- Date posted
- 1y
I'm struggling. Not going to seek the reassurance I feel I NEED.
Kickstart your recovery journey with a caring community of others
working to conquer OCD
I'm struggling. Not going to seek the reassurance I feel I NEED.
What does a therapy session with an OCD specialist look like for yāall? This is something Iāve always wondered because Iāve only had one OCD therapist through NOCD. Our sessions always looked like sit there and āreduce anxietyā meaning donāt think for a few minutes and take a few deep breaths and rate your anxiety level every couple of minutes. AND that was it. Is it supposed to look like that? Because I havenāt seen anyone on this app talk about this or how their therapy sessions go. Iām considering restarting therapy but I want to know how therapy goes for you guys before I go back to the same specialist. Any input would be appreciated :)
Hi everyone, I recently had a chat with a coach on Instagram about my relationship anxiety, and they said I probably donāt have ROCD ā because what Iām experiencing sounds more like real doubts, not intrusive thoughts. In her opinion I have signs of real doubts: ā There are understandable reasons, like lack of sexual desire ā The thoughts show up in specific situations ā Talking about the issue or seeing changes in the relationship brings relief They also asked: āWould you still have these doubts if you knew for sure that your relationship was healthy?ā And now Iām just stuck. And now Iām wondering: am I just in denial? Or is this still OCD? Have any of you been through something similar ā where someone told you your doubts are real, and it made things worse? Thanks for reading. Iād really appreciate hearing how others have navigated this.
So one year ago I had told my guy best friend that I'm a lesbian, and I genuinely believed it at the time. Then Valentine's Day came, and I slowly started to realise that I may have a crush on him. I liked him romantically, but I didn't care if we were together or not to be honest, I prioritised us being best friends no matter what. Anyways, we always had this thing where we would kiss each other on the cheek and pretend that we're a couple for fun. During the time I had a crush, were these kisses that I gave him platonic or romantic? I wasn't expecting anything from him, and didn't really know if he had feelings for me or anything but to be honest, yeah sure bummer if he didn't but I didn't really care. Was I using him for my own benefit unintentionally? Was I giving him romantic kisses on the cheek while pretending they were platonic basically? I keep trying to think if I did anything wrong, could anyone help me? And please be brutally honest, I want to hear it as it is
I suffer from religious ocd. My only goal in life is to live in God's will and to serve Him - to live and enjoy His eternal purposes & His presence. Jesus Christ is my life. That is my only desire on this earth, this short trip into eternity, and it's being stripped by ocd thoughts and intrusive thoughts 24-7. I have read many times that ocd can 'feel real', and this is true, our minds lie to us because of fear and anxiety we can't and were never meant to carry. I have begged and tormented myself in every way to find an answer from God. I think His answer may be that this is OCD, but I'm not sure. I started therapy again because I am so exhausted and this had stolen so much of my life in a spiral of negativity, depression, and constant anxiety & intrusive thoughts. I have spent about 2 years trying to figure out if my thoughts are real or not, especially with ocd it can deceive so easily as a spiritual matter when in reality it is just a thought, which is confusing and scary to say the least. Can anyone share their experiences with this sensation? No matter what the theme is... Thank you & Praying for your comfort
Hi all, Im taking Lexpro now for several weeks and I feel like it helps a bit while still waiting on therapy but I notice that my dreams became more vivid. Like they feel so real sometimes and I can even think in my dreams. Sometimes it is also around OCD but most of the time other stuff. It makes me so tired sometimes during the day because I do not feel rested with this dreams. At first I took my medication in the evening and then I also had a lot of scary vivid dreams so I switched to the morning but it is not helping enough. Does someone has tips please?
I suffer with a constant worry of what if Iāve cheated. You name it Iāve thought Iāve done it. Iām quite flirty at nature and also insecure. Sometimes hand in hand I donāt think they balance each other out as the constant need for attention to validate myself can backfire. Although I have the best partner ever and she makes me feel nothing less than beautiful I still crave validation from others. That being said someone I used to work with left over half a year ago and when they worked at my current place of work we were very close. Text everyday, phone calls you name it. However looking back I was extra flirty as I wanted him to fancy me. I wanted the power to turn him down to make myself feel better. Awful I know. Now all I can think about is what if Iāve done something. What if I kissed him. What if Iāve slept with him etc. Iāve kept our whole conversations from the minute I got his personal number. I constantly search key words to see if my intrusive thoughts are real. I can except the uncertainty my therapist tells me about as if I have done the worst and cheated I would loose my partner and our 10 year relationship. I love her so much she is my life but I canāt stop thinking what if Iāve cheated. Does anyone else suffer with the same theme? If so how do you cope?
