Welcome to
the NOCD Community

If you haven’t gotten therapy yet, please do it and don’t hold anything back. Humans weren’t made to solve everything on our own. We need interaction and support from other people.

I feel like i have gone insane. Sometimes when im just sitting with friends and theyre talking about stuff thats so pure and so normal to talk about and to think that thats all whats on their mind, i feel disgusted by myself. How did i get like this. I feel like im the psychopath person in my own skin when i sit with them. They talk about all this innocent things and i used to be like that too. I remember the days where i would think like a normal person and i cant tell by the way they communicate they dont have any weird thoughts or something that keeps them from being excited about their future. All the digusting thoughts in my head make me feel like im sick. Like im a psychopath like i am one of those crazy in their head persons. I just dont feel like a normal teenagergirl anymore and i miss having that lovely life i used To have. Being excited for the future, wanting to party and go out with boys. All those desires i dont have anymore and i want them back so bad because it made me happy.I have friends and they say theyre depressed which i do believe because some are on medication and stuff but they always have hope in the future. but for me its the whole future that scares me. I hate that i cant be myself and that i wont be the happy me when i grow up because thats litteraly living im gonna miss out on. Im litteraly gonna miss all the things i used to be so excitedd for. I cant even remember what those things are because all thats on my mind is this trash. I just need my innocent soul back, i feel like im poisoned with the thoughts ive had. Theyll never go

I feel like everyone here thinks im a creep because of my previous posts

The fact that I haven’t been In the mood to do anything sexual with my boyfriend just makes me even more worried and scared that I’m just lesbian at this point. I keep asking myself questions, but I just feel like lazy and stuff when it comes to doing sexual things now. I wasn’t like this before so idk what happened. No I’m not on medication, I don’t really have anxiety so idk why I’ve been feeling like this.

So I’m going to a new psychiatrist tomorrow and asking her to switch meds. I hear Zoloft is good? Anyone else have a good experience on Zoloft or any other med?

Hi everyone, I’ve never shared my ocd experience online before but am 24 yo and have suffered for 10 years. It takes many forms, ranging from hocd, pocd and rocd. I feel like the rocd is starting to affect me with anyone I become romantically involved with, whether or not we are officially a couple, just as soon as I start to feel so happy and excited it comes to ruin it. The obsessive doubts about my feelings and thoughts for the other person make me forget how to even act normal anymore towards them. I feel like every thing I do and say is overthought and fake. Desperate to have a relaxed and content relationship but this is continuously happening. I find this incredibly distressing and exhausting, anyone who feels this way please let me know. I feel so alone Thank you

Hi. I suffer from contamination ocd. I suffer from two chronic illnesses and, when I get sick (even from just a cold), it is magnified and takes an especially long time to recover. The ocd developed because I wanted to avoid aggravating my illness. I’m also very scared that what I’m feeling in my body isn’t normal and constantly wonder if something is wrong medically. I understand that with my illnesses (POTS and hyper-mobility syndrome), I feel a lot of weird sensations, but I’m always afraid I won’t be able to tell if something is going seriously wrong. I get a lot of panic attacks, wash my hands to the point of bleeding, and am constantly cleaning myself. I am tired of letting this control me, and I want to get better.

I have been clinically diagnosed with OCD (contamination, relationship, sexual orientation). I have to pick up my mother in law from the airport today and I am dreading it. I’ve thought about nothing else for the last 4 days since she asked me to pick her up. I’m doing it because I know it will be an exposure. But I am so worried she has been sick or currently has symptoms. My big thing is sickness that causes throwing up (emetaphobia). Anyone else?

Hello everyone, so I'm slowly starting to get better in regards to dating. My ex and me broke up cause I just ran away and he had issues too, but he loves me and I love him so we are currently fwb. The issue I'm having is that ever since we dated or I'm trying to get close again; my brain brings up my old ex a lot or another ex. I was wondering if anyone has ever had their OCD use thoughts like mentioning the old ex's name or something against them?

Anyone ever try Trintellix for their anxiety/OCD? That’s the route I’m on right now.

So does anyone’s OCD not let them calm down? Because maybe because I’m trying to figure this out too much, but I’m always thinking I have random words that keep repeating in my head. Please help me science.

