Kickstart your recovery journey with a caring community of others
working to conquer OCD
I literally was sipping sparkling water and I immediately get this thought “Is this what p**** taste like?” Ugh. OCD is a creative jerkwad.
I’m in an absolutely crippling episode dealing with real event/ false memory. I literally cannot get out of it and it is beyond hell. Can someone please help me with advice? If you have been through this how did you get through?! I’m out of work, the only relief is when I’m sleeping no exaggeration. My husband is being super supportive and Is also taking time off to be with me. Was there a specific medication or any tricks that helped? I’m beyond desperate. Thank you
So, my brain has latched onto this cuz it’s just past the holidays and Valentine’s Day is coming up Whenever my bf gets me a gift I worry I’m not excited enough. I love the gifts he gets me but it doesn’t fill me with excitement or overwhelming joy. I smile and hug him and say thank you. I’ve always been like that. Before I met him too. I do get excited if someone I have a crush on gets ne a gift (ie him) I got pumped about it before we started dating but once we started dating it was less excitement and just appreciation cuz he knows me well I think? Same goes for flowers. I’ve never gotten flowers from anyone. But when he got me flowers I got anxious at first cuz it was a surprise that he got mw them. He literally just turned around and boom. Bouquet of tulips. I stared at them for ages honestly. They were beautiful and I felt beautiful when he gave me them even tho I was in joggers and a sweater lol. He got me carnations over the summer and this was when my ROCD was bad so my brain was like “when you see him break up with him” then I saw the flowers and thought no I can’t do that. I don’t wanna do that. I’m worried I’m not getting enough butterflies in my stomach when it comes to gifts. He got me an incredibly personal gift for my birthday, a book that I love and snacks (tight budget. We’re uni students lol) but it made me so happy. I smiled genuinely. I was awkward but I’m always awkward when opening gifts in front of people. Idk. When he gave me gifts before we started dating maybe it gave me that adrenaline rush cuz it was like oh shit maybe he likes me back omg omg (clearly that was true) And my brain uses the lack of excitement about gifts (I do get excited just not very jumpy. He’s never gotten me smthn I hated.) as reasoning that a) I don’t love him and b) I’m gay and would appreciate a gift from a gf more. But even when my female friends give me gifts (Ik not the same but shh, evidence) I’m the same way. Even when family gets me gifts. Idk if it’s the fact I never got that many gifts growing up or I’m just socially awkward opening things in front of people but it’s panicking me a tad. This is making me worry that I won’t be excited about what he gets me for Valentine’s Day and our anniversary (the day before) and im gonna fake my reaction (which I don’t wanna do, I love him and his gifts) and that when he proposes in the future I won’t be excited about it. I have told him this. When I get anxious I analyze and it makes it hard for me to be excited cuz im analyzing if im excited enough. My brain is like you feel ugh around him. No I don’t?? I feel OOOOO around him. I don’t get butterflies in my stomach tho which is another place of panic. I feel them more in my groin. And I can tell they feel good. When I’m in a good headspace it’s when I say I love you or when I’m writing poetry about him. They’re different than arousal tho I think. I know we can get groin responses because of excitement. But my brain suddenly thought: what if this groinal response has been anxiety this whole time and you’ve never liked him and you’ve been mistaking anxiety for attraction. Speaking of arousal. Idk what sex in a long term relationship feels like. Im worried im zoning out or dissociating. Or im not attracted to him cuz I don’t feel butterflies in my stomach. Most times I have my eyes closed but im just bad at eye contact. Sex/intimacy has always been enjoyable but with this it feels like I feel nothing. Im worried I don’t like his body and it’s just comphet. Im worried I only like the pleasure I feel and not the person im doing it with. Idk. Im frekaed out. I’m worried I’m faking. I’m sweating at the thought of it. Sex has always been fun and consensual and hot. Idk. I’m worried that I’m losing attraction to him. I still get horny but sometimes my brain thinks stop cuz I won’t enjoy it. If we start going and he’s tying me up sometimes I’m checking to make sure I haven’t gotten dry or smthn but I know it’s just a matter of foreplay and outside stressors. One of which being school and also my Brain. If I’m too dry and it hurts too much I panic and break down thinking it means I’m gay. I’m also worried I don’t feel enough romantic feelings for him lately. We don’t do anything romantic besides cuddle/have sex when he’s around. School and stidying. He missed 2 exams so he’s been grinding to do the make ups so we haven’t gone out. We also play games together. I’m worried that I only feel platonic attraction to him and thag makes me a lesbian. But I can’t feel BUTTERLFIES all the time that’s unrealistic. Ik it’s subjective. Idk how to tell if I do love him romantically anymore. I’m so confused and a bit scared cuz the butterflies aren’t in my stomach thwyre in my groin occasionally but it’s not arousal. It’s just love. I do feel it in my chest sometimes and then my brain takes it and makes it anxiety making me think I’m not attracted to him. Idk. I feel insane lately I’m happy with him but am I happy/in love enough or at all??
