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the NOCD Community

Hi friends! Has anyone actually beat this disease once and for all? What’s your best hack or secret? ❤️

I keep getting thoughts like ‘what happens if it isn’t OCD’. Recently I keep getting random thoughts that pop into my head that happened YEARS ago that somehow ‘prove my ocd wrong and that i am gay’, these are memories that i haven’t thought about for years and when i did i didn’t think anything of them because i didn’t think that it proved i was gay because that never crossed my mind but now my mind is making into this whole thing and it’s like proof that it’s real. I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD or anything so this constant doubt is debilitating. How do you know if it’s OCD? I do have history of repetitive behaviours as a child but not fully fledged OCD but in the last couple of years this obsession that i might be gay has been debilitating. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this. I just want to enjoy life without a constant voice in my head.

Hey everyone! I just have a quick question regarding this specific part of OCD recovery. I have seen a lot of people say “learn to move towards our values” after experiencing intrusive thoughts, images, urges, sensations etc.. I do not seem to understand what this means, as I know that OCD targets our values and makes them seem that they are not. But what is meant by moving towards our values?

Hi everyone, I have a question for anyone else with ROCD. I recently established, with the help of my therapist, that I need to stop talking about my intrusive thoughts to my husband so much, because I’m just ruminating out loud. Do you all even tell your partners when you’re struggling, or do you keep it to yourselves?

Today I have been having an okay day. Nothing too bad has happened till I started to get into a deep thought. I started to think about when I was younger. Everything was fine till I started to think about something that happened when I was little( I was about 10). I did something really bad and I haven’t thought about it for awhile. During this moment In my life I did something really disgusting. Now I feel disgusted and uncomfortable, but idk why I did it. It definitely has triggered my OCD. Now I’m scared. I hope I was just a kid who didn’t understand what they were doing. My anxiety is so bad right now.

My rocd is more partner focused, my partner has made a handful of mistakes that have hurt me/made me lose some trust (not cheating though) My ocd picks up on lots of new things to worry about, but when there isn’t something new to worry about it allllways goes back to this handful of things my partner has done and I ruminate despite having a lot of answers. Maybe it is because of the uncertainty that I don’t know every little detail? A lot of the reason I think my ocd comes back to latch onto this handful of things is OTHER PEOPLES opinions. Like I’ll see in a comment section “this is a red flag” “leave if they do this” “you cannot trust them ever if they lie” etc. and my ocd likes to bully me with these sort of comments and play them in my head so I panic/ruminate. Is constantly going back and fourth with this handful of things my partner has done a sign of my ocd attacking me because of the uncertainty? And is it blowing it out of proportion? I try and tell myself that no relationship would exist if there wasn’t making mistakes/ doing things wrong & forgiveness. If everyone left from a handful of mistakes big or small there would be no long term relationships is that true?

Have had it since I was a kid, barricading my closet doors to prevent monsters from getting out, to relationship OCD that destroyed 1 relationship, to fear of disease, to driving OCD. Pretty much anything to do with uncertainty will trigger anxiety. Sometimes the way the sun sets, or how rooms are lit, to certain colors, and even sounds will trigger anxiety for no reason at all. Im a big energy drink person, and that does not help, especially if you’re in a weak point in OCD, so caffeine and stimulants not good. Warning l!! Alcohol will temporarily help, but if you are an alcoholic like i am, it can ruin your life and make OCD 10x worse. Going through withdrawal is like OCD anxiety x1000. Almost 4 years sober now but I can tell you there is light… If its not happening right in front of your face, it’s not real, and it’s OCD! In hindsight 98% of my themes were never true, or the odds of it happening were .00001. ERP is the way out. It takes a lot of courage but it will pay off.

Im so sick and tired of wasting my life on pointless intrusive thoughts and obsessions this stuff is stupid borderline ridiculous. I have an obsession about trash on the ground can you believe that nonsense this is time wasted that can be for spending time with family and friends living !! I refuse to waste anymore time. I know this isnt going away right away but imma fight it with all my might !!

