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Started celexa 3 weeks ago. Does anyone find their anxiety and ocd is horrible in the mornings? Then by afternoon it calms down? I don't know if this is due to the medication or if it's just my anxiety about the day.

I got rid of sexual intrusive thoughts obssesions, now HARM OCD cams back and last night I was in the kitchen and I wanted to make sure my HARM OCD is gone for good so I grabbed my cat and I was sitting with her in my arms near that knife, everything good until intrusive thoughts and urges came oit of nowhere and I felt like they were my own thoughts and I feel so sick and I feel like a psycho. Why do I must have this mental issue? I feel so ashamed and I've been crying sincs last night because what if I wanted to hurt my cat? No lover of animals would ever think like that. I think I'm going insane.. It's like I don't know me anymore.. Don't tell me it's my OCD or something like that. What if I'm on the process to become a killer? I don't want that to happen.

I have had OCD for about 20 years and have experienced many themes during this time but I have found the hardest to be the existential theme. This theme started about 3 weeks ago and has centred around the universe. I was driving home listening to some music and a thought went through my mind about the world and gravity etc… this is something I have never really had an interest in, possibly because it caused some anxiety when I was younger but I just cannot shake the thoughts. I have also been experiencing DPDR episodes over the last 3 weeks too which makes the whole situation quite terrifying. I have been put on 50mg Sertraline so I am hoping this will hope and also start ERP Therapy either early September/October (NHS waiting list). I understand it is quite a common theme but it can be absolutely terrifying at times!

I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about my ex. I find comfort and feel better when she looks at my instagram stories. But when she doesn’t, I get anxious and sad. I can’t get out of this funk.

So I feel like I’ve been making lots of progress with my OCD, but there’s one key obsession I just can’t let go of: The fear of being an incel (i.e. involuntarily celibate). Now, before anything else, I must say that I don’t hate women at all. If anything, most of my closest friends have been women. I also do admire women’s other gifts, not just beauty. I too have many “feminine” traits, or at least things that are typically associated with women like cooking, gardening, caring for others, and being open about my emotions. It all seems like I was a healthy blend of masculine and feminine traits, and that it was ok to not be a “Chad”. That is, until I came across the term “incel” My OCD really likes to make me believe I’m an incel, because quite frankly, I’m not exactly conventionally attractive. I’ve been on Tinder, only to be scammed, blackmailed, and rejected. No success there… so my OCD draws the conclusion, yeah you’re an incel. Even though I’m appalled and grossed out by incel forums, and I refuse to be labeled as an incel, OCD makes me think that. I’ve come to the conclusion that I should just give up on dating, because it just doesn’t seem worth the effort. And before anyone starts saying I should work on myself, I’m self aware enough to know what I’m weak at. I’ve lost a ton of weight, go to therapy, take time for self care, have now a job, have my own place, and otherwise doing ok for myself. Do anyone else out there get this too? Female “incel” comments are welcome too.

I can’t stop looking back at the bad things I’ve done. The things I would never ever do and the things a broken person did. During the period of time I made some horrible decisions I was the most depressed I’ve ever been and on the brink of losing myself completely. I went against every moral in the book, looked at myself with zero respect and couldn’t care less what happened to me or around me. The thing I did, I didn’t do it with malice, I didn’t do it to hurt people, I did it because I genuinely didn’t think of the consequences or the lack of respect. I was selfish and I know that. I fully took responsibility and apologised to all parties involved, I know what I did was wrong and I accept that, but I’m worried that I’m never gonna be able to forget about it. The guy I’m seeing now I wasn’t seeing when it happened, but his male “friend” we’ll say was involved. He doesn’t like him not one bit, but I wanna keep that part of my life in the last. Am I allowed to do that? I really wanna forget but it’s like I have this little monster in my head screaming “you’re a disgusting person remeber this? Yeah everyone is gonna leave you! EVERYONE HATES YOU” and I’m back to square one. I love this boy more than life itself, loosing him would loose me. Can I just move on and start learning from my mistakes?

