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Can thoughts or this disorder makes you want to have the intrusive thoughts to happen even when you don't and it becomes a confusing mess? Because I'm dealing with that rn and it's hard to manage.

I’m starting to feel like I need to grieve the idea of being a mom. With this disorder (especially the theme I have) I feel like there’s no way I could move past this; put it behind me and have a happy life with a partner and kids. Even though that’s all I’ve ever wanted. I don’t want to mess up my kids by not being able to be present and don’t feel like I would ever find a person to fall in love with who would put up with this part of me. And I wonder if maybe I’ve made marriage and kids an idol in my life and maybe I just need to lay it down at Gods feet and accept that it may never happen for me. I guess that’s part of accepting uncertainty huh. It’s so hard bc that’s all I’ve ever dreamed of my whole life, but these past few months have shattered my idea of what my life would be like.

when I first started having intrusive thoughts I was very anxious. But the real anxiety that just wouldn’t go away started when I did my research about why I have these intrusive thoughts. I mean it somehow felt good to know that you are not the only one struggling with these thoughts but on the other hand, learning how severe ocd is brought me a lot of panic and stress. Especially when reading about peoples experiences with ocd and them saying, that they struggled with this their whole life. The thing is, I don’t even know if I have ocd or if it’s just the panic that my research caused and therefore caused anxiety that fed my intrusive thoughts. Anyone else experiencing this or know something about this???

I’m so desperate to know who I am and what I’m attracted to, god I’m so desperate to know it’s not me. I can handle the thoughts and images as long as I know it’s not me. It just feels so real

When i play video games, i start to feel so guilty and bad. Because i feel like playing video games will make me a bad person, a rageful, angry person and that will lead me to be the person i hate. I feel like if i play games, it will make me an unfaithful, narcissist, angry, rageful person and it will ruin my future, my academy and it will lead me to do things i don't want. I feel like im becoming someone horrible. Other than that i extremely fear being like my mother. Im truly scared of that. I don't want to be angry, harmful to everyone around me. I don't want to be a narcissistic person who rants about everything for hours, gets angry at the smallest thing, blames people, belittles them. I especially don't want to hurt my partner. Im scared to hurt kids and animals, im scared of anger. When i get angry sometimes, i feel extremely guilty and bad. And i feel like im the most terrible person alive. Other than these, im scared to see my partner, my love for him as an exaggeration, i feel like i won't care about him or say "he is not a big deal, i don't mind not loving, hurting him" etc. Im scared to be like the people who hurts their partner, never cares about their partner, see them as a tool.

What is the scariest intrusive thought/commands you ever had and how did it affect you?

Is making a plan how you will tell your partner it’s over a compulsion?

Is there any book recommendation for ocd? It can be more scientific or fictional

Aghhh I can’t do this I need an escape

I was telling God & Jesus “I would NEVER reject them”! I know I said it right because I made sure over and over again and not even kidding 5 minutes later I started freaking out “what if I said I reject them”! Then I would do it individually to each of them & make sure they know I would NEVER reject them then literally right afterwards doubts started creeping in making me doubt did I say it correctly! I’m still alittle freaked out but I told God & Jesus I know I said I would NEVER reject them but “if” I did say it wrong (which I think it’s OCD making me doubt myself) then I asked God & Jesus to please forgive me & they know what I meant! I guess my fear is what if I said “I rejected them” out loud instead of “I would NEVER reject them” does that make sense?! I’m pretty sure I said NEVER because I said it multiple times to make sure but i guess it’s that “just right” feeling. I just pray that if I did say it wrong God & Jesus forgive me because I would NEVER say that & if I did I pray they forgive me because I can’t live my life without them. Ughhh doesn’t this sound like OCD? I just pray God & Jesus still love me if I said the wrong thing because I can’t even imagine me saying that rejection thought out loud when I know, said and meant I would NEVER reject them! Am I okay? Will God & Jesus still love me and be with me if I accidentally said it wrong?! Has anyone gone through this?! Please any advice.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of anger recently. She had a pregnancy scare and I immediately stepped in to help her, except I didn’t feel anxious or even really bad for her because I’ve been pregnant before. When I was pregnant she wasn’t there for me during my abortion and honestly nobody was. It’s my fault cuz I said it was fine but I feel like a real friend would have showed up anyways. I found myself helping her and telling her I would help her pay for her abortion if she needed it, but I realize she would never do that for me. It made me feel angry and now I’m having moral OCD about my empathy towards people. Someone called me a narcissist on this sub yesterday and it’s been freaking me out because I always worry that I am one and I have been spiraling ever since.

