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What are some ways you cope or things you feel are helpful?

I recently was diagnosed with postpartum ocd/ depression/ anxiety it’s by far the hardest thing I ever had. As an adolescent I struggled with depression/anxiety/ & self harm I didn’t realize back then that self harm was a compulsion for me. Anyway recently ocd has been attacking my baby along with my loved ones or even strangers. I feel horrible about it & feel insane I have panic attacks very often. I do my best to remind myself it’s ocd not me. I am genuinely the kind of person that is disturbed by road kill & cry over new all the time. I didn’t have these intrusive thoughts until my baby was 4 months (he’s now 6 months) because of a stupid true crime case & then it spiraled. I believe the only reason it’s doing all this is to have me feel like I am a villain & evil. It causes me to wonder if I have psychosis (like my mind purposely thinks the worst to try to convince me of psychosis) I am aware that’s not how it works. I am doing everything possible to overcome this sadly my insurance is Medicaid & it doesn’t work on here to find a OCD specialist. I move in 10 days to a new state & my insurance will be cut off for some time. I recently started Zoloft so I’m hoping it helps me until then. I want hope from other moms that have gone through similar experiences… this feels so exhausting & endless I wasn’t like this a few months ago. All I do is pray for things to get better I read the Bible to ease my heart & try to trust God that this to shall pass.

I feel disgusted saying this, but I think my ocd attacks younger kids that look pretty or something (not attractive),, and it makes me feel attracted, even saying this makes me feel like a pred, and I feel really grossed out, I feel like a bad person for even suggesting such a thing and I’m spiraling. Please help…

Hi there I talk about religion (but I'm not trying to force it down anyone's throat) So my main event (which is the one that truly bothers me) happened in 2015 when I was 14. I won't go into any details or anything. I will say that it got so bad once that I almost committed something detrimental to my health earlier this year. Not long after that I spoke to a doctor and basically confessed what's been happening to my brain and my mistakes, he mentioned things that really resonated with me, I'll paraphrase a bit: "Okay, so what you did was not good but it's not something to condemn yourself for. It falls into the grey area, you've apologized and have been forgiven (even though I apologized over text, which comes across cowardly)but it seems that you haven't forgiven yourself. There's a whole lot of difference between you at 14 and you at 23. Try to have some perspective." This really helped and it still does, but unfortunately ocd tries to find a way around this. I'll get a thought of "oh but you forgot to mention that other part of the event" and it magnifies it. Can anyone relate? I've done everything but fully move on because I sometimes feel like I don't deserve to move on. And I'm still worried over the future.

It’s 3am and I’m not doing well. I’m having an overwhelming amount of anxiety. I need to feel mentally clean but I’m dirty. I’ve had bad thoughts and I’m ashamed. I feel like I can’t even write it down. I want to say it aloud to someone but my wife is sleeping right next to me so doing a therapy call would be impossible. I’m feeling helpless. And so guilty for my thoughts.

TW: toilets, guilt, water, local idiot complains that her toilet isn't flushing properly and it causes her mental pain Hi everyone. For many years I have been struggling with contamination OCD. The worst trigger for me is stuff involving toilets and water/water droplets. I hate using toilets so much, especially public automatic flushing ones because of the fear of sitting in toilet water droplets and the dreaded toilet plume. Toilets in general disgust me so much. The last time I used a public bathroom, I felt like I couldn't use my home bathroom or touch anything at home until I took a shower and washed everything. I feel very embarrassed and guilty because I spend so much money washing myself and using so much soap and water. I recently moved into a new place that I will be staying in for many years due to my personal and financial situation, and the toilet used to always flush and leave little water droplets on the seat where I sit after, even with the lid closed. I have found a way to reduce this from happening but it's 50/50 whether or not I will see water on the seat every time I flush. I always open the lid and check the seat if the toilet to see if there are water droplets. If there are, I have to spend so much time cleaning the toilet with soap, then disinfectant, and then wiping it down and flushing it again until I get a "clean flush." I feel so awful and ashamed because I finally have my own bathroom after sharing one with my parents that I was constantly cleaning, giving me more stress, but now I still feel like it isn't good enough because I am still stuck in this stupid loop. I have homework to do why am I stressing over a toilet?! Now I keep a spray bottle of soapy water on the bathroom counter to spray and clean but this is also something that bothers me because the OCD tells me that it isn't enough and that the toilet is going to break or something. On the same note of toilets, I also have a lot of triggers regarding water droplets (not showering but like the water that drops off and bounces around I'm not sure how to explain it all) touching my feet, legs, other parts of me. All this mixed with my awful toilet related OCD has cost me so much soap, water, and time. Sorry if this is really weird and tmi and if I sound like a total brat or something. I wonder if anyone else goes through this and how they deal with it. My school counselor once told me that I can wait for the triggers to pass through or something like that, but that takes many hours and I need to clean so that I can sleep I am losing my mind gah

I feel like my rocd is flaring back up. Me and my boyfriend are in college and we’ve been saying for over 5 years now. We started dating in the beginning of high school and now sophomores in college. we’re 5 hrs apart and we don’t have much to talk about we know each others schedules and it’s pretty much the same. I get really anxious when i don’t have this immense feeling of love for him at the moment when i think or talk to him. i do love him so much but I feel like the distance makes us dry and i begin to feel distant cause we both have our own lives but i am anxious that i will fall out of love or if im in the process of it and im lying to myself. my friend was like oh do you see yourself marrying him and im like im only 19! and then i was like do i not want to?! the absolute spiral my brain goes through… does anyone know how i can cope so that thoughts stop. i just wanna be present for my boyfriend and only think of the positives.