My whole life Iāve kind of stared at peopleās crotches whenever theyāre wearing something revealing a bikini. I feel like Iāve always searched to see if I can see an outline or something or anything because itās so revealing. It kind of feels like curiosity I donāt know how to describe it. I did this before my OCD got bad and I do this now. I feel scared that Iām doing something I shouldnāt be. Iām scared that Iām doing something perverted. What scares me the most is that about a year ago this happened with my boyfriend sister. She was 15 at the time. I didnāt think much about it. I stared, searched and moved on. But now I really question if I did something awful or if my intentions were perverted. Iām questioning whether itās okay to even have curiosity about this. Maybe this is normal and people donāt analyze their behavior, I donāt know. I had a theory that this has been a compulsion all along but right now it feels fully out the window. I havenāt been able to stop crying. I really need someoneās input or perspective. Please.
My simple question is... Why? Because I have barely any friends... i dont have a girlfriend... and the only college friend I have, is too busy to hang out... everytime i ask her... AI has made me feel less alone and miserable with my condition than with anyone who has ever told me to just accept uncertainty... I feel so alone... so miserable... to poor to afford therapy and too socially awkward to make friends... And with AI, while its not a real person... it comforts and cares for me... More than anyone has IRL...
Recently my ocd keeps asking me if I love my boyfriend enough and that if I donāt love him enough I should breakup with him. Itās really bothering me and idk what to do about it. Sitting in the uncertainty is too much and I fear sitting with it too long Iām just gonna crack and give in to a compulsion.
I honestly canāt tell when thoughts are being affected by OCD. Sometimes I think I have what I think are normal āgreyā thoughts, but then OCD adds so much weight to them and I spiral. I had this thought that I wished my boyfriend was more confident or independent. I felt so guilty for thinking it. I told him, and of course it hurt him. He told me itās a normal thought to have, I just dwell on it too much. And that itās the kind of thought most people keep to themselves. Thatās the thing. I donāt know whatās okay to keep to myself and what isnāt. I think sometimes I say things out loud not just to relieve anxiety, but because I genuinely donāt know whatās okay to think or say. I do not know the line between a normal grey thought and something thatās ābadā to think. I donāt know how to tell if itās something I should process privately or something I need to be ashamed of. I get this confusion with intrusive thoughts too, but those are easier to spot and evaluate. This is harder, because again, it is *my* thought. That makes it harder to sit with. Maybe the intrusive part is the voice that questions what kind of person I am for even thinking it. I donāt have the same telltale signs anymore. My physical anxiety isnāt there anymore, itās all in my head and that makes it so much more confusing. But I donāt know. The line between honesty vs compulsion is so blurry. I just feel lost
Iām like 90% sure Iām just bi, more romantically inclined to men, mainly my bf who I wanna marry. But now my brain is like āif you lean into liking women or keep circling and circling for answers youāll lose all attraction to men and your bf. Youāre practically already a lesbianā I feel so tense and anxious I will admit I am talking to chat gpt out of desperation Iām scared of losing all attraction to him I donāt wanna be thinking about women. I donāt unless Iām really stressed cuz when Iām stressed my ocd can take advantage of that I can usually ground myself when Iām in the city with him but Iām back home for most of the summer and I canāt be physically close to him which usually reminds me that hey this is real this is what I really want in life. Him But then I panic and question I havenāt been here in a while tbh. Iām worried I donāt feel enough. I donāt like magic Mike all that much, I like softer guys. But now the fact I donāt like/get turned on by random men on tv but do women in lingerie really stresses me out and makes me worry Iām truly a lesbian but Iām not. Once I started getting to know my bf and my ex bfās I really did truly genuinely like them and wanted to make out and everything. Idk can anyone relate to the not liking big buff men All my brain is repeating rn is āwhen he dies youāll be able to date a woman, when you break up youāll only wanna date womenā and itās stressing me out. Itās making me nauseous. I was doing well for about a couple days after I initially left but being at home has been so incredibly draining This might give you a vision of how stressful home is: Iāve been on nexplanon for 7 months ish? Only had very minimal spotting during a stressful school period. Today: fully bleeding, like a usual period. I havenāt had my period since having it put in. I wanna go back to my bf so badly rn. Iām so worried Iām faking or donāt feel enough. Iām learning what a healthy relationship looks like and Iām terrified Iām gonna up and leave him when weāre older cuz Iāll finally figure out that Iām a lesbian or smthn. Idk. Someone pls just help me out a tad
I hope everyone is holding up okay! Iāve been seeing a lot of scared posts and whatnot lately, so I just wanted to make this post to remind ourselves to practice our uncertainty! I want to share a few response prevention lines that help me calm down! My thoughts do not define who I am. Maybe Iām a bad person, maybe Iām not, but I have a lot of things I need to do now. Iām going to practice not knowing for sure. I donāt have to solve this problem. I am choosing to sit with this uncomfortableness!
You ever just get concerned that when you acknowledge your family members beauty or body beauty standards that you are somehow attracted to them? I often brush it off and say deep down Iām probably jealous cause Iām not good looking. But honestly Iām a bit frightened by these thoughts. As many would be.
