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For someone looking for more hope today

I really don’t like it when OCD ruins excitement. Excitement is usually a rare feeling for me , but it feels like I’m walking on ice, trying not to let ocd “ruin” my excitement. 🙃

i’ve had a pretty good day after my harm thoughts relapse. however, i still will get this feeling of dread and state of panic when the thoughts try and take over my mind. i was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and it hit me hard for a minute, but now i’m okay. i just keep thinking about last summer and how i REALLY do not want to repeat that. i want to have a good summer. i don’t have a therapist and am not able to get one at the moment. i’m not even diagnosed and trying to get my mom to get me a call on here is not looking good. so i need advice on how manage that feeling because when i feel it coming on, i start to think about what if those thoughts, urges, and feelings will be my life for forever. that makes it so much harder to try and sit in the discomfort and let my thoughts just be thoughts while still proceeding on with my life.

has anyone else ever been so weighed down and exhausted by your own thoughts that you just break down and feel like everything is falling apart? i worry a lot about being poisoned or having an illness and today has been especially hard, not sure what to do anymore because i feel as if i have tried everything to stop the thoughts or distract them and nothing works anymore, really wanting some help 🫶🏼

There's no other way to explain it but it feels like I'm on the edge of losing my mind. I've been struggling for the past month a lot and my biggest fear now is schizophrenia. And every day it feels like I'm waiting to get it. I'm waiting to start hallucinations or psychosis to come. Obviously I don't want that at all I would do anything for that not to happen but because I'm so scared it feels like any second it could happen and like I'm waiting for it. Like I'm listening to music and I'm afraid I'm gonna hear something that isn't there. Or even looking around I'm afraid to see something that isn't there. I'm trying really hard to let the fear be, let the thoughts come, say maybe maybe not, try to not figure it out. But it's not helping I'm more and more scared and tired every day

I got engaged in December and will be marrying my best friend next year. We've been together a little over five years, and I know he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. However, my SO-OCD and ROCD are making it very hard to enjoy my engagement. I seem to be triggered by everything, but it's especially bad this month. I'm so sad because this didn't start until I watched the bathroom coming-out scene from Stranger Things in 2022 and fell down this rabbit hole. I don't know what to do because the thought of being with a woman literally gives me nightmares, but the thoughts are still there and are so loud. I just want to enjoy my life with my soon-to-be husband, but this is making it so hard.

I’ve only been in ERP therapy for a few weeks. Recently I feel frustrated like it’s not working. I know I probably need to give it more time and that it may take quite a while but I’m looking for advice here. My therapist is doing a good job but I feel like I need to be doing different exposures. Right now we’re working on things more specific for someone with triggers like putting a belt around my neck, holding my gun in my lap all while saying I’m going to kill myself or I’m going to shoot myself. I don’t have specific triggers though. Mine are more mental and I feel like I need exposures that are going to help me because I constantly say “I’m going to kill myself” or just “kill myself.” Does this make sense?

Can anyone give me any tips on how to stop seeking reassurance. Once I start I can’t stop

I have been taking Clomipramine for over 2 months now, starting at 25 mg and titrating up to the maximum of 225 mg (of which I have been taking for 2 weeks now). I still do not feel any benefits as my OCD is still as strong as ever. I was wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences with clomipramine where it just took longer to get working. I should mention I am also doing ERP with NOCD as well. I had tried Fluvoxamine and Paroxetine prior to Clomipramine, both of which resulted in side effects that I could not managed. However, with Clomipramine, I have minimal side effects so I’m willing to stick it out. Any input is greatly appreciated.

is reading through posts to find someone to relate to in regards of a symptom a compulsion? i do that all of the time because i feel like an outcast even though i’m not diagnosed. i literally feel like i won’t get diagnosed, but instead i’m just using ocd as a way to deny who i really am. another thought i’ve been having is what if i have anxiety because i can’t act on it instead of because i’m scared i will act on it? i typically relate my feelings to all of this too and it feels like i want to everytime i think about it. however i’ve never done anything remotely harmful. i actually am staying with my sister for the week hoping it will help the thoughts and alleviate them since i’m more isolated. and no matter how much proof there is or how much i remind myself of who i was before this that i’m not this person, the urges and feeling like i genuinely want to i get when the thoughts come just overrides everything.