I have rocd which makes me feel like I’m not attracted to my boyfriend But now I have done something wrong and I’m trying not to self harm because of it I keep seeing this guy at the gym who I had a thing with when me and my boyfriend weren’t together and we’ve been talking loadsss when we see eachother and its very flirty I have told my boyfriend whenever this happens but haven’t told him about it yesterday because he said if it happens again he will break up with me and also he’s going through stuff so really don’t wanna make him upset I hold my hands up and know I shouldn’t keep ACTING on the thoughts because that’s when it’s bad But I just get so scared that I’m not in love with my boyfriend of nearly 4years idk what to do I see a future with him but feel like he deserves much better than me now and that I’ve ruined it and that it’s not real because I’ve been disrespectful And like when I’m with him I’m not thinking about the other guy or anything and like I’m genuinely happy with him but sometimes I get thoughts everytime I say “I love you” that’s like: “no you don’t “ or “you’re lying” “you’re not attracted to him” Don’t know what’s wrong with me just want to love my boyfriend peacefully but I’m the one ruining it like why don’t I have self control

I have rocd which makes me feel like I’m not attracted to my boyfriend But now I have done something wrong and I’m trying not to self harm because of it I keep seeing this guy at the gym who I had a thing with when me and my boyfriend weren’t together and we’ve been talking loadsss when we see eachother and its very flirty I have told my boyfriend whenever this happens but haven’t told him about it yesterday because he said if it happens again he will break up with me and also he’s going through stuff so really don’t wanna make him upset I hold my hands up and know I shouldn’t keep ACTING on the thoughts because that’s when it’s bad But I just get so scared that I’m not in love with my boyfriend of nearly 4years idk what to do I see a future with him but feel like he deserves much better than me now and that I’ve ruined it and that it’s not real because I’ve been disrespectful And like when I’m with him I’m not thinking about the other guy or anything and like I’m genuinely happy with him but sometimes I get thoughts everytime I say “I love you” that’s like: “no you don’t “ or “you’re lying” “you’re not attracted to him” Don’t know what’s wrong with me just want to love my boyfriend peacefully but I’m the one ruining it like why don’t I have self control

How do you guys avoid toxic people? Any advice at all would be much appreciated.

I am interested to know has anyone here decided not to have children because of the risk of severe OCD resulting in a terrible life? How has that experience been for you? I am going through this myself at the moment but of course my OCD makes me doubt every decision I ever make. One minute I want something, the next minute I don’t!

Why do intrusive thoughts feel so real? I sometimes fear it isn't OCD and I actually do feel/think those things and it causes me immense distress.

Anyone else stopped drinking alcohol due to false memory ocd? I’ve actually developed a huge fear of alcohol to the point where even if I only had one drink i become terrified I’d suddenly turn into a completely different person and act out on my intrusive thoughts. When drunk I would take pictures in the bathroom stalls as ‘proof’ no one was in there with me , I’d find notes on my phone the next morning saying things like ‘you’ve done nothing wrong’. I’d basically be terrified of myself…It goes on. I’m actually a very happy drunk but my ocd takes over the next morning making up crimes and convincing me I could’ve done terrible things. It’s just not worth it anymore.

I’m about to go on a trip with my partner and the last time we went my POCD flared up like crazy. I couldn’t enjoy any of our time together and he super noticed and I’m worried that I’ll ruin everything all over again. Idk I might take a journal with me to help. What do I do?

Hey everyone! I'm VERY new to this app. I'm not sure if I have OCD, but I feel like I do. I had horrible anxiety since I was a child, and I felt like I was crazy because the adults always laughed at my irrational concerns haha. I can't really afford to get diagnosed, and I'm also scared what will happen if I do. Maybe I'll get a peace of mind if I get diagnosed, but I know the OCD stereotypes that most people know. I'm afraid they will tell me I don't have it, since I'm not a super tidy, clean person and stuff. But I need answers to understand how to live myself more. What should I do? (Sorry if I said anything wrong in the post 😔🙏🏻)

I'm wondering if it's better or worse to tell your partner about your ocd thoughts, if you can be specific or if it's better to keep it vague bc it's so distressing to hear the specifics to people who are close or if they're like.. rocd threads. Mostly in the context of when they're strong or compulsions are strong.