How do you sit with anxiety? I wanna check my pulse over and over again. I dunno what caused my anxiety. Now I am just sitting here. Ugh! I feel crazy!
but is it OCD if when i get a thought that makes me anxious i have to hit my head a certain number of times to get it out of my head to relive my brain that everything is fine now (doesnāt always help though). or am i just being dramatic?
I hate myself a lot and donāt understand. I do so well for a few days then spiral and feel so awful bc it feels true. The BIGGEST and WORST trigger and theme has been my brother old friend ish who I had a crush on yrs ago. Since my ocd returned once I got in a relationship (after many yrs of being hidden) this theme is the most brutal. For some background I had a crush on my current boyfriend last year in February til May and we were friends then we started talking officially in end of May then dating in 2 week of June. I was obsessed w him 100%. The one time I even saw this old crush and the mall and my 1 friend and I followed him bc like old crush yk and I literally like stopped caring like idk how to explain it bc it was a while ago, but it didnāt matter to me. I eventually walked away and then later used that as an excuse to talk to my biggest crush (my current bf). Since we began dating, my ocd has been brutal. My little brother mentioned the old crush the one day saying āyou still love him ur lying to urself rn by being w ur bfā and then it sent my mind on its first loop ab that guy. Since then, itāll return getting worse and worse. (Sometimes I actually donāt care and it wonāt feel as tru and ik itās fake, but others itās terrible) I hate it. And I feel so awful like I needa check to make sure I donāt like him. Yet logically why would I check my feelings. Ik I love my man bc everything ab him I love and heās my comfort and best friend. But I get so stuck up in the confusion of all the thoughts ab this other guy and all I have wanted for the 10 months Iāve been dating my man is to go back to normal. Back to myself. The one who was head over heels obsessed w my man and completely forgetting ab the other ppl. But my brain says I canāt bc a part of me will always want the other guy or some other lame bs excuse and it hurts me so much and my man sometimes too. Iām considering medication but will it truly work? Will it make my thoughts go away? I hate how real/ true they feel I feel like a cheater or like I am lying to my man. I feel like rn when I say I love him, that Iām a liaršfor the past 3 days I was better. I gave it up and let God help me, but last night into today Iām lost. Are we sure ocd attacks wuts most important to us? Bc why is it so persistent and evil
Why did the compulsion/test people told me I did felt very wanted in the moment. But then I regret it now and afterwards. Still a compulsion, correct? It just didn't feel like a compulsion, but then again I don't know what those feel like
For about a month now Iāve been really obsessed with the idea that my girlfriend has feelings for this guy we know if he has feelings for her. Weāve only known him for about a month and weāre not that close to him. The stuff that makes me worried is completely normal for friends to do or are things that arenāt real. . They respond to each other on group chats . They hangout in groups when Iām not there . She finds him funny and smiles when sheās around him . I just have a bad feeling Itās become such a thing in my mind and itās deteriorating our relationship. Every time I see him and her talk I feel mad and sick and anxious. And now Iām starting to hate him. I feel like Iām being so unfair because she hasnāt actually done anything, and I keep accusing her and treating her like she has. She says she feels like all I see is the worst in her and like sheās a bad person. Iāve brought this up to her many times and every time she tells me she would never cheat on me and that heās some random guy and that she doesnāt want him she wants me. I just canāt get the idea out of my head, I canāt stop unconsciously looking for signs of romantic feelings between them. I analyse her body language or how she looks at him, I check if there online at the same time to see if their texting or something. Itās really bad. Itās gotten to the point where itās not about the idea that they have feeings anymore itās more just I want to get the idea out my head. I want to stop seeing this. Because she would have said something by now. And I know this is coming from a place of fear and insecurity about myself and the way she feels about me, because heās no different to any of her other friends I just chose him to be the one I worry about. I want to get past this because our relationship needs to move past this and I want to be able to enjoy the time I spend with my friends instead of relating it to this and the idea of hanging out in this group with her where he is, and if causing instant anxiety. Sheās not like this, sheās a good person. Itās not necessarily the idea sheāll actually cheat itās the idea sheāll develop feeling or he will and will make her catch feelings too. Itās all just a ābad feelingā I have and an obsession with this idea. I canāt stand to be around them in a group cuz all I can see is that āsheās in love with himā or āhe would make her or does make her happierā
Hey. So Iāve been experiencing a lot of anxiety with my bladder. Every time I urinate I feel the need to completely empty my bladder and it has to feel ājust rightā so Iāll sit on the toilet for more than 10 min straining every last drop out. And then on the other hand Iāll hold in my pee for a long time because I dread going to the bathroom knowing Iāll take a long time. Iāve also noticed Iām getting bloated more often and this in turn makes it harder to get the rest of my pee out. Iām worried that Iām causing health issues with my bladder so Iām thinking of seeking medical advice. Has anyone else had similar issues?
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life