Like an hour ago I posted that I had an involuntary hand movement the exact same time that my brother walked by at my side (my hand didn’t touch him or anything it just moved) , and since I was looking for reassurance nocd marked my post as that, but I’m scared of me being misinterpreted, because I forgot mentioning that my hand DID NOT touched anything , it just moved, but I’m ruminating about people misunderstanding my post and thinking that I did something that I don’t and I feel so anxious right now 😭

is it normal to hear stomach noises after every time i drink water - can hearing these noises be avoided

ever since my rocd started nothing w my bf has felt the same. i constantly overthink my feelings and if ive lost feelings or if ive just lost the spark and am unable to regain it. sometimes i look back at old texts and pictures and remember how it used to make me feel when i didnt struggle with my rocd and i cant even resonate w that feeling anymore despite wanting to so badly. of course i do not want to lose feelings and any indication that i do feels like the end of the world to me. but every single day i continue to fixate on trying to feel something genuine in the moment or just how i feel about him overall and i can't feel what i want to feel which simply continues my ocd cycle. it makes me notice other people too who i dont even want to notice and i cant tell how much of it is ocd bcs some of it feels like it comes before my ocd thoughts hit. and even on my best days when i'm not struggling it's still there and whatever i do feel, i think it's forced or not the same. i want some hope that i'll eventually be able to go back to how i used to be or that it'll start to feel gwnuine and like the butterfly inducing crush i used to have on him all the time. can someone please give me some advice i'm losing hope and i'm having a severe episode :(

I need to move out. I need to leave. I want to get an apartment. I'm home from college and am trying to make money. I don't have enough to move out. My parents don't tolerate me standing up to them, they want to keep me a child locked up in a tower. I'm trying to get a second job and no places are responding to me. So no money to fly the coop. Oh my gosh, I can't do this anymore, I'm at the end of my rope, I hate my parents so much. I FEEL SO TRAPPED

Can’t even look for jobs or consider any type of job that has anything to do with being around kids, my brain just tells me I want to work there for a bad reason, the thoughts feel so real, it tells me that I am a P. I just want to be normal. I can’t even look at myself, I just feel like there’s something off about me, and that I’m a bad person.

im just really confused right now, i wash my hands dozens of times everyday but my dad just calls me a germaphobe. I had a really bad episode earlier were i came back from the bus and i felt sooo dirty but i couldnt take a shower cause my parents would get mad. I washed my hands for atleast 10 minutes and after that i had to wear gloves. Am i just a germaphobe? Or is this OCD….(not seeking reassurance btw just wondering what you guys think)

Hello!

I was so good for such a long time. I felt like I truly had a handle on things and everything was going well. Moved to a new city recently and now OCD moved with me and is taking up even more space. Being alone is hard enough! It makes me so angry that on top of the stress of readjusting to a new place, I’m having to fight off these thoughts and feelings like a wildfire. Leave me alone! I hate it. I was so happy. The world I lived in was great. Now everywhere I go I’m convinced that everyone despises me or I’m covered in diseases or whatever the hell it is at that given moment. It’s got me in this box because I feel like I can’t say anything to anyone without asking for reassurance. Now I am just filled with a burning frustration nonstop. Anger isn’t an emotion I usually experience as a result of ocd but I’ve had it. It’s so so so annoying damnit

18+ please! Sorry if this inappropriate. Does anyone else deal with the consequences of having consumed pornography and has ocd? Can you tell me if you also have a lot of intrusive thoughts during sexual activity? I'm not proud to say that I had access to this type of content at a young age and it grew with me until the first years of my adult life. I only became aware of the extent of the damage when I received my ocd diagnosis and even though my therapist and I believe that I have had ocd since childhood, addiction to pornography was an important factor in making the disorder worse since I suffer from graphic images and sexual content intrusive thoughts I've been trying to learn how to have a good relationship with my sexuality without using pornography for a few months, but it's not always easy to use my imagination when I have some tabs open in my head that get in my way. I really can't and don't want to have access to any type of adult content anymore, but I always think it's easier to be able to "silence" intrusive thoughts. It's happened several times where I try to use my imagination and then I have an intrusive thought and I think I stimulated myself by thinking about it and it's just disgusting and I feel really bad. I've been trying to deal with this for months and with medical help for both problems, I really feel dirty and lost about it and I don't know how to make it stop. I spent days avoiding even thinking about anything sexual so I wouldn't have to deal with it, but my therapist said that this is also unhealthy and can become a compulsion, so I don't know what to do. Anyone who goes through/has gone through something similar?