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I want to crawl out of my own skin I don't know why God put me on this earth I don't know why my brain is broken Im a lost cause and I don't know why I haven't ended it

Please give me positive motivation to go to church for Easter. I might ask my mother if I can get baptized again. I just feel like I need to for some reason I mean it’s probably my ocd saying “you better get baptized or you remain like this forever” etc but I wanna feel like I changed if I have had any secular thoughts. I’m thinking about going back to the church I grew up with. It would make me feel so much better if I got baptized. I’m Christian by the way.

I made a post earlier today about my past and things that happened and maybe I didn’t phrase it really in the best way haha :’)) so I’ll try and make it shorter. February has been complicated for me and recently. First my mental health was bad because of studies but I had this thought regarding my past that was a little tempting and led me to spiral on about my past, I gave into it and that really took me for a whole spin. I’ve started to open up about things that I never thought I would talk about and even slowly opening up to my therapist. These things happened in childhood and I mimicked actions I saw at a young age ( despite these things happening, it was only just one side of my childhood ) and even though it’s still not easy for me to deal with it, I often have the urge to confess and fear that it’s my intuition telling me to confess and if I don’t, something bad is going to happen or I’m a bad person. I’ve talked about my story to someone in a detailed way and to my therapist briefly and she understood and treated me with kindness but these thoughts still linger. Sometimes it gets to a point where I have the thought briefly telling me negative things but it doesn’t focus on the good things that happened and how I’ve learned and not repeated the action. It just focuses on the bad and when I just pause , it goes silent and keeps quiet, I realise that it’s all just thoughts.

I'm struggling severely. Please comment so I have a therapist or someone to talk to. Someone has caused me to spiral in another group.

I was having intimacy. Watching p0rn. And during climax i got intrusive thoughts a d anxious. I hate when this happens. As a compulsion whenever i get intrusive ocd thoughts i usually think of my wife or therapist (whose a man) and say their name. For my wife its because shes the love of my life. My comfort. And during intimacy of course to arouse over her. When i think of my therapist its not anything sexual its just like a comforting thought since hes the one that is helping me thru ocd. But now ocd is saying why did i think lf him during climax. And in my head i heard my voicr saying his name but this was my way of distracting myself from the intrusive thoughts. It wasnt to arouse myself over him it was tk distract myself and it wasnt a compulsion. Ocd tries associating it with my sexual experience and its making me feel very guilty and anxious. Then i worry was i saying his name. I did in my head but it wasnt again a compulsion tk distract from ocd. Then that made me anxious so i said my wifes name and thougjt kf her. I just had intrusive thought so i panicked and out of compulsive habit i usual say thr name of my wifr and therapist

Every 30 minutes I spiral about something different. It’s exhausting. Right now I’m freaking out because I was finally feeling a little calmer, got on TikTok, and saw a post saying that comforting a guy or giving advice to a guy is considered cheating. Or “microcheating.” And so many people in the comments were agreeing. My OCD already gives me so much crap about having guy friends and comforting them during hard moments. Another post said that even giving advice when a guy texts you his problems is wrong, and like, I give advice so often. That one really struck me, because how on earth is that unacceptable? There was also a part about how hanging out with a guy is cheating too. I don’t really agree with that one either, but I guess I can understand that perspective a little more, especially if your partner feels uncomfortable with it. Still, it just added more fuel to the fire. I already doubt myself constantly, and then I read a comment that said, “*If you do any of that, all I’m hearing is ‘I’m a microcheater and proud.’*” I just started crying. I haven’t been able to sit with the uncertainty of whether I’ve been unfaithful or disrespectful to my boyfriend for months. Especially since my guy friend has given me comfort and advice too. Everything I do feels like cheating. ***Everything***. And seeing that just made it all feel so much worse.

Can it feel like you literally remember a false memory happening? And it feels like the memory has always been there and you vividly remember it happening that way? Because I don’t even know if I’m experiencing a false memory or not but god it feels so fucking real. Like I literally remember it happening. But what’s weird is the original memory was kind of different. 2 years later, the memory is not the same, but it feels like I literally remember it happening. And in this memory, I’m fucking snapping. I’m acting on my thoughts. I feel like a fucking psycho. I hope this is just OCD

i think i really need someone to talk to, I’m starting to feel like more and more everyday like I’m insane, if someone would be willing to private message with me or something id really appreciate it. if not it’s fine if it’s reassurance seeking.

Hey so my OCD makes me hate specific numbers and words, like I can’t say some words in case that specific word comes true and something bad happens. I then go and keep saying to myself everything is amazing,everything is amazing and it just tires me out.

