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the NOCD Community

I listen to a lot of ocd podcasts and watch a lot videos read a lot of articles. And I’m recently feeling a bit worried when I hea stories about how ocd has manifested in other people’s lives. A lot of people talk about experiencing some perfectionism as a kid, often counting or being afraid of germs. I don’t temper experiencing such things. I don’t think I’ve ever struggled with contamination ocd. I’ve only really struggled with pure o types of ocd. This leads me to worry “maybe it’s not ocd.” Does anyone else feel this way?

Monday check in: if your feelings were a Crayola crayon, what color would they be? What would you name the crayon?

I’ve been dealing with HOCD since January 8 and it all started with a friend telling me i give off a gay vibe and he could see me with a girl one day. i have anxiety disorder as well i thought i’d mention and i’m also 16. when it come to my HOCD it’s about the fear that i was never straight and the fear that i could potentially fall in love with a girl because i’ve seen this happen with friends and on movies the compulsions i did was avoiding things on instagram that showed same sex lesbian couples, movie or show edits like call me by your name, atypical, same sex couples edits in general. i used to love watching these edits and they had no attachment to me but i can’t stop relating it to myself. i’d stop listening to music from artist that were gay or gave off a gay vibe like billie eilish, frank ocean, clairo, tyler the creator- literally my fav artist. i’d follow a bunch of pages of boy on instagram even though before the bs started i never liked those pages cus i found them really cringy. i didn’t go on tiktok cus of the gay culture on there. i’d avoid news articles about LGBTQ+. i unfollowed many girls that reminded me of my obsession. for reassurance i would talk to myself in the mirror or in the shower or i’d pray or i’d ask people if i give off a gay vibe and the answer would always be “no sis you’re straight” felt good for like an hour then i thought would pop up and i’d go back into my depressed state. i didn’t go to school for a week cus of this. i’d pay so much attention to my downstairs area every time i’d look at pictures of girls For ERP i created a music playlist with all the artist that remind me of LGBTQ+, i made a folder in instagram with things that remind me of LGBTQ+ and when ever i get a thought or create hypothetical situation i let them play out and i let my mind run wild no matter how uncomfortable or depressed it makes me feel. i re-followed all the girls that remind me of my obsession. i made the movie call my by your name my phone background so i can get used to that anxiety i feel. keep in mind I’ve only been doing this for two days so if you’re gonna ask me if it’s worked, it’s a tiny tiny bit better but all progress is progress i think good advice is stop looking up things about HOCD and start looking up things about ERP because for me reading things about it was also my compulsion and reassurance and it’s not healthy. i love you all and i know we will all get back to our normal selves. ❤️?

With my HOCD i keep creating hypothetical situation that i don’t want to happen. like scenarios that i see in so many movies where the character is straight their whole life and then they meet someone of the same sex and they end up falling in love with them. i’m scared that will happen to me and i don’t want it too the thing is i used to love watching these movies and shows hat showed these scenarios cus i found them so wholesome and i just love love. for example Call my by your name, Alex strangelove, atypical i’ve watched these things so many times and i absolutely love them is there a way i can stop creating these hypothetical situations cus it’s the biggest thing i need to overcome. i feel like i know i’m not attracted to girls in that way i just need to stop making these hypothetical situations. thanks.

How do you guys connect with your significant others without scaring them about your ocd? I want to be open but it's hard to know what is too much... thanks

Feeling like everything is real right now?

Is there anyone who suffers from real event ocd ? I can’t find any help. I’m desperate. I’m in a really hard place right now. Anyone who can help please?

Everytime something I see or hear I’ll feel something down there and I don’t know why and like I won’t rly freak out much about it which is making me terrified now that like what if those feelings are true? Idk man I hate this :( I don’t wanna be a terrible person and I’m scared I’m disgusting. And my paranoia is getting to me like my friend hasn’t been speaking to me lately and it’s like I’m scared it’s bc of things I’ve said. Idk.

