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the NOCD Community

I have terrible anxiety at the moment brought on by a so called friend who has said awful things about me as she knows how sensitive I am. Why do people have to be so cruel? It is bringing on my ocd now.

Does anyone else cringe/feel uneasy at the thought of intimacy with their SO? I read an article that says that’s a sure fire way to know your relationship is over.

I’ll feel fine for a few weeks, then get a scary thought like “what if this isn’t real” or “what if this is a video game or made just for me” scary things that I stupidly read one time can indicate “psychosis” or things like that. Now I know it’s not truly psychosis as the thought scares me and isn’t a “belief” it is an anxious intrusive thought but my mind always is like “but what if you have other mental illness”. I’ve been told by countless psychologists that I have anxiety and occasional OCD thoughts. But my question is has anyone else experienced that before, and if so how did you get through it and not focus on it? The anxiety sucks because the body sensations that go with it, but it just makes me hypersensitive and overly aware of everything. Advice?

I don’t want to post the same things all the time but I’m having a shitty moment. I’m crying by myself in my room like I have everyday for so long. I’m so sick of thinking about my sexuality and sex every minute of everyday. Anything and everything becomes sexual evidence of some sort. I was doing something at work that involved pushing with my fingers and I had a thought of it being sexual. I’m terrified to ever be touched by anyone and I have no interest in any relationship ever anymore because I just want to be alone. I couldn’t even hug my best friend of 5 years without coming close to crying because I was scared. Scared of hugging my best friend! Everyday is the same, I do the same googling and watch the same videos and think up the same scenarios to test how I feel about them. The only thing stopping me from doing anything to myself is my parents. And every time I have a suicidal thought I go downstairs and see them and feel bad. The scariest part is I’m going to be home alone for a few weeks soon and I’m terrified. Again sorry for posting similar things all the time I just have nobody else.

I’m worried about ERP. I don’t have any physical compulsions, and struggle to see any mental ones either. I don’t feel scared about anything and uncertainty doesn’t bother me (I’ve accepted that if my relationship ends it’ll suck but I’d be ok) so if ERP is the best treatment for this- how will I ever get better? Does that mean it’s not OCD? I feel like I’m literally going insane!!!!

My OCD brain tells me if I don't do these mental rituals then this universe gonna be destroyed by some angry god and I'm responsible for this because I'm offending some god by living the life of my own terms,why OCD is so sickening by giving these threats???

No ‘what ifs’ anymore- just direct statements sometimes ‘you don’t love him’ sometimes ‘I don’t want to be with him’. I can’t see any hope of feeling better- I don’t even know if this is OCD. This isn’t how love is supposed to feel- how do I know if my partner just isn’t the one? I did have really intense anxiety but could still feel that love and desire to be with my SO but now- it seems to be fading away. No more anxiety, intrusive thoughts feel a bit muddled up rather than loud, aggressive, specific thoughts. Help :(

Dose anyone else feel embarrassed that they take medication for they’re mental health? as a little kid I used to think it was cool cause it made me different but now I’m ashamed of it. it makes me feel like I need meds just to feel normal . It makes me feel like I’m a crazy person and kinda upset with myself for not knowing how to control my OCD enough so I need meds to help.

I feel like I’m starting to deny my sexuality. Before this I never really thought about girls that way. Now I am and it terrifies me. It feels like I just don’t wanna accept that I’m lesbian. I’m so damn lost. It feels like I know I’m lesbian. But I just can’t be. Anyone feel this way? Probably reassurance but if any of you think I am or it seems like I am please tell me.

How open are you about your OCD?

I just spent the whole last two hours watching YouTube videos like „how to know you‘re lesbian“, „signs you’re lesbian“ and I‘m panicking right now so much like I can barely breath. HOCD, what did you do with my life ?

Hey guys ..I’m new to this . Had OCD since I was about 10 . I’m now 31 . Never ever have I ever admitted it before .but I’m a mum now and I’m terrified she will pick up my traits.i recent told a close friend of mine but that’s it .no one else . I dunno what I after really . A good start would be to know I’m not the only one out there .my OCD isn’t cleaning ..it’s the way I do things .. like how I turn a light switch impacts my whole day if “ it doesn’t feel right “ I do it over and over till it does .but the problem is .it never does !