Another kid in the neighborhood when I was 5, would molest me. I didn't like it. I went along with it. Laughed it off. When I did tell this kid that I didn't want to do that anymore, that she would get snide and insulting and this would go on all day as my mom watched this kid everyday after school. This kid was in the space where a best friend would be. They weren't a friend. Still, as much ss I didn't want her in my life, I would simultaneously worry about her not being my friend anymore, or about her turning other kids against me and I would act out in frightened ways. Telling the other kids not to listen to her. That she liked to say mean things about me. Then I'd freak out that she would find out that I told them that and so I'd try to cover my tracks by saying to her that those kids say things that aren't true. I felt like a sleazy liar, as I was. I was a coward and handled it all horribly. However, when I was with a friend that had nothing to do with her, I was a completely different person. No worries. Just a nice time spent together. However, she sabotaged that friendship by making me feel sorry for her as she wanted to be the other one's friend and I was made to feel guilty about being the other one's friend. That ended horribly. As I grew up I felt very distrusting and paranoid of any romantic relationship and paranoid of other close friend relationships being destroyed. My worst time with OCD was as an adolescent and when my mom was very ill. That's when I had horrible visions and fears of causing harm by just doing simple things. For exampl, if I step on that crack my whole family will go to hell, so I'd have to avoid the cracks even the lines around tiles. Or if I don't humiliate myself right now by for example, raising my hand in class for no reason, or worse humiliation the same thing will happen. Those things lightened up as my mother got better and adolescents passed. However it lingers. It gets in the way of what could be a much better life for myself and my loved ones. I wonder if my OCD was brought on by the situation with the kid my mom watched every day.

I feel like I should confess my intrusive thoughts to my family. And when I will have a partner I think I should tell them constantly

The last few days I have felt amazing! No ruminating! Today out of no where… it came back!!! Why?

I’ve reached a point in existential ocd and “fear-of-psychosis-ocd” where I have a hard time believing in anything anymore. I have no more reassurance, I have no more logic to give this disease, it’s eaten up everything I have. Like when something scientific is explained to me it just feels so fake, almost like a lie or something. I used to be really bummed out about how meaningless everything is, like how we are just a floating rock in space and we are all just products of biology and science… but now I feel like I don’t even believe that! I’m just so suspicious of everything, nothing feels right anymore, nothing feels genuine or real. Whenever I watch the news, media, politics etc it all seems like a big act, or like an illusion. Even when I’m just looking at my cats or another person, im having weird thoughts running through my head like “well if nothing/nobody else is real, then what are they?” “Is everything some sort of government simulation?” “Something is wrong here” Etc. I can’t take anything seriously anymore, I used to LOVE history and science videos/documentaries but now I can’t even take them seriously because of these thoughts. I really really hate these thoughts and I try and fight with myself all day as to why I feel like this and try and logic my way out of these feelings but it just doesn’t work, no matter how many reasons I come up with for why I shouldn’t believe these thoughts, my brain will find a way to make me second guess it and not believe the reasoning. Even if i was shown undeniable evidence that the world is indeed real or whatever else my thoughts like to attack… I feel like I still wouldn’t believe them. What’s wrong with me? I don’t want to be delusional.

(Long post of celebration!) When I first began therapy at the end of 2023, the darkness was so thick and heavy that hope and brighter days felt like a sham, a lie. I couldn’t understand how the darkness got so dark. I went from occasionally wrestling with compulsions that I thought were personality quirks to full-blown intrusive thought spirals that I couldn’t free myself from. I was undiagnosed and fighting for my life not realizing that one OCD theme morphed into another then another to the point where I was a walking fear bomb on edge about every thing and person that crossed my path. The hormonal shifts of pregnancy and giving birth only made things worse. Postpartum depression + undiagnosed OCD. Whew! I was supposed to be happy in the sunshine after we had our miracle baby, but darkness. Feeling low only made me feel worse. Intrusive thoughts made me feel undeserving of my Faith, marriage, family, home, and career. After fake-smiling my way through Thanksgiving, I decided I had to do something. Finally, after taking note of my symptoms and wondering if I had OCD, I made the call to NOCD with tears in my eyes saying that I need help. “I think I have OCD, and I can’t live like this anymore.” Treatment began. It was painful to speak the unspeakable thoughts and fears. I remember my therapist saying that while it doesn’t feel surmountable, ERP will help. She said things would get better if I trusted the process and committed. That felt like a lie back in Dec. 2023…I’m so glad feelings aren’t facts! My NOCD therapist was right. Her specialized treatment + finally being braced enough to attend support groups changed everything. I committed to the process, and the darkness lifted in small spurts. Sunlight broke through my perspective little by little, moment by moment, day by day dismantling one compulsion, obsession, and fear at a time. The healing hasn’t been sudden or easy. In fact, it hurts at times because confronting fear sucks! But, it’s so worth it. Thank You, God, for making NOCD part of my healing journey. Even when it’s ugly, my OCD survivors, trust the process.

