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When I see other people living their life normally, being happy without OCD, I get jealous. I wonder what would take for us to be like this? because I was once like that, before ocd got me. I feel like crying. this is fr a nightmare.

Yesterday, I made a post saying that I don't know how to cope with being alive. Right now, I'm really struggling and I'm even more depressed. I think what caused me this distressed was the nickelodeon docu-series and hearing these stories what these young actors went through re-opened a wound of my own childhood trauma and I'm spiraling. This week has been horrible and I know when ppl say that when you're suicidal the problem you're a dealing with is temporary but this doesn't feel temporary. I called my counselor a few days ago to schedule an appointment but he's off this week but he promised that he may squeeze a session tomorrow. At least I have that. I just don't know what to do.

feeling awful right now- last night and this morning i was thinking about something and didn’t have any anxiety or shame around it. i then realized today how wrong that thought was and it caused me a lot of anxiety and shame, and now i can’t stop ruminating about it. i can’t stop thinking about the fact that i had that thought and didn’t really see an issue with it, and now i feel like a horrible person. i feel so much guilt and anxiety now, and i hate that i had that thought. has this happened to anyone else?

And even a bit angry when trying to stop ruminations and compulsions and how long should I expect to feel this way?

What do you guys do to distract yourselves from having intrusive thoughts and images? help please.

Have any of you ever experienced OCD and driving? It does to me. I’m constantly afraid to drive alone or I’m afraid I’ll get into an accident with someone. I’m trying hard to cope with it by saying affirmations and meditations before I get behind the wheel. Does anyone else with OCD experience this?

I m at the dentist right now I m worry because I have tmj I m already In pain in my teeth head pressure eyes face ears pain all over but don’t want them to give me anything for the pain so I won’t say anything but coming to the dentist with tmj pain is the worse plus I have dentist anxiety

Hi, I need some help and insightful words if you aren’t too busy and it’s convenient for you. I’m very melancholic, borderline, and irrationally jealous. Here’s the story: My grandmother is letting my female cousin move in her house, despite the fact that she most likely does drugs — she talks extremely fast, always has beer in her hand, is very thin, and has abnormally constricted pupils. Her father used to be on meth. That really bothers me, and it’s not fair because all her money will go to them and she’ll be rent-free. It’s also not fair because, humbly speaking, I make good decisions, used to take care of the family the best I could, and got kicked out when I turned on the water for the roommate’s RV out of kindness (you remember what happened). I understand that she broke up with her ex-con criminal boyfriend, but this is no excuse. It sounds horrible, but I don’t care, as she got herself into her own mess and she’s the company that she keeps, and she needs to find her own way, yet I at least tried to be compassionate and prayed that she stay safe. I got to admit, I also did a banishing ritual for her not to move in or not stay there forever so no one gets in trouble for her plausible using. Anyways, I am unable to control my depression and jealousy. I was told that I was the favorite granddaughter, however, now with her moving in, I am afraid that that won’t last forever. I can’t cook and my grandmother loves her meals — she always brags about them. That makes me angry, which is one of the “poisons” in Buddhism. I’m melancholic since I know that she’ll warm up to her again, despite me warning her of her past (or current) criminal history when I did a background check. How can I control the unnecessary crying spells and jealously? I keep on reminding myself that according to Buddhist philosophy, jealousy is one of the three “poisons.” Yet, I’m unable to control these imprisoning feelings that are associated with the mortal brain that God gave me that just so happens to have a major chemical imbalance. I know I chose to live this way before I was born as a test of resilience, but everyday it is so difficult to live with OCD, Bipolar depression, ASD, etc. Also, I’m trying to finish an exercise in my jealousy workbook, but it isn’t quite helping. Do you have any helpful tips? Thank you for your time! I apologize if this sounds too lengthy… I’m also going to send this to my therapist.

DROP SOME COPING MECHANISMS FOR ME TO TRY :3!!

