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I was helping my child and i knew if i walked away itd cause a groinal and i knew she was going to respond to my question so i walked away and said no compulsively because i anticipated a groinal but ocd said i did something bad

Hi, I know I am far different from everyone else but I been struggling with ocd for nearly a year now and the flow always switches and switches but I am a strong Christian and its stuck on my faith, before I use to get blasphemy thoughts alot and it was just in my head but randomly all of a sudden when i read about if you act out on it my brain has made some new urge to make me say bad things about God in words rather than just im my head, this is really distressing for me and I know no one has this but its really affecting me alot and i dont know how to deal with it.

Having a really rough night tonight. Currently I'm having a lot of contamination obsessions and compulsions with using the bathroom and when I use it I usually end up spending at least an hour and a half including all the cleaning rituals and showering afterwards and I just started seeing a new therapist to help with this. Tonight it unfortunately hit me in the middle of the night at like starting at 1 am and finishing close to 3 am. This ended up making both my mom and dad really angry with me and this is not a new situation. For context, my dad doesn't believe in mental illnesses at all and my mother is better and much more understanding, but still doesn't believe it's real to an extent. With my mom being more supportive than my dad, it leads to arguments between them a lot especially ever since they brought me home (I recently graduated college and my OCD got to the point where I was unable to have a job or function normally in taking care of myself by living alone). My mom tends to lash out at me when she gets stressed about these arguments with my dad over me because she can't talk back to him and that in turn usually causes me to spiral and get worse and so the cycle continues. This recent time my dad started yelling at me from downstairs because I was flushing the toilet too much for his liking and my mom said some hurtful things to me. I understand that it's not easy living with me especially right now and I can see why they're upset but I really am trying to get better but I can't just get better overnight and automatically be able to control all my compulsions, especially with the severity they're at right now. I'm not really sure how to navigate my family situation like this with a lack of a support network or someone in my family who believes that what I'm going through with OCD is real and it's not just me choosing to do these things. Has anyone else experienced a similar home situation and have any tips on getting through it?

my living situation is interesting (to say the least) but i cant do anything about it and it’s making my life so much worse and more difficult than it needs to be. im on the verge of relapsing after ~7 years and im finding it really difficult not to go through with my “plans” (if you’re picking up what im saying) on top of this, i’ve been having a spike in my obsessive thoughts lately and i keep being reminded of past memories and some childhood trauma and i feel so sick. my mind is convincing me that trauma is the reason i “must like little kids” or the reason why God is after me like i thought He was all these years or the reason why i keep getting intrusive thoughts about my teacher everything seems to trigger everything and i am so sick of it. i want it to all go away and i have no private place to rest because of my situation and i have no one to talk to about this. if anyone has any advice or suggestions or comfort please let me know

I had a blasphemous thought against the holy spirit s few days ago a bc it’s been on my mind. So today i asked my mom: “ does God take someone’s life away if they committed the sin of blasphemy” and she responded with “Maybe yes or maybe no, he can maybe give that person days to live until the destined day that person has to die, dies.” And after she said that i’ve been kind of anxious and asking for forgiveness. Keep in mind that i wasn’t feel bad about this thought before. Idk why. Now i’m anxious.

This topic triggers me so much because I don’t think I ever experienced “gut feelings” about my relationship until the ocd. I know that generally people get these feelings when something’s off like their values are different, or the partner has strong bad habits, or something they’re doing is wrong. But my relationship is perfect to me: we communicate so well and I feel so vulnerable and safe. He’s amazing and sweet and we share the same values and life goals. We’re not perfect but I wanna be imperfect w him. I’ve never felt the way I feel for him with anyone else before. So why does it feel like the next stage of our life (moving in together) feels like I’ll change my mind later on?.. I get anxious at the idea and thought of sharing our whole life but I know I want to marry him. The idea of us growing old together, I feel like my life would be complete with him. But why do I feel like I don’t want to :( Do people have doubts anout their relationship even when there’s nothing to doubt?? There’s nothing wrong with us at all and I want what we have forever but when I think about our future I feel so anxious like I won’t last long until I decide I can’t do it anymore