Hi all. I really need some rational advice here. About a year and a half ago, I went out to karaoke with a group of friends. At one point, I passed one of my male friends in the hallway on the way to the bathroom. I was getting out of the bathroom as he was waiting to go in. I remember I felt anxious and guilty that night as I walked back to the karaoke room. I had intrusive thoughts even at the time that I had made out with him. I remember feeling anxious and ruminating on the scenario. I probably even imagined it happening at the time. I remember it lingered a bit and then I started feeling anxious about something entirely different and then I never thought about it again (despite the fact that I had cheating OCD pop up many times since then). For the past 3 weeks this thought has not left my brain and I am dealing with constant anxiety all day every day. I am fairly certain that this did not happen, but the image of it happening is so strongly burned into my brain that it feels like a real memory. I am about to go on a trip with my partner and I really don’t want the constant anxiety to ruin it. I know seeking reassurance is bad, but I also know for a fact that I would feel 100% reassured and that I wouldn’t bring it up again if I just texted the guy and got confirmation from him that nothing happened. I know my own brain and I know that this would squash all the anxiety. I know it would look weird and creepy, but do you guys think it might be worth it to just give a quick description of my OCD and just ask for a bit of reassurance that nothing happened that night?

Does anyone struggle with thouhts that make them question if they’re actually~ a believer in God. Or question if they actually love God? Does anyone battle with these thoughts that make it hard sometimes to feel~ close to God? Even though you know He is REAL.

Hello! My partner and I are in the midst of moving to another state next month- and change can be a big trigger for me. What if things don’t work out? What if I am making a mistake? It’s also bringing up some ROCD around my partner and I am seeing myself becoming more irritated with my partner. I am worried that this means I need to break up with him and shouldn’t move- or if this is just OCD and my annoyances are normal. Need some perspective!

Please share some tricks how to reduce the intrusive thoughts.I really cannot afford a therapist right now, so please share some things your therapists have told you to do

Ok so I'm 21 and turn 22 in August. Btw this might be a lil bit of a read but it'll be nice tho. So I have diagnosed Anxiety, CPTSD, and Bipolar 1 disorder. About a month and like 2 weeks ago I started having some really taboo intrusive thoughts. I've always been highly aware of myself and so searched up "Sexual intrusive thoughts" on Google. No wait before that I searched if intrusive thoughts were a symptom of Bipolar disorder. I came across a lot of articles about Bipolar OCD comorbidity. Basically a lot of people with bipolar are more likely to have OCD. I was like "wait what?? OCD?!? On whooooo??" Mind you I was thinking of the stereotypical OCD you see in movies. I was just thinking I don't have that so how? So in one of these articles it talked about the types of intrusive thoughts people with Bipolar OCD comorbidity can have and one of them were sexual and religious intrusive thoughts. I was blown away. I then searched "Sexual intrusive thoughts" on Google and realized holy shit I have OCD..oofie. I then went down the worm hole of obsessively searching all things OCD (which lol I found out was a compulsion searching and all) and realized I've had OCD for a while. Since I was a small tot for real for real. I've always had Pure OCD, but realized I have contamination OCD when it comes to being in and out of the shower, I used to but not anymore would always check if the stove switches were off. I've always thought about harm coming to my family and myself and would think up entire scenarios in my head for literally no reason. I obsessively think to the point where it physically tires me out. I get severe anxiety and literally will lose my asshole from just thinking to much. I've seen a lot of people comparing it to being trapped in your own head and it exactly how I feel. The things I hear, and see tend to trigger intrusive thoughts for me but especially the things I hear. I always thought noise cancelation headphones were for those with Autism but I find myself wishing I had a pair these days. I usually use music to drown out my thoughts and take me away from the world but once I stop listening all the thinking and thoughts come flooding back and I'm once again trapped in my own head. So yea idk. That's my sitch of a wation. If you relate or have feedback drop a comment. Also like share and sub to my YouTube channel. Hahaha nah jk I don't have a YouTube channel 😂 TL/Dr have a bunch of other mental stuff just realized I may have had OCD for the longest.

Hey everyone! I’m new here. I recently was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety, Depression and OCD ( Mixed obsessional Thoughts and Acts). I always knew something was wrong since I was younger. I was afraid to die by a natural disaster and obsessed with the weather. I remember being terrified that I had Cancer and my mom had to take me to the doctor several times and the doctor ran tests on me to prove I was okay. Over the past few years, my anxiety and worry has skyrocketed. Recently, I’ve had so much worry that sent me into a rabbit hole of googling and finding answers for my random thoughts. I worry so much that I’ve done something wrong or hurt someone. I will worry about one thing, let it go and worry about something else. Some of my thoughts keep me in the house. I recently started therapy and it has been helpful.

Anyone else with SOOCD struggle with seeing an attractive person of the same sex? When I notice they are attractive I started getting shaky and nervous, and I’m scared that what if that means I’m attracted to them because they are an attractive person. Any tips?