Hello again, I need help because I feel like I made a terrible mistake when I was child. I saw my brother topless through a reflection of computer screen and I remember like I was looking knowingly. Now I feel like I need to talk about it with him to do my compulsion but I am experiencing obsessions about my family for the first time and I can't talk about this mistake because it is harmful for my family and I love them. Do you also experiencing something like this? Do you feel exteremely guilty about something you did in the past and can not stop thinking about it? I don't know am I a bad person because I am hiding this mistake from him? But also I can't talk about it. How can I get over this situation?

Anyone experienced something like this? I was never diagnosed with depression. However lately idk if my ocd is trying to latch on another theme but its questioning whether or not im depressed. Im scared of depression. The feeling in my stomach makes me think its depression. But the same feeling in my stomach is also one I feel with OCD flare ups. I did research symptoms of depression and was self checking. Anyone else experienced this?

I was a disgusting disgusting child. I don’t think I deserve to have this life knowing how horrible I am.. I can’t get my real event out of my head

im very. tired. just drained. the past four or so weeks have taken everything out of me. the energy, drive, hope, etc. i would love to believe it's tied to school (im in my 4th week) but honestly its been the only thing keeping me from js throwing in the towel on everything (not saying in a self harm way, i mean as in js completely giving into the depressive episode). cant trust my dad. cant trust my mom. was already the case before, but gets worse and worse every single day. as in remembering or finding out abt things that fundamentally change the way i see them as people, let alone as parents. nobody in my family is aware of the actual details of my mental health/illnesses. not to say i want everyone to know everything, obviously NOT, but i don't have anyone to go to as my symptoms worsen, knowing i will either be called a liar or they'll tell everyone else. same with friends. not that i don't trust them, but im scared it'll either scare them away or they won't know what to say and ill be left feeling more alone than i already feel. im ashamed and im terrified of myself, of all the years ahead of me people keep talking about, unaware that everytime i think of the future, i think of the fact that some of my more severe symptoms/illnesses will never truly be gone. in fact, inversely, much is expected to worsen. im trying to act proud. they ask so many questions, and i give answers to appease. but i feel myself spiraling out again and i am so, so, so exhausted. my rituals... the handwashing, the magic number, the taboo intrustive thoughts, the skin picking and now the hair pulling (these two are now taking up most of my days home), etc. and the bpd, this empty pit i feel, these huge jumps between being so angry with someone and a moment later crying myself sick because i feel bad about the anger and interpret everything as rejection or conspiracy. then there's the visual and auditory hallucinations, the constant nagging in the back of my head telling me im being watched, im only acting human, everything i am saying is untrue and someone else is acting through me, unaided by the dizzying jumps from dissociating, depersonalizing, and hyperawareness... even writing this, i keep thinking i am lying. i am lying, everything i do is false, orchestrated, action taken through me from someone or something external, it's taking everything out of me. i can't sleep, then i sleep too much. the addiction, too. im not going to, nor do i feel necessarily the urge to, harm myself. im just tired. very tired. thinking of harming myself, actually, feels like such a waste of time and energy. i just want to let the world pass me by, drag me along with it, let it take over. ugh.

I’m so mentally exhausted… as soon as I have a short period of time where I feel everything is good my body decides to be like “oh hey here’s this, you should definitely get that checked out” I’m so sick of the worrying, I’m so sick of the medical bills, I’m so sick of the drs, im sick of losing sleep, I’m so sick of not being able to live my life fully & peacefully. I’m just so tired. People tell me “you know you just don’t have control over these kind of things” OKAY but if I catch it in time then I do a little.. if there’s a slightest chance I can prevent something bad happening to me my brain refuses to give up on it until I’m 100% certain that particular thing is ok. It just never rests. I try to think positively & manifest good things into my life & my body. I saw somewhere if you think something enough & start to believe it then it could actually happen which has become a whole new fear of mine. So now I’m like “don’t manifest a tumor, don’t manifest heart issues” but it’s THERE. I’m just lost, I hate living like this. Any words of encouragement? If you experience this, what helps you?? Or does anything?

