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Is there anyone who is struggling with sexual orientation ocd quickly reply and help me ?

I was watching a show about how the main character is gay and she was figuring it out and was pushing the thoughts away. I feel like I can relate cause all day the thoughts have been bringing me happiness

Don't panic, you're still the same girl, your OC gives you a lot of intrusive thoughts that aren't you and that disgust you and scare you and that you don't want and that you don't think are true, and your OC gives you the false feelings.Also, don't forget that whatever comes to mind, whatever intrusive thoughts you have and whatever you feel, is all yours.

I’m deeply afraid I may have acted on an intrusive thought during self pleasure:/ in the moment it feels like I want it or focus on it but then immediately after i panicked:/ this only happens In context of intrusive thoughts I never plan on acting on these I’ve never experienced this problem before idk i feel like maybe my values n moarls changed in a sec is that possible?? I keep asking myself is this who i really am …. I can’t take it anymore guys I wish i could go back to my normal self I’m tired of feeling like this everyday no one would want a real pedo and that’s me guys u feel sick I haven’t eaten or drank anything

Hi!! I don’t know why, but ever since my health anxiety has gotten a billion times worse, I just cannot seem to sleep. About two weeks ago, I had a rough couple of nights where I could not sleep. I saw my boyfriend, got my sleep schedule back (he makes me feel safe so it is very easy to sleep around him), and I was able to sleep just fine! Yesterday I moved back into my uni house and I just could not sleep. I genuinely laid there for about 8 hours with 0 luck. My boyfriend doesn’t come back to uni for 5 days so that’s not an option. I am so scared I will not be able to sleep until he’s back. I know you can get mild hallucinations after 48 hours and I am so scared of that happening. Plus, I have an online exam that has to be submitted in 4 days so I need my wits for that. Does anyone have any tips? I am hoping that I’ll be so tired tonight that I will just sleep but I’m honestly not that hopeful that I will.

I have plans to go to Liverpool and Cornwall in the UK later this year after spending more time in India and possibly Sri Lanka. After all that I have 2 years planned in SE Asia. If I were advising another mentally ill personwho was doing the same thing I'd just say don't panic. There were some really hairy times but I realised how tough I am and how these things are problems for everyone. There were times I was fighting drug dealers and times I had no money and a time Ioverstayed my visa. Not to mention all the times I thought I was having a psychotic episode and would have to be sent home with nowhere to go. You can do it if you trust your gut and trust your friends. Peace 🙏

I realize that if you try to hold in these intrusive thoughts and feelings then it will get worse, but right now I’m not as bothered by them like I did yesterday

I'm so scared. People always say that it doesn't matter what sexuality you actually are, but I feel like I am/ will turn gay and have to leave my husband. It's been destroying my life for the last 5 years.

I’ve been experiencing intense existential OCD for a couple months though and has led to a bit of depersonalization. I feel both hyper aware / uncomfortable in my own body (with my own eyesight) and simultaneously detached from it and my surroundings. The thoughts have spiraled so much it’s hard to think about getting out of it and getting back to “normal.” But I have hope bc I know I want to get back to my life and feel love/joy again. Any success stories? Encouragement? Hope everyone gets through their current themes/struggles. We can do this 🩷

I feel like I’ll never lead a normal life again with OCD, my thoughts have begun to be convince especially about POCD. I feel like so sad and down that this will be my life forever. I’ll never get to fall in love again without intrusive thoughts. I’ll never be worth falling in love with. I can never be intimate again. I’m just done, my life is over. I can’t even look at my nephew and niece anymore without the smile fading. It feels like I’m so nasty and then my brain convinces me this is how I feel. That there’s some part of me that is a p*do and that’s it. I’m a disgusting human being for that. I just feel hopeless

I will never get my old life back and my old brain back. This OCD has gotten so bad that it feels like there will never be a way out. And when I do feel better, the OCD tells me that I have accepted it. The thought that only makes it worse

My OCD has never been this strong, it's so real, it feels like it will never go away, it's never been this strong for me and it's very scary.