Lately my OCD has been very horrible, it’s been more convincing than ever to the point where I’m genuinely convinced that I like this stuff, when I get a thought, I’ll hear my intrusive thoughts go “oooh, I like that, I’d do that.” and I just don’t freak out nor feel bad, I just feel like I like it even more, and feel like I would do/act on it and like it, and the feeling is strong and it lingers forever? It genuinely feels like I do, and I’m just lying now, i can’t tell if I make these thoughts worse or anything All I remember mostly just being like confused sometimes when these thoughts happen, but since I’m getting strong emotions that I like it, my brain says that means I did and I’m worried about that being true because I don’t understand nor know It’s like I am resisting to like this stuff now, it’s even tougher now than it was before
TW/ sexual ocd This post and how chat gpt responded (saying it’s extreme and harmful and i crossed moral and ethical boundaries is now making me depressed. I’ve been non stop crying. I feel undeserving of life. Here is the post
Hi! its been a long time since I've posted here so a lot of things have happened in a year , I've become so confused and weirded on my experience. Since I was 14 (now Im 19 turning 20) I developed a strange behavior of coming from thoughts of me telling me that (I am gay) and after 3 years of constant horrible thoughts and watching porn 4-5 times a day I developed new tastes for gay porn , I just started to like it , I didnt feel like there was SOocd anymore and considered myself as Bi all this time and I felt neutral about it. After watching gay porn I developed another dopamine hit by sexting with other guys , jerking etc and it was weird cause I didnt have any interest in guys outside porn and it went for like 1(1/2) years like this , after this I developed a new taste that got me on the extreme part I was curious and decided to experiment with a guy , I was full of pleasure for waiting to experience the thing I thought would feel good , so I had sex with a guy and I gotta say it felt really horrible , it wasnt satisfying or pleasurable but it only hurt and left me traumatized and shamefull about myself to the point I stopped doing the past activities till after 2 weeks , then I started again doing the same stuff and watching gay porn again until I started watching this one video and it felt kinda off , it wasnt turning me on I felt weirded and discusted by it so I remove the tab and stopped watching gay porn since then , why am I coming here after being convinced so far ? well now that I feel off Im having a theory that all this was caused by my porn addiction cause no matter what I never felt anything for a guy outside only some kind of "false attraction" and thats it ! And on my past I was crazy about girls and to this day (on my 3rd relationship rn) , and now I feel confused and in fear that I may have gotten STDs , still the question remains Was my porn addiction responsible for all of this circle of madness ? Thank you (P.s I apologise for the triggering details)
दिमाग के पैटर्न को बदलने के लिए नियमित अभ्यास, सकारात्मक सोच और धैर्य की जरूरत होती है। यहां कुछ उपाय और टिप्स दिए गए हैं, जो आपके दिमाग के नकारात्मक और दोहराव वाले पैटर्न को बदलने में मदद कर सकते हैं: --- 1. माइंडफुलनेस और ध्यान (Mindfulness and Meditation) कैसे करें? एक शांत जगह पर बैठें। अपनी सांसों पर ध्यान दें। जब भी नकारात्मक विचार आएं, उन्हें बिना प्रतिक्रिया दिए स्वीकार करें और सांसों पर ध्यान केंद्रित करें। लाभ: माइंडफुलनेस आपके दिमाग को वर्तमान में रहने का अभ्यास सिखाती है और विचारों के चक्र को तोड़ती है। --- 2. पॉजिटिव री-फ्रेमिंग (Positive Re-Framing) क्या करें? जब नकारात्मक विचार आएं, उन्हें सकारात्मक सोच से बदलें। उदाहरण: नकारात्मक: "मुझे डर है कि मैं गलत करूंगा।" सकारात्मक: "मैंने पहले कभी गलत नहीं किया, और मैं इसे संभाल सकता हूं।" लाभ: सकारात्मक विचार धीरे-धीरे दिमाग में नई आदतें बनाते हैं। --- 3. पैटर्न रोकने की तकनीक (Pattern Interruption Technique) जब भी आपका दिमाग नकारात्मक पैटर्न में जाए, तुरंत कुछ अलग करें: 10 बार गहरी सांस लें। पानी का गिलास पिएं। कोई गाना सुनें। लाभ: इससे दिमाग का ध्यान दूसरी ओर जाता है और दोहराव टूटता है। --- 4. एक्शन का डर कम करना (Face the Fear Gradually) ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention): जिस चीज से आप डरते हैं, उसे धीरे-धीरे झेलना शुरू करें, लेकिन बिना प्रतिक्रिया दिए। उदाहरण: अगर आपको किसी आवाज या विचार से डर लगता है, तो उस स्थिति में कुछ मिनट बिताएं और खुद को शांत रखें। धीरे-धीरे यह डर खत्म होने लगेगा। --- 5. दिमाग को व्यस्त रखें (Engage Your Mind) नई गतिविधियों में हिस्सा लें, जैसे: पेंटिंग, पढ़ाई, योग, या पजल सॉल्विंग। लाभ: जब आपका दिमाग रचनात्मक या सकारात्मक चीजों में व्यस्त होगा, तो नकारात्मक पैटर्न कमजोर पड़ जाएगा। --- 6. छोटे लक्ष्य तय करें (Set Small Goals) क्या करें? अपने पैटर्न को तोड़ने के लिए छोटे-छोटे लक्ष्य तय करें। उदाहरण: "आज मैं केवल 5 बार अपने विचार को रोकने का प्रयास करूंगा।" धीरे-धीरे यह संख्या बढ़ाएं। --- 7. विज़ुअलाइजेशन (Visualization) कैसे करें? अपनी आंखें बंद करें और खुद को एक शांत और सकारात्मक स्थिति में देखें। जैसे, अपने विचारों को शांत होते हुए और खुद को खुश महसूस करते हुए देखें। लाभ: दिमाग को नई सोच और पैटर्न सिखाने में मदद मिलती है। --- 8. ग्राउंडिंग तकनीक (Grounding Techniques) जब भी आपका दिमाग नकारात्मक पैटर्न में जाए, तुरंत यह 5-4-3-2-1 अभ्यास करें: 5 चीजें देखें। 4 चीजों को छुएं। 3 आवाजें सुनें। 2 चीजें सूंघें। 1 चीज का स्वाद लें। लाभ: यह आपको वर्तमान में वापस लाता है और नकारात्मक सोच को तोड़ता है। --- 9. रूटीन बनाएं (Build a Daily Routine) नियमित दिनचर्या बनाएं और उसका पालन करें: सुबह उठकर योग करें। दिन में पढ़ाई या काम में व्यस्त रहें। रात को 10-15 मिनट ध्यान करें। --- 10. खुद को याद दिलाएं (Self-Affirmations) रोजाना खुद को सकारात्मक वाक्य कहें: "मैं अपने विचारों पर नियंत्रण रख सकता हूं।" "मैं हर स्थिति को संभाल सकता हूं।" लाभ: यह आपकी आत्मविश्वास बढ़ाता है और नए पैटर्न बनाने में मदद करता है। --- 11. जर्नल लिखें (Keep a Journal) अपने विचारों और अनुभवों को लिखें। दिन के अंत में, उन विचारों को तर्क के साथ चुनौती दें। उदाहरण: "क्या यह विचार सच है?" "क्या मैंने इसे कभी सच होते देखा है?" --- 12. शारीरिक गतिविधियां (Physical Activities) रोजाना 20-30 मिनट तक एक्सरसाइज करें। यह दिमाग में सकारात्मक हार्मोन (डोपामाइन) बढ़ाता है और तनाव कम करता है। --- 13. मदद लें (Seek Professional Help) अगर आपको लगे कि आपकी कोशिशों के बाद भी पैटर्न नहीं बदल रहा है, तो मनोवैज्ञानिक या मनोचिकित्सक से संपर्क करें। CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) इस स्थिति में सबसे प्रभावी होती है। --- याद रखें: दिमाग का पैटर्न बदलना एक प्रक्रिया है, जो समय और धैर्य मांगती है। छोटे कदम उठाएं, लेकिन लगातार प्रयास करें। आप इसे बदलने में सक्षम हैं और अपने विचारों पर काबू पा सकते हैं। अगर आपको किसी खास समस्या पर चर्चा करनी हो, तो मुझसे पूछने में संकोच न करें।
Idk. It just feels like they pop up all the time and I think a NOCD article and a few other articles said that if it’s persistent you probably wanna do it. These thoughts also don’t cause me anxiety But I don’t think I do. I’m happy with him. I’m myself. Sure there are things that aren’t perfect but, that’s life I can’t have control over everything (even tho I want that. Trying to get that through my thick skull lol). I’m not unhappy. Maybe a bit- stressed? Idk. I’m nervous about his parents. His family is Muslim, I am not. So expectations there. And idk I think it’s putting pressure on me mentally cuz I wanna be seen as a good gf/wife/mother one day. I look at him and I feel happy and safe. Warm. I don’t feel it in my stomach or chest tho it’s closer to my groin(idk where love is felt. It used to be more in my stomach and sometimes chest but lately it’s down there. Idk if that’s an anxiety thing. It feels good compared to the anxious groinals I get. And it’s always happened) thinking about our future does make me nervous but it does also make me happy But in my head I’m not over the moon excited? Which worries me. I’m just peacefully happy. I don’t feel trapped or scared. Maybe a bit nervous as I said cuz different culture and religion but I do find his faith beautiful and comforting. Idk I feel a bit crazy. And we’re coming up on our one year, longest I’ve ever been with someone and I have no gifts no plan no nothing and I feel horrible about it. I also have 3 midterms on our one year which makes me wanna cry my eyes out. And then a small test the next day. Then readinf week. I don’t think I’m gonna go home for that cuz I wanna hang out with my bf. Idk what to do. I’m staying off Reddit for a week cuz it’s not helping. How do I know if it’s just an ocd urge or real? It doesn’t have any urgency. Ig maybe it does if I’m coming here for sn answe or ruminating about it.
