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the NOCD Community

Anyone have any success with meds?

Anyone else with HOCD feel like they’re having a sexual response to every attractive person of the same sex that they see? This never happened to me before OCD.

Can someone help me a bit? Is it weird for someone who identified straight for most of their life had a crush on a fictional female androgynous character from a cartoon? She was the only girl I ever had an actual crush on. I'm feeling so out of place and I feel very gay. It feels very real and I can't fucking stand this at all. Idk what to do about this. I'm anxious, my heart is racing at the thought of her, imagining stuff feels good too. All things I've experienced mostly with boys but now I feel gay like maybe I was never attracted to boys at all. I'm so sorry that this had been my obsession for the past few posts but I can't somehow deal with this

SERIOUS trigger warning. am the worst person alive and feel like I’ve fooled everybody into thinking I’m better than I actually am as a person. My friend is also struggling with depression and anxiety and other life issues and he’s dumped on me a LOT in unhealthy ways over and over again. We have moved past that but he relies on a lot of other people when he shouldn’t, because people aren’t reliable. When he has some annoying behavior that’s not his fault and today I saw that he was in the ER last night. My mind went to “Was it a s*ic*de thing?” Or “is he being dramatic again?” Or “Was it a panic attack that got really bad?” Keep in mind that I’ve struggled with s*ic*de, being dramatic, and having panic attacks for much of my teen years. And I felt like I was disappointed when I was told it was just an elbow injury. Like I hoped he’d hurt himself because he annoys me. It didn’t feel like an intrusive thought but I believe that when this first started weeks ago it was intrusive thoughts that I was getting. Now my brain is like “Tell him your thought.” But I COULDNT tell him that!!? He’d actually spiral down and I’d break him and ruin his life and he might actually end his life!! I freaking HATE myself right now and like a phony. I don’t want him to die, but I’m struggling with being annoyed. And I try to avoid being annoyed because I have intrusive thoughts of harm. So what I’m saying is that when he first started annoying me, the thoughts were intrusive. But now I feel like I actually enjoy the thoughts and that they reflect a true desire of my heart. I don’t want to cause him that pain. And now I’m obsessing and thinking about people who bully and tell others to end their lives, etc. what the heck is wrong with me. The only thing in his control is his behavior and he’s not really working on it that much I don’t think and his mental condition is not his fault!!! What is WRONG WITH MY BRAIN?!?! How can God ever forgive me? I’ve had these thoughts before.

Is it really possible to screw up ur sexuality? Like everyrhinf was clear and good and normal and just so extremely good and i was happy with everything and then this crashed and i feel like it desdass ruined my hormones or something like idek whats going on? How is it that 2 years ago i look at harry styles and my heart jumps and i wanna be with him and my mind was healthy and clear and 2 years later i feel nothinggg for him my hearts empty i feel broken and empty. Why is it that i dont feel something that SHOULD be there

I just cant, who else just cant have fun? Like music friends and a party or sum doesnt get me in that mood anymore its just all the same feeling with hocd it gets sooo tiring like im mf done im so done i wanna feel shit again.. i aint even living at all im not living.

How to deal with rocd? It feels like im forcing it all the time and faking it towards him (maybe its because of the anxiety) and it makes me so hopeless. It feels like i just have to give up and im not capable of loving him. I don’t wanna give up and break up with him, but im exhausted.

What do you do to help bring yourself out of derealization or depersonalization?

Hi there! I’m seriously considering starting OCD medication treatment. I am particularly reluctant to psychiatric medication cause a very bad experience I personally had before (I think that a bad administration of medication is one of the main reasons of my OCD). My questions about are: does the medication affects your sexual life? Does medication changes who you are? Is anybody out there that has been involved in an OCD medication treatment and has fully recovered? What are the side effects? Thank you!!

I’m scared this is internalized homophobia and I know I’m gay but just denying it? Wth even is this anymore

I feel like my dog can sense the negative thoughts in my head. She was fine earlier today all over me and licking me and laying on my chest but a a few minutes ago she was in my room and kept staring at me and i patted my bed and told her she could come up if she wanted and she just continued to stare and i put my hand down by her and she didnt like me she just walked away. I've heard a lot about dogs being able to sense character and for me this has scared me into thinking she senses something that even I dont in myself. I'm so paranoid that I might be going insane cause of just that and irrational thoughts and instrusive ones and my entire body has felt hot all day idk if it's my anxiety or what but I feel like I'm losing it..

I feel gay. I physically feel gay. I’m so angry and wanna cry and hate this with a fucking passion. Why can’t I be straight. I want to be straight. I’m so scared I’m attracted to girls butts and always get intrusive images of grabbing them and squeezing them and they make me want to cry. What the actual fuck.

i’m so anxious I can’t take it i’m scared i’m going to be arrested even though I didn’t even do anything illegal (maybe????). I’m scared I did something bad but I forgot! I can’t do this anymore I don’t know how much longer I can put up with this shit anymore I hate my life and i’m not even an adult yet

I am a harm ocd sufferer,, i deal with constant fear and stress for many years cause of ocd. What is the lifespan for people suffering with ocd constant daily stress and depression.. i am 30 years old

I’m still scared I’m gay I’m scared to do stuff with another girl and I think it’s cause I don’t want to or I’m scared I’m going to like it? I don’t wanna :( This whole thing makes me sad (Also my ex and ex best friend I found out about their secret relationship last night)

When I feel that I have no control I want to kill myself

Has anyone had a partner that they didn’t like in the beginning of dating, but kept dating anyway and started to love them as a person, care deeply for them more than any other friend, want to be around them a lot...yet at the same time, not like them, feel no romance, but feel inner tension and frustration and want to run away? And when you would run away you’d be really sad and anxious you just lost the best person ever?

This is my first time using the app, I am a mother of a 30-year-old son who struggles with OCD/anxiety. This is all so foreign to me. I’m trying to educate myself and learn as much as I can to help him

When you have an intrusive thought/image and that same thought keeps coming into your mind even though you don’t want to ? it’s like it’s constantly there and I’m waiting on it or my mind is forcing it..OCD sucks and I know I’ve beat it so many times, it’s the same anxiety every time it returns

I don't have any memory of having attraction towards girls but my mind has made up scenarios I don't even know happened. Like I can remember all the times I had crushes on boys but I don't personally remember a time I liked girls. Now my brain has almost convinced me I'm bi/heteroflexible. Is this common? Can someone relate?