OCD and childhood trauma. Does anyone else have a formulation like this one. I. Currently seeing a therapist but it's focused prodominatly on childhood trauma I experienced. (in short. Sexual abuse) I and my therapist believe that thiz trauma has left me with inncurate belief that there is something fundamentally sinful or sordid about my sexuality due to the guilt and shame I took from these experiences, and a lot of the therapy is do used on challenging that belief a recognising I was a victim and a child, not a perperteator.. I believe that this also informs and is the cause for a lot of my harm OCD and pocd symptoms.... My therapist is a trauma therapist however and doesn't know much about OCD, although she says it seems to fit. I guess whata hard Is I don't know where my trauma starts and my OCD finishes and it generally makes the whole thing a lot less straight forward. Like is it even OCD or is it just my trauma has made me into a potentially sick and dangerous and twisted individual (this is where my OCD started I think because I read an article that victims of sexual abuse sometimes go in to abuse) and then I was like... Oh god what if that ends up being me', and the fear never went away until it became an obsession and I at times haven't left he house in fear I'm dangerous and spent hours and hours a day checking every thought and emotion and action for evidence. I guess yeah so.. I don't know what's trauma and whats OCD and where to get those answers and if making a disnction is even useful, if it's common for these to overlap, and how to help it cos treatment for each is very different. Hope that makes sense... Feeling a bit vulnerable now.

I need advice from anyone dealing with any sort of existential OCD. How do you get over the depressing feelings from your thoughts? My thoughts feel unbearable at times and I can't figure out how to cope. I've started ERP, but my mood gets so low sometimes because of these thoughts I feel like I can't handle it. To be more specific, my intrusive thoughts are from Andy Weir's story The Egg.

I genuinely feel like people with ocd have a higher iq are more intelligent interesting and creative than most people, if only we can use it to own advantage.. #superpower #positivity

Hello fellow fighters! I had managed OCD after a long struggle with variable levels of the disorder. I had been through Scrupulosity(religious OCD) which was the 2nd them in my case. By the time, the third theme was coming, I went for psychotherapy. Mindfulness and professional help helped me a lot. Other than that, directing my attention towards productive activities like programming and studying helped me a lot. I have a question: I have improved a lot in the past 1 year. I still sometimes involve in checking ( I think one cannot 100% eliminate this). This causes me to slow down in study particularly in subjects like mathematics. I find it really hard to go through long calculations. From what I have read, I believe it's more about the lack of confidence in my memory. Also, I have issues in remembering long instructions. Academically, I am doing well but my problem solving skills have declined in the last few years . So, now I am working on these areas. I think practicing without checking might help. I practice mindfulness meditation on a daily basis and it has transformed my life. It has helped with concentration too. This has to do a lot with working memory and checking. Anybody could throw some light on this and give some advice please. In short, Please give some advice on 1. improving working memory 2. Avoiding checking in general and in calculations/steps. I start to get anxiety (something is wrong) while solving. Other than that, I have trouble in things like filling forms, or situations when we have to check something.

Please can someone keep me company or listen to me? I'm just extremely distressed :(

What have been some positive aspects you’ve recognized or encountered while having OCD? After my onset it helped me to become a more compassionate person toward others, more open minded, and also helped to strengthen my faith.

My ocd theme is currently centered around the extreme fear of my boyfriend or a loved one dying ?

How the fuck do people NOT worry all day everyday about being dumped? I feel I’ve gotta do something to stop him ever leaving me 24/7 I feel it has to be to myself, like break a bone or something so he cares more? Or have something bad happen to me that won’t kill me or anything but like make him scared HE will lose ME? I don’t understand how it’s possible people simply, *dont* fear abandonment? To me that’s absolutely insane. If he leaves me I feel I have no options other than hope I die in my sleep too

I feel like I need something bad (but not life threatening or permanently altering) needs to happen to me, to get people to start caring about me and loving me the way I want and need? I feel like everyone needs to have some kind of like wake up call or something I really don’t feel I have any value and that’s the only way I will ever get it if there’s risk to me

Do any of you have experience with Buspar? And if so do it work for you?

I’m panicking so hard over my life My job is a dead end job I HATED from day one I wanted to leave on my lunch hour and my ex wouldn’t have been happy so I stayed. Been here four years now and he threw me out with no warning after ten years but I’m still stuck here. Ive been bullied there by my manager for a year, used my mental illness against me and I have been feeling trapped and isolated. When I apply for new jobs. I hear nothing. I feel powerless and nothing is in my control. I can’t leave because I won’t have money and I can’t work out what to do with my creativity. Everyone reminds me constantly I’m wasted at a job I already despise so it makes me spiral into “oh god I’ll never make my life worth anything” Also My ocd is wrecking me My anxiety in general is wrecking me I feel low I think I may also have undiagnosed bpd My partner’s mother is ill will cancer and he’s shutting me out, triggering my abandonment fears I feel no security or direction in my life at all. I feel I’m on shaky ground 24/7 and I have no control over anything Panic please please say someone else feels this way I feel a complete failure and disappointment running out of time

I’m super anxious because my hocd is focused on one girl now and whenever she stands super close to me or touches me I get this weird anxious feeling and o find myself leaning away from her. I’m scared that it’s really actual feelings because it’s just one person.