i was talking to this girl for about 4-5 months (right when school started) we talked and things were amazing, it was perfect she was perfect. she made unbelievably happy. and made me feel so special. i had heard that she was a “player” before, but when she started talking to me i genuinely felt special to her we had stopped talking for a month but started again- once we did everything was back to normal, even better (distance makes the heart go fonder yk) randomly she said she didn’t want to talk anymore bc she was too busy with school + work+ sports and she couldn’t give me attention i needed/ wanted and taht wasn’t fair to both of us after we stopped talking she started posting things about how she was single for a while and it made me feel terrible i miss her every day. it’s been about 2 months. she said she could imagine us potentially talking some day but randomly one day about a month ago she blocked me. idk bro i just miss her every day. i hate walking past her at school. i hate taking out my airpods when she’s near me just so i can hear her voice. i just miss her. please. help. what do i do? i don’t even want to get over her, i still want her back. but all signs point towards we won’t talk again- but for some reason i feel like there’s still hope, a chance i still try to imagine her texts on my phone every day, every text i see i hope it’s her. i try to convince myself every day “todays the day she comes back”
Any advice on how to get hand washing ocd under control? I struggle with washing my hands one time and then fearing it’s not clean enough. What if I have rabies from touching something outside and now it’s still on my hands. What if by me walking into the kitchen and seeing a mouse or a bat,now I need to go wash my hands. This ocd has been getting the worse of me. My hands are dry and irritated. Please someone help
Suicid-l thoughts because of this. Chat gpt told me I morally failed me and my cat and this is extreme and i need help now before i cause harm. And that I violated my cat. I don’t deserve to live
What’s the difference between soocd and internalized homophobia I am having a hard time finding out which one I am I was diagnosed with ocd only liked girls but I have lost attraction and have constant doubt shame guilt I’m 16 and this started when I was 15 I’m very hyper aware if I put my hands in a certain way it feels gay and I have these thoughts telling me when I see guys oh he’s hot or cute someone have anything they can tell me so I can tell which one is which please
Hi there - first time poster. I am still in the process of getting diagnosed with OCD but feel I have it or am at least experiencing symptoms. I also have generalized anxiety disorder, and worry a lot about finances, change, the world, if I’m doing ‘enough’. I try to manage this with radical acceptance, mindfulness, coping skills, but I’m realizing some things I thought were healthy and normal are not as healthy or normal as I thought. Like having a bunch of spreadsheets to keep track of things and checking them multiple times a day. I get praised for being super organized but I feel it is a symptom of OCD and/or anxiety, and I’m struggling with coming to terms with things I used to be very proud of actually being potentially harmful. For example, being proud of discipline, motivation to be ‘my best self’ and staying organized, when in reality all of these habits seem based on feeling ashamed of who I am, scared I’ll ‘miss’ something without organization, and feeling I need to be productive and perfect at all times. Anyways, my question is - do others relate in certain ways? What has helped you if you can related?
