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I don't understand how I could orgasm to testing myself...more than once. I haven't tested myself via masturbation after that happened because I'm terrified obviously, but how could that happen to me? Does it mean anything? I orgasmed very quickly does that mean it was a stress response? Please help

i dont know exactly what i’m feeling. i know ocd isn’t logical and trying to get to the core of it is hard, but i think what terrifies me is that i (everyone for that matter) have the potential to do horrible things. to stop loving my parents, to hurt my little sister, to hurt myself, and that i’m just resisting the urge to do so. my ocd used to be one theme pocd and incest ocd and for some reason i’ve managed to dismiss the thoughts easier but i’m tired of being in my head all the time, i’m tired of my brain not shutting up. do you guys have any tips to help me?

I feel a lot of shame for ever having watched porn in the past, I have moral scrupulosity OCD, and my thoughts are always like "what if you're a bad person because you watched porn in the past because good moral people dont watch porn?" I havent watched porn in a year and I avoid it like the plague. I know its normal for most people to have experienced porn at some point in their lives. Idk how to get over these thoughts, it feels like noone understands me or my type of intrusive thoughts :(

My hocd revolves around porn. As I've seen same sex porn before, and have been aroused by it, it works as a proof to my hocd. It's it main weapon. It's awful that I get this urge to watch it, it's as if I HAVE to do it, or it won't leave me alone. I feel gross, I'm never mentally turned on, but my body responds to it. I'm terrified that I'm sexually attracted to women, even if I don't want to. I don't want to be with them, I feel awful. As I'm doing in my recent posts, I'll ask you to be mindful of your answer. This is hocd, I hope so, and I'm already triggered enough.

Really struggle to understand why this happened to me in the middle of such a good relationship.

Hi guys, I'm newly diagnosed and my themes change constantly. Most of my compulsions or rituals are mental. I don't really know how to help myself here because I've yet to find a specialist in my city that takes my health insurance. I've done some research online and I understand that I need to do ERP, I'm just not sure how to do that on my own or if I'd be doing it correctly. Anyways, I do want to talk about something that happened to me last night and has now been triggering me all day.. I was at my parents house last night and they have a neighbor directly across from their backyard that comes over and speaks to them sometimes. She's an older woman in her 80s. She lives with her son, his wife and their 15 year old daughter. I've spoke to this woman several times but not the others.. anyways, last night while I was at my parents we had all noticed police, fire trucks and ambulances over at their house. It was a complete mess, so many people. Immediately we all thought something was wrong with the old woman until she came outside with the granddaughter.. she was fine.. then the husband came out and he was freaking out..more paramedics ran inside.. we then realized something was wrong with the wife. An hour went by and everyone left so we thought everything was okay, that was until more cops came. I was standing in my parents kitchen , it was pitch black outside and I realized I had seen two people walking towards the back door. It ended up being the older woman. I walked outside toward her and I asked her if she was ok and if everyone was alright. She looked at me with terror in her eyes and said that Karen, her daughter in law was gone. I gasped and didn't know what to say..I hugged her and as my parents walked outside we all asked what happened and if we could do anything for her. She said they weren't sure what happened. She was sleeping and didn't respond when they tried to wake her. She also said Karen was depressed and last week went and got put on medication. Corners were coming to do autopsy and everything and that she'd tell us when she knew more. By the way she said this, it made me wonder if Karen took all her pills and killed herself. I'm haunted by the entire night, the thought of what if she killed herself and the look on the old lady's face when I went out to talk to her. I'm not even sure if it's ok to talk about this because I'm not sure if I talk about things that I'm obsessing over, if it ends up doing me any good. All I know is that the thought of her possibly killing herself has me very triggered because I've had suicidal thoughts. I've been fighting my brain over if I want to take medicine to help myself with my OCD and now, I know 100% I don't want to touch the stuff. I guess I'm coming here to not ask for reassurance but to ask for help on how to properly do some sort of ERP or whatver the case may be to stop obsessing over this night . I know I can't get rid of the thoughts but how do I properly respond? I can't stop thinking about it. And it triggered me wanting to harm myself and I know I never would but of course the intrusive thoughts of wanting to, scare me to death so I've been obsessing all day long. Please, someone point me in the right direction. I appreciate you for taking time to read all of this.

Does anyone else ever have obsessions about death and the afterlife? This is something I’ve struggled with on and off for years but I can’t seem to make these thoughts go away because my ocd is telling me this is a real fear and there’s no counter thought to act as the compulsion for it because it’s the unknown and that really freaks me out

Anyone with HOCD ever get stuck on a friend and think you are in love with them? Then it might calm down but the thoughts are “you really like them” or something else that makes you think you are in love with them?

Any body here with transgender ocd that evolved from from hocd, and now they are intertwined. Is really amazing how our brains works, my brain went from hocd to harm ocd to pedohile ocd to relationships ocd and now transgender ocd. And the heart of the matter is that I don’t care what it is no more, fuck reassurance and I’m not going to play ocd games anymore, if it says I’m a woman or female, I guess I might be or might not. Honestly, half of the time I’m happy that I’m unsure about my gender andthe anxiety swells up. That way I can let thought be and see the whole picture of thoughts even if they were true. I honestly don’t know if they are true or not but I will live with it and live according to my values. Btw I was triggered while I wrote, I hope I stay triggered ?????.

Why is my genital area tingling? Sorry to anyone for TMI. I'm not aroused at all I don't even think about anything sexual when its happening. I'm actually pretty upset. Because I'm not attracted to underage boys. But my mind is trying to convince me that I am. How do I make it go away. It comes and goes randomly but I just want that feeling gone. Its disgusting because it's happening at all of the wrong times. These intrusive thoughts spiked from my fiance's nephew. Dose anyone know how this will end when I tell him? I'm scared. Why is this happening to me? This is a nightmare.