rocd is really hard. and it’s hard to differentiate what you really feel based of what your ocd is making you feel or believe that you feel. but i think ive learned that a lot of my thoughts stem from real thoughts but ocd just exaggerates them into something they’re completely not. i will have a genuine thought about my boyfriend and how i wish he did something a little differently one time and my ocd will immediately twist it into, “oh you want to change him, you don’t love him for who he is, you like his potential not him” and i KNOW that’s not true. but ocd obviously will make me go crazy about it in the moment. and it’s obviously draining. i have a coworker that is the center around by rocd a lot of the time and it has to do with how i think he’s attractive, yeah he’s attractive and a good friend!!!! but that’s all!!!! i know that even if im in a relationship my eyes aren’t closed and im gonna find people attractive. but i can find people attractive and have it mean nothing!!! but my ocd will twist it. “you like him and not your partner” “you wish it was him and not your partner” when i have a negative thought about my partner, this coworker will pop up and my OCD will be like “it’d be better with him right?” “am i settling for my boyfriend?” “does my coworker have more potential?” and it’s so draining… i admire my coworker but i don’t want to pursue him romantically. i know from the bottom of my heart that my boyfriend is who i want to be with. i have no doubt about it. but my ocd will say “unless you do and you’re suppressing it” and sometimes it’s like this nagging voice that attacks me when i know it isn’t true but despite me being able to differentiate what is ocd and what is me to some extent, that doesn’t make this any easier. my ocd will still make me question it all. this whole thing makes my relationship feel stressful and not peaceful. not really sure what to do as i move forward im just kinda figuring it out as i go.

I’m looking for support or advice from anyone who’s experienced something similar. I feel disconnected all the time, stuck in a fog of depersonalization and derealization. I’m terrified of losing touch with reality—I avoid watching TV because I’m afraid I’ll think the characters are talking to me, and I constantly monitor my thoughts, worrying I’ll hear voices. My thinking feels slower, scattered, and disorganized. Random words, phrases, or songs pop into my head, and I obsess over them. Even simple tasks or hobbies, like playing video games, feel unfamiliar and overwhelming. I’m having multiple panic attacks daily, with thoughts like, “This is it—I’m about to have a psychotic break.” I’m scared I’ll lose my mind, my relationships, and my ability to function. I’ve been prescribed Risperidone to help with the loud thoughts. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m really struggling to find hope

I can't take it anymore, my OCD is too strong, it's simply taking away my whole life's strength and my will to live, I just can't take it anymore, it's too strong, I can't live anymore

Idk with my soocd it’s weird lately. Before I was able to enjoy all manners of queer content. Lesbian, gay, trans, bi etc. I am bi so yippee right? But lately I’m so scared to interact with lesbian only media or books or smthn cuz I’m worried it’ll make me realize I’m gay and abandon all attraction to men including my bf which doesn’t feel right and I feel bad about it. I haven’t watched anything queer lately really, minus squid game s2. I might watch drag race cuz I love drag race. I haven’t rewatched good omens in a bit both cuz of Neil being.. bad and a little bit Maggie and Nina. Idk. It sounds homophobic and I can kinda laugh at it but I’m worried it’s true. I’m worried I’m gonna relate to much and that must mean OOP GUESS IM A LESBIAN! Which no hate, love women but I love my bf. And I wanna stay with him. I’m worried about seeing a representation of comphet or smthn and realizing oh shit that’s me. I’ve avoided I saw the tv glow for the same reason cuz one of the characters is a lesbian. I follow a few lesbian couples and I’m happy for them, idk if that’s an exposure. I’m worried about everything honestly. Sometimes I feel like I’m just in denial. This is one of those moments where the anxiety isn’t super high and I feel half normal. I keep getting this thought in my head “if you didn’t have your bf you’d be gay” which idk if that’s true. I have been so deep in obsessions I feel no attraction to other men but I’m analyzing anyways. Even before this set in I didn’t look at other guys or anyone really cuz.. I have a bf. I’m worried I’m that delayed person who keeps denying and denying but I’m not denying shit. I like men, more specifically my bf. I’m just not one to be all fangirly tbh unless it’s a character or actor I really like. Idk. If anyone has advice pls hand it over cuz I just wanna love my bf in peace cuz I do love him a lot I just can’t feel it cuz I’m so depressed lately. And obsessive.

I'm dealing with schizophrenia ocd stiiiiilll and I read ocd can be about anything soo yea now I'm having absurd random thoughts that are crazy.

Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety

First, I had simple OCD. It all started when I was 14. I was morbidly afraid of bacteria. I always went home after school, showered, changed clothes, and applied body lotion to every part of my body. And I always I washed my hands and I couldn't touch my things without washing them first, and when I washed my hands and I was like, "What if I didn't wash them, then I went to wash them again?" The doctor was always quick. My hands from washing my hands a lot, this didn't bother me yet, then the intrusive thoughts came, in 2017 I notice that I was always attracted to women and now I only desire and want them, I am afraid and disgusted by gay people I have no problem with them, I'm just afraid of them and the whole thing is disgusting to me and when I saw that many people were gay, this became gay, that became gay and I was afraid that they were gay too and these things kept coming. Intrusive thoughts what if they are gay and I was in fear and anxiety then it went away it came back worse but it was completely gone it disappeared for years then they came After the false memories, I struggled with them, they were also things related to homosexuality, that I did this and that, and in the process I fought with myself, and then it went away and it wasn't at all. I had symptoms after I had a girlfriend who I was with for 3 years. I loved her more than anything. I wanted to spend my whole life and future with her. And when I was with her, I didn't have any thoughts of lust at all. My false memories were perfect, I lived for years without symptoms, I had 1 or 2 intrusive thoughts very rarely, but they passed me by smoothly, I didn't care and they disappeared, then I didn't click, what if I'm gay? And like this because I knew I wasn't the one then after my girlfriend left me and a month passed I saw a gay kid on TikTok and another intrusive thought came to me, believe this is me, what happened in the meantime Not with myself and I didn't know about OCD at the time and the more I fought with myself the worse it got. 0 24 I had intrusive thoughts about being gay I imagined this I said this I said this I thought I thought what in the meantime when I was with my girlfriend I loved sex with her and I really wanted it I'm the same as before I'm still straight and I only want and want women and I'm afraid and disgusted by gay people, the only problem is that I have obsessive thoughts and so I can't live peacefully and it makes me insecure. Meanwhile, I know I'm straight because I love sex.I used to desire it with my girlfriend and I still desire it now, just like before, I even masturbate to it, I desire it so much and when I watch porn I only look at the woman and if I see a man's ass or something, I get it.Or I turn off her face, I immediately feel disgusted and turn it off. I usually watch things where only the woman is visible and I can imagine myself with the woman. If I see a man's ass or face, I'll turn it off. The translation is not perfect because I am not English, sorry, the point is that I am heterosexual and I only desire and want women and I masturbate to them too, it's just a process, my thoughts are intrusive. Which is quite disturbing and I can't live with it, while I'm still the same person I was, I only desire women and I only want them, I masturbate to them. And for my girlfriend because I really want her but at the same time I have intrusive thoughts about being gay, maybe because I'm really afraid of gay people and gay things.

To keep a long story short here are the reasons I feel like I cheated: - I’ve fantasized and daydreamed about this person. - I’ve looked up their social media and scrolled through it (secretly) in an attempt to learn more about them because of my crush on them. I NEVER interacted with their social media in ANY way shape or form (liking/commenting/following/etc). - i’ve spoken with them in a group server (that my partner is also a part of) but i’ve always put a big emphasis on the fact that I am in a relationship with my partner and I talk about him often. The only interaction where I worry I crossed a line was when I mentioned that my ex had a certain trait. Then the person commented on that and said he was surprised I was willing to date people with that trait (he has the trait as well and kept asserting that nobody would date someone with that trait so he was surprised I would). I worry that I said it with the intention to elicit a reaction from him. Would this make it cheating? I definitely found it funny and I told my partner right away about the interaction. I should clarify that I have NEVER interacted with this person on a one-on-one basis, nor have I ever messaged them privately or secretly. Our ONLY interaction has been in a big group server that my partner is also a part of. I have also made a serious effort to stop responding to their messages if we are having a group conversation and only reply to other people and just ignore them. I worry because i know there have been times where i’ve replied to their messages kind of excitedly because i had a crush on them. But these were completely appropriate messages like he was talking about eating lunch (in the group server). I have told my partner about being attracted to them and having fantasized about them. My partner has also admitted to having a crush on a coworker and he said “fantasizing is nice as long as it stays a fantasy.” I completely agree with this but for some reason I really feel like I have crossed a line. I feel like a horrible cheater. I feel so guilty. I don’t know what to do.