Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I want to share my HOCD journey sorry if it’s a long read. I started having issues at age 13, didn’t know what it was because this was pre internet, I am 46 now. I finally got diagnosed and treated at age 23. Medication did the trick for me for about 20 years. I reduced the meds and relapsed. I have had symptoms again off and on for the last couple of years and had a setback a week ago when there was a drag queen at a party that I went to.....I smoked that night for the first time in years and the combination threw me for a loop. I called my psych and have gotten my meds adjusted and signed up to start ERP on Monday. I have never done it and felt it was time to kick this thing in the teeth once and for all. I know it seems like the end to many of you, but just persevere it will get better. I have dealt with this off and on my entire life, but I also have a degree, a good job, am happily married to a VERY understanding woman and have 8 wonderful children. I am in a valley at the moment but I’ll be damned if I am going to back down to this disease. We can all get better with time meds and therapy. God Bless

Aside from my OCD which has already turned me into a horrible human being, I have racist tendencies that I don't know how to unlearn and I just generally feel like I've always been an absolute scumbag......I'm beyond help at this point

Looking at things existentially ruins things so much. I bought my first house and i used to think getting my own home would be amazing...chill out area, cosy, sense of achievement etc. But when now i've bought it its realistically a building made of a stone which most people have, theres literally nothing special about it. Same with getting a new car its like regardless of what it looks like i dont care, it gets me from A to B why would i want to pay 20k more for a better looking car? I look at everything this way, i'm not asking for reassurance but is that a thing other people do?

Reasons why I’m scared I fee like this will change the way I look at women forever Scared to tell my parents how I feel because my dad is a pastor and Me having HoCd will probably mean I have the devil in me Scared because I’m From South Africa and probably no one has ever went to a therapist about this before Scared because I can’t afford a therapist Scared because I’m not fully diagnosed of OCD and they might just say I’m Gay Scared because my dream of Having a wife and children might not come to a reality Scared that I might just start drinking everyday to numb the pain ☹️

Boyfriend has been ghosting me for 3 days now after I told him he wasn't as affectionate and he said he was depressed. I texted him to ask if he was okay and haven't heard back, but sometimes he has bad service. That was yesterday. He has retweeted things on Twitter so I'm not sure if I should message him there. The only times we haven't really talked are when we've broken up before and this is really painful.

Hi there! Does anyone else experience real event OCD? My days lately are filled with (sometimes) crippling guilt and shame over real things that have happened in the past. These are all things that are relatively minor in the grand scheme of things. I’ve talked to friends/family/therapists about them and I’m reassured they aren’t “that bad” but my mind can’t seem to let them go. Anyone else dealing with this? Any tips for forward progress? Much love to you all. ❤️

Contamination ocd is awful. I have a deep fear of sperm being everywhere! I’m so so so so scared and terrified that I’ll touch something/someone with sperm on it/them and then masterbate/finger myself or wipe after using the bathroom and get pregnant. I’m terrified to touch anything in stores, doctor offices, ect because of that very reason. I’m terrified to touch anywhere near my vagina, terrified I’ll have sperm on my hands from touching something and get pregnant I feel like giving up. I can’t be happy anymore because of this.

Will i ever be normal again? Do i have OCD or maybe im crazy. Everything started 2 month ago i have happy,one night i couldn't get erection with my gf,we are together 8 yr. Two days after that i achieved an erection for short time,it did't bother me to much. But after that my sister has come to visit us with her newborns i have happy to see them. And bang i got a thought about pedophilia with my sisters daughter. I run away from home and i get a panick attack. And aftet that nothing i avoid them,god i love them so much im uncle for the firs time but i can't be near them im scared. Now every time when i want sex with my gf im scared what if a image come to my brain about my sisters daughter. Or when my friends talk about cute girls or sex my brain automatic create a image of my sister daughter. I know i love her like uncle but why this. And now after 2 month i have still thoughts but now i don't get anxiety any more. What is wrong with me maybe im crazy now,why i don't feel anxiety anymore i don't whant this thoughts anymore. Pls guys if someone know what is wrong with me i want a answer pls

Hi I have suffered with depression/ocd/anxiety for a long time and was wondering if anyone else feels the same or knows how’s to help a big factor in my life that is affecting me which is my mindset as I am always constantly worrying/thinking and mainly I never know If i feel things or want things like I can’t tell if what I’m thinking is what I truly want/think or is my mental illness making me thinking these things so I am always confused and second guessing myself when I have bad thoughts or different thoughts hard to explain lol as these thoughts I get I have told people them and then destroys those relationships ect as I can’t help to say to people that I am really close to

Adults with ROCD or HOCD: Have you experienced OCD ruining your sex life? I obsess about how I’m a terrible person and that I must not have feelings for my boyfriend because I avoid sex. Any tips on how to work through avoiding sex? I know it’s just a form of avoidance but sometimes it feels so real.