How do other people deal with dissociation (mainly dpdr ), does anyone here experience that or is it just me? I'll talk more in a post laterHow do other people deal with dissociation (mainly dpdr ), does anyone here experience that or is it just me? I'll talk more in a post later

My harm ocd is so focused on my mom and dad. They're literally the best. Anyone else? Sometimes I flares up with others but not nearly as much as with my family. I feel like such a pos

Suffering from fears of saying a racist word. My brain will keep repeating racist words and I check to make sure I am not saying the complete word like a break in the word and then I get compulsions fearing I did say it for example was humming a song and worried I said the lyrics aloud so i would repeat to prove I wasnt saying it and it makes me worry for example losing my job.

Genuinely think I might have undiagnosed BPD I just don’t want that label because it sounds FUCKIN insane “Personality disorder” haha nope I don’t wanna be abandoned as it is, the label would ironically leave me vulnerable to people leaving for having no personality yknow, unless it’s considered a fucking DISORDER

Man I’ve had a tough 8 months, I have HOCD and it’s been hell literally hell. I feel like I want to be straight and that I’ve been playing a character my whole life (15. Years old). I’ve only and ever had sexual/romantic feelings for girls and I love it. But these pst days my desire for women and to have a gf/wife is like mehhh. I was so happy before all this and I just don’t know if I’ve been in deep denial and that I’ve been playing a character (being straight) but not have had a single damn clue or sign that I was bi/gay before HOCD. Now it’s like it’s created a fake reality and it’s like rewrote me past. I feel like I’m not myself and that I won’t be the same. I also saw Aaron Hernandez and that he was gay and his dad thought he was homophobic and stuff, he looks straight as hell. I just I just don’t know anymore. Fuck my life man like what the fuck all my morals and my true self I thought has been like removed. So sad for me

Why does life sometimes not seem real? Like I’m in a dream or something? Like I was thinking if I were arrested it wouldn’t matter cause life isn’t real. I know it is but it just feels like that. Is this me going crazy or??

Lost my relationship, and now I feel like I’m walling off into a hard shell. I’ve cried a lot, been depressed, and not saying much, and I guess I feel since I live with other people that I have to be ‘stable’ by now. But it hasn’t even been a month yet. How do I stop this hardening?

Four years ago I started dating my bf when we were sophomores in high school. I am now a sophomore in college. My bf has some issues and would randomly start ignoring me but as he got closer to me, he stopped isolating himself. In the beginning of our relationship we engaged in some sexual activity and sexting. I was not used to it at all having never had a bf or been exposed to anything sexual before. A couple times we did sex acts in bathrooms or in my house. These events were not forced but I really felt pressured to do them. When my parents found my phone full of dirty talk it was extremely embarrassing. So the reason I give this background information is that I think it affected me sexually. I am still with the same boyfriend and we have grown very close. He always tries to make me comfortable and feels horrible that I have been deeply affected by the texts and bathroom incidents. Now I tend to avoid sex as much as I can and have a low sex drive. Earlier in the relationship I also noticed kissing started to feel different and I don’t know if that’s because ocd was making me overthink but to this day I always think should kissing feel like this. Anyway so I value this relationship so much taut in high school I would feel very very guilty when I even looked at another guy. I would have to confess to my bf. Eventually I was able to break that constant cycle of looking at a guy or thinking about one and then guilt and confess. What came next though was the thought that maybe I like women. At first it didn’t bother me much but now it is much worse. If I look at a women I don’t always confess but feel like I am living a lie by being with my bf. What makes it worse is the evidence I use to reason that it’s true. In the last year or so I am obsessed with looking at how pretty girls are on ig wnd in real life. I feel like I notice them and their looks so much more now. Also the fact that I am not rlly into sex seems like evidence that maybe it’s because u like girls. My attraction for my bf has gone down a lot and it wasn’t always like that. The kissing is an example. It was great in the beginning and now I just feel like it’s a lie. I know reassurance is not allowed but can anyone relate. I feel like I’m secretly lesbian and I’m just comfortable with my bf and don’t want to let him go for that reason. But I love him and these thoughts are driving me insane. I also worry am I just blaming ocd and I actually shouldn’t be with him and that I’m gay.

Worked with Dr. Steven Phillipson and had the WORST experience. His clinicians are not properly trained or supervised. The clinician I worked with was a liar and manipulative. As a new clinician, I'm concerned about him working with other clients.