So I’ve just found out I’m pregnant and I’m freaking out rn I’ve been getting thoughts like “I’ll be a bad mum” and overthinking everything & my OCD is convincing me that I’ll act on my thoughts because of my hormones and stuff. I’ve also got a fear of being sick & I’m stressing over that too. Anyone else who has harm OCD pregnant or a Mum can give me some advice pls😭

I am really worried about this, I have OCD but I feel like this isn't OCD. It didn't even have the usual intrusive feeling anymore. I woke up, then was wide awake, my phone was dead so wasn't recording for proof and I really think something was next to me and was saying I "can eat if I sell my soul", and I was like no no, and then it was asking like, how about something else, that you can't do on your own, (like Robert Johnson myth), and with how real it seemed, and those aren't even the way my thoughts go even the intrusive thoughts cause of how long its been, it was no to food then that was brought up, I am so worried it happened, it seemed so real that it had to have been. I am now so terrified that I sold my soul and now I don't know what to do. I can't get help, or eat, or do anything that will benefit me in anyway because it must be from me selling my soul. i know people say you can't sell your soul, but lots of people think you can and no one knows for certain! this wasn't how it ever is at all and it must've happened! is there anyway to get it back if it did happen?

This obsession is new, but feels so much more grounded and it’s so anxiety inducing. Since the ocd started I’ve lost my sense of self and confidence. I got soocd and it slowly turned into be doubting my identity on whether I want to identify or dress masculine or feminine. I don’t feel good in the clothes I would typically wear out before I’m constantly overanalyzing how I’m feeling , it makes me really anxious and like I’m preforming. So then I started doubting if I would rather dress masculine and it’s extremely anxiety inducing and idk if it’s the ocd now but it feels like that’s how I want to dress.. that’s not what I associated with at all before the ocd but now it feels like that’s what would make me feel fully confident and loose in the world, does anyone else experience this??

So, my brain brought up a question that really affected my worldview. I solved the obsession, and gained some good wisdom on that could be useful towards unconditional loving self acceptance. Maybe I was being OCD about recovery, and tried to find logical reasons for why progress is important no matter the outcome when I should've just embraced uncertainty. So now I have an answer to the Obsession. But this obsession took me to a pretty dark place. And I know OCD is just gonna throw and equally Bad one at me if I use this information to my benefit because it will essentially be reinforcing the OCD cycle. "Oh, he got the solution he needed to now I need to throw a new obsession at his way." So what do I do with the wisdom I gained from ruminating here? It's useful and practical information, so I don't want to throw it out. But I can't reinforce the ocd cycle.

every one even my therapist is telling me that its not the end of the word if i dont live my bf of two years anymore, that we cant control what we feel and that i should not be so scared of this, that im lying to myself, this is what my family says, my therapust told me other things that pressed on to my fears, making them feel even more real. i cant do this i dont understand anything. My therapist told me that im not supposed to feel disgust when i talk to him when he is touching me, but i feel like this bc of what im thinking, im scared i cant accept the truth vecause i dont want to hurt him and that i put too many expectations on this relationship. Im scared all if this is real. Even my only friend, told me its ok if i dont love him, but its not ok, its not , no one understands.

Ive been on this platform on and off for quite some time now. The last months have been quite challening. I started with erp but I still struggle to do it consistently. Idk if anyone can relate to what I am about to say, but sometimes when my anxiety is a bit hightened again, I get ocd dreams about my obsession and the feelings I have in the dream are lasting - so I feel them in reality as well - although I mostly feel them when I have nothing do to and I get hit with intrusive thoughts. That lasts probably for a couple of days and its an absolute nightmare. At the moment I am so sad that I feel like I am not able to date because I don’t really feel attraction towards men atm. This always changes but often times when ocd gets worse, my normal attraction fades away. A lot of people around me are getting into relationships and everybody seems to have their lives together and I feel like the odd one out. I wish to get married and have kids but it seems so far away from me right now and I feel quite depressed about it - and I get intrusive thoughts about this as well (that I don’t want to have a boyfriend etc) I wish to find some christian friends on here to talk about this journey, especially when you hope that God will deliver you from all this. I would be glad to connect with people!

Hi NOCD community, I was hoping to get some advice from fellow sufferers. In December we welcomed the first baby into the family, my beautiful niece. Since then, my POCD has been awful, which I know is probably very normal. Last week, in the middle of a very high stress day in my family, I was changing my niece and as usually happens, I got intrusive thoughts about awful things people do to babies when changing them. The thoughts were so harrowing to have as I was also changing her at the exact same time, and I felt my hands just quickly want to finish patting her dry before putting her nappy on, and for some reason, my heart dropped with that hand movement, because I was afraid that I had acted out the awful thoughts in my head, in a moment of mania because my morals, values and heart do not align with abuse of any kind, especially to children. My niece is my everything, and I know I would never want harm to come to her in any way, shape or form. I love her endlessly. I am having therapy, but have only had a couple of sessions. But, I cannot shake the 'what if'. I am tortured over trying to remember what it was I did that made my heart drop, but I can't, and its getting fuzzier and fuzzier the more I try to remember. Could anyone offer any advice on this please? Thank you.

I legit can’t get offf chat gbt . I go all the time for reassurance .

Does anyone want to actually be friends? Id love to have a few friends to talk to maybe a group chat or something

My boyfriend choked me last night to the point my throat hurts . He pulled my hair , I did slap him early yesterday but it was because he hurt my feelings and he clearly didn’t care , I apologized soon after and after that he disrespected me and he took my phone and texted my ex’s and disrespected them

If you have been thinking about looking into therapy but you haven't yet, what's holding you back? Maybe the support of the community can help you take that step to feeling better!