I’m feeling pretty isolated because of my obsessions, I’m having a hard time making connections, any suggestions for small steps?

Triggering for contamination ocd potentially. I just googled something bout therapy and the site gave me an example of a contamination thought that triggered me. "What if someone with aids and bleeding hands touched it". Can anyone help me through this?

Does anyone else have a ocd where they constantly have to redo something over? Or something has to be right like the right thoughts? I am wasting money and time because of this and depressed out of my mind. I cant even get out of bed and get dress because all I think is bad things as I do something and have to redo everything over. I have bought things and trashed them just because of the thought I had as I got it.

Sooooooo omg my mom mentioned that she saw a show on televisopn where people with weird mental ilnesses spoke and she mentioned that there was someone with hocd and how she thought it was weird but she thought in this generation she doesnt blame people for having it because it isnt their own fault and there is alot of pressure on your sexuality and omg i got sooo red and i felt like i was gonna burst out in tears and tell them everyything i was sooo close to just break and tell them what ive been going trough for the past year. Im so freaked out and like... i jusr wanna tell them but im ashamed and i know i will n e v e r tell them but i cant believe i got this close. And i just dont know what to do bevause on the show the doctor said a looot of people approached him with having hocd and that its really a new big mental ilness thing. You know what it is, my mom said that the man on the show who had hocd said he wasnt in to guys at all but his brain told him he liked it and that was me in the ebginning of hocd but now i have a feeling i cant relate anymore and that hurts so much because its like hocd has gotten so deep into me that i honestly believe it and like i created genuine feelings towards woman. I dont know what to think anymroe. I pray everynight god will Release me and somehow i feel like this is my punishment for not listenig to Him and i also todsy read in the bible That people who ignore god do things wrong when it comes to sexual stuff and that people wont be able to think clear anymore and that they will be lost and thats just me and im So afraid because the bible says people will be punished for it idk im so freaked out!!!! I wanna be a better person so bad but i cant when my brain is like this i need help from god but im scared he just rejects me vecause ive been a horrrible person. So selfish and i know my heart is ebtter than that but i cant set good apart from bad bevause my brain wont let me. Its like i dont give a shit about anyhting anymore and i miss me who could think clear and who was genuine and honored god. Its like ny current brain cant do that snymore it doesnt have the right functions for it anymorw. Like the good part in me had been cut out and im tryna find it but its destroyed and theres no way it will come back.

I took an online quiz about if I’m straight or in denial and the results came out as gay/bi. I guess it’s time to accept it, despite not feeling it ??‍♀️

how do you get out of your ROCD thoughts when your being intimate with your husband/bf? I recently discovered I have ROCD and while it finally feels like I finally have an answer to why I question my relationship/my love for my husband all the time, I don’t know how to get out of my head when I’m being intimate with him...I’m constantly analyzing when we kiss ‘did I feel a spark?’ And ‘why am I not able to get turned on?’ Or ‘why does having sex give me anxiety?’ I’m struggling so much with this and sometimes I feel sorry for my husband that he married someone like me ?

So I officially have to go on anti depressants because my ocd is getting so bad that it is causing all my hair to fall out.

this is gonna be a dumb post. i know that i sometimes obsess about things that terrify me, but i don't know if i'm being reasonable or anxious for no reason. i'm 21, female, and i really enjoy drinking. when i drink, a majority of times i drink too much, and i'm conscious of it, but in my mind i'm like i just wanna have fun and let go? i'm scared i will become an alcoholic. today after i drank and threw up (it wasn't super bad, i have a thing where if my stomach is super full i'll throw up because i hate the feeling. not healthy, i know) so a lot of times when i drink, my stomach is full of liquid, and i think "i gotta get this stuff outta here." so anyways that's what i did tonight, ate a lot and drank a lot (5 shots, maybe that's not a lot to some people and maybe that's way too much to others) and threw it up. my sister said hey, maybe cut down on the drinking so you don't throw up so much. (i do it like 2-3 times a month on the high end, once a month on the low end.) but now i'm thinking like oh my god?? this is probably a sign of drinking too much, when someone close to you comments on it? and if i myself think i drink too much then that's probably also a sign???? but at the same time i don't think i drink a ton compared to others my age at my university, or maybe i do?? and i'm wondering if it's just a college thing like oh i'm 21, i can drink or if it's a serious problems!? i've taken online tests and worst results i've gotten were saying i could have a mild drinking problem, and i'm guessing that's because of binge drinking. alcohol doesn't disrupt my daily life, school, or work, i don't drink the first thing in the morning, i've never blacked out, the worst i've done is thrown up multiple times from over drinking? and i'm super scared i'm an alcoholic or turning into one. i know the simple answer is don't drink. but i like it and i don't think realistically i'll stop

Does your hocd bring back past memories and tell you you are gay because of what happened

I’m pretty sure I have ROCD (however I often heavily doubt this which makes my guilt increase lots, and believe that I’m just ‘using’ mental illness as an excuse). I know that I absolutely adore my husband. He is the best person I know. I can’t stop the thoughts, the horrible ones about his features, the awful ones telling me I need to leave him. I often google stuff, do relationship quizzes and read articles about ROCD to reduce my anxiety. I mentally check how I’m feeling about him. It is really getting me down to the point where I’m having panic attacks and am very tearful. I saw a counsellor a few months ago who diagnosed with me generalised anxiety, but I still really think I have OCD. I guess I just want to talk to other people experiencing the same stuff? I