**TW** I think my OCD is latching onto this. It feels extremely real and scary. I basically learned about the dark web and a browser name. And now I’m petrified I’m going to get on it and find terrible things. I can’t stop imagining myself do it and I’m scared. I feel like I had already heard and known about it but learning about it this time feels different. Maybe it’s just the OCD. I feel like I’m going to lose control. I wish I would stop learning about these things. I’m so tired :(
referring back to an old post, where i allowed my cat to lick my hand/arm while engaging in compulsion (msturbation) due to a groinal response being caused by the cat licking my hand. i intended to have the cat keep licking my hand and or arm so that i could just finish the compulsion and get it over with. according to CHATGPT i morally and ethically failed me and my cat and i need serious help. also said that this is rare and not seen in ocd. i am so sad. if i do need serious help and seem like a creep, i would want brutal honesty. i feel like i need to be taken away.
I don't know. I just fucking went down a huge rabbit hole of this lady on ROCD Reddit who described something very similar to how I feel about my boyfriend. She was so scared to break up but wanted to anyway bc she wanted to explore and stuff. A lot of the stuff she wrote was things I swear I could have written myself. And I feel so anxious and sick bc she ended up leaving her boyfriend. She's not happy now but feels it's the right choice. I'm so fucking scared - bc I feel like I need to do it now. I feel in ways no ROCD sufferer has felt and I swear this is true. What the fuck??
just don’t read if not familiar with POCD anyway so like a few months ago when I was yk doing the do with myself I was thinking abt my then bf and then suddenly I pictured my nephew and I was so disgusted by the thought that I stopped but I hated that I thought about it. Now i brushed it off after that because I realized that it was so immoral and disgusting but I feel immense guilt when I look at him or my sister. I avoid holding him now because I feel so ashamed of thinking of him . Once I think I did think abt him as well but then shifted to like ew no that’s gross and then stopped and continued as I thought about my then bf. But still why do these thoughts come up? Should I confess to my sister or forgive myself privately? I feel so compelled to say I’m sorry to her even when I have never done anything to my nephew. I’m just scared what if I’m a monster and am never able to have a normal relationship because my Pocd attaches itself to the kids in my life or even the people in my life such as loved ones. I’m terrified of myself and my body shivers at the thought of being a pedo or part taking in any incest acts.
Lately ive been questioning my sexuality due to a thought that ive had for a long time but never dwelled on the thought was about me liking my girlfriend more when she identified as a male and does that make me straight.. I still love my girlfriend and love hanging out with her but before she detransitioned i felt like our relationship wasn’t as bad and healthier and my anxiety has made me feel as if it was healthier because im only into men and that I have no interest in being with women despite me being deeply attracted to them.. I also feel like im putting on a persona or faking it just for the “trend” I used to be so certain on my sexuality but now im just stressed thinking about the possibility of being straight and I feel guilty about possibly lying to my girlfriend im constantly needing reassurance and asking people if im straight and looking back at past experiences to see if I am or not and I think the worst part is that I havent been diagnosed with OCD but ive had plenty of thoughts like this before that i’ve stressed over.
in actually scared i dont care about my partner as im supposed to and that i dont like him, i have dificulties with sexual stuff, and im scared i dont like him and that i am lying to myself, im scared. He is a very nice and caring and beautiful man, i love him (or i think i dont lnow) he dosent deserve this , i talked to him about this he knows about my thoughts, some days ago he calmed me down and used some logoc on me and i was good and now im questioning everything i feel bad for posting here i feel like im lying to him and im scared my thoughts are real
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life