So I have POCD and some of these fears are around my husband abusing my daughter. I'm currently pregnant with our second and so my daughter likes to pretend she has a baby in her belly too. My husband flippantly said, oh we'd get in trouble if you had a baby in your belly. And it's sent me spiralling, why would someone joke about this? It's such an odd thing to say and I feel really on edge now. I told him that he's triggered me but he just chuckled, that's a strange reaction right?

I love astrology and tarot readings and watching YouTube videos but I realized this kind of perpetuates my ruminating thoughts but I feel like I’m addicted to the doses of validation it does give me. It also helps me deal with relationship stress but gives me a reason to hold on to toxic relationships at the same time. Does anyone else experience this ? Mainly if you understand these concepts and how they can be useful tools but because of how we use it to cope it can become a toxic distraction. I miss approaching life embracing the mystery but I find it difficult to stop entertaining this content. Honestly though when I am more social the less I want to hear someone’s perspective on reality because I am instead just living my life and sharing it with others and that mirror explains what is reality. However I have the tendency to isolate when stressed and it becomes a negative cycle. If you have tips on getting out of your comfort zone please share :) <3

hello, i need some advice. Btw this is gonna be really long so excuse how much this is. All my life i’ve loved God and Jesus. I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and savior, and he died for me. I believe and I really love Christ. I always have. I’ve had intrusive thoughts, but recently since my mother passed, they have been bad because i’ve gotten closer to the father in heaven. My thoughts revolve around cursing, and hurting the Lord. Which brings me pain, because the Lord has done nothing but save me. I have developed the fear of committing the unforgivable sin. I’ve researched so much to help my stress, but all it does is make me tell myself not to think those things, and of course i start to think about those things. I have horrible thoughts about the holy spirit even though I want it in my heart and everything I do to be out of it. It just almost feels like i’m at war with what i believe and it’s so frustrating. I have horrible thoughts about the devil. That says I give myself to him, when I don’t and everytime i get these thoughts I have to give myself back to God and Jesus, and I have to picture them correctly, or i have to restart and it can’t land on certain numbers, so if i got it correctly pictured in my mind, but i prayed on 2 i have to restart. This makes me sound so crazy saying this. I also, have to pray in my head; because if i pray out loud sometimes i can convince myself i said things i don’t remember, and sometimes my intrusive thoughts take over and they come out outloud, because they get mixed in with my thoughts on prayer. It all just hurts, because i know this isn’t what i want and it scares me it will get to where i truly want these things when i really don’t. I also have thoughts that say I dare God things, when i don’t, and if i don’t tell God it’s not true a disaster is going to happen. I feel guilt for not praying, and fighting my compulsions and also fear demons and being possessed. Please give me advice, i’m 14 years old, and have already set myself on being in hell because of my thoughts that i can’t control.

I can’t seem to have routines normal ppl get up get dressed shower do hygeine all different but when I do something that’s normal it turns into a ritual so everything I try to keep up on I can’t cause it turns into a ritual like when I was in school I got up and got dressed just like everyone else does but I had to dress a certain way so while other ppl mite just keep on wat they had on the day prior wit like a new shirt I couldn’t do that I had to change everything so clean underwear pants bra and shirt some ppl mite wear there pajamas to school I couldn’t do that I had to dress and now that I’m not in school on ssi and don’t work cause of my ocd I stay in tshirt and boxers no bra but still have to do my dressing ritual so I sit all day contemplateing doing the ritual and wait till late to do it and apply deodorant clean my ears wit qtip put my hair up and use face pad for my face then put my tshirt and boxers back on and put those clothes I just changed into up so I’m doing all the dressing and hygeine but I have to do all of it I can’t just keep the same tshirt and boxers on and go grab my deodorant and qtips and do hygeine stuff here and there like space it out and do deodorant 1 day and the next day clean my ears no it’s everday all at once I do everything dress and hygeine stuff then done and there all it’s own little set so as soon as I wash my hands I get everything out dress wash hands threwout the ritual inbetween touching hygeine stuff then when I’m done I put everythig up then put tshirt and boxers back on I can’t touch anything else can’t answer the phone close a door I get everything I need out only touch those things then put everything up then I’m done same wit a shower if I were to shower myself I’d turn the shower on first then wash my hands a certain way get in the shower only touching the bottles I need and razor if shaveing and then I wash my body left to rite too to bottom kind of way wash each section of my body a certain way rinse off shave a certain way wash my hair a certain way but we’re my contamination ocd has gotten so bad my bf washes and shaves me and like if I were to shave I’d shave top to bottom left to rite so left arm and leg rite arm and leg that kind of stuff but when he does it there’s not a thought in his head which body part he shaves first he just does watever I wish I was like that but anything I do routine wise gets turned into a ritual and has to be done order and symmetry and then the contamination ocd washing my hands a certain way it’s all so frustrating.

