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working to conquer OCD
Hi everyone, I’m new to the community. I was diagnosed with OCD just a couple of months ago and have been doing some reading and other research to try and understand the disorder. With this, I have been actively seeing a great therapist who has been helpful to build tools to deal with my intrusive thoughts ( contamination OCD is my worst theme). Do help learn to deal with the compulsions, I start on Sertraline or “Zoloft” I believe since November 2024. Currently I’m on 50mg and have been doing this for just over a month. My question for those who are also taking Sertraline and it has been successful, how do you know it has really provided a benefit and how long did it take to get there? I sometimes feel the medication works, and sometimes I feel it doesn’t (maybe that’s my OCD trying to mess with things). Thanks!
Im tired of knowing that people have blocked me on NOCD for my pocd / real events ocd posts... Im tired of knowing that I have real events that are POCD related... Im tired of getting intrusive thoughts and false memories of the worst case scenario for my pocd and real events ocd being true... Im so tired of it all...
I had a very bad session with a therapist today (NOT FROM NOCD). She basically told me I can’t be helped without medication, said I am too needy and if I keep being needy, people will continue to leave me, and my past trauma from relationships is my fault. I then had a second session with my old therapist who helped process and explain that OCD is lifelong and some people manage it but others have flare ups and I think I’m having a bad flare up (a month long basically) and that I may need medication which I’m terrified to go back on. Does it get better? Will I need meds? I’m scared. I don’t want to get worse and I don’t want these thoughts to scare me.
I realize this may not work for everyone, particularly those who are struggling with moral or existential forms of OCD, but as someone struggling with relationship OCD, here’s my proposition and what’s worked- 1. ERP and resisting compulsions involves intentionally exposing yourself to distress and not trying to do anything about it, but just sit with it. It is a fundamentally ascetic and meditative practice. 2. Resisting compulsions also means overcoming your bodily desire (because more than anything OCD is a nervous system response, not a rational one) for relief from distress, and instead aligning yourself with a higher principle that overcomes your temporal state. 3. OCD also operates similarly to addiction, and recovery outcomes for addicts are significantly improved through belief in a higher power. Higher power is actually one of the core elements of AA programs because it makes self discipline a lot easier. 4. ERP/CBD is effective, in part, because it already fits within the psychology of someone with OCD. What I mean by this is that it involves homework, specific procedures done at regular intervals, intense self discipline, and is overall pretty formulaic/ritualistic/somatic in nature. And we know that it works, and this method of addressing OCD tends to really excite and appeal to those who suffer with it. We act like the totality of OCD psychology is bad, but it also seems to be the key to reversing OCD, and may be a kind of superpower when properly utilized. 5. We have countless religious traditions that are thousands and thousands of years old which have developed techniques and rituals precisely for what OCD recovery needs- Getting out of a reactive state, getting into a state of gratitude and meditation, developing ascetic skills to overcome temptation (compulsions), being okay with uncertainty, creating a place of inner peace and compassion, having a system of accountability and reminders which keep you from slipping back into compulsive patterns, and doing all of this in community with people who experience the same struggle. So far, religion has been *the most* helpful thing I’ve done for my OCD. Here’s how this has played out in my own life: -Hesychastic prayer. This is an Eastern Orthodox tradition where you project the Jesus prayer, in repetition, channeling it not just from the mind or mouth but from the heart. It is deeply psychosomatic, with the goal of creating ego death and achieving a state of seeing God in all things. It creates a calm, warm feeling in my chest that feels identical to a psychedelic afterglow. It takes me out of my head and into my body, and the first time I tried it, with a prayer candle lit beside me, I experienced very rapid relief and was able to sleep for the first time without having any nightmares. I now do this consistently, along with other kinds of prayer and hymn recitation, and gratitude before meals, and it’s something I genuinely enjoy and look forward to. Since doing it, my compulsions have gone done by like 70%. Every time I feel myself slipping into compulsions, instead of doing them, I pause and pray. Prayer fills me with warmth, gratitude, and comfort. I feel connected to something greater than myself, my body becomes calm, my heart stops racing, and afterwards, I no longer feel compelled to perform my compulsions, because I know that it is harmful to myself and those around me, and that God is watching over me guiding me to act in a more thoughtful and wise way. This has single-handedly brought me more long term relief than any other OCD technique or treatment has. Not only has it relieved my OCD, but I have so much more energy, motivation, and self discipline in other areas of my life. It’s like I can feel my neurochemistry balance itself in real time. I’m eating healthier, my relationships are richer, I’m a better student, I feel more creatively inspired, and I have so much more self discipline to resist habits that are bad for me. I hope this may be helpful to anyone else who might be struggling. I’ve searched online and there’s really no information out there that I could find on religious ritual being an effective OCD treatment, but it’s been completely revolutionary in my life.