I’m off on holiday with my boyfriend for our first trip away together on Friday. I should be really excited (and a small part of me is) but another part is worried this might be the thing that pushes me over the edge and into ending the relationship. From past experience with friends, I get quite irritable and just switch off. Does anyone have any similar experiences and how did you deal with them? I’m also no longer ‘what if-ing’- just statements ‘you don’t love him’, ‘this is over’ and last night got some physical ‘dropping’ sensations in my stomach which made these thoughts feel real. I’ve found him generally really annoying this weekend which has made me sad because really, he’s not done anything. I had such fight and determination in me 2 months ago that my relationship was what I wanted but now I’m really struggling to feel this. Tips?

About to send this to the love of my life: I don't think I'm healthy enough to be with you Jack. You deserve the best, and I may of been that at one point but I'm not now. I feel like I'm holding you back from so much you should be exploring/doing and that's selfish and unfair of me. You shouldn't have to worry about someone that is not in touch with reality, and feels crippling guilt for things she hasn't done. You have been so great, and supportive (more than anyone ever would in this situation). I know you love me, and I'll always love you. You have been the greatest joy in my life, but this isn't fair to you because the truth is even if I get better this may never go away entirely. You have done nothing wrong, but I can't live anymore like this. And you don't deserve to go through this kind of stress. You've had more darkness then anyone our age should go through already. You need light right now, and I don't think I can be that. If any part of you agrees with this; you know I'm right. I'm doing the right thing right?

Does anyone have an eating disorder and OCD?

Therapists make reassurance seem like the most horrible thing ever. When in reality for me...that’s the only thing that makes the thoughts stop for a very long time. Like months or sometimes even years, in a way ocd helps me get rid of it. Certain compulsions make me feel okay and safe, that’s why I do them . So I feel calm

i just want to cry. i literally had a meltdown in my room earlier today and another one in the car and i still just want to cry. everything is getting to be so much. everything around me feels so big and i’m just so tiny and helpless. my parents don’t know that i’m going through this and that’s making everything so much worse. they keep asking me why i’m so quiet and why i’m so down today and i just say that i’m fine and that it’s just a weird off day. it hurts me so bad to do this by myself, lie to them about why i’m sad, and cry by myself in my room because they don’t know about anything. i practically tear up every time they ask me why i seem so down. i’m just so sad. i don’t think i’m depressed or anything because this is the first time in a while that i’ve had a slump like this. i just think it’s an off day.

PLEASE HELP. I’ve feeling so low. Last night when this guy was hitting on me as I worked in the bar I had thoughts about being single etc. Afterwards I felt so guilty and horrible because I LOVE my boyfriend. He is amazing to me and an incredible person! But during the time the guy was flirting with me the thoughts didn’t ‘feel’ intrusive. So now I’m thinking if that happens again and I get those intrusive thoughts (if they are intrusive thoughts?!) I’ll do something to ruin my relationship and life! I should say before as well that before working my shift I do compulsions so that I don’t betray my boyfriend. As I have that massive fear that the OCD circles around. So I was scare to act the way I did, and during it I ‘felt’ like I didn’t bother etc and then afterwards I go back to feeling guilty and absolutely horrible. I know I’ve ranted but I really need some rationale. I don’t know what to do

OCD is draining me. Everything thought I get feels more and more real ?

(tw: pocd) ive spent the whole morning obsessing about accidentally becoming okay with the content of my intrusions that now ive stopped feeling anything when i think about my obsession. it's like. i know pedophilia is wrong. there's literally no reason it's not wrong. i also know know that im not a pedophile (i can't explain how...i just feel certain.) but now ive like,, accidentally condoned the content of my intrusive thoughts? like some part of my head has gone all philosophical and is going "yeah you aren't attracted to kids, but you used to masturbate when you were a child, and studies prove that everyone has, so why is the idea of kids being sexual bad?" (but obviously it is!! i know that!!!) is that also an intrusive thought? it's not something i personally want to believe, although i almost don't feel enough anxiety to convince myself i don't. so now im like intellectually freaking out, almost like this is my ocds last ditch attempt to throw me back into it