So I was driving in the car with my mom telling her how the guys that worked on my window sill left a huge piece of wood under my bed. I imagined picking it up and felt the sensation of getting a splinter in my finger from it. Now all I can think about is how awful it feels to get a splinter, especially from wood. It ruined my whole day. Still here too. How can I sit with this feeling and accept it when it would literally make anyone squirm and feel uncomfortable? If this is reassur-seeking I apologize it's just I can't see how anyone could allow this thought, well more like a feeling without getting uncomfortable 😣

I went to a medical doctor for me to get diagnosed. I talk to him about my physical and mental health. (Before I rarely eat but now I overeat unhealthy foods) When he talked to me, he said that their may some symptoms that shows I have like compulsion/ OCD, like that. But my diagnosis in the paper is really Anxiety and Depression. He gave me 2 medications and I have never been more emotional in my entire life that I went to point that I needed to take medication. (Got shocked because I am just really expecting to get diagnosed) It’s been a month since I wasn’t able to sleep good. Always 2-5 hrs. Felt like even sleeping, I don’t deserve it. If I stop ruminating about Religion, I started to ruminate about my health and it bombarded me. The guilt that I have now is so high because I feel like God is mad at me taking all of this medicine, felt like He is disappointed that I didn’t receive His grace that’s why I wasn’t better yet. I am scared to take this medication. I started with the small dosage. I am afraid if can I really take this medicine? What about the side effects?

trigger warning bc just in case somebody else has the same theme i don't wanna bother them. I'm having a theme I've never heard of before. I'm neurodivergent other than the OCD so I've had special interests all my life. i switch around which one is the most prominent, but right now I'm very focused on a long term one I've had since from about ten years ago. I've been struggling with pretty severe depression, and the worst symptom for me is having a lack of motivation and such a loss of interest that I don't enjoy a lot of my interests anymore. i know that deep down i still do, and i want to engage in them, but my brain just doesn't have the happy chemicals for it. it sucks. so what my OCD has latched onto, is the idea that this loss of interest is permanent. my current special interest is a deeply cherished one of mine and i always fall back on it when times are tough. but it's got me horrified that i will lose it forever to the depression and never get it back. I didn't even realize it was happening until it got so bad I spent 24/7 ruminating unable to eat or sleep and had to be taken to the hospital because i kept having panic attacks back to back so severe they had to do an EKG on me when i was first brought to the ER. they tried everything to calm me down but it wouldn't quit without serious medication. it helped for a bit while they had me on a months supply of the really strong stuff, but it's getting bad again. i spend so much time comparing my level of interest from now to the past to make sure I'm not losing any, and constantly monitor my feelings so i know if they're changing or not. I'm not new to the game, I know compulsions make it worse, so I've been trying my hardest to not engage in them. but when it's so easy it's subconscious, and it's thoughts in your head... a few happen here and there despite my best efforts. and it feels like it WILL happen if you don't do them, or it's already happening and you're warding it off, or... you get the picture. anyway. this has been a total nightmare. i think the core fear here is I'll lose everything i have to my depression, I'll never get back what it took from me, and I'll never feel happy again. my depression has never been successfully treated due to being bipolar, so I'm only just now starting mood stabilizers... but it's taking so long to work I'm losing hope. I've felt too dumb to share this with anyone in my life, or even a doctor. there's no OCD specialists near me so i just tell them my OCD is flaring and I'm too scared to tell them what the theme is. the last time I told a regular therapist about one of my weird themes (over 10 years ago) she mocked me and said "nobody thinks like that." so it's hard to be that vulnerable again thanks for reading, if you did. i feel so alone in this.