I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.
I cant get over this thought that is messing my recovery up so much. it was “if you dont act on your thoughts this will never go away” which led to thoughts like if i even wanted to get better, if i even want my life back, if i even WANTED this to go away, etc. im scared. im confused. is this normal? am i gonna have to act on this stuff now? im mainly concerned about my family. i dont wanna hurt them. this disease is horrible. this subtype is horrible. i love my family. why would i want to hurt them? im so afraid this is it for me. i try to do what everyone tells me. ignore the thought, let it sit, sit with the uncertainty/discomfort but the anxiety doesn’t go away. this thought keeps coming back with a vengeance. i thought i was making great progress but im back where i was. i ruminate about this 24/7 and i dont know how to stop. we tried sitting on the couch together last night and it felt like i was RESISTING hurting them. im in constant awareness that i can act on these anytime and it hinders my daily life and work so much. everytime i talk to anyone in my family i feel things like i shouldnt be talking to them if im gonna hurt them and i dont deserve to be around them. i feel like i dont deserve to be alive, i dont deserve to be happy, and i dont deserve to be comfortable. i feel like a psycho whos never gonna get to live life with a husband and family. i feel like i don’t deserve my sweet boyfriend. i dont want my thoughts to latch onto him. this is my mind when i wake up, when i try to go about my day, and when i go to sleep. it feels like it just wont dissipate regardless of what i do. the cycle never ends. its been 4 MONTHS. what the fuck do i do anymore
my appointment with the psychiatrist is months away and still need to confirm everything but after talking with my therapist last night I just feel even more scared. Like scared I'm not going to provide enough info and then she'll tell me that nothing is wrong then all of this is for nothing. Of course, id love for there to be nothing wrong with me and to feel none of these things that have been bothering for so long. But the fear of being told that there isn't when its causing so much worry... it's making me really anxious. But it also makes me feel guilty because I feel like I'm just looking for attention or making something out of nothing. Even though I know very well it isn't nothing. I know that people sometimes take years or even decades to get help or get a diagnosis that actually fits what they've experiencing and im scared of that too.
It's been more than two weeks im obsessing over social media especially my classmate who have freedom to do whatever like wearing revealing clothes be on social media. I've been buying clothes to do exactly like her which I really don't want to do it. But still I planning when to wear and when is the perfect timing. Also even if I wore ut my picture looks ugly then I might pan to do other day. The thing is I'm continually thinking when and how especially when your family member are lil strict. I'm think I ng continually which is effecting my studies alsoeven if I job I still plan when what if I didn't got time. I'm fedup I want to be happy and stay happy. I can't do this anymore because i can't have anxiety due to my heart problems. Plz anyone help me I will be so greatful. Plz and plz.
I have now been blocked by someone on NOCD who reassured me and comforted me... Im genuinely done... im tired... im so so tired... i dont know if they think im a P or a MAP now... Im genuinely just done... Im done believing in happiness... Im done believing that good things can happen... because even those who cared about me are blocking me on NOCD... im done... Im done...
I genuinely feel so alone and miserable... i had to miss out on an exam because of how severe my pocd got... im currently sick with a fever... and right now my pocd and real events ocd is telling me that im a MAP and a P because of my real events that are pocd related... and people have blocked me on NOCD... so that makes it worse for me... I get scared that Ill be cancelled and demonized because of my real events OCD and POCD situations... i dont ever want to be a MAP or a P in any way... and it legitimately scares me because the last thing i want is to be a P or a MAP...
Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. I’ve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing it’s not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when there’s a male and a female in a picture I can’t stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute they’re naked I’m fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so I’m wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I don’t see her as beautiful because she’s not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude that’s more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
I’m struggling so much, I don’t know what’s changed. I was doing so well for a solid two months and now it’s been over a month of just my lowest point. My bf has gotten upset at how much I do compulsions and it’s taxing him too. I can’t imagine how hard it is to be my partner right now. I feel exhausted I’m tired of my OCD finding new things to obsess or worry over. I’m so TIRED of getting stuck on technicalities. I’m so exhausted with the constant intrusive thoughts and intrusive thinking. I’m so sick of how compulsive I get when I’m so riddled with anxiety. I don’t want to keep pushing. It feels pointless if my life is going to be a constant loop of ups and extreme lows. I feel like such a disgusting, embarrassing person. I don’t want love because I don’t feel like I deserve it. I don’t want patience or understanding because it makes me feel so guilty. Like no one is understanding how bad of person I could truly be. I’m so lost and tired of this
this past month ive been feeling grossly anxious because sometimes I feel like my gf is ugly. im so ashamed of this and i just wish this could stop, I hate it so deeply. there is this interview my lover did in the middle of the street and in the video she doesn't look her best and i know it's normal not to always look DASHING and angles can sometimes make u look a bit different but my anxiety stems from the fact that i think she looks a little less flattering because her double chin looks more prominent than it usually does irl. my lover has a double chin no matter their weight and i don't mind, i don't think it's ugly or that she should lose weight, I find her cute and i don't think that one has to be skinny to be beautiful, I find that very stupid. and yet I feel like she looks less flattering because of how her double chin looks in the video and that makes me feel HORRIBLE, cus she always has a double chin so i shouldnt feel like that for a trait she already possess. what if she gains weight and her double chin will actually look more prominent ? it would be disgusting if i found her less pretty only because of that. I shouldn't think like this, her double chin doesn't make her less pretty i should love her regardless. i feel so gross. ive been watching that interview on loop because i Just want to feel like she's pretty no matter what. i hate this i don't know what to do.
so. oh lord. half my ocd symptoms could be autism. (not that im looking for a triple diagnosis including adhd, its just interesting to explore) this little ol rabbit hole started with my friend, who happens to be autistic and passionate about how their own condition works, when they started slowly easing the convo into an autism screening and by the time i realized what he was doing it was “oh my god ur kinda right i might be wrong for denying all this time that i could have autism” always thought my experience with texture/sensory as a toddler (and now) was ocd, because thats mainly what made adults call me ocd, more blatant ocd signs aside (such as touching things “just right”, ordering items etc) wondered why i was like that when theres not even a *direct* link between ocd and sensory issues (not the same as somatic ocd) thought i just happen to be an extremely sensitive person since i was born, now realizing that couldve been a sign of autism, along side many more “quirks” ive always had anyone with autism and ocd that can tell me what their experience is like? what about when u were children? especially if u snuck under the radar until u were older, my parents have said only a few times in the moment that i remind them of an autistic kid but dont think i have it
I’ve had this feeling all day that I’m just gonna lose control because I’m not checking how I feel. I had this thought like oh well you wouldn’t be brushing your teeth or eating if you was gonna act on it and then I felt relief for a bit and now I’ve started getting thoughts like what’s the point in cleaning or eating if you’re gonna act on it & now I feel confused?? What’s going on
Does it help with the thoughts?how's ur experience with it?
I’ve tried living in the uncertainty today & kept myself busy but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m about to lose control & act on my thoughts. I keep feeling like I need to check in to see how I feel & keep my self safe & when I’m near my trigger it feels like I’m being pulled into doing it & feels like I want to but I’m not using compulsions. My thoughts feel like my own & feeling like I’ll be like this forever. Can someone relate or give advice 😩
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