I’m sitting here trying to calm down so I can go to sleep at some point at every time I hear a plane my brains thinks it’s some bomb now even though it’s obviously not. Even fire sirens freak me out now and of course I’m lucky enough to live right near a station. I’ve been so paranoid so intensely lately and I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. Talking to friends and family only does so much.

Should I put videogames?? It's one of my favorite hobbies And it used to keep me from obsessing and from overthinking But I had an ocd flare 3 weeks ago and idk, my life just hasn't been the same, I feel panic, anxiety, things just doesn't feel the same, I haven't been able to play video games since I feel they could make me more anxious Is it ok to quit them??? Or should I try keep playing??

i’ve been posting a ton on here recently. my OCD is taking over. recently i’ve been playing this game on my phone for hours at a time for the last couple of days. today when i was about to fall asleep all my mind could picture was the game and all the features of the game. i couldn’t change it to anything else it always went back to the game , maybe bc i was focusing on it?? then i woke up and i thought it would be better because i did not dream about the game but now when i close my eyes for longer then a blink i still see a vivid image of the game and the features. it’s freaking me out and my ocd is telling me it’s gonna start happening when my eyes are open too. has anyone experienced this?

I've been getting carpet beetles (i saw 2 over the past few days) and I read online that they can lay eggs all over including in clothes and now i'm paranoid that all my clothes are contaminated and i have to rewash all of them and I just feel so gross and it feels like carpet beetles are all over me.,

I’m going through one of the worst OCD spells in months. It sucks when you were doing so well but it hit you like a freight train. Like you think it’s over but it just comes right back stronger and more overwhelming. I keep thinking that maybe I don’t have OCD and I’m just making excuses for myself. Like “Oh I’m having OCD because of my period” “Oh it’s because I’m stressed” “Oh it’s the weather”. It feels too convenient! Like there’s always something that can cause it to trigger. It makes me feel like I’m mentally unstable and just making excuses for myself. It’s like I’m in a infinite loop of constant guilt and anxiety. It’s so tiring. I wish I could be normal and happy 😞

I’m not sure what to label this under or if this is OCD. I just downloaded this app, have been diagnosed with OCD previously (no sun category) and just want some sort of help. I work as an auto tech in a small shop for the last 8 months (3 workers including myself). The boss and my superior are childhood friends (now in late 40s) and im 25, newly married and have a 18 month old. When they are stressed, especially my boss, I immediately jump to its something I did. So I seek out affirmation that it’s not and I feel it comes off annoying and like im not mature or just plain sensitive, which I know I am. I texted him last week apologizing for a mistake I made on a job and even called him about 3 hours later after not getting a reply because it was absolutely debilitating thinking that I’m going to get fired or how disappointed he was. He told me that it was ok and I needed to improve on not making mistakes as often and assured me he wasn’t thinking about firing me. Flash forward to this week he’s been stressed just about everyday with what seems like clients and a bigger job we have coming down the pipe and it’s driving me crazy that he’s not in the best mood and pretty snappy. I’m obsessing over the thought of being a disappointment, that I’m not going to be good enough to keep around and my questions and mistakes are what is aggravating him. Im afraid of losing my job and not being able to provide for my family or that my mistakes and frequent questions have put him in a weird position of not wanting to keep me around. It feels like I can’t breathe or think when the people around me are stressed and in a bad mood, and I can’t solve it for them. Thank you for reading this far, I feel alone and like I’m losing my mind. I bawl crying when I have moments alone in the gym or shower, I swallow it and smile to be there for my child and wife but my insides are inflating with fear and stress of performing to par at work and being enough for my boss and family. Has anyone experienced this, how do I get over this. Im on venlaxafine, propranolol and lamectal for anxiety and panic attacks. I’ve been like this in previous jobs, I just feel like this until everybody at work is happy, then I’m happy, until there’s another stressor for them and I’m right back in this boat. Thank you so much