i would like some advice please and i didn't get any responses 😭.. apologies for reposting but just need some thoughts on this 🥲 //// after frustrations with erp not working, i intentionally brought up the intrusive mental images as well as sensations during an exposure in trying to practice desensitizing myself to them. but now im scared that me purposefully bringing on the images and especially the disturbing outward sensations means that i did something bad or acted on my thought since i took the action to purposefully create and bring the disturbing intrusive images and thoughts and feelings. now it feels like not just a fear but reality. and my anxiety levels are just too much. i'm just feeling terrible and would like some thoughts or support

This is my first time on Something like this, I’ve just been having a bunch of intrusive thoughts, from past memoirs to recent memories to just videos I see on line…I also feel I have slight anger issues too but not like violent tendencies (I could never) but they are just so crazy and uncomfortable. They been more frequently and they are really starting to depress me. I could use some advice or something.

this morning I was really rushed and stressed and that literally triggered my anxiety and like contamination ocd. I want to say I don’t have typical contamination ocd, I just have this gross feeling and certain objects trigger it. I can’t even say fully what I mean because it sounds so strange and weird. As I was getting ready I kept having gross images in my head and it felt so real and then I got worried if it actually happened and I just didn’t notice it because I was in a rush this morning. I’m so confused and stressed I am so done with this. I feel like I have to throw everything away now. like I can’t even say what happened exactly and that stresses me out so much more because I don’t know if it actually happened or what. I’ve cried over this so many time and I can’t even tell anyone because they’re going to think I’m crazy. how do I know if a memory is false or true? later on in the day I retraced my steps and everything and I kept thinking back about every event that happened before after and during and I can’t tell if it was real or not. if it was real I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself and I can’t live like this. I thought I was getting better and I started not caring about the thoughts, but this morning because I was rushed and doing things in a hurry I feel like it started all over again and I don’t know if this memory is true or not. seriously what do. I do?

The thoughts still exist. For the last couple months I’ve been able to say I don’t care and lean into the comfort of being uncertain. Im having a tough time with some things personally right now and guess what decides to show up… Anyways, I’ve been trying to get used to the fact that maybe I’m bisexual with a romantic preference for men (I’m married and love my husband) but when you start going through your compulsions it’s soooo easy for everything to blur out. To my knowledge I’ve never had a crush on a woman but I’ve most definitely watched same sex porn and have thought women are hot and beautiful, then come the thoughts about comp het and how I’ve never been an overly sexual person so that MUST mean something. Ugh idk, just looking for someone to chat with I guess!

So 🧍‍♀️ lately my eyes have been feeling tired like i just feel like shutting them and sleeping- and they get strained very easily 😭😭 this all started last Thursday when i was at robotics and i had to wear safety glasses but they were all scratched up and smudged and i wore them for 2 hours straight no breaks and i was focused so i didnt blink much- so after that my eyes constantly keep wanting to shut and they feel dry and overworked- but ofc- i had to google 💀 and now my ocd is convincing me that this means i have an underlying neurological disorder 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 PEODISKSJSJS IM SCARED I BOOKED AN EYE APPOINTMENT BUT IM TERRIFIED AND ANXIOUS

What meds/doses are you guys on and have they alleviated distress for you?

im not getting that many intrusive thoughts but i am still thinking about it and googling. basically today i had a phone call therapy thing arranging for therapy in two weeks, she said i needed to make a diary of any thoughts and feelings i had for the next two weeks. so this appointment thing led me to think my ocd was fake so i slept because i didn’t want to think about it any more and then i googled for 2 hours. but now im like what happens if i did this on purpose just so i have something to write in my diary and i am manipulating my symptoms, i have done so much googling that what happens if i have just taken these symptoms as my own im so stressed. i’m scared that the ocd is fake, i might not be that bad for the next few weeks and then that means my theme is real, i haven’t been completely obsessing about it for a few days, does that mean it’s real? can ocd temporarily go when you are really stressed about other things like school work? i know for some people that makes it worse but for me it comes back worse when i have nothing to think about and am not very busy

i always want to watch new tv shows and lately especially i’ve been getting triggered by a lot of them. anyone else experience this? it gets to the point that i feel like i can’t continue watching the show or i’m doing something wrong, even if i enjoy it/want to continue watching. i recently started watching the menéndez brothers documentary on netflix and i’m intrigued and want to watch the rest but then my brain tells me i’m enjoying it for entertainment purposes or “profiting” off of someone’s trauma or awful experience. i’m more so interested in the case and watching the court experience but i fear i won’t be able to finish it now. anyone else have this issue?

Has anyone switched therapist before? How did that conversation go? I really like my current therapist, but my psychiatrist got me into a OCD center at one of the top hospitals in the country. Now I have to tell my current therapist that I can no longer work with them. Looking for advice on how to handle this conversation.

Everything I’ve ever used to tell myself that there’s no intent, is now backfiring on me. Today it felt like my brain was fantasizing and enjoying the thoughts of murder I now have towards loved ones on a daily basis. What is the difference between HI and this?

Hey everyone. I’ve noticed after starting NOCD I’ve become aware of just how “bad” I am regarding my mental health. Triggers and obsessions I never was aware of. I feel like before therapy I managed my day with a big blanket of denial. Now the cover is off and I see all my OCD and feel broken. Much worse than I thought I was. Did anyone else get worse before getting better? I feel like I’m obsessed now with OCD. Irony :(

Any recommendations for books to read regarding OCD?

And now someone has triggered me and said that my intrusive fears 100% did happen... im so triggered... I want to honestly cease to exist... I want everything to end... Im so triggered...