Should I disregard this as ocd? I’m not looking for reassurance I’m looking for support and advice I’ve been stressing for months over symptoms being related to STDs which in my head would result in my partner thinking I cheated and leaving me. I’ve had issues with my eye (conjunctivitis then a blocked gland. It’s legitimately possible to get conjunctivitis from STDs which is why I made the connection) I still have the blocked gland in my eye and everytime I go near my eye I wash my hands “incase it is an Std and I infect my partner and myself and he leaves. I’m terrified of not washing my hands after I scratch my face, ESPECIALLY near my eye, my makeup sponges feel contaminated and if I cry and the tears go in my mouth I’m convinced I got chlamydia or gohnorea in my mouth and I’ll transfer it to him and he will think I’m a wrong un The optician says it’s just a blocked gland and if she thought it was std related she’d send me to the clinic herself, but I can’t stop thinking it’s possible she’s wrong and I’ll infect myself and my partner I want to disregard this but I haven’t had my eye swabbed so I can’t

Does anyone recall a time where intrusive thoughts didnt bother you then all of a sudden they bothered you and you couldn’t tell the difference between your memories and intrusive thoughts.

i hate hocd. i literally saw a video of a guy and i thought he was attractive. nothing about him seemed girly. but then i noticed he was wearing a shirt with a rainbow across it and i was like omg is this really just a masculine guy and i got freaked out and went through his whole account until i made sure it’s actually a boy

Ok. Rocd with some actual problems mixed in. I need to vent because I'm about to explode on my boyfriend. He introduced me to some of his friends and they didn't make a great impression on me. They were rude and made me really uncomfortable. I told him, but he's still really pushing me to hang out with them. Either I never really knew him or he's a completely different person around them, but it makes me really anxious. He used to be different, but he's changing and becoming kind of self absorbed. I'm a really sentimental person and the little things mean a lot to me. I've kept the birthday card he gave me because I felt that the message inside was really special. I gave him a birthday card and put a lot of heart into picking out and writing something that I felt was special too about a month back. I went to his house and I saw the card on the ground outside. I ignored him most of car ride home because I feel unloved, but then I just let it go. Everything always means more to me than it does him. I feel like he just uses me for sex, but I know that's not true. Idk maybe it is. I want to scream at him and cry, and curl up in a ball but I've just kept my mouth shut and talked to him like normal today because I'm a fucking mentally deficient pushover. I'm so tired. I can't balance everything. I'm falling apart. It's no wonder that he doesn't like me I can't do anything for myself anymore. I used to be confident. I don't want to come off as "crazy". How do I fix this before it gets blown way out of proportion. I'm not breaking up with him at the moment, so please don't suggest that I do. Should I confront him? If I should how can I do so and maintain the peace as much as possible in the process. I would really value the opinion of a guy on this.

I have OCD Harm does anybody want to share?

Hi, I have Harm OCD and have Kaiser. They have been near impossible to work with and it’s been dragged out for months. Kaiser refuses to acknowledge that Harm OCD even exists and no one I’ve talked to even know what it is. Does anyone know any good OCD specialists in the Los Angeles area? I would like to go some place that someone recommends or has had experience with. Please help! -Tricia

I feel like my OCD and fear of germs controls my life. It’s starting to keep me from work, taking care of my children and my husband is at a loss for helping me. We just recently lost our health insurance so it’s hard for me to find decent help.

I can't take hocd anymore , i just want to cry

This gonna be so cringy but anyone else just not feeling vibes no more? Like imagine its dark outside and its raining and u listeninn to music? That shit used to feel like the shit but now its just anxious and not comfy and cozy at all. Or like long carrides where you just listen to music and like imagine scenarios that will never come true? All that i cant feel anymore. Its just emptyness, im just debating wether im gay or not the whole time so like my carrides are filled with anxiety instead of the chilness.It all gives me major anxiety trying to be like who i used to be but deep inside i know its not genuine. I wish it was real and i could just feel vibes again like summer vibes or when ur hangingn with friend vibes. I dont even feel the christmas vibe anymore u kno its just all so dark. Like is this ever going to come back? I really want it back.

I feel bad in my chest I cant cry