Hey everyone, Lately, I’ve noticed an increase in negative comments here, and I know I’m not alone in feeling a bit discouraged by it. We’ve all seen them: comments that are hurtful, disrespectful, or dismissive. It got me thinking about how to handle negativity and stay grounded in treating others well. One person who really speaks to this is Immanuel Kant, the philosopher known for his views on respect and dignity. Kant believed in something he called inherent dignity. He said that each person has worth simply because they are human, not because of what they can do for us or what we think of them. This “inherent dignity” means we should treat others as valuable in themselves, not just as a way to achieve something. Kant even had a rule for this: we should always act in ways that respect the dignity of others, no matter how we might feel at the moment. So, how does this help with seeing negative comments? Well, even when people say hurtful things, Kant’s idea can remind us to still see the person behind the comment. It doesn’t mean we have to accept bad behavior or ignore negativity, but it does mean that we can choose not to react in the same way. By focusing on dignity, we can decide to respond thoughtfully or simply let it go, knowing that everyone has value—even if they’re not showing it in the best way. It’s tough, especially when comments feel unfair, but remembering Kant’s teachings can help us stay true to who we want to be. Responding with respect, even to negativity, means we’re choosing to see the best in others and holding onto our own integrity.

Have any of you been through this? My harm OCD has continued to be off the charts and while I’m trying to get through therapy and meds, it’s slow going. But now, my thoughts feel like they’ve turned into genuine ideation. Like I actually *want* to do them. And that I’m fascinated by it or something. The feelings are so intense I feel like I can’t stop myself. And it’s like my brain gets stuck. Anything I say to myself like “if you really wanted to do this, you’d feel X” then I suddenly feel it. Most of the time I feel like I’m going to and I’m just stopping myself. Or if I feel love for my loved ones, it’s a feeling or thought like “it’s not enough you could force yourself to do it anyway”. Please help me.

Anyone feel anxious about their health but afraid to go to the doctor? I have concerns for my health that I just can't shake off but I'm just scared to see a doctor because of the anxiety. I guess it's the worry of being diagnosed with something really awful and something that will kill me but when I've gone to get checked everytime I turned out better than I thought I was.

I've had Harm OCD since 2014, managed it well through self guided ERP. By 2018 I developed suicidal OCD, at that time I had no idea it was OCD & was terrified, experienced all of the hallmark compulsions, hiding, avoiding and even stayed in a facility because MH teams made uneducated comments that made the anxiety worse & I didn't feel safe. After several months I finally got accepted for CBT with ERP therapy but because I'd confronted alot of it & guided myself through ERP there wasn't much more the therapist could do and I was signed off. I came off medications in 2019. Since then each year I've had a lapse with it, usually when I'm under stress or moods have felt a little lower - usually happens during the winter months. each year the lapse has lasted maybe 2 weeks before it lifts. I have not had a lapse since January 2023 and now back in what I suspect is another lapse - so I've gone quite some time without ocd driven suicidal thoughts. This time feels very heavy for me and has been around 3 weeks up to now.. The problem I have is that I know so much about it I've gotten TOO self aware so I can only get momentary relief before the doubts kick back in and have me feeling cr*p here's what I'm currently experiencing & even posting this I'm aware is another compulsion to get relief. I stupidly watched a webinar about differentiating between OCD Sucidal ideation & Actual ideation.. 1 of the points said people with ideation also experience high anxiety On top of that memories of what clinicians said to me - 'anxiety could get so high you could act impulsively' or that I was trying to convince them it was OCD when it isn't' Not great for someone seeking certainty. I know what the lapses look like, what the thoughts are, what my compulsions are because each lapse is almost identical, this time feels worse because I've alot of mental stress anyway and low folate levels which I just started taking Folic acid for. I was having anxiety about not getting anxiety about the thoughts because rationally & logically I know it's OCD But I'm constantly feeling like I'm trying to convince myself it's OCD Reviewing past experiences I'm attempting to not give into compulsions but I know I am - researching, articles, looking up the differences etc I even went away by myself stayed in a hotel by myself to try and confront the thoughts to prove I wasn't a risk to myself, bought helpful supplements to help take the edge off I've self referred to IAPT and will be making an appointment to go back onto meds, I'm confronting this as much as I can - I'm having at least a daily anxiety attack because I just can't differentiate if I'm deeply depressed and suicidal or if this is all really clever OCD I have a family, kids, everything to love in my life.. gah this thing is frustrating and so rough :(

