy dates, yes he works full time but he’s saving up for big things and I don’t wanna force him to pay for anything he knows that. But people keep saying to me “he could make more of an effort” when we text and communicate everyday without hesitation. If he can’t speak he tells me, his great at it! But it’s the fact I haven’t seen him for 2 weeks now that I’m kind of worried. He has said to me recently he’ll try and find some time, but I’m pretty sure he’s an avoidant and I’m not gonna leave him because of this fact. I’m deeply in love with him but do I even have to worry about the fact we don’t see each other everyday?? We do talk about it but we just always have things stopping us

Hi does anyone else have this theme and can let me know if I’m crazy or in immediate danger? Yesterday when walking to work I saw something fly in front of me pretty close to my face. I don’t know if it was a bat or a sparrow. It was also 4PM but I didn’t get a good look. Should I get the PEP vaccine to be safe it’s really scaring me. I have had this theme before, but I’m never sure if I’m safe and completely healthy kr not. Please advise

Everything the past two weeks has been exponentially better until last night and tonight. I can’t stop thinking I need so much care and support from people around me that they are fed up. I don’t know how to keep living like this. The constant ups and downs, it just never ends

I'm sad because it's too late for me to get over OCD. 😢

Does anyone here take fluvoxomine ? Seemed like everything was going good at first but now after 5 months, I’m having trouble staying awake, having chest pains every day with dizzy spells. Just an overall feeling of being in a daze all day long. Like I have 0 energy what so ever, I also work outside so I was thinking maybe it’s a mixture of the medicine with the heat. I’m not sure, anyone else experience or have any advice, it’s the first time I’ve ever been on any mental health medicine so I’m new to all this