Does the free will of "the self", that is not being predestined from birth but choosing yourself who to be, exist? Free will over actions exists but what about of "being"? The very existence of psychopaths and "the monsters" that haunt us because we are afraid of our nature being like theirs, is responsible of the fear of being something that you don't want to be; to be in denial, to have the nature of a monster just because you were born that way. If the monsters didn't exist, if they weren't labelled as being born with mental illnesses (which triggers me because they would be put in the same category of mental illnesses like ocd), if the monsters did what they did simply because they chose to do those things themselves and not because of the need to satisty an unchangeable nature of something that came at birth, then things would be better. Because then there's the free will of "being", of "nature", and people would be evil because they chose to do evil things, and not because they were born like that, with a perversion. I would feel better that way. But we all have free will over our actions, and there is no excuse in the world that can justify disgusting abominable crimes. If nobody were born with evil, with a perverted nature, like having a sick evil attraction for ____ like many monsters have, then I would be assured because then I simply choose not to commit evil deeds because I simply chose to be a good person. Because I had a choice in everything. But if I were born as a monster, nothing i did would matter in the etichal plane because I was born with the nature of a monster, even if I chose not to do evil deeds, nothing would change the nature of the monster, and I wouldn't be able to tolerate and accept that. To be born evil, with a perverted mind, and to be in denial all along, that is my biggest fear. So I wish everybody was born neutral and everybody had free will not only in action, that anybody has, but with "the self", with the nature of the mind and of the being, having the free will of not being born as an evil, the free will of the "ethical-self" and the "ethical nature", so ultimately you choose yourself to have the nature of good or evil, not predestined by forces outside of your control. But then, nobody chooses to be born in a poor or rich family, with dignified circumstances or not. It's all just luck. Life is not just. So if luck is the same criteria in which someone is born good or evil (talking about the free will of nature and being, not of action) it terrifies me that I could be born good or evil simply because of luck. And if luck is 50/50, I'm afraid of it not being the good one. Of the possibility that I was born evil and that nothing could change it, even if I never commit bad deeds and I do good, I wouldn't be able to live knowing that I was born with the nature of a monster. So if it amounts to luck, I hope that the unluckiness that I received is just OCD, and not something else, more wicked and abominable. I hope I'm not in denial and that I just have ocd and that i don't actually think and believe those bad stuff and i don't have those perversions that my brain tries to convince me that i have with those intrusive thoughts.

Well yesterday I had a major anxiety attack, and groinals that felt way real almost as my real ones. Today through the day I've been getting feelings of butterflies in my chest when compulsively thinking about this theme they don't feel bad sometimes my mind says they're pleasurable but still they're there and make me anxious, are stomach butterflies the same as chest ones? What is this?? I felt this same feeling the day I started with my ocd but I forgot it and now it came back and I fear it's because I liked what triggered me

I’ve been going through harm ocd nonstop and I feel like it’s never going to end it feels like my brain wants me to act on everything it feels like urges or like I want to and I can’t stop crying and panicking I’m in therapy but I’m scared nothing is going to work has anyone felt like this I feel like I need to never be around anyone

My OCD/ Germaphobia has just been ridiculous lately. I cleaned the handle to my fridge- but I still don’t want to touch it??? What do u guys do or what do u suggest? I’ve just been stressed, anxious, and my OCD/ Germaphobia has been on a ridiculous overdrive lately

I recently tried to get on medication for my OCD but in the process I was stopped and diagnosed with Bipolar. Does anyone else have bipolar disorder? I feel a bit lost

Is it actually possible that a person can have low libido in real life/fantasies but porn still can get a reaction? I know they say porn is porn and doesn't define what you like in real life and I'm not talking about watching "gay porn" but in general.

I was in the bathroom doing ERP because I share a room with my wife and daughter and my therapist told me to do it when I was alone and when I finished I noticed I was screen sharing with a TV around the house. I could’ve been in her brothers room or he parents room or the living room and im terrified that someone saw what I was looking at.