Idk what to do, my boyfriend has been thinking about leaving me due to the stress of college and I have no idea how to deal with it. We haven’t ended it yet but we are trying to work things out and are considering being long distance until we can plan things again. I just genuinely feel so fucking lost and confused about all of this, and don’t know which direction my life is headed towards now that we’re becoming more distant.

I cant deny further that i feel nothing…Dont even feel like i am in a relationship and also like spoke to my bf in the morning and he said these thoughts are normal and mine isnt and maybe others they dont care so they go away with me its true and i am scared to accept so they dont go away and no reassurance helps and i constantly think about how no reassurance helps or makes sense cause the thoughts are true and if i breakup wouldnt feel anything and doesn’t feel anything now also so i dont love him and sooner or later it would come out and i dint even have a problem with breaking up ir feel bad cause i already dont feel like a relationship and if its so and the feeling and thoughts are so strong and its not making me anxious and i feel so with truth that they are true so it is and also distance is happening with the relationship then it is so and how my bf if it is then we will see then breakup and maybe realise a truth i wasnt scared of that and i thought to my head it is true and i wasnt anxious and was gonna say and felt it is already true i am just delaying it and i felt it and couldnt deny it and when he said is the truth felt like is the truth which means it is and i am denying and its true and not ocd truth and okay breaking up so what? I feel like i am just not accepting the truth and as a writing habit and being scared i write this its just not accepting and with all the above i feel so strongly that means is so and dont even feel like talking and just not accepting right? Not ocd right? Pls help

You ever just feel like OCD has taken away everything you care about? I let it control me and I ruined the one good relationship I’ve had. I loved him so much but I let obsessions and compulsions get in the way of things and we got distant and the relationship ended a month and a half ago. It’s been 3 weeks since we had a big talk about things, the first time we’d seen each other in person since the breakup. He said then that part of him wants to try again but he has to sort that out with his therapist. He wants to make sure he’s not being impulsive and hurting me more. I miss him so so much and I want to tell him that I’ve figured things out and I know how to fix things. We just messaged for a little bit. I told him that I’m gonna keep giving him space (it had been 2 weeks since we had messaged last) but that whenever he’s ready I want to talk with him. Not even about the breakup or moving forward, just about how he’s doing. He said he’d try going to the local hangout space more but that he’ll be really busy for the next few weeks or months. We talked a little more before I had to stop myself before I said something I might regret. I so badly want to tell him that I can fix the problems we had and that I know what OCD is and how it affects me now. I so badly want to tell him that I still love him and I want to try again. That I just want to see him and I want to talk to him. But I stopped myself because I don’t want to jump the gun too soon and push him further away. A week from today would have been our one year anniversary. I feel like I fucked things up so badly. And I know OCD isn’t my fault and that I don’t have control over the thoughts, except that i was diagnosed a month before the breakup and I was so afraid that I ignored it and pretended I was fine instead of researching it and getting help. I had the opportunity to fix things then but I didn’t and I ruined it all. He’s dealing with his own shit right now in regards to mental health. And I know with the state of the world and losing his job at the end of the year and trying to get a business started for when his job ends, he has so much to deal with. He has his own worries and his own things to deal with and he doesn’t have time for working on a relationship and he feels like he can’t be there for me (the reason for the breakup). And that’s why I feel so guilty and selfish that all I can think about is how much I miss him and how much I want him. How much I want to try again. How much I want to show him how I’ve grown and gotten better and I know how to fix things now. And I feel so hopeless.

