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Anyone else just not have any friends I feel so alone and like I have nothing to do Feels like I’m just seeing everyone else do stuff and having fun with friends

Now I'm just uncomfortable around all of the same sex but some of them have become more triggers. Like with one talking to and everything was fine and then one day (with the SO-OCD this time firmly cemented in my head) I catch her looking at me in a certain way that I noticed (maybe in my head, like I'm now looking out for things), it caught me off guard and I thought why are they looking at me like that, immediately thought it was a 'come on' thing and got a groinal response and I like "no", then my mind started panicking when looking at them and now, every time there're around, I feel uncomfortable and responses go off and my brain goes "you like them don't you" and then I get an intense response that feels like an urge and my brain goes "yes" but I'm not interested in that. It feels so convincing. And in my mind it says "you're desperate for something" and it makes it worse and I don't like it. Why is it so convincing. I'm even saying this seems like denial, but I'm not in denial because I'm not but in my mind it keeps saying the opposite and makes the anxiety worse. Oh this means "I'm a le..." going through my head. It's ruining my life because it's convincing me and I'm not interested. I know it's because I'm so hyperfocused on it. Does anyone recognise this?

I don’t know if this is skin picking, or hair picking. I pick and scrape the skin off of my toes, but I also dig into my legs to pull out a hair. Just needing some advice

I kept saying .5 percent instead of .05 percent. I was thinking it was the same thing ( I know I’m stupid) now I feel like a complete total idiot. I was saying this percentage for possibility vs probability for my so-ocd on how probable it is for me to end up with a woman and I kept saying .5 instead of .05 😭😭

For four years, i thought my false memory was just a false memory and I thought that I can continue with life knowing that it's okay not to know and rely on uncertainty. But what if you caught yourself ruminating and you realize that your worst fear is true? Everything starts to become clear. Has this happened to anybody? I don't think i should be alive anymore.

How do I get rid of the massive amounts of anxiety I can’t eat, or relax. My harm OCD is torturing me along with the urges I fell with the harm OCD I will be going up on my prozac I hope it works I just want my life back starting to feel alone and depressed because of this.

I need help. I’m 16, and I’m kinda unsure with things like sex just because I don’t feel ready and idk I just don’t know. My hocd, for the past few days, has been, as normal, convincing me that I’m gay. Now, however, I’m completely confident in the fact that I like boys, but now I’m unconfident around my thoughts about sex. I’ll be honest, I don’t think of sex straight away when I like a boy, I think about being with him and different scenarios, and sex then comes later. But nowadays, I don’t know if I’ve just conditioned myself to think I want sex to prove that I’m straight, or because maybe I think if I’m not always on about sex, I must be gay, or not. I understand I’m at an age where sex is only just becoming a question and a thing I think about, and perhaps I developed hocd at the worst time where I can’t explore anything without thoughts dictating my entire mind, emotions, attractions etc. Honestly I do think I’m unsure about sex because just haven’t got a clue, but calling myself asexual gives me that massive anxiety feeling like when I’m convinced that I’m lesbian. Idk anymore if this is societal or what, since days I’m not in the mood to think about sex, like today, so that 99% convinces me. Idk. I just need someone’s help. ❤️

i saw a family member post their kid, he is super adorable and funny ive met him before. but ever since seeing that my pocd is telling me i want to hurt him and or do something to him. im really close with his mom i look up to her a lot im scared that u will find out and i will be shunned forever. I don’t want to do anything to him. but these thoughts feel so real and it feels like my body is just gonna get up and commit a crime. she is very spiritual and I go to her for advice a lot, im scared she’s gonna get bad vibes or negative intentions from me I just want to be a good person I don’t want to hurt anyone especially him :( another thing is I had a thought that he looked like my ex and he does and even looks how he looked when HE was a baby but im scared that that means im a p. I hate this :( I get groinal responses and rapid intrusive thoughts it’s so draining :(

Im feeling so anxious cause of my pocd and real events ocd based on extremely horrible childhood mistakes... Here are the facts. - I made a severe horrible mistake of a sexual nature 3 times at the age of 13. - someone told me about what the mistake was and what it meant earlier in the week before the mistakes happened... - i had no idea what the mistake even was before I learned of it, much less ever do it.... - i had forgotten about being told about the mistake and what it meant, and the severe mistakes happened later in the following days... - it never happened again and I feel extremely guilty at the age of 22. I dont ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I've asked my mom about this so many times and every time she tells me that it's not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I'm not a rapist or a P or a chomo... I was told what this word was, but I had forgotten it... I did not have full knowledge or full understanding on how horrible this mistake was... I was 13 at the time… now I’m 20… my POCD and real event OCD call me a P or a chomo because of the real events… while my mom reassures me all the time that it’s all over, that it’s not serious anymore, that the person is okay, and that I’m not a P or a rapist or a chomo, but when I was doing compulsive research, I remember when I saw a post on a non OCD forum about someone’s similar situation to mine and two people said to the person that they m*lested and that they needed  to turn themselves in… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form… i didn’t know how horrible the real events were when I was 13… I really didn’t… and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids… I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… I don't ever want to ever harm a child in any way shape or form... I seriously don't ever want to do that to any child in any way shape or form and I seriously don't ever want to do anything like that to any kid now or in the future… I never have had any fantasies about kids and I don't ever want to... I don't ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way shape or form... I was 13….. and after the real events I never did anything like that ever again, and I never once ever thought (before, and after) about doing stuff with kids in any way shape or form... I never once fantasized about kids or wanted to do anything with kids…  I was 13 and didn’t realize how horrible the actions were at the time and I never did it ever again… I never once fantasized about kids before or after the real event… And it’s comparing me to actual P’s and chomo’s who did stuff from 12-15… and making me think I’m a P and a Chomo because of it… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… 😭😭😭 and I get intrusive thoughts of people calling me a P and a chomo and me getting arrested… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo… the real events happened only 3 times and I really didn’t know how horrible it was… I don’t ever want to ever be a P or a chomo in any way… I don’t want to ever be attracted to or harm kids in any way… 😭😭😭

I’ve been suffering with pure ocd for the past 8-9 months with ups and downs, which has been impacting everything, I’ve tried my best to convince myself to identify that they’re only thoughts and don’t define me, but the fact their pure and I just have mental compulsions is so draining, I feel like I can’t take this anymore, and the doubt that comes along with it is so bad, I’ve also been on meds which haven’t helped at all, still feeling depressed and anxious all the time. Yesterday, I read how someone having was having thoughts regarding kids, I now fear that I’ll get the same which I really don’t want and now just constantly ruminating over that, im constantly just worried about my future, career and relationships as I’ve always wanted to do a lot of things in life, and the past year has been hell for me, I dunno what to do anymore? I’ve got a month till I’m seeing a private therapist, does this ever get better , I just wanna be myself again without these thoughts bothering me all the time and that feeling of having to be scared of them coming into my mind, and not having to life with the doubts. I also get thoughts of ending it all, but that’s now what I want but I feel so trapped in my own head. Please does anyone have advice, I’ve tried everything, meditation, medication, trying to convince myself it’s just my mind, but I can’t stop the worry and just accept the intrusive thoughts without feeling so distressed.

This is going to be a long post so to anyone who will read it and will share feedback, thank you. I’ve realized I’ve lost all respect for myself. When I was 14 years old I experienced my first ever intrusive thought. I was with my childhood friend whose dad passed away when we were babies. I had a thought that I hope he went to hell and if he were alive, I’d rape him. As a 14 year old kid that really scared me, and the thought still scares me to this day. I’m 22. I researched my symptoms and of course, OCD popped up. I went through many therapy sessions, and I finally got diagnosed with OCD about 2 years ago. I’ve had a really bad confessing problem that whenever I have an intrusive thought, I HAVE to confess it to people, especially if the thought is specifically about them. My childhood friends mom found out I had this thought about her dead husband and basically pushed me out of my friends life to “protect her” that if I were to ever tell her, her mom would make sure her daughter never spoke to me again. This happened about a year ago, and to this day I believe subconsciously it has stuck with me because of the fact that I made someone so uncomfortable that they had to push me out of their life. Especially since they were people who have known me since I was a baby. I’ve started using alcohol and other substances to numb this pain that I endure. My OCD has even started taking over my new relationship. He thinks I’m perfect in every way and I just can’t seem to believe that. I’ve already gotten fears that I’ve cheated on him and or will cheat on him in the future. He’s one of the most precious people I have ever met, and though I have already told him a few of my intrusive thoughts and have explained to him what I go through, I feel as though if he found out about other thoughts I’ve had that he would cut me off completely, just like other people have in the past. I can’t help but feel like a terrible person and friend for all the thoughts I’ve had. I never thought I’d be in this situation where I’m experimenting new substances and getting drunk every weekend. I’ve really failed and not sure what to do at this point. I don’t feel I deserve to be happy or take care of myself. The situation with my friends mother is a prime example.

does anyone else have this terrifying fear of being schizophrenic or a psychopath 😭 i know i am mentally stable yet i feel like im living a lie in a way. i don’t know how else to describe it and im scared im schizophrenic and making reality up?? if that makes sense.

I’ve struggled terribly with the fear of going into a psychosis or hallucinating. Sometimes I’m able to work through the fear and tell myself “if I’m hallucinating then I’m just hallucinating. It’s okay.” Or “Maybe I will go crazy.” But if I see something out of the corner of my eye or hear something I’m immediately triggered. I feel like I’m constantly seeing things out of my peripheral vision and I don’t know if I truly am hallucinating or if since I’m struggling with the fear I’m just subconsciously paying attention to the things happening around me. Has anyone else dealt with this? I’m just struggling because if I am hallucinating then I’d obviously want to be institutionalized, but I don’t know if my mind is tricking me or not. Please help if you’ve dealt with this.

Lowkey I think I’m an awful person/have felt something and gone down a weird path of thinking/way of processing information that I can never recover from morally, but I’m not panicking about it. I’ve just accepted it ig? I can’t die because that’ll hurt those I love, so I’ll just like devote my life to others in penance maybe? Just try and help others as much as I can and live for others. I know it’s like depressing to say but I’ll live for others cuz I don’t really believe I deserve to live for myself.

Im feeling so anxious cause of my pocd and real events ocd based on extremely horrible childhood mistakes... Here are the facts. - I made a severe mistake 3 times at the age of 13. - someone told me about what the mistake was and what it meant earlier in the week before the mistakes happened... - i had no idea what the mistake even was before I learned of it, much less ever do it.... - i had forgotten about being told about the mistake and what it meant, and the severe mistakes happened later in the following days... - it never happened again and I feel extremely guilty at the age of 22.

So I’m going to try and make this short. Is anyone experiencing there brain thoughts or even themselves thoughts like this “I have been through this 3 times before in my life, I know exactly how to fix it. However, I think my brain knows I’m trying to trick it with ERP or ACT therapy.” Idk, like I know exactly how to fix this episode of OCD as I have had three previous relapses in my life. However, I’m scared and terrified that my brain is just smarter than me. Like idk if this makes any sense. I’m terrified that I will never get out of this. Then when I think like this, like I start to remember everything that has happened since my first ever episode, like have always experienced these symptoms and I just ignored them? Have I always just been like this? Was I happy when I wasn’t or was experiencing this? It so hard to explain. Like I’m not scared, but I am, I’m more frustrated and annoyed, but also sad. Idk I feel like I’m losing it. I talk to myself out loud to gain some confidence, but then I question like don’t crazy people talk to themselves, but I can’t be crazy because I’m aware that I’m talking to myself. Idk I feel alone, like I’m going to be like this forever. Like I will never outsmart my brain. It’s just weird. Also not to mention like literally everything triggers me. Everything. I suffer with DP/DR, so every conversation or action I do my brain just questions everything! Literally everything. Idk what to do. Can anyone relate to this?

Anyone has experienced being hyperaware of their private parts? Like i don’t have any intrusive thoughts but when i become aware of my private parts i start feeling weird and guilty and then the thoughts begin and i start to panic and feeling overwhelmed cause i get intrusive thoughts on my sexual abuse from when i was a teenager

Recently been obsessed with the concept of free will. Are we really in control or was everything predetermined? if everything was predetermined then why am I me, why couldn’t I had been someone else who didn’t have all the problems I have.

I've been with my current therapist for 4 years. In that time, she has helped me so much and become so important to me— even was the one who helped me discover I have OCD. Within the past year, though, my OCD has returned so much worse than ever, and I feel she has done all she can for me. I want to keep seeing her, but if my insurance won't cover a second therapist, I'm prepared to part ways. Within the past month and a half specifically, i've gotten even worse than I've been. I feel like i'm losing more of myself every day. It hit me last week that it's time to get the right help. I always hear so many good things from everyone on here and other pages that OCD therapists change your life, and I'm going to try and take the steps to get started on this. I'm not sure where to begin, though. I have looked at the feature here on the app, but am not sure who to pick or how to pick. Does anyone have any advice on how to get started? Should you take your subtypes into account? Should you take anything else into account?

For some reason, my thoughts aren't bothering me as much anymore and it's scaring me. I don't want to do those things, but why aren't they bother my? is this a good or bad thing?