Me and my fiancé have been together for several years. Our love is not infatuation or lust at this point, true comfortable type of love. My mind seems to think this means I do not love him and it's because I'm actually gay. Sometimes I catch myself thinking things like, "Well if I don't love him anymore, maybe I can learn to love him again. Maybe if I just keep going." And that scares me because I remember i used to see a talk therapist, and one time I discussed my fear that one day I'd wake up and realize I was gay, and he said something like people don't just wake up in a hetero relationship and realize they're actually gay but they usually say "maybe I can learn to love them, maybe I can make myself love them." So, similar to what I'm thinking now. Freaks me out so bad. I KNOW I love him, but geez this is the worst theme I've ever had. Anything and I mean ANYTHING is evidence to my mind. Any little thought, action, dream, word. I can't even think about getting my hair cut or dress a certain way without my mind ssying that makes me gay or will make me look gay. (Which, what does gay even look like lmfao?) Sorry, just needed to vent.

I turn 17 in two days and I’ve been in a panic that I’ll still have attraction to 14 year olds, because I actually do not know if I do or not, I just can’t tell. I don’t know how I’m gonna tell. idk if I will or not, and it’s all super confusing to what I really want, it’s like “do you like 14 year olds at that age??” And I say no? But it feel like I’m also lying, and that I actually do? idk what to do? My brain keeps justifying it to be fine cuz it’s only three years but I really don’t like that, so I’m worrying that I will feel attracted

Anyone with rocd here? Pls help me pls… so i have just gotten into a relationship(my first) and i have struggled with different themes of ocd over the last 5 years or more now and i am now maybe struggling with this and i need help so… all i can think about is how even people telling me its rocd if i give them my concern and also like i am not even searching for rocd videos to give reassurance like it doesnt even cross my mind cause if it was true ocd i would be but now i am not so and this me writing here is just being scared and a coping mechanism and habit of 5 years and i know so cause i feel so while writing so if nothing gives reassurance its not rocd and actually i dont love him and just dont feel same and just am numb and dissociated with him? Nothing of rocd gives reassurance cause actually not love wver and not even seeing or agreeing to rocd doesn’t reassure and even while writing rn so no love and is true cause it feels so strongly that there is no love and like people say the KNOW they love their partner its just doubts mine its not even that i know i dont? And if not anxious and it is not ocd i am just not accepting right? Pls help me i would be grateful…

I have sometimes seen videos on Instagram or tiktok that have the captions: “when the intrusive thoughts win” and at times, reading that can be very triggering for me. It makes me start thinking of my intrusive harm thoughts or others and imagined that one day, they will win and take over. Wondering if others ever feel that.

(Sorry for long post) This and my harm ocd is the worst. My so-ocd has me thinking I’ve lived a lie all my life. Ever since I was young I’ve wanted a boyfriend and a husband. Ive always obsessed over men and I’ve had silly little crushes. Plus I had quite a lot boyfriends in primary school. I’ve always wanted that teenage romance with a stupid boy but my so-ocd is driving me insane. Whenever I try to think of scenarios with a guy, my brain says “no” and changes it to a woman and then I get a groinal response. It’s so tiring. I’ve never, ever wanted to be with a girl. Even thinking about me dating a girl is just no. And when I was in secondary school I had this crush on a guy I didn’t speak to much, just a few glances and I even confessed but he said he had a gf. Was that crush just a way of me hiding my true identity? And whenever I think a guy is attractive my mind says “no you’re gay” I can’t even get turned on by a guy which is insane because it was easy for me to before this theme popped up (around a few months ago). It’s so frustrating because I want a boyfriend. I want to fall in love with a boy. I want a family with him. Anyone else going through a similar experience?

My contamination ocd is taking over this week, and I'm tracking and isolating every time I touch something that's a trigger. Pretty frustrating.

Hi! For one of my exposures I’m practicing sitting with the distress from my OCD and not ruminating about my obsessions. I’m struggling with how to stop ruminating though because whenever I try the obsessive thoughts keep popping into my head and I can